Tag: Motivation

LOVE THEM ALL

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Yesterday we spoke of change and how important it was to embrace it. Here is another subject we should consider going into the next year, diversity. I know that can be a buzz word around the office and for HR purposes, but I am talking about personal diversity.

What do I mean by personal diversity? Imagine being surrounded by people exactly the same as yourself. Dating someone exactly like yourself, talking to people who think just like you do, watch the same shows, go to the same places. Life would not be very exciting. You would never learn about great new places to explore, new foods to try and new experiences to have. So in the coming year we should make a point to expand our personal social circle. Find people who can teach you, who can inspire you and who can bring something new to your life experience. It will be one of the best gifts you can give yourself in the new year!

JUST DON’T FIGHT IT

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As the old year starts to wind down and we prepare for the upcoming year there is one thing that is certain, it will not be the same. It is even hard to imagine a year being exactly the same as the last. Can you imagine eating the same things next December 28th that you ate this morning? Going to work and having the same things happen? Can you imagine having to wear the same clothes that you did on that day the year before? If all of this sounds absurd, ask yourself why. Is eating the same thing really depend on who you are with and what you can afford? Does wearing the same things depend on the weather?

The point of this is some people cannot accept, or at the very least have a hard time realizing things change. Fighting change is like trying to stop the sun from rising, it is just not going to happen. Of course there are great things in our life that we would like to never end. I have had a few of those myself, but time marches on and certainly everything from that fabulous party you were attending to a friendship, relationship or even the life of someone you care about must all come to an end. Change is the natural progression of things. If this were not the case a seed would never become a plant and we would not have food. Medicine would never be developed, houses would not be built we would never have the chance to see our children grow and develop.

So what can we do when something that gives us a great sense of joy changes? I was faced with this in the most odd circumstances just the other day. There is a building that has stood close to where I grew up. It was a car dealership at one point, a carpet store and probably some other things I forgot. I never spent a good amount of time inside of this place, but I must have walked by it a thousand or more times. It was a very unique building and I always thought it would make a great coffee shop. The other day I drove by and found it mostly demolished. For some reason I am not totally clear on it affected me more than I thought it should. I struggled with it for a while and was talking with a friend who pointed out that I can celebrate whatever the new building may be. I realized I had been living in the past and although the old building had some great memories perhaps there were even better ones to be made with the new one.

Everything is not this easy. When a relationship ends or a loved one dies we can’t, and shouldn’t just move on. Keeping the treasured memories and finding a way to honor them is one way to keep them alive in our hearts. Much like the seed having to crack open and fade away for the plant to develop sometimes the same is true in our life. Without the seed there would have been no plant, but in order for the plant to come to life the seed must have had to go away. As one of my favorite speakers Les Brown says, “sometimes it is hard to see the picture when you are in the frame”. So just know change will come and we must look for the good in the new while keeping the great memories of the past close to our heart.

EMPOWER YOUR LIFE!

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Here is your weekend homework. I promise this one will be fun! What are you good at? Last post we looked at what was great about us. Now let’s look at those skills and look at what we do great. I mentioned I enjoy talking to people. What can I do well with that? I can help people who feel lonely. I can use that to inspire people. I listed I love reading and learning new knowledge. What can I do with that? I could read to shut ins, I could read to children, I could share what I learn with people who would like to know.

Ok, so take the list you created yesterday and look at the things that you feel are great about yourself and think about how you can use them. Even if you can’t come up with an answer right now, start thinking about that. Let the thought bounce around your head. Then as you go through your day look for ways to bring what is great about you to the world. This does two very important things. First, it will bring something beautiful to the world. If it is something you are naturally good at, it will shine. People will appreciate you sharing it with them.

Second, it will make your life seem easier. It is naturally what you are good at so while you are working at it you will feel inspired not obligated. You will work harder than something that doesn’t inspire you. You will excel at a rate that will amaze even yourself. By all of this happening you will hear people begin to compliment you. You will be doing something you enjoy so you will have a smile on your face and in your heart. People will pick up on that. You will be sharing your gift with the world and making the world a better place.

