This should be a lesson we learn as we make our way into adulthood. Sadly, that is not the case. When we are in school, if someone calls us a name we would call them one. Often, we try to think of a more insulting name to use. At the end of the day, both of us are insulted and walk away feeling a little bit less about ourselves. It is a complete waste of both parties energies. Watching the world of politics, it is clear several adults have never grown out of this phase.
Rising above the petty actions of our enemies is seldom, if ever, a fulfilling action at the time. What is great is how you feel upon reflection of the event going forward. “Yes, I was the bigger person.” is an answer that will last longer than any name you are called. If we lower ourselves to the actions of our enemies, we become no better than they.
Old Blue Eyes has some amazing song lyrics, but none are as good as this quote. While people are busy coming up with a bigger insult, we should be busy on improving ourselves and our lives. While they are spending their energy on actions to belittle or attack us, we can be working on bettering our lot in life. Then, at the end of the day they will be no further ahead, well we will be more successful. In fact, they will be further behind. Why? They have squandered the most valuable resource that we have – time. They have spent theirs concerned with our life instead of improving their own. Even if they succeed at temporarily derailing our life, how has it helped theirs? It hasn’t.
Take the above advice from Mark and Frankie. Do not be like your enemy. Instead, focus on creating your own success.
What a perfect post for a Monday! While it may be true that Marcus Aurelius was not privy to some of the wicked substances we have today, he is certainly on to something here. All of us, myself included, are guilty of becoming slaves to our comfort. There are things we know we should do, but we do not because they cause us some discomfort. Yes, we should meal prep, but that takes time and effort. We worked all day and it would be far easier to throw in a pizza. We know we should work out, but eating that pizza and watching a little television certainly sounds a lot more comfortable.
Once in a while it can certainly be to our benefit to take a little take to ourselves. Here is the tricky bit, it can lead to quite a bit of time. I find this true with the gym in my own life. I love going to the gym. It helps me a great deal with stress more than anything. I know after a great workout, I will not only be less stressed, but I will have more energy in the back end. I usually go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week. There are times when something crops up that I miss a day. Do you know what seems to happen after that? Something else crops up the next day…and the day after that. Before long, it has been a week or two and I haven’t returned to the gym. Comfort becomes…well…too comfortable. I know that I will feel better if I go, but my mind and body have become used to the sloth it is engaged in.
The ironic part about comfort, is that it slowly ruins our life. It is in discomfort that growth occurs. Think of any area that you wish to improve in your life. It will take some discomfort and effort. Comfort can become a habit…a dangerously destructive habit. Do not become addicted to comfort. Become addicted to success and improving yourself.
This quote is so true. The circumstances we are born in are out of our control. What we do with them, that is entirely within our control. We all know, or have read about people seemingly born into the worst situations that rise up to become leaders and do great things. We have also heard tales of those born with everything that throw their lives all away.
How about you? What are you going to do with your life? Are you going to let those challenges hold you back, or are you going to use them as stepping stones to rise to greater heights? Are you going to complain about what is wrong or use it to prove what people can overcome? The choice is up to you.
I apologize in advance for two heavy posts in a row. Part of the reason we, at Secret2anamazinglife.com, exist is to give you new ways of thinking. Marcus Aurelius, whom we get the quote above from, has given us a lot of things to ponder. If you have read my book, The Beat Goes On, you will know how this quote was really brought home to me. If you have not read that amazing book, what are you waiting for? In all seriousness, I was faced with the possibility, and it turned out probability, that I would die while undergoing open-heart surgery.
When I share that story, people often compliment me on my perspective of the whole event. I hear things like, “I wonder if I would be the same way if I was faced with that situation?” Here is a fact to consider, you are facing that situation. Sure, nobody may be coming to saw your chest in half and slice and dice your heart, but we never know what is around the corner. When you were born, the hourglass was tipped over and the sand began to run out. Here is the tricky bit, we never know how much sand is on top.
While the above may sound a bit doom and gloom, it really isn’t. Every morning we put our feet on the floor, the sand is running from top to bottom. When we do things like assuming people know how we feel, or how much they mean to us, we could be doing them a great disservice. Marcus Aurelius was quite correct when he said, “You could die right now.” Not a very cheery outlook, but that does not make it any less true. In my case, I had an aneurism, which had it exploded, the game would have been over. I honestly had no symptoms. If it were not for a slightly related item, I would have never know until I fell over dead.
How much sand is in the top of your hourglass? When are you going to slip into the great beyond? How is it going to happen? If you answered anything but “I don’t know.” to these questions, you have a power unknown to most humans. Here is another thing to consider, the same holds true for everyone else you know. One day they could be here, the next they could be gone. Again, kind of morbid sounding, but true. This is why we should be living our life to the fullest each and every day. Do not be afraid to ask the deep questions. Do not be afraid to make yourself vulnerable and share those feelings. What if it was your last chance to do so? At one point, it will be.
It is my suggestion to take the quote above and make it a guide for the rest of your life. When I was looking at what could possibly be my end, I discovered what I thought was important was not at all what was in my heart. It is not about obtaining a certain level of success. It is certainly not about reaching a certain monetary or material level. I can only share what was important to me at that moment. When I realized I may only have a few months to live, it was about leaving people with the knowledge of how important and beautiful they were. This was true especially for my lovely lady and those closest to me. It was also true for all of you reading these posts. I wanted the world to know that each one of us has a gift and something beautiful worth sharing. Something that will be lost when we are gone. My focus was on creating lasting memories. Remember your last breath may be your next one, what will it be used to say? When you find yourself a little too focused on the material things that the world wants you to believe is important, think of this quote from Denzel Washington.
It is that time of year that students are heading back to school. This could be high school, college or any other school. I hear a lot of them praying for graduation and for “It to be all over.” What many of them fail to realize, is that if we are to be successful it is never over. That is, if we wish to rise above the hoards of average individuals and live an amazing life, learning never stops. In fact, when we do graduate it is called commencement. That word, by its very definition, means “a beginning or start”.
After two decades (wow that sounds like a long time), 2060 blog posts and 3 published books, I consider myself to be a very avid student of self-improvement. Not only are there so much material to consume, there are so many teachers to learn from. When I say so many teachers, I mean they are everywhere! Not only formal teachers, like Nicci, the favorite art teacher of Margie and me, but informal teachers as well. We are actually all teachers. I learn a lot from my friend Kurt who is currently writing a great book I can’t wait to share with all of you. I learn from my friend Nick who is a great student of life himself. Even thousands of miles away, I learn from my friend Eduardo in Italy. He has such a unique and amazing way of interpreting what I write. There are even people who teach us through their mistakes and bad behavior. I can’t count the times I have witnessed someone treat an employee rudely and am reminded how important it is to show these people appreciation.
Even some of the more negative aspects of life can be great teachers. The news, seldom inspiring, will show us what is wrong in the world. This is a great teacher of what we need to do to change the world. Life’s challenges are great teachers. They allow us to learn new ways to develop strength and prepare for things we never knew we had to prepare for! Our mistakes, as painful as they can be at times, are great teachers. They show us areas in our life that we may need to change and improve in. Those people who say and do things that anger and hurt others and boldly proclaim, “That’s just who I am. I am not changing for anybody.” Those are people who are not developing and learning. I don’t think there is a decent person alive who really wants to hurt others. Maybe it involves communicating better. It could be fostering a better understanding between the two parties.
Remember the meaning of the word ‘commencement’ and that leaving school is just the beginning of our education. Look around at your life and notice and appreciate all of the teachers that you have.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 