Tag: marcus aurelius

WILL THEY STOP AT YOUR PORTRAIT?

There are a some people who call me a ‘motivational speaker’. Nice title. I hope that I do motivate some to take actions that will allow them to become the best version of themselves. I look at myself more as a coach, or even a servant. Using what I have learned, and continue to learn, to help others improve their life as I have.

If you met me recently, or at least in this stage of my life, you would hardly guess the person I used to be. There were many roles I filled. I was a bartender. I sang in a rock band. Perhaps it was being thrust into the limelight. It could have been the praise, earned or not, that was given me. At one point I could not have been further from being an enlightened person. I am not attempting to paint myself in a bad light here. What I am doing my best to convey is the fact that I know what it is like to live a life that is…shall we say ‘self-focused’.

It took many different tools, strategies and people to help to get me where I am now. That story could be an entire book by itself. Much of it is contained in my books that you can find by searching ‘Neil Panosian’ on Amazon. Being introduced to self-improvement world by accidentally purchasing an infomercial at 3a.m., to more recently falling in love with a lady who both keeps me guessing and keeps me in line, have all contributed to becoming a better version of myself.

Speaking of that amazing lady, she is behind a lot of my work. She authored the foreword to my second book. She also convinced me to start my YouTube channel. One of the first videos we did was about writing your own eulogy. The idea came to me after my cousin was killed by a drunk driver. You can even hear the emotion in my voice while we are filming the video. It was filmed at a cemetery. The idea was to write your own eulogy. This is helpful in so many ways! I break in down in detail in my second book, Living the Dream. The main benefit is to decide what you want your legacy to be. The side-effect of that is that you can tell if the actions you are taking right now are taking you in that direction or away from it. After that video, and some more intense life-altering events, I took a hard look in the mirror. I was not thrilled with what I saw.

Determined to become a man I could be proud of, I began to change many things in my life. With the support of my lovely lady and other friends and family, you have the man behind the keyboard today. Am I where I want to be? Not at all, but at least I know where I want to go and take actions to get there. You can do the same. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it will not happen unless you begin! After a brief flirtation with death, the level of urgency to become that man whose portrait you will stop at became more urgent. Death is certain, but the hour uncertain they say. None of us know how much time we have to craft our legacy. All that I can promise you is that it is less time than you had when you started to read this. Take action now! Those in your life deserve it. Your future deserves it. Your legacy deserves it.

A NEW WAY TO LOOK AT IT

Discipline is one of the words that I think we are taught incorrectly. When we are growing up Discipline is taught as something that happens to us of we misbehave. We get disciplined. At best it is used to convince us that we need to do things we might not want to do such as study or clean our room.

What we seldom, if ever, are told is that discipline leads to freedom. Discipline is the key to our success. When we have goals and things we want to accomplish in life, it is discipline that is the key. Here is the crazy part. As we grow older we think there is no punishment if we are not disciplined.

You might think as an adult you are free to act as you see fit. That is true to some extent. What you are not free from is the consequences of those actions. When you cease to remain disciplined as an adult, it is you who suffers. It is you who will not reach the goal you are working towards. It is true your family and friends may suffer as a result. Lack of discipline, however, is really a betrayal of yourself.

DO NOT LET THE FUTURE DISTURB YOU

The future. It can be a scary prospect. It can be a difficult project you have coming up. Maybe you have a presentation to give at work you are nervous about? There are difficult conversations we must have. To the basic Monday morning dread some of us feel.

There are 2 ways of looking at this dread, in my opinion. The first is that the future will come whether we want it to our not. No amount of dread or feeling nervous will change that. In fact, the more we get worked up about it, the more we are extending the pain of the event. It will still come, and may very well be difficult. Why add to that by sacrificing the time leading up to it?

The second, and perhaps more productive, way of looking at this is to use it as motivation. If you are nervous to give a talk at work, use that energy to be as prepared as possible. Monday morning dread? Use that feeling to find ways to bring as much joy as your can to your morning. That could involve buying a special coffee to enjoy on the way to work to five minutes of gratitude focus first thing in the morning.

As Marcus Aurelius said above, we will meet the future with the same weapons of reason we have today. If that thought is not reassuring, then work to improve your weapons of reason. Otherwise, do your best to relax and enjoy and be grateful for the present.

MOST VALUABLE SKILL YOU CAN BUILD

I am not sure this is the most valuable skill to learn, but it does rank up there. Resilience is a vital skill that not only helps us survive, but thrive. It is a skill that not only has to be developed, but maintained. Learning that we have control over our inner environment is a remarkable change in mindset. Yes, challenges can knock us down. It is learning not to stay down that makes all of the differences. Discovering ways to turn negative experiences into motivating or productive moments is the key to success.