So that is this weekends homework. Be on the lookout for ways to use your talents and passions in life. Is it through a side business? Maybe a hobby? In my case I love helping people see the beauty in themselves and the world around them. I do that through this blog, I do it through my first book A Happy Life for Busy People I will continue to do so in my second book. I also realize I can do that while I am working at the post office with  my coworkers, while I am DJing as people perform, while I am bartending and serving people cocktails. Here is the greatest thing, while I am doing so I am not only sharing my gift with the world and helping them feel amazing, guess how I feel when I am doing it? That’s right I am feel amazing. It turns any situation into one filled with passion and joy. So find your talents. Find out what is great about you and then find ways to share that with the world. If you need any help with ideas feel free to post here and we will all work together to bring your beauty to the world!

A FUN ACTIVITY THAT MAKES YOU SMILE

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You are awesome!!! Yes you, right there reading this. Day to day we our heads and ears are filled with news of what we are doing wrong, of what we need to improve in our lives. These are all important things to know, but every story has two sides, and you my dear friend, are your greatest story!

Today we are going to pay ourselves back. This activity will need roughly 30 minutes of your time. So feel free to read through this and set it up for when that time is available. Give this gift to yourself.

Ok, ready? Here is what you will need, time and a pen and paper or other way of recording your thoughts. That is it. First step, title your paper “Things that rock about me” or “things that are great about me” Yes I know this sounds crazy, but stick with me I promise you it will be worth it. Now simply start to think about things you do well. If this seems tricky at first that is ok. We are taught to be humble. We are taught focusing on how great we are sounds arrogant. That is not at all what we are talking about here. We are talking about a balancing of the scales. We will be using this information to improve both our lives and the world around us.

Know this, a person who is aware of what is great about themselves, about what is beautiful about themselves can more easily put themselves in situations that allow them to shine and also bring them joy. What would your life and your future be like if you knew you would daily find yourself in situations where you would be using your talents to the fullest? Where you could accomplish great things and do so with ease? Life would be pretty great wouldn’t it? Well today and tomorrows posts will allow us to do that, so please take time to complete this.

Still staring at a blank page or computer document? Let me give you some ideas on my list.

Things that kick ass about Neil

  1. I enjoy talking to people and learning about them
  2. I love to read and learn new things
  3. I never allow myself to feel like a victim
  4. I work to empower others

Even if you can only come up with one or two for right now do not worry, you can always add to it. Now take your list and put it somewhere you see every day. Put it by the mirror, the coffee maker on your dashboard. Anywhere you will see it. That way when you hear your boss tell you what you lack in, you can know there is something great in you as well. When you see that commercial on TV about how you should be a size 2, you will know while you are working toward being the healthiest version of you that there is already greatness inside of you.

Ok, next post we are going to look at how to use this list to do more than just motivate you and have you feeling good.

SOMETIMES YOU SHOULD NOT DO ANYTHING

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This is a blog post that is more directed at my male readers of this blog, but pertains to everyone. I say men more because as men we seem to be hard-wired to ‘fix’ things. Someone shares a problem with us, we start to go into the “what can I do to fix it” mode. Sometimes that is not what people are looking for. Sometimes they just need us to be present. Try picking out someone you care about. Schedule a lunch, coffee or get together with them.

When you get together with them trying spending those hours, or day or whatever time you have just being totally present. If it is a phone call, try staying totally focused on what they are telling you. Often in conversations people listen with an intent to respond instead of understanding. So listen to hear what they are saying. Don’t offer advice unless they ask. Focus the entire time on the other person. Halfway through their story do not start thinking of a story you have that is similar, just listen to theirs. It is a difficult change in behavior, but it is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone.

ANOTHER BENEFIT OF FOCUS

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Yesterday we talked about the importance of focus. Here is a picture of me from last Friday. Why does me sitting in front of a DJ board have to do with focus? Just about everything. Let me explain. I normally DJ with my lovely lady who has been doing just such a thing for over 15 years. When something goes crazy, she knows what button to push, or what plug may be lose. On this evening she had to focus on her goal of creating designer cakes which is another one of her amazing talents. So there I was alone for the first time as a DJ. If I had focused on everything that could go wrong and how much I still have to learn that evening would have been a disaster, but I decided to focus on what I did have and what was working for me. The owner of the bar is also a DJ and could help if I needed. My lady was only a phone call away. The people that attend our shows are very understanding if I were to make a mistake.

