Life is a balance. This quote is a good representation. I think most of us fall on either side of this equation. How about you? Do you act without engaging your thinking apparatus? Perhaps opening your mouth while keeping your mind shut? Perhaps you are someone who sits on the sideline wargaming everything but never engaging in action? Worried about making the wrong decision so you never make any decision at all.
Next time you are facing a challenge in your life, ask yourself which one of these two camps you fall in. Are you acting without thinking things through? Maybe you are spending too much time in your head and need to get out there and start taking more action. Even if the action you take is incorrect, you will certainly learn that quicker than if you never acted in the first place. Can it really be this simple? Find out for yourself. Next time you are challenged, ask yourself if you need to act or to think more.
Love the last line of this quote, “and it’s not only about trains.” Raise your hand if you have found yourself on the ‘wrong train’ in life? If you do not have your hand up, you have been extremely lucky or are not being completely honest with yourself. We have all been there and there is no harm in getting on a wrong train. That could be a job, a relationship or any other area of life. Sometimes it takes a while to realize where the train is headed. Sometimes we change our destination and need to adjust what train we are on. Life can be like that sometimes.
What is meant by the longer you stay on the train the more expensive the return trip will be is that the more we persist in the wrong actions, the more difficult, and often more expensive, turning things around will be. How many of us have heard people stay in jobs or relationships they know are wrong because they have been there a long time. It is equivalent to staying on a train that is heading to the wrong destination. Here is another fact to keep in mind. Even when we do get on the right train, we do not get to our destination right away. We may often have to travel back through some of the same ground that we have already passed. Take relationships for example. You may finally find the right partner, but experience some of the same problems from the partner you left. This can be for 2 very good reasons. First, you might be part of the problem. Second, to this relationship, the problem is brand new. You may have fought about it with your ex countless times, but hey, this is a new train. If you are practicing the tools and strategies on this site and in my books, you will be better equipped to handle it in a more productive fashion than you have in the past.
While you are traveling on your right train, be sure to enjoy the scenery. Often, we are so focused on the destination we miss enjoying the trip. Plus, the scenery can tell us that we are on the wrong train, or at the very least, our train might be on the wrong track. Perhaps you do have the right partner, but your relationship may need a little guidance. Focusing on a shared destination and what is important to see on the journey.
Speaking of the journey, it can often be misleading. On the way to a tropical destination, you might have to go through the mountains and see some snow. Keep the destination in mind and adjust your travels. If you are looking to get to the tropics and the weather outside the train seems snowy for far too long, maybe it is a sign to ask yourself, “Is this train headed in the direction I want to go?” If it is not, maybe you need to switch trains, or switch tracks.
Same with careers. Is your job using you or are you using your job? My day job used to feel very incorrect for me, but I have learned to ‘switch tracks’ and put it to use for me. I practice the tools and strategies I learn on my coworkers, helping them level up and live the best life they can. Can you find ways to put what may seem like the wrong train on the right track?
Let me share a little bit with you. I am currently reading a book on persuasion. It is really eye-opening. How advertisers, politicians and others use persuasion to influence our decisions. We have all experienced this. We are looking up camping spots for our friend when we suddenly start receiving ads for camping gear, woods themed bedding and even a stuffed bear that talks. Yes, advertisers will use social media to put ads for things we have expressed interest in. Even if that interest was to help our friend get a spot to put up their tent.
Here is the tricky bit, most influence is not that obvious. Cereal makers place sugar filled, unhealthy and addictive cereals at eye level…for children. The boxes are full of bright colors. Ones that have been studied to foster a sense of hunger. They also have bright cartoon characters. They may even feature phrases like, “part of a healthy breakfast.” What they fail to mention is that it is a very small part, like the treat you would give yourself for eating something actually healthy. Most of us fall victim to these methods of influence. Here is the scary part. When we grab that box off the shelf, we think that we are the one choosing what cereal we are buying. As you can see, there are lots of influences we may be unaware of.
