Here is a picture of the calendar that I have hanging at work. As you can see it adds a little splash of color to an otherwise dull space. There is much more to this story than meets the eye. The calendar in question was purchased for me by the love of my life. She bought it for me at a bird show at the Wisconsin State Fair. The profits went to support the animals in the show. They are presented by the Schlitz Audubon Nature Center. They have an array of products for sale, the profits going to support the animals that are found at their center.
Sure, a button would have been cool, maybe a t-shirt. Why did my lady choose a calendar? Besides the fact that I have no need for another t-shirt, no matter how cool, it is a gift that keeps on giving. Each month they feature a picture of an exciting bird of prey. In addition to some quick learning, I am reminded of the amazing show we were at, the fun we had and the fact that the lady in my life loves me enough to surprise me with this calendar.
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, and the fact that you should always be thinking about great gifts that help keep the love and passion in your relationship, a calendar is a rather cool gift. They have fancy day by day ones, you can even have personal ones made! The price point is not that much, but it serves as a reminder all year long. Already have a calendar? A daily journal could be fun. Anything that can be used daily, or at least on a regular basis makes a great gift to remind someone you care. This year, I have a calendar of tropical locations that I got while shopping with my lady. We are going to take a trip to the Bahamas this year and it will serve as a great reminder of that and other fun we have had, and will have. How about you? Is there an item you have that reinforces positive thoughts and memories?
This holiday season, the best gift you can give is to be the best gift! As we talked about last post, by expressing gratitude and genuine appreciation? Who would not want to hear why people think they are an awesome part of their life? The true gifts of the holiday are the times we share and the people we spend them with. Another great idea is to share happy memories you have while you are creating new ones. Maybe start a new enjoyable holiday tradition that will bring joy to all of those attending?
These are ways in which we can bring amazing gifts while being the best gift at the party. Make this holiday the best by giving others inner joy to carry with them not only during the holiday season, but all year long! This is what holidays should be all about. If you have any suggestions for adding joy and happiness to our holiday season, or fun holiday traditions you celebrate, please share them with us in the comments. In this way, you will be adding joy to those who read this blog in over 200 countries, celebrating a wide array of holidays. Here at secret2anamazinglife, we wish you and yours a safe, healthy and happy holiday season.
Tomorrow, a good portion of the earth’s population, as well as a good number of our readers, will be celebrating Christmas. Many will do it for religious reasons. Some, for more secular reasons. For many the holidays can be a difficult time and celebrating is the last thing they want to do. Much like anything in life, there are so many variables that it no one person feels the same about the holiday season. Today, we are going to look at a few tips that can make your holiday a lot more enjoyable. This holds true no matter what holiday you celebrate, or how and why you do so. Let us jump right in!
Just like the 14 different holidays that are celebrated this time of year, there are so many ways to celebrate them. Are you celebrating at home with your immediate family? Perhaps you are traveling to gather with a larger selection of family. Maybe you are having family travel to you. Perhaps you are college student celebrating with friends. Maybe you find yourself celebrating alone this year? Whatever the situation might be, and even if it is a different holiday you are celebrating, these tips will help you enjoy it more!
First tip, holiday stress – don’t do it. Easier said than done right? Trust me, my beautiful lady gets anxious if the toilet paper doesn’t match the napkins, or something like that. Sure, do what you can to make your guest have an enjoyable time, or to be an enjoyable guest, but don’t stress about it. What happens if the power goes out and you are unable to cook dinner? You light some candles, order a pizza and have a great funny story for the future. Just adapt and overcome. Nothing is as serious as we often view it. There was one holiday where one of my relatives walked right through someone’s screen door. They were horrified and thought they ruined the whole night. Now? We laugh about it and use it as an ice-breaker. Remember the point is to have fun, not to be perfect.
Gifts, another great source of stress. Have you ever found yourself in this situation? You don’t know what to get someone and decide on the Winnie-the-Pooh coffee mug. They didn’t know what to get you either and they decided on an engraved diamond necklace. Now you feel like a cheapskate and might have been better off buying nothing. How about the other way around? You spend the time, money and mental effort picking out the perfect gift. What do you receive from them? A stuffed poop emoji that squeaks. You are left wondering why you stressed at all and how that money could have went in your Fiji vacation fund. This is not at all what holidays should be like. It really is the thought that counts. I am guessing at some point, during some holiday, you will find yourself in one of the above situations. It happens. Shrug it off and move on. Do not stress. If someone judges you based on your gift, that is on them, not you.
