Tag: mindset

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 14 – SIGHT

Today’s gratitude post was one that made me stop and think. It is a powerful one at that. We have many sights that we view daily. How often do we stop and appreciate them? There are certainly ones that we lament about. Take my current example. I am sitting in a Starbucks right next to my day job writing this blog. Outside it is snowing like crazy. It is  a little more than a week away from the first day of spring and we should be having temperatures more closer to that season. The trees still look dead and it is rather gloomy. Those things stand out to me. Can you guess how focusing on them has me feeling? I can tell you that it is less than inspiring.

When I first read that today we would be talking about what sights we were grateful for, I must confess to having a hard time with this. That will tell you what a great opportunity this is. Apparently, I do not spend enough time focusing on all of the good things that I lay my eyes on in a day. Take the picture above. It is my current situation. I have a laptop to write on, access to the internet to publish it so I can chat with all of the wonderful members of this community around the globe. Not to mention the delicious hot cup of coffee just waiting for me to take a sip! There are a few sights that many of us take for granted that instead we should be using as a moment of gratitude every day! Let us take a look at a few of those.

The sight I am always most grateful for is this beautiful lady right here. My love, Margie. Not only is she lovely, she loves me! Her smile, especially if I have anything to do with it, is the most beautiful sight to me. It means that I am living up to my standard of being a good man and taking care of my lady. How about the sight of your front door? When you come home do you think about everything that is wrong with your house or are you grateful that you have a roof over your head? The amount of homeless people is not only heartbreaking, but is growing. In an age where the cost of living keeps increasing, having a place to come home to is definitely something to be grateful for. How about the dinner or breakfast you are about to eat? How many people go hungry? Sure it might not be the dish that you want, but you can afford something. These things you might be grateful for but how often do you express that gratitude? Even just to yourself? We are all guilty of taking it a little bit for granted.

When we stop to express gratitude for things like a loving spouse, a place to come home to and food to keep us going we feel more abundant and full of good fortune. It is my belief that something more happens. I believe that being grateful for that spouse will help increase the love between you two. I believe that being grateful to have a place to come home to will make it feel more peaceful, even if it is a little chaotic. I believe having gratitude for whatever meal you are about to eat will make it taste just that little bit better. Do not take my word for it. Try expressing, and feeling, gratitude for these things in your own life. Before you walk in the door at the end of a hard day, say, “I sure am grateful to have someplace to come home to.” When you see your spouse say to yourself, or to them, “I am really grateful for you even if we occasionally drive each other crazy.” Pause before that first bite and express gratitude for being able to enjoy a meal when many do not have that pleasure. Try doing this for a week and see how it feels.

YOU HAVE TO REMIND YOURSELF.

This is a very important point to ponder.  It can be so easy to ride the waves of negative emotions, but that just leads to am ocean of despair and depression. That is not to say you should not validate your emotions. Like the quote above says, “feel your feelings” To that i would add to look for the lessons and what you can learn from them. Then, take a walk outside. You will be greeted with all kinds of beautiful reminders.

A change in mindset is required. The payoff is even with all of the challenges, you will see, and more importantly feel, life is a miracle instead of a job. Walking in nature helps this. You see the beauty in the trees, the birds and other animals we share this planet with. I love seeing elderly couples out waking together. It not only gives you hope of lasting love, but let’s you know it is never too late to fall in love.

Miracles surround us everyday. Granted it can be hard to see them when we find ourselves down and out emotionally. That is when it is the most important to do. One way to accomplish this is to find as many things to be grateful for as you walk. It could be the fact that you can walk. Maybe not as well as you used to, but you still can. How about the fact we now have sidewalks and stop lights? Quite different in the 1800’s. Most parks have rest rooms available. If not, there are usually businesses in near proximity.

The world is full of miracles. Use the power of gratitude to unlock them. When you are feeling down, or even if you are not, take time to walk about, look up and notice them all.

THEY ARE ALL TEACHERS

It can be hard to deal with some challenging people. Maybe they are always negative and complaining. Maybe they are impatient or judgemental? One way to look at the situation is ask yourself, “What can this person teach me?” These answers can range from ‘how to be patient’ to ‘what not to be like as a human’. Either way, every negative person in our life brings us a gift in the form of a teaching. We should not miss the gift just because we do not like the wrapping paper.