Listening to the words of our friendly Roman emperor above, we can see how this skill can be developed. Many of us busy ourselves trying to control a world that is outside of our…well…control. We cannot control the environment, the thoughts and actions of others or a million other variables. What we have complete control over is our interpretation of them. Will we use them as an excuse not to push forward or will we look for a way to put them to work for us? A great first step is learning how to put challenges behind us quickly. We can them revisit them for the lesson when the emotional sting is not that strong.

In what way do you develop the skill of being resilient? Let us share all of our tools and strategies so that we may learn from each other. When you see someone else who is struggling to develop this skill, offer your encouragement. While we are learning to believe in ourselves, the belief of others can go a long way.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?

This great stoic quote speaks to a power many of us leave to chance. When was the last time you paid attention to your thoughts? Many people feel their thoughts are something that are thrust upon them. That they come out of nowhere.

Let us take it a step further. When was the last time you decided what you were going to think about? Yes, you really can do this. It can be very beneficial to set aside at the very least, 5 to 10 minutes a day to do some focused thinking. It can be thinking about what you are grateful for. This could change your life faster than you can imagine. It could be thinking about how it will feel when a goal is reached or accomplished.

We think an average of 60,000 thoughts a day. According to research 80% of that is negative. Further research indicates that 95% of our thoughts are repetitive! Think about that. We are thinking 95% of the same things, 80% of which are negative, and wondering why our life is not improving or changing.

By not utilizing focused thinking, I feel we are missing a great opportunity. Setting aside 5 minutes a day, which is less than .5% of your day, can make a huge difference. What if you used those minutes as a chance to practice some positive self-talk? How about picking someone we love and spending 5 minutes thinking about how we can improve our relationship with them? The difference could be life-changing!

Let me know what you will spend your 5 minutes thinking about.

REALIZE YOUR POWER!

Last post we spoke of what to do when feeling overwhelmed by the seemingly hopeless oppression of the masses by a few wealthy politicians. The answer was to remember you, as a small axe, can still fall the big tree of corruption. I failed to mention that this does not only go for politics. No, any large challenge in life that you face can be approached with the same mentality. One of the greatest challenges to adopting this mindset is the constant focus on the world outside of us. How can we change the hearts and minds of our leaders to care about the people without money lining their pockets? How can we only elect people who have the skills to lead us to a world of kindness and compassion?

The short, and somewhat uninspiring answer, is that we cannot. We do not have control over others, nor outside events. When we spend all of our energy focused on changing the current of the river, we get swept away in its current. That is not to say that we should shrug our shoulders and wait for life to take care of itself. What we should do is to focus on where our power really lies – in our own mind. Wish your spouse was more romantic? You can spend hours, days and years telling them that. Unless that partner is willing to change, it will not happen. It would be best to take matters into our own hand and use the power of our own mind. This could involve seeing the different ways in which our partner expresses romance that we may not see. It could be working on creating an atmosphere where being more romantic is both desired and rewarded.

We have power over our minds, not outside events. When we focus our energy on this, we realize that we can use the power of our minds to affect the outside events around us. We also come to the realization, if we haven’t already, that trying to control others and the world around us leads to frustration and resentment. Even if we manage to obtain the control in the short-term, it is fleeting and impossible to hold onto. Our real strength is in our ability to change our perception and meaning towards life. To change our approach. To understand our role in the situations that frustrate us, and if they are beyond repair, to have the moral strength to leave those situations. Use your power and focus your energy on where it will best serve you and the process of change.

ARE YOU STRONG ENOUGH?

Let us talk about what real strength is. Being strong is not being part of the group currently in power. Being strong is not being the loudest or having your opinion be accepted by the most people. No that is not being strong. That is actually rather easy. It is easy to repeat the talking points of the the group, be that political religious or any other nature. What takes strength is being able to speak truth, kindness and compassion.

If you really want to be strong, remain calm and kind when faced with opposition. When you see those you disagree with spreading lies, to be able to remain steadfast in your kindness and commitment to truth, that takes strength. When someone attacks you personally, can you have the strength to resist the urge to retaliate? Retaliation is not strength. It is weakness. It is giving into base emotions such as hurt and anger. It will not improve your life or the situation. Often, it makes the point of the opposition look valid.

Next time you are tempted to say something that speaks division and hatred, ask yourself, “Am I not strong enough to rise above this?” Be a person of value. Be someone who speaks of growth and becoming the best version of themselves and not what is wrong with your neighbor. Be the best example to all of those who are watching you. That is true strength.

CHOOSE THE RIGHT OPTION

Many people are confused when I tell them I listen to motivational content almost daily. Sometimes on my morning commute. Sometimes at the gym or on a walk. Why would someone who has spent the last 20+ years providing such content listen and learn about it? Firstly, because I am a lifelong learner. There is always something new around each  corner. Only fools think they know everything.

