How many of us see obstacles in our life and right away have the urge to fight them? If there is a chance to adapt and work around them it would save us a great deal of energy that could be spent focused on success. What a waste of time and energy it is to argue. Even if you manage to ‘win’ the argument, chances are you will have ‘lost’ the relationship. If the person agrees to go along with your ideas, it is never with an excited passion. It is better to state the solution you are aiming towards, and try to come up with a joint solution.
Next time you encounter resistance while working towards a goal, remember to stay focused on the solution and not the problem. Go around the rocks if you can.
In many ways, I consider myself a modern-day stoic. There are many great thoughts expressed in this philosophy. Above is one of them. This is why it is so important to not only think of, but decide on and WRITE DOWN specific goals. View them daily, if not several times a day. Can you imagine having free plane tickets with no destination in mind? What good would they be? It is a shame to have good fortune thrust upon us and to not have a plan to make the most of it. As much as I like this quote on face value, I find that flipping it around makes it even more valuable. Let me explain.
I believe when you have a firm and worthwhile destination every wind is favorable. You can tell when the wind is blowing in your favor. You raise the sails and make the most of it. When the wind is blowing against you, you lower the sails, you may even have to row a little. If you get caught in a terrible storm of life, you know to ride it out and make sure your ship is pointed in the right direction to get back on track. When you have a solid destination in life there are two types of events. The one that makes you say, “This will certainly help!” That is when the wind is blowing in your favor. The other is when you say, “I can learn and grow with this.” That is when the wind seems to be blowing against you.
Think of trying to eat better. Someone brings in healthy snacks to work. (It could happen) You think to yourself, “This will sure make eating healthier more enjoyable and easier. The next day someone brings in doughnuts and soda. (This is far more likely) Then you say to yourself, “This will certainly help test my will power.” In both of these situations you get closer to your goal of eating better even though one of them is more helpful than the other. This holds true with fitness, study, cleaning the house or any situation you can think of.
In life if you do not know where you want to go, how on earth are you going to get there? We must make our destination firm in our minds and remind ourselves of it often. Life today is filled with distractions more so than any other time in history. Staying focused on our path places us in the top tier of successful people. Where is the port you are sailing towards?
Many people find themselves in a state of unhappiness. There is a way to turn that around. That is to begin to work on becoming the best version of yourself. It begins with an honest evaluation of where you are now. This can be a bit deflating, but in order to know where you want to go, it is necessary to know where you are. Think of looking at a map. If you were to look at your destination, but have no idea where you are, how would you know in which direction you should go. It is the same with the journey of your life.
I once heard Tony Robbins say, “Progress equals happiness.” Earl Nightingale’s definition of success is, “A progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” Both of these bring up a good point. It is not the accomplishment of goals, or reaching a certain point that brings us the greatest deal of happiness. Although those certainly should be celebrated. If you notice in both quotes, the word ‘progress’ is featured. Think of trying to get in shape. It certainly is a great feeling to look in the mirror and find yourself at the level of fitness you desire. Do you know what is an even more exciting feeling? When you realize you have to by a size smaller in clothing because the size you have been wearing for the last couple of years is now too large. You know you are on your way!
One of the greatest thieves of joy is comparison. It can even upend progress. Have you ever had this experience? You are feeling good about the progress you have made towards some goal. Smile on your face, joy in your heart. Then you run into a friend who has made greater progress towards the same goal, maybe even in a shorter amount of time. Suddenly, your happiness is crushed. You go from feeling like a conqueror to a failure. It is worse if you are just about to start your journey of self-improvement. You pop on social media and see pictures of people who you went to school with that have not only already accomplished the goals you are striving for, but have surpassed them.
The phrase that comes to mind in all of these examples is “Who cares!” That is them. We never know anyone’s complete story. Maybe they post pictures of their career success but fail to mention the happy home life it cost them. Maybe they appear to be madly in love, but are fighting addiction. Another important point is that each journey is unique to the individual. I am more impressed with someone who has managed to reach a state of inner peace after fighting the demons of depression than someone who has reached inner peace after inheriting a fortune from their family. That is why it is so important to be focused on improving ourselves and the challenges we have overcome.
Here is a bonus way of making this more fun and enjoyable. Look for the small accomplishments of your friends, family and even your coworkers. Celebrate them as if they were your own. You never know what it took for them to overcome that. The more you help others celebrate their wins, the more joy and peace will come to your heart. Not to mention, the more likely they are to celebrate your wins as well. Remember, there is enough room for all of us to win!
I have a few relatives that come to mind with this phrase. I have a grandma who talks…a lot. She is imperfect. I have an aunt that says the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times. Again, imperfect. Don’t we all know people like this? In some ways, unique to us, we are all people like this.