We will end this on a positive note. Think about how grateful you are for the people who bring light and medicine to your life. This can be someone who always listens. It can be someone who always brings a smile. There are people who just make us feel better by their presence.

Everyone is a teacher. Which kind are you?

LEARN TO FAIL PROPERLY

How many times do you have to try something before learning it? Two times? Three times? Thomas Edison failed more than 1000 times before inventing the electric light bulb. Can you imagine sticking with something that long? I am not sure that I would. The point of all of this is that the amount of times that you do not succeed at something in life will always outnumber the times that you do succeed. In other words, you will fail a lot more than you succeed. Knowing this, you would think that failure would be a well-studied subject. On the contrary. Most people do not like to think about failure, much less study it.

If failure is something we are going to experience often in our life, should we not spend some time learning how to do it properly? Many of you might be asking how can you ‘fail properly’? Don’t you just fail or succeed? The average person does, yes. If we are looking to create an amazing life, it involves learning to put everything that occurs in our life to work for us. This includes failure. How can we do that? The first step is changing our mindset around failure. We must see it for what it is – a learning experience. Your muscles do not grow in the gym without encountering resistance. The same is true for you as a person. You only grow when you encounter resistance. In fact, the bigger the resistance, the bigger you must grow to overcome it. Just as the heavier weight in the gym requires more muscle growth. The photo above may seem cliche, but it is 100% true. Failure is a ‘first attempt at learning’. You do not learn much if you succeed at things the first time. It also would lead to a boring life eventually.

The second step to making failure work for us is learning to mine it. Yes, it is time to imagine ourselves as miners and see what we can get out of failure. The obvious may be the lessons and knowledge. If you have ever tried to put out a grease fire with water, you will soon learn, in spectacular fashion, that is the exact opposite thing you should do. It is a failure in the moment, but you will never put water on a grease fire again. You gained that knowledge. How about trusting someone with a secret only to discover they told everyone they know? Failed in that judge of character, but learned they cannot be trusted with confidential information. In addition, if there is something you want to get out, perhaps this was the person to tell. In each case you walked away with more knowledge than you went in with.

Another thing we gain from failure is resilience. If we always succeeded, how tough would we be when faced with a challenge? Not very. Failure teaches us perseverance, patience, and mental and emotional fortitude. These are lessons that you cannot learn with success. Therefore, failure is actually something we can be grateful for. It gives us a kind of strength that success never could. You owe it to yourself to learn how to fail properly. We are all going to do it in life. We should learn to do it in a way that will give us an amazing life!

WEEKEND PONDERING…

This quote from Epictetus really makes it simple. For those of you who do not know, Epictetus was a slave before becoming a philosopher. That is certainly an auspicious start of there ever was one.

Picturing who you want to be is something we should do daily. Keep focused on the individual we wish to see looking back at us in the mirror. Myself, I wish to be staring back at a best-selling author who is changing people’s lives for the better and leaving the world a better place.

Once we get clear on exactly who we wish to be, the next step is thinking about what it will take to get there. Even if we do not know the exact steps to get there, we can focus on the traits this person would have. A best-selling author would write every day. They would focus on developing their craft and vocabulary. This is why, for the last 1300 days, you have seen a blog from me.

This weekend take some time to get clear about the kind of person you wish to be. This is not only professional, but personal as well. Do you wish to be more positive? More disciplined? Then decide what you have to do to get there. It would help to write it down and check in with yourself every morning. Maybe while looking in that mirror? Before long the person starting back at you will be the person you want to be!

THE PAIN IS NOTHING COMPARED TO JOY 😊

Ah good ol’ Charlie Dickens! He has a good one here. Especially during the holidays. We see and connect with people we may otherwise not. In what seems like a flash, the holidays are over and everyone is lost in their life obligations. It is a bittersweet affair.

What Charlie reminds us of, is that reconnecting can be a joy that makes the  pain of parting a little bit easier to take. This is something I go through every morning. Leaving my hot lady and warm bed at 4am is quite a struggle. Soon, I hope to be a best-selling author and not have to deal with this. For the time being, leaving is required to pay the bills.