Lastly, something that can both reduce stress and be the perfect gift! Maybe we should’ve started with this one? The perfect gift and something that can bring joy and reduce stress at the same time…gratitude! Expressing genuine gratitude to those around you and telling everyone what you appreciate about them can lighten the mood of any party. How great would you holiday be if several people come up and genuinely tell you why you, in their eyes, are totally awesome? Let us all give each other the gift of gratitude and encouragement this year. Follow these 3 tips and your holiday celebration will be a lot more enjoyable! If you have any holiday tips, feel free to share them in the comments below!
This post was inspired by a very special lady, who is celebrating a very special day today. Before we get to her and the reason we are celebrating today, let me clear a few things up first. There have been countless reality shows about love lately. Here is the crazy thing, none of them come close to the reality of what love truly is. Worse than that, they have started a very disturbing trend. People are confusing the entertainment they see as standards for what love should be. There are even news stories of regular working people refusing to get out of the car on dates because the restaurant they were taken to was not expensive enough. They film themselves sitting in the car acting like a four year old throwing a temper tantrum. They should be grateful they are being taken out for dinner.
Refusing to get out of the car on a date because you are not being taken to the same restaurant that Kim Kardashian was taken to, is like me refusing to go to a book signing because I am not being booked in the same hotel say a Stephen King or Bill Bryson would. They are authors worth millions of dollars. I am still waiting to be worth millions of dollars. Instead, I am grateful to be asked to appear at a signing. With that attitude, I have often been asked to return, as well as offered new opportunities. When you are grateful to be taken on a date, you are far more likely to be offered, and taken on, a second date. It may even be to a fancier and nicer place than a first date. You also give yourself the opportunity to appreciate love in its deepest sense. When you refuse to get out of the car because you are being taken to a restaurant that is not on a reality television show, you will not only not enjoy that date, I can almost assure that you will be asked on a second date. When you are in a relationship for material reasons is ceases to be love and becomes a transaction.
My love and I
True love, my friends, does not have to cost a fortune. What true love really costs is far different than what you see on television. The price for true love is attention. It is caring and focus. It is affection and understanding. True love can often cost you your patience, and if you are dating a future best-selling author, your last nerve. Above is a picture of myself with the love of my life. I followed the picture of Kim Kardashian with hers for two reasons. First, she is a big fan. Second, for my money she is far more beautiful and I consider myself lucky to have her. She knows the meaning of true love and how to express it.
She has been working hard these last couple weeks with her daughter. As a reward for all of this effort, they were featured in a news story. You can see the picture as it appeared in my news feed above. I will share the link to the story at the end of this post if you would like to read all about my amazing woman. Speaking of her, today is her birthday. I am looking forward to taking her out to a nice place she has been wanting to go for a long time. Hopefully, this birthday date and dinner will be amazing, but it will not be nearly as amazing as what she did for me the other night. It was a great demonstration of love.
I came home after a 9 hour workday. She informed me that we were going on a date. I was excited to see what she had planned. When I got home, I was shocked to find she had the bathtub filled with water scented with some of my favorite essential oils, and the the bathroom had a light that made the walls and ceiling look like the ocean. In addition, there was a nice scented candle lit. “Get in.” she urged. Then she added a very sweet, “You deserve it.” While I relaxed in this amazing atmosphere, she created a wonderfully tasty meal. I got out before it was ready. She had the bed made with my electric blanket turned on and warmed up for me. “Lay down and relax. You must be tired.” She offered. She was correct and I took her kind suggestion and made the most of her loving efforts. When I awoke, dinner was ready and we ate while watching a Christmas movie. There was even more amazing things that evening.
The funny thing? All of this was created with stuff we had at home. Did I feel cheated? Would I have rather went to an expensive steak house? Absolutely…not! First, if you ever had Margie’s cooking, you will know there is no place I would rather eat than home. Second, her effort is putting all of this together showed more love than purchasing any meal ever could. The thoughtfulness of knowing that I was sore and tired from a long work day and would really appreciate all of the relaxing items meant more than a fancy night out. It also made me feel more loved. True love is considering what your partner may be going through or need, and acting on that. True love is being there for someone.