Yet in this imperfections, these people are at the same time perfect. My grandma, for example, will share so many amazing stories of her life. There are never any awkward silences in the conversation. My aunt and her inappropriate comments often break the ice at stressful times. Think funerals as an example. She makes others feel comfortable expressing themselves. Perfect!
Whatever perceived imperfections you may struggle with within yourself, know that they are perfect in their own way. Each of us bring something vital to the world that nobody else can. We are a blend of perfect imperfections.
How many of these amazing things do you make it a point to put into your life? The more of them we add, it is like watering a plant. The more we are likely to grow! In each of these items, there are also many options. Take ‘kind words’ for example. You could write affirmations for yourself. You could listen to an encouraging meditation or you could read secret2anamazinglife.com!
Out of these ways to water yourself, which is your favorite? Use as many as you can. The more you use, the more you will grow. You deserve it and you are worth it!
Many people shy away from the world of ‘self-improvement’ because it sounds like something is wrong with them. Let us not get started on the term ‘self-help’. That sounds like you are in a bad way and needing some help. The truth is far subtler. We could always improve ourselves, and thus, our lot in life. We all could use a little help. This is true when we are striving to learn something new, or unlearn something we have been doing for years. Both ‘improvement’ and ‘help’ are not a sign of weakness. They are signs you are seeking to become a better version of yourself.
Do not let the terms trip you up. Even if you love your vehicle, wouldn’t it be great to get better gas mileage? There is nothing wrong with you; improve anyway. This would be a great mantra to have in your head. If you are always working to be your best and do your best that is great. As we go through life, we learn and experience more. That means our best is a moving target. As we improve, so does the best of what we can be. That means there is never a finish line. That should not make you feel defeated, but excited. There are always opportunities to be healthier, happier and more loving. Keep striving to improve yourself. By doing so you will continue to improve your life.
Every day someone runs a red light in an attempt to get home quicker and never makes it. Every night someone closes their eyes planning on what they are going to do the next day, completely unaware they will never open their eyes again. How many lives are not only ended every day, but can be turned upside down with an injury, a diagnosis or even a job loss or loss of a loved one? Countless. Most of them never thought it would happen to them.
These facts are not an attempt to get you feeling down. Quite the contrary. We can all agree that these statements are true. What this should do is create a sense of urgency to squeeze every last drop of joy and happiness out of the life you are currently living. The best way to do this is by becoming the best version of yourself. That means investing your time and energy into improving who you are today. Not to put it off. When I appeared on the television show Positively Milwaukee, one of the things mentioned was that the time to learn to swim is on the shore and not when the boat is sinking. What this means is that preparation is better than reaction. If we wait until the moment is upon us, it is often too late.
Take a literal example of the Titanic sinking. How many people aboard did not know how to swim? Many might have thought they did not have to know. After all they were aboard a ship “so unsinkable even God couldn’t sink it.” Something I would not recommend uttering. The fact is that the people felt safe on the ship. They were not prepared for the disaster that occurred. Even the White Star Company, who owned the ship, didn’t feel the need to equip it with enough life boats. After all the law at the time said they didn’t have to. Many people lost their lives due to these decisions.
Life is much like a journey of a cruise ship. We are sailing smooth when out of nowhere we hit an iceberg. If we are not prepared, the results can be tragic. This could even include a loss of life. Many of the lives lost aboard the ship that day could not have been saved. As we mentioned earlier, there were not enough life boats. That is why it is important to be present and enjoy every second of life. The better version of yourself you are, the more you can enjoy life. The more present you are, the more grateful you are, even the more in shape you are can allow you to enjoy more of the fruits of life.
Considering these facts, when would now be a good time to start working on your journey of self-improvement and self-development? The sooner you start, the sooner you can start enjoying life to the fullest. Not to mention, you never know what icebergs are right around the corner.
Here is a powerful and quick reminder. We should always do our best. Work to be the best spouse to our partner. The best parent to our children. The best servant to humanity. Here is the caveat – your best does not have to be perfect.
In the course of doing your best to guide your children in the right direction in life, you may slip up. Perhaps you will speak to them too harshly. How about being the best spouse? Some days you might have your partner floating on clouds. Other days, there may be quite a bit of thunder between you two.The important part is to be able to look in the mirror and say, “It might not be perfect, but I did my best.”
Do not lie to yourself. If you didn’t do your best, you know where you can improve. If you did do your best, but with hindsight you know what you could do better, don’t be too hard on yourself. You learned how you can be a better version of yourself next time. As the picture says, you’re doing your best and your best doesn’t have to be perfect.
It is spring here in the Northern hemisphere. In this country, that means the start of baseball season. Out of all the sports, this one has one of the longest seasons. There are 162 games to play in a single year. By contrast, in the National Football League, they play 18. That means in the course of a baseball season you can have a run of good luck and great play, followed by a run of less than stellar play. What makes a good season? How can you get back on track after a bad streak? The answer is the same in baseball as it is in life. That answer is you keep swinging.