Political ads. Here is another source of influence that people do not realize. Firms are hired to pick pictures, pieces of quotes, what words have the greatest emotional impact down to even what colors reflect what emotion. Then they are mailed out to you and I. They come on our phone, our laptop, our television, our radio and even that meditation video you are using to relax on YouTube. Before long you find yourself parroting some ridiculous story about the opposition riding with the headless horseman stealing babies. Things that if you really stopped and thought about really do sound insane. Here is the truth – divided people are easier to rule. You might want to read that again.
This post is not about political ads, however asinine they may be. Trust me, there is always an election going on somewhere. It is about that fact that a good portion of our lives is manipulated by others. Even beliefs we grew up with. We might have been raised to think a certain group of people are bad. Armed with this knowledge, we never associate with such people. After all, why would you want to associate with a group of people who are bad. By never actually getting to know them, we just continue to foster the belief that was thrust upon us before we were old enough to think for ourselves.
Starting today, I beg of you to begin to reclaim your life from the advertisers, the politicians and even the outdated beliefs. Have an honest conversation with yourself as to why you believe what you do, why you act and speak as you do and where that information comes from. Before you go to the store, know what you are looking for and what is important to you. Read labels. If you still want to buy a Pop Tart, go ahead, but do so because that is what you really want to do, not because it is in front of you in the snack aisle.
Life is over quicker than we think. It is up to all of us to make sure we are living a life of our own choosing. Do not hate your neighbor because someone else told you that you should. Get to know your neighbor. We all have our faults, but we all have our skills and redeeming qualities as well. Live your life on your terms!
Here we are, Monday morning. Back to the grind as they say. What all of these cliches do not tell you is what this ‘rat race’ may be costing you. Many people have greatness deep within them waiting to come out. In fact, I would say all of us have that area in which we both love and do well at. The sad truth is that most of us are too tired at the end of the day to pursue this course of action. We give our best time and energy to keeping the lights on and a roof over our head. That is admirable for sure.
What this post is here to remind you of, is that we must give ourselves time for self-reflection. Many do not know what the area we were born to do is. We do not know what that intersection of self-fulfillment and service is. We might work on it on the weekend or the occasional day off. Some of us put discovering what this is until after we retire. By the time we figure out how to put in action and bring it out to the world, we are dead. That is a sad truth. Let me assure you that I understand being tired. Working 55 hours a week at a day job, DJing on my only day off can be exhausting. Still, my life mission of helping others become the best version of themselves and live their best life is so important to me, we are currently at 1040 days in a row of bringing you content. I am also working on bringing my fourth book to life.
That is why it is so vital that you begin to explore what really lights you up inside. Is it fishing? Is it painting? Is it talking to others? There are opportunities in all of this. Begin to explore those things in hobbies and side hustles. You might have to lose a little sleep, but you will gain energy with the excitement and passion you use. I promise you this is how you can make the biggest impact in the world, by doing what you love. What the world needs are more people doing what sets their soul on fire. Won’t you join us?
It would be safe to say that the world feels pretty divided right now. There are lots of folks fighting for their beliefs. Sadly, there are many fighting against each other. This may come as a surprise to many, but you cannot bully, yell or argue your way into convincing someone your way is the best way. What you can do is become the best living example of why your way of life is admirable. Would you take financial advice from someone who is broke? How about workout advice from someone who is hopelessly out of shape? Probably not.
See this happy couple? People ask us our secret all of the time. I would like to see more couples respect each other and constantly work on improving their relationship. What do we do? We are that couple. Do we always get it right? Of course not. Then we hopefully work on being an example of the kind of people we would like to see handling a disagreement with their spouse correctly. It is not only intimate relationships either. How you engage with anyone says a lot about you. Do you wish people would respect your beliefs? Then ask yourself if you are someone who respects other’s beliefs? Do you wish we would treat other with kindness? Ask yourself how you treat people who cannot do anything for you. Do you still treat them with kindness and respect?
My favorite bit of advice has always been “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” I do my best to live up to that every day. How about you? Are you the personification of the changes you wish to see in the world? If not, wouldn’t it be a good time to shine by example?