I am so proud of this beautiful, sexy, amazing, loving woman. It is her birthday, but I am the one celebrating. Being able to love each other is one of the greatest gifts we give each other, not only today, but every day. In the past year, she has taken back control of her health and looks more youthful and beautiful than ever! It is as if she is aging in reverse. Knowing how to express love is a great gift that she has. Being able to appreciate the love that I give her, only has me wanting to give her more! Happy birthday my love. Thank you for showing me what true love is all about.
What a powerful thought for us courtesy of Anne Frank. In case you are ignorant to who Anne Frank was, she was a young Jewish girl who kept a diary while hiding in an attic from the Nazi invasion in Amsterdam. Her surviving diary gave us a great insight into what it was like during those dark times.
This particular thought is powerful because it is so true. We see people overcome with emotion at funerals. Flowers are everywhere. This is as it should be. Losing a person is the most difficult thing we go through in life. The worse emotion people experience at a funeral is seldom loss. No, worse is the emotion of regret. What we should have said, or the time we should have spent. Regret can haunt us for the rest of our lives. It can also serve as one of the best reminders and motivators to change our behavior in the future.
What should be just as, if not more, powerful is our gratitude for the people we have in our lives. Take one person that is really special in your life. Think about everything you are grateful for about that person. Do this for at the very least 30 minutes. How long do you think that list would be? Just in passing, as I write this, my list is quite long. When you focus solely on what you are grateful for about any special individual in your life, those feelings should begin to swell. When we realize how lucky we are to share life with these amazing souls, we would want to cover the room they are in with flowers!
Still not convinced? Try using the opposite end of the spectrum. Imagine everything you would lose and how much pain and lose you would feel should you lose this person tomorrow. Not very fun, I know. What it will do is help you appreciate the great gifts this person brings to your life. Combine them both and you will be surprised at how you are feeling. It may not make you want to buy them flowers, but it will overwhelm you with a feeling of gratitude for sharing life with them. When you are full of emotions such as this, can you imagine the impact it will have on your relationship with them?
Try doing this with a different person each week. You will see your relationships taken to an entirely different level. Don’t take my word for this. What takes us from the life we have to the life we love is action! Try this for yourself. Just a focused, uninterrupted 30 minutes of gratitude for one individual. Maybe do it for a week straight. They do not even have to know you are doing it. Watch what it does to your relationship with them. Not to ruin the secret, but there is an added benefit. You will be filled with more inner joy than you can imagine. Feeling gratitude is a great antidote to all of life’s trouble. The more we talk about this, the more I am excited to put this into action myself. How about you? Is there someone special in your life that you are extremely grateful for? Don’t you think they are worth 30 minutes a day of your time for a week? You owe it to them, and you owe it to yourself. Take your life, and your relationships, to the next level.
Here is a book I cannot recommend enough. Not only because it was written by a very good friend of mine, but because of what it can do for you, and even more, why it was written. You will not only enjoy reading the funny stories contained within, you will be learning as you do so. It will not take you long as it is a quick read, but you will walk away with a greater understanding of your own life by reading about the authors.
Within each chapter, Kurt, the author, shares a story from his life. They are all entertaining, and many stir up emotion. After the story, he shares the lesson he learned. It may remind you of something similar that happened in your own life. It may even start the gears in your brain turning and thinking about how many lessons you could pull from your own life experiences! What if that happens? Do not worry, Kurt has you covered. After the lesson, there is a space you can jot down notes that have occurred to you while reading the proceeding chapter. You don’t have to even have a separate notebook handy. How great is that?
Last week, the author stopped by to help Margie and I with a technical issue. He, and his wonderful lady, shared a meal with my lovely lady and I. We talked as friends do and he shared with us a very gripping story. I would have normally supported this book because the author is my friend and it really will positively impact a lot of lives, but the why behind how it was finally brought to market makes me want to do so even more. Kurt and his mother were very close. He shared many of the fun activities they would do together. I can relate to that as my mother and I often go hiking and get coffee, among other such things. Sadly, Kurt’s mother was diagnosed with cancer. When that happened, they still spent time together by watching movies together. One evening after doing so, he got her a bowl of ice cream and told her he loved her before leaving. She told him, “I love you more.” and he left. The next day she had a doctor’s appointment but tragically did not make it to that appointment. She passed away.