It seems the more fun we have, the harder it is to leave. Instead of focusing on how much I would love to stay home, I focus on how excited I am to return. In about a month we will be traveling to sunny Jamaica. I’m sure we won’t want to leave as we always make new friends and have a lot of fun. We must look forward to our next visit. Whenever that may be.

In your life, there will be parting that breaks the heart. Instead focus on the excitement of the next reunion. It will make life that much sweeter!

IT IS HUMP DAY. KEEP WORKING!

We work so hard on our goals. We work hard on our health. If we are smart, we work very hard on our relationships. Still, there is one thing that we often skip working on. The irony is that by working on improving this one thing, we will improve on everything else in our life.

That one thing is ourselves! When was the last time you sat down and thought of ways you could improve? Better yet, when was the last time you came up with a concrete plan to do so? With New Years right around the corner, let’s do more than come up with random wishes to improve our life. Let us come up with a measurable plan to do so. It will not only improve ourselves, it will improve our life!

THE BEST DIET FOR SUCCESS IS EATING ELEPHANT 🐘

Everyone is looking for the next fad diet. Whether that is for more energy, more muscle or less weight. Here is a diet for more success! That’s right. If you want to get ahead at work, in your health or even in your relationships – start eating elephants!

Of course we are not advocating eating actual elephants. I’m rather fond of the big guys. No, it is a reference, as you see in the first picture, to tackling a big problem. Many of us, myself included, will approach a big goal or challenge and become overwhelmed.

This could be getting in shape, getting out of debt, cleaning up your diet, or even cleaning up the house. We see eight million things we have to do and can’t imagine getting them all done. Instead, we should focus on getting one of them done. You couldn’t eat an entire meal at once, nor can you do much of anything all at once.

Our good friends in the wonderful country of Jamaica are struggling to repair the damage brought by hurricane Melissa. The damage can seem overwhelming. I can only imagine what they are facing. The story is the same. The way to build back is clearing one tree at a time. Helping one family at a time and taking one day at a time.

Even if all you are dealing with is a house that looks like it was hit by a hurricane, it is still one step at a time. You got this!

BE UNSTOPPABLE THIS MONDAY!

Do not let the fact that it is Monday stop, or even intimate you. Discover what is holding you back from reaching your goals. Make that your enemy. Remember to focus on what you can control. Placing the blame on outside people and circumstances only puts you under their control and makes you weak.

The truth is most of the time it is not a lack of resources that stop you, but a lack of resourcefulness. Use those people and circumstances for motivation, not for excuses. Do not let them stop you. Find what you can do inside of you to improve your situation and move closer to your goals. You’ve got this!

WHY “YOU’VE CHANGED” CAN BE A GREAT THING TO HEAR

Has anyone ever told you, “You have changed.” Usually, it is not a good thing. They are attempting to bring to our attention that a behavior or attitude that we used to have is changed. That makes most people uncomfortable. This holds true if our new behavior or mindset is contrary to the one they knew us to have. Perhaps you used to be the life of the party. You could drink a few beers, slam a few shots and would just take the next day off of work. Now, you drink water, are focused on your fitness and show up to work on time. If the person hung around with you before, it might make them uncomfortable to deal with the change. This is even more true if they have stayed the same.

Many people fear being left behind by friends who evolve. In some cases this fear is legitimate. If you are looking to change a behavior, it is quite helpful to no longer associate with individuals who engage in that behavior you are looking to leave behind. If you were formally close to that individual, it can be a little painful for that to happen. If you are the person worrying about being left behind, it can not only be painful, but scary as well. That is why they will tell you that you have changed with an attitude of making you feel as though you are not being authentic to yourself. Part of this is them transferring their fear and disappointment in their own progress on you.

A greater reason for people using the phrase, “You’ve changed.” is our inability to communicate our feelings. There really should be a class taught to us when we are young on how to properly say the often difficult things that we feel. Just yesterday I heard it said that “They tell you that you have changed because they do not know how to say you have grown.” That is something we must understand, growth takes change. If we stay the same we can stay stagnate. The picture above captures it beautifully. To become a butterfly, we cannot remain a caterpillar. Growth can be painful and many may accuse us of changing who we are, but just remember that is because they do not know how to tell us that we have grown.