Every day it seems we are bombarded with messages to create a sense of urgency on our behalf. “Buy this before you will miss out on this epic sale!” “Pay you tax bill before you go to jail!” “See the doctor about your condition before you fall over dead.” Obviously, some of these are good advice to follow. Generally, waiting to deal with a problem seldom makes it better. It is good to tackle that debt before it gets out of control. It is better to see the doctor at the first sign of trouble. As far as buying that exciting new sports car before the summer sale is over? That might be pushing it.
Many of these advertising giants employ two tactics to create this urgency. One is fear of what might happen if you do not address it. This works very well in our tax and doctor example. The other is fear of missing out, or FOMO as it is known. What will you miss if you do not act now? Will it be saving large amounts of money for a car to impress the neighbors? We sure can be moved to action by those who would like us to buy their products.
Here is the crazy thing, we are missing the sense of urgency we should have. That is to make the most of life. I realize that this may sound like some cliche put forth by a self-improvement guru, but hear me out. Every day, sometimes multiple times a day, we lose opportunities. People pass away. Jobs are lost. We get a terrible diagnosis. The sands of the hourglass do not stop. Not for us, not for those we love. To some, this may sound like I am dwelling on a morbid subject. View it how you will, but it still remains true. The days, and the chance to make the most of them, are slipping away by the second. This becomes more clear when you go through a near-death experience or as you grow older. Being a member of both of those clubs, let me assure you that I see this fact very clear.
You might think this has little to do with you because you are still young. Not so. Yes, the more years you put behind you, the more likely you are to meet an untimely demise, but youth is not a promise to life. In today’s world we can see this more and more. War, famine, political unrest and social violence has all but come the norm. Not to mention the lives of others in your life. You do not know what their situations are. Your time with your children is growing shorter parents. Children, you will only have your parents so long. Best friends are only rented, even if they last a lifetime. We are never promised tomorrow, but we can make the most of today. That is the urgency we are trying to convey here today. Tomorrow is not promised for any of us. Say “I love you” one more time. Forgive and move on, not for their benefit, but so you can reclaim the peace in your heart you so richly deserve.
Look at the sands in the hourglass. They fall second by second. The amount on top forever getting smaller. We do not know how much is left on the top of hourglass. What I can promise you is that it is less then it was when you began reading this post.
I saw this on a friend’s page and thought, “That was nice of them to share. ” Honestly, I couldn’t even tell you which friend it was. This message did bring something to mind. It was posted on my friend’s social media page. It was a wish for all of their friends to see, not just me.
As I thought how nice and refreshing it was to read something pleasant, with no ulterior motives behind it, I wondered why this doesn’t happen more often in real life. How come we do not share genuine messages with heartfelt encouragement with more people. “Have a good day.” not withstanding, how many other encouraging greetings do we offer?
What can be fun about this, is that it is an area we can be creative in. One of my favorites is “Drive careful and stay healthy.” I’m going to make an effort to share more specific greetings with people that encourage and uplift. I would love to hear some of yours.
Here is something that can make a dramatic difference in your life. Waking up in a good mood. Have you ever given that much thought? Has it ever occurred to you that you have a choice as to what kind of mood you do wake up in? I wake up at 4am six days a week. Margie is always amazed that even on very little sleep I tend to wake up in a good mood. It wasn’t always this way and yes, there is a secret to it. Before I share what that secret is, ask yourself what waking up in a good mood could do for you? Waking up in a determined state instead of reacting to what the world throws at you. Deciding your own emotional state instead of leaving it up to the fate of others or outside circumstances.
This will allow you to do a great many things you would not be able to if you did not control your own emotional state. You will decrease your stress levels and the hormones related to it. This can minimize your risk for heart attacks and high blood pressure. That is pretty important. You will also be less reactive. When we are already stressed, even the smallest things can set us off. When we face a challenge beginning in a good emotional state, we are better equipped to make intelligent decisions. We will also be less likely to be left with consequences we will regret. Less stressed and generally more full of joy means our immune systems will be stronger. That means less colds and flu. To the very obvious, life is a lot more enjoyable.