When I tell people about looking at what is working instead of what is not I hear a lot of things about living in a fantasy world, or not admitting things are wrong. That is not at all what this is about. It is important to realize what is not working so you can be on the lookout for a solution. Just don’t live there. Once we know what is not right we can begin to work on making it right and begin to look for what is working. We do not have to focus on how terrible things are and what we lack, when all of us, no matter what our situation is, has so much. So is this a fantasy world? No. There is nothing less true about what is working than what is not.

This has more to do with feeling. Seeing what is both bad and good in any situation and choosing to focus on the good not only helps you feel better and enjoy your life more, but also helps you see solutions better and accomplish more. Why? Let me ask you when are you more productive when you are happy or when you are sad?

Here are two examples to prove this theory and an experiment you can try to prove this to yourself. Recently I dislocated my shoulder. I had to miss a few days of work. My job gave me a lot of grief. I have to ask for help doing the most basic activities. If I focus on this, which does happen on occasion, I feel frustrated. I really start to dislike both my job and my boss who has been not very understanding. In that same breath, that feeling has me focused on completing my schooling and moving forward with that. It has me realizing how many great people around me who are willing to help me with all of my needs. Both of those are equally real. Looking at my current situation either way would be true, but one feels a hell of a lot better. That is a big difference between living a life that feels great and one that feels terrible.

Ok, one more example and you can try this yourself with your current situation. Look around and find everything about your situation that sucks. I am writing to you from Starbucks. The door keeps opening because people are coming in and out. It is loud and a bit hard to concentrate. The coffee is rather pricy. They are a corporate giant that can put some small coffee shops out of business. These are all true. If I were to focus on this I would be having a rather uninspired time here. Ok, now look at your situation and find everything good about it. In my case, they have free internet I can use without having to pay for it. The have a reward program where every 12th drink is free. With my reward card I can get a refill on my high quality coffee for less than a dollar. The people who work here including my friend Kenny are both helpful and amazing. They are a corporate giant allowing them to offer these things at many locations which are always close to where I am.

Both of those views are true. One feels good and helps me enjoy life, the other does not. Try it yourself in your current situation.

ALL ABOUT FOCUS

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Let’s talk about what I consider one of the greatest skills one can master and that is focus. I used to give a passing fancy to the subject of focus but recent events and conversations with friends has changed the importance of focus. When I started thinking of it and reflecting on my past it became clear how much of a role focus played.

Have you ever felt like you could have 48 hours in a day and still not get everything you need done? I am sure we all have. One major reason we seem to resemble the hamster in a wheel just running in place and not going anywhere is our focus, or should I say lack of focus. You are starting to clean the house, but then you think of something you wanted to check on Facebook. An hour and several videos about your friend’s pets you realize pretty soon you have to start dinner. You start making dinner and a friend sends you a text about going to lunch. You tell her about how you spent all day trying to clean the house and didn’t get anywhere. 12 messages back and forth and dinner is on pace to be served at midnight.

We all have days like this. Myself included. We have all had the opposite days though, haven’t we? You know when we get lost planting the garden and are suddenly interrupted and look up and have all the rows planted. How does this happen? Focus. When we are focused on the end goal and keep that in front of us our actions become more focused. So how do we stay focused on committed to our goal? I have found something that works for me. Two things really. First, whether it is cleaning the house or getting in shape, create a strong ‘Why’ this will be discussed in greater detail in my next book, but here is the nuts and bolts. WRITE DOWN both what you will gain by doing what you are striving for, and what you will lose by not doing it. I know what you are thinking “So you are giving me even more to do, that is not going to help” Well taking five minutes to do this step will save you stress and grief going forward. I capitalized the first part of that statement because writing it down, especially when it comes to a goal that needs to maintain focus on for long periods of time it is essential to not only keep your goal in front of you but the reasons you need to get it done. Then when your cell phone starts talking to you send it right to voicemail. As Eric Thomas one of my favorite motivational speakers says “most of us would be more successful if we gave up our phone” So keep your goals and reasons in front of you. do this for a week and see what happens. There is one more thing you can do that I learned from major league athletes.