Before she had passed, she made her son promise to publish his book. To honor his mother, he did just that. It is my firm belief, she would not only be proud of her son, but of the amazing book he created. I know she will be looking down and be filled with joy at all the lives her son will have impacted with his thoughtful book. Won’t you honor both him and her by allowing his book to touch your life? You will walk away a more introspective and thoughtful individual, and you will help a young man who kept his promise to his mother. I have included the link to order the book below. You can also search Nothing is Everything by Kurtis W Perkins on Amazon yourself. I would love to hear how this wonderful book has impacted your life, as would Kurt. Feel free to leave a positive review on Amazon to let others know as well.
Pick any great virtue in life and one thing holds true. It is not a destination but a journey. Want to be courageous? You can’t be brave one time and give yourself the title. You must be brave every day. You also cannot be brave in one area of your life and a coward in the rest. If so, you are not brave my friend.
There is no virtue this holds more true in than that of greatness. You want to be great? Do not focus on accomplishments of great deeds, but focus exclusively on becoming a great person. What is the difference? If you are to be great, you would not strive to be abundant and treat others poorly. You would not focus on acquiring great knowledge to the detriment of your health. You would not even be considered a knowledgeable person, as your lack of knowledge about staying healthy would be evident.
Here, ladies and gentlemen, is the secret to greatness. Doing a lot of small things well. If you drop trash on the ground, you pick it up because it is your name attached to it. Not because someone may be watching, but because you are watching you. Greatness is doing your best at everything you do. That is becoming great. Greatness is as much a habit as it is anything else. How you do one thing is how you end up doing everything. You cannot act and be poor in one area and expect to be great in another. This may work for a while, but the truth will be revealed.
We do fall to the level of our training. This is especially true when we are under pressure. This is both good and bad news. It is bad news if we can expect to be disciplined in one area of our life and not in any others. We should not strive to be a disciplined _____, but strive to be a disciplined person. If we do work on training our mind and our actions for greatness and to strive to be the best version of ourselves, when we fall back to the level of our training, it will be greatness. Here is one way in which we can accomplish this.
It is here that I must slightly disagree with Mother Teresa. Doing small things with great love is, by our definition here, greatness. Love is a great motivator. How much you love the idea of greatness and becoming a great human being. Thinking about those you love and why you are doing it. In my journey to become a great man, a good deal of that is for the woman I love. She deserves a great man. Every time I am tempted to act in a way that falls below the standards of what I think a great man should be, I think of how much I love her and what she deserves. That love keeps me dedicated to the task of being a great gentleman.
Greatness, my friends, is not a place to be reached. It is a course of action to be pursued every day. It must be done in everything we do. We must remember that greatness is not so much a trait as it is a habit. We must train our minds to operate with a level of greatness. We must set high standards for ourselves. Only by raising our own standards can we hope to grow as individuals. All of this may sound like hard work, and at times it is, but it is attainable. We all have the power to change our habits and act more in according to a way that raises us closer to the level of greatness.
When I saw this quote, it sure made me chuckle. It did get me thinking about how many groups we belong to. Whether we voluntarily join them, or in the case of Wally World, are forced to become a part of them. Here is the cool thing about it. The more groups we recognize that we belong to, the better off we are. When we only think about one group, say a political or religious affiliation, and define ourselves solely by that, we create division. “That person is X and I am a Y.” However, if we see that person stuck in the self-checkout waiting for a human to come fix their transaction, just like us, suddenly they become more familiar.
With the advent of the internet and other such technologies, the world is becoming smaller than ever. I can turn on my television in the United States and tune into a Ugandan television station. We can go on social media and chat with someone halfway around the globe. You often hear me mention my friend who reads this blog in Italy. He is an Italian, married to a Filipino woman. I am an American attached to a sweet French, English, Irish (among other things). We could point out many differences. You know what I notice? We are both gentleman with impeccable music tastes that are interested in bettering ourselves, exploring the natural world around us and creating a great relationship with our ladies.
In any situation, we can find many differences among us. We can also find many different souls in one of the groups we find ourselves in. It is ironic how foreign a person and their ideas may seem until we find that common ground. Even challenges, such as a medical condition, can bring us in the company of others we may not think about otherwise associating with. Next time you are tempted to discount another person based on their political beliefs, sexual orientation or religion, remember, they may be at the Walmart Self-checkout just like us.