Another reason is hinted at the quote above. So many of us check social media first thing in the morning. A lot of us listen to the news on the way to work. This can be poisoning our minds before the day even begins. Could you surround yourself with negativity and still have a positive life? I suppose you could, but it would be a lot less likely and a lot more difficult.

Putting good stuff into a body, brain and spirit will increase the likelihood that good stuff will come out! Want an even more compelling reason to surround yourself with positive things? It makes having a great life that much easier! Having a daily motivational calendar makes it far more likely you will come across something to inspire you than hoping your coworkers will quote Marcus Aurelius.

How do you get good stuff in? What actions do you take to surround yourself with positive influences? Subscribing to this blog is one way to introduce positivity into your life daily. What are some other actions you could take?

IT IS NOT THE STRONG WHO SURVIVE 💪

There are so many people who are afraid of change. While it is true that change can be a little unsettling, do you know what is worse? Not changing. No growth. Stagnation. Imagine living a life like the movie Groundhog Day. How long before you slip from frustration into insanity. To become wealthier we must change. To become happier and healthier we must change. Even what seems like negative changes in these arenas can be the catalyst to help us make positive changes. A job loss can force us to polish our skills and pursue a career that is more personally satisfying. Yes, it may be lean for a while there, but in the end we will end up with a more fulfilled and happy life. It is often after experiencing the greatest health challenges that people finally adopt that healthy lifestyle they ‘never got around to’. It is as if the universe is asking us, “Can you hear me now?” Even significant moments of emotional sadness or loss can remind us of blessings in our life that we formerly took for granted.

Another point that this brings up is the meaning we give change. Like the examples listed above, we have the opportunity to make any change a positive one. We could stop and look at a job loss, the end of a relationship or passing of a loved one and think how terrible this change in our life is. Those situations are not pleasant to be sure. Still, we have the chance to use these circumstances beyond our control to our advantage, or let them define us. The choice is ours.

Once again, Stoic philosophy helps us understand this. Our strength is not in controlling outside events, which we will never be able to fully do, but in controlling our reaction to them. That includes what meaning we assign to them. This job loss, does it mean I am destined to be poor or that the world is pushing me to do something more aligned with my sense of purpose? Before you say that this is a ‘glass half full’ argument, let me tell you it might be. Just as in the case of a glass that can either be viewed as half empty or half full, change in our life can be viewed as holding us back or pushing us forward. Notice the facts have not changed. Our belief system has.

The benefit of adopting a more empowering belief system is a life that is less stressful and more fulfilling. If we believe change is destined to hold us back we will feel one way and make certain decisions and take certain actions. If we believe that change is pushing us in a new direction and will ultimately take us somewhere better we will certainly feel differently and make different decisions and take different actions. This will not only have us feeling happier and more at peace as we go through life, but will also end up with a different reality.

Life will go a lot better for us if we embrace change and take advantage of the power we have over it. Note these words from Darwin and Marcus Aurelius. Use them to remind you that change can be a catalyst to benefit our lives. It is up to us and our mindset.

LET THIS FACT GUIDE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE 🦮

This may be my stoic way of thinking, but I find this to be a very powerful and motivational quote. Many people have told me it sounds morbid or fatalistic. Why? It is a fact. We never know exactly when our final day may come, but we know it is out there. It will never be a comfortable situation to be faced with, but wouldn’t you rather do so prepared? How can one prepare for the end of their life? By living each day to the fullest. This does not mean working yourself to the bone, or even not working at all and spending all day in leisure.

For me, if the end came tomorrow, I would want to know that I made the most out of each moment. How do we do that? The first part is the ability to be present. This is a skill that is all but gone from the world today. I recently saw a video where a monk was asked his secret for remaining joyful. His answer, in its simplicity, was yet profound. He said, “When I am at work, I work. When it is time to eat, I am eating. When it is time for sleep, I am sleeping.” He went on to explain much of the discord in life is that when people are at work, they are thinking about eating. When they are eating, they are wishing they were sleeping. When they finally get to bed at night, they are already worried about working the next day. How true is this? When we find our mind regretting the past, or worried about the future, we are doing the same thing. The past and future do not exist. If you dread and regret the past, use that emotion to drive you to do better in the present. If you are worried about some aspect of your future, use that emotion to plan and prepare better today. The present is the only time we have control over.

The end is always drawing closer. This is not meant to scare us, but to motivate us. Do what you can with what you got today. You never know what you will have tomorrow. Love with all you have today. That is one thing you will never regret. If it is true that we might die tomorrow, how are we living today? Ask yourself that question.