By now you should be sold on the benefits of waking up in a good mood, but how do you do it? It is easier than you think and not complicated at all. It starts the night before. What you think of the last five minutes before sleep is what your subconscious mind will focus on while you are sleeping. If you go to sleep dreading the alarm the next morning, or fretting over all the problems you had that day, that focus will only cause those situations to grow. Give yourself a break and focus on what you have to be grateful for. It could be the fact you have a place to sleep. It could be the person next to you or the cat or dog at the end of the bed. Instead of dreading going to work, be thankful you are employed. Many are not. This is why reading something inspiring before bed helps. If you keep a gratitude journal, reviewing it before bed makes it that much more powerful.
When you do wake up, even if you have very little time to yourself, you can still set yourself up for success. Did I mention that I wake up at 4am? I often have very little time to get ready and get to work on time. The main reason is that I have a hard time leaving a warm bed with a hot lady inside of it. Instead of being upset I have to do that, I am grateful I have that. Then, near my bed and all of the places I am sure to go in the morning, such as the coffee maker, I have reminders of things that I am grateful for or that bring me joy. Pictures of loved ones or fun vacations. A well-placed inspirational quote can help your focus. Even reading your favorite motivational and inspirational blog, Secret2anamazinglife.com, can start your day out right. A little bit of light physical movement to get the heart pumping helps. If you have a mantra or an inspiring saying you enjoy? Try repeating it to yourself as you get ready. Place inspiring quotes or images on the bathroom mirror to look at while you brush your teeth.
These are but some of the ways that you can assure you wake up ready to take on the world and be a blessing to those around you. I would love to hear any tips you can offer on how to start your day off filled with joy and inner peace.
This week, create your own luck. “Sounds great Neil, but how do I do that?” you might be wondering. In a word – prepare! It amazes me when people tell me how lucky I am. “You are lucky to have so many people follow your blog.” They say. What they do not see is the time and effort put in on top of working 56 hours a week at my day job and working as a DJ on the weekends. “You are so lucky you do not get sick more often.” Those who say this do not talk about eating healthy, working out or making sure to take my vitamins. My favorite is when people tell me how lucky Margie and I are that we have a great relationship. Am I fortunate and blessed to have such a beautiful and loving lady in my life? Absolutely! Do all of our days and plans go smoothly? Not hardly. We both get sick, tired and on each other’s last nerve on occasion. We have breakdowns in our communication. We also work our butts off to address these things. There are always threats looking for that chink in the armor of love. It could be jealous people. It could be people who are spiteful. Even when we do figure things out, there is the threat of taking things for granted or falling victim to familiarity. That is why we are constantly working to keep things fun, fresh and spicy.
Do you want to create more luck in your life? All you have to do is work harder. Do you want to be ‘lucky’ enough to write and publish 3 books? It will cost you many sleepless nights, lots of frustration and plenty of hard work. Do you want to be ‘lucky’ not to get the sickness that seems to be going around the office? You will have to work on staying in shape, watching your diet and perhaps taking a little extra vitamin C. Do you want to be ‘lucky’ in love? Let me tell you up front, you will have to work at it. Learn the art of active listening. Learn to apologize when you are wrong. Learn how to express your emotions properly and with thought for the other person’s feelings. Even before you get into a relationship, you can increase your chances of being ‘lucky’ when you find the one if you spend time working on yourself. The better version of yourself you bring to a relationship, the greater the chances are it will be ‘lucky’.
The formula may seem obvious, but it cannot be overstated. Like Thomas Jefferson said, the harder you work, the more luck you will have. What is important in your life? What area do you feel you would like to experience more ‘luck’ in? Whatever that area is, start to increase the amount of effort you put into it. You will find the amount of luck that seems to find you will only increase.
We always like to post encouragement on Wednesday. We are going to ask two questions of ourselves today. Feel free to share your answers in the comments below if you would like to add to the encouragement.
The first question is who are you proud of today? Is there someone you feel good above and beyond? Someone who makes your life better by what they do? Let them know and spread a little cheer.
The second question is often more difficult. Why are you proud of yourself? What amazing things have you done? How do you make the world a better place?
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 