A few days ago we celebrated 1000 days in a row of sharing content. This is actually day 1003. How did we manage to keep this up through a busy life and many obstacles? We kept swinging. Sometimes our content reached hundreds, in many countries. Sometimes it was only a few in a few countries. On occasion we received lots of engagement. There were weeks when we received none and were left to wonder if anyone was reading at all. Life is like that too. Some days life can seem to be flowing along smoothly. There are days when we hurt ourselves just getting out of bed. Even a few days where we just can’t make it out of bed at all. What to do in any of those situations? Keep swinging.
Showing up in life doesn’t guarantee us success. Not showing up does rather limit our opportunities however. In my own personal experience, sometimes when you show up and can barely go through the motions is often when people need you the most. There are times that whether I am writing, at my day job or as a DJ, I feel I am not bringing my best and someone will tell me how much I have impacted their lives.
Many people talk about grind and hustle. I want to remind of the power of persistence and resilience. Being able to show up in the face of life’s storms takes a special skill but one that will define you as someone who can be counted on. It will expose you to the maximum amount of opportunity and increase your chance for success. I am going to leave you with a quote from the Rocky movies that wraps up what we have been talking about nicely. As always, I would love to hear your feedback!
Today is a big day here at Secret2anamazinglife.com! We are celebrating posting inspiring and useful content for 1000 days in a row. It took a second to decide what I was going to post on this momentous day. After all, it is one of the biggest milestones we have celebrated since reaching 10 years of content back in 2022. The idea came to me while thinking about one of my favorite inspirations, Earl Nightingale. In his autobiography, he discusses what inspired him to write The Strangest Secret, his most famous work. His thought train was, “What if I only had a short time to live? What words of advice would I give my children?”It is with this mindset that I put forth these words today.
I began to think what words would I share if I only had a short time to live. Having actually gone through that helps a little. Sitting down with a nice cup of coffee, I began to toss that thought around in my head. This is what Earl did as well before he wrote that powerful work mentioned earlier. What came to my mind is the first quote attributed to Gandhi. It is my favorite quote and one I would want the world to focus on. It would seem a thought we are drifting further away from. Rather than focus on who is to blame for all the ills of the world, or complain about them, we should be focused on the solution. I have never found blame and complaining to be part of any worthwhile solution. What is the solution? It is a simple and easy formula we have heard a million times but seldom do we really ponder it’s power in changing our world. “As you sow, so shall you reap.”
This idea was the main motivation for starting this website. Firmly believing that if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. My lament back in 2012, when I started this site, was that there was too much negativity in the world. It seemed everywhere I looked negativity was there. Little did I know by 2025, you didn’t even have to look, it finds you! Delivered to our phones, our laptops, and our mailboxes. It comes through our email, our coworkers and often through the mouths of family and friends. Do you know what complaining about all of this negativity does? Add one more negative thing to the pile! The following year, while pursing writing my first book, I was introduced to the quote, “Better to light a single candle than curse the darkness.” What you are reading is my candle. We had lit 1000 in a row!
The key to all of this was taking action. Recently, I have really come to admire the philosophy of Stoicism. The above quote is an example why. It is simple, to the point and action driven. I have seen people argue about what the right course of action is for hours. It is far wiser to set an example with our actions. Do you want the world to be full of good humans? (which is what I am sure Marcus Aurelius meant) The only 100% guaranteed way to make sure the world begins to have better humans is to be one. Want to help the environment? You best be recycling yourself. Let us waste no more time arguing with each other what should be done. Let us pick up the shovel of our struggle and begin to dig. People may not always listen to what you say, but they will always notice your example.
In this rather long quote from Mahatma Gandhi, he is basically saying the same thing. The part of the quote that states, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies of the world would also change.” In other words, if you find your world a little too negative for your liking, be as positive as you can. What you will find happening is the world returning your positivity in kind. Does that mean you will not face the occasional negative moment? Of course not. It will, however, become the exception instead of the rule. When you sow kindness and compassion, guess what you will reap? That’s right. You will reap kindness and compassion. You cannot plant an apple seed and expect a watermelon to grow from it. No more than you can expect the world to change for the better unless you change for the better. It is the simple equation of “What you sow, you shall reap.”
Today let us all work to be the change we wish to see in the world. Let us plant the seeds of change we wish to reap in the world around us. Seeds of compassion. Seeds of love. Seeds of positivity. Are you planting seeds or are you complaining and sending prayers to the devil, as Mr. Bob Marley so accurately put it?
As we here at Secret2anamazinglife.com chart our next horizon, be that 3000 total posts published, 3 years in a row posting or whatever else we come up with, We encourage you to be the change you wish to see in the world. Begin to plant those seeds that you wish to reap. Thank you for being part of our journey so far. We invite you to stick with us as we continue our work in helping the world be a better place than it was yesterday.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 