If I were to ask you, “who is the greatest of all time?” A lot of us, especially those of us who follow sports think of Muhammad Ali. Why would we think that? Because he told everybody. More importantly he told himself. That is what he focused on, being the greatest of all time. That is what we all need to do. We need to tell each other and ourselves that we are going to accomplish our goals. Les Brown, another one of my favorite speakers tells us to let ourselves “you got the right stuff” Put that on the mirror. There will be more about becoming the legends we were born to be. For now, focus on what you have to accomplish and why and enjoy the ease in which it seems to happen.

I NEED YOUR HELP!!!

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Would you like to play a part in changing the world? What if I told you that to do so would take no more than a click of the mouse? In doing so you will slowly begin to transform our world into one with more joy and peace?

With very little effort you could affect people’s lives across your town and across the world? With actions that take you only a few seconds, you could help save the life of someone suffering from depression or who may feel lost and alone.

Don’t think you can afford to help? This world-changing, life-saving action will not cost you anything other than a few seconds of your time. With those few seconds you can help heal relationships that are faltering, help inspire young people who may have lost their way, or remind our elders how important they are.

What can do all this? The very site you are reading right now! On it you will find some of the best information from leaders in every field, along with inspirational quotes, suggested reads and life-changing strategies. Still, we need help spreading the word about this website and all of its free positive information.

What can to do? Simply ‘share’ this post on your Facebook page, LinkedIn page, twitter feed, or feel free to create your own post about http://www.secret2anamazinglife.com if you would like i will even be happy to send to business cards you can pass out to people you think would enjoy or benefit from the inspirational and motivational information shared here. From Azerbaijan and Brazil to New Zealand and Zimbabwe i will gladly send them anywhere! Please feel free to comment here or send me a personal message. Do not wait, you never know when someone needs you to make their day, or even save their life. Alone we cannot do much, but together we can change the world.

From the bottom of my heart, and on behalf of all the lives we will touch, thank you

THE SECRET TO WINNING EVERYDAY

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I am always on the lookout for secrets to building an amazing life, thus the name of this blog. So i study some of the greatest achievers of all time. Learn what they did. How did they accomplish their dreams. One such man was John wooden. Men’s basketball coach at ucla. Coach wooden won 10 ncaa championships, including an unheard of 6 on a row! How did he do it? In college you have a whole new team every 4 years. So how did he consistently get his players to win? The answer may surprise you. He never talked about winning to his players. At least not in terms of the score.  This is what he told them, if you give your all on that court and still are outscored by a more talented team you won. If you do not give your all but still beat an inferior team, you did not win.
Coach wooden understood winning is an inside job. Ask yourself are you giving your best? Whether it is at your job, as a parent, or as a spouse or even a friend. If you give your best and things don’t work out you are still a winner. If you are not giving your best and things are still going ok you at not a winner. So how does this thinking affect your life? If John Wooden’s teams are any indication, focusing on effort instead of score will bring you more victories

LIVE ON PURPOSE

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Here is your Friday post and yes it will come with some weekend homework. Do you ever feel like something is missing in your life? Do you ever get frustrated life seems to be passing you by? Do you ever get the feeling it all amounts to nothing?
I used to feel that way quite often. Seems like you are working just to survive. I say used to because one of the secrets to the amazing life cures all of these feelings. What is that? Purpose! You need to find a bigger purpose in life than just working to pay the bills. Being a part of a purpose bigger than yourself gives you an opportunity to make a difference.  To have a sense of meaning and fulfillment.  Now I am not saying you need to quit your job and join the peace Corp, but think of what really gets your blood pumping. Is it painting? Environmental issues? Feeding the poor? Maybe you’ve always wanted to write a book. Whatever that purpose is begin to pursue it. Not only will you find life becomes sweeter, but oftentimes you may find a whole new life waiting for you.
So this weekend your homework is two fold. First, find your purpose. Find what speaks to your heart, your passion, your bliss. Then, find a way, even part time, that you can pursue that. Your life will never be the same.