Uplifting Wednesdays! My favorite day for this site. Every Wednesday we look to lift each other up. Today’s thought is so powerful. Often, a change in our life is no more complicated than a change in perception. This is not to say it is not challenging, but it is not all that complicated. A perfect example is the quote above. We often miss the miracles in life because they have become ordinary. As I write this, I am sitting in a local Starbucks, where I do most of my writing, and I can see countless things that could be considered miracles.
To many of you, this may sound like it is putting on a pair of rose-colored glasses. Maybe, but there is also a great deal of truth to it. Plus, ask yourself this, what does putting on a pair of rose-colored glasses do? It makes the world look rosy! What does that do? Make us feel good. Would you rather go through life feeling good or feeling bad? So how do we get fitted for a pair of these wonderful spectacles and start seeing the miracles that we are missing all around us? I have 2 suggestions to start!
My first suggestion is to indulge in a little bit of time travel. Don’t worry. You will not even have to leave your seat to do so. Take a look at the picture above. The top shows a man in a Ford Model T. Sometime during the early 1900s I would guess. Below is a Bugatti Divo, or as we will refer to it, my next car. Can you imagine taking the man from the top machine and putting him in the bottom car? He would think it was nothing short of a miracle. Even if you put me in the bottom car I would consider it a miracle. This holds true of so many of our modern conveniences. How about a device that would reheat food in mere minutes? Can you imagine how much a mother in the 1930s would have found this helpful? A device in your hand that contains a camera, a computer, a telephone, a pedometer and many other things yet only weighs a few ounces? How about the fabulous internet it runs on? These are all miracles! Look around you and notice how many things would have been unthinkable only a few years ago. As the pace of change in the world quickens, the number of things that will be ‘modern miracles’, as those in the advertising world like to say, will continue to increase.
Although my mother does not enjoy me bringing up the subject, a few years ago I underwent open-heart surgery. In the course of this, I briefly expired and then returned. The whole story is available in my book, The Beat Goes On. Above is a picture of me recovering from such an ordeal. Having tubes stuck everywhere, including in my neck, was not the joyous experience you might imagine it to be. What a gift is was though! Why? It allowed me to really change my perspective on a lot of things. In fact, the whole process occurred due to a string of miracles. Had they not occurred, I might not be here to write this. Steve Jobs said, “You can never connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking back.” This can often be true about discovering the miracles in life.
There are so many events that can help us see the miracles all around us. I recall news stories of hostages being released. When they return to their native lands, they often kiss the ground at the airport. Why? Because the freedom they thought they had lost forever was suddenly returned. Do you think they would kiss the ground at that airport when say going on vacation? Probably not. The freedom was still there, but they did not notice it until it was taken away. Same when the Berlin wall was taken down. People rejoiced, deservedly so, at the new-found freedom they had acquired. Do you think many of those people are dancing in the street for that freedom now? No, it has been taken for granted.
Lastly, loss is a powerful way of helping us see the miracles in our life. There is a line from the song “Life is Beautiful” by the band Sixx A.M. that I think illustrates the point quite well. The line reads “There is nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive.” As dark as this may sound, it is uncomfortably true. How many times have you walked away from a funeral with a new appreciation for how fleeting life is and what a miracle it is to be alive. It also helps us appreciate the miracle of those we share life with. When I learned I was to undergo my surgery, and how risky it was, I was at the movies with the love of my life. I recall looking over to appreciate the miracle of her smile. The way her eyes light up when she is happy. The way her cheeks get rosy. These things are miracles. On any given day, I find it a miracle that such a beautiful and amazing woman loves me. Does that mean I never take that for granted? Although I do my best, I am human. All it takes is some time away from each other or reflection on what we have been through to refresh that miraculous feeling.
How about your life? Have you been letting miracles pass you by? I don’t even know you, but I can assure you that you have. There are so many miracles, disguised as ordinary things, that we can’t possibly notice them all. My suggestion for you? Spend some time each day where you stop, put on a pair of the old rose-colored glasses, and look anew at all the miracles around you. It will refresh your soul and may even help heal some of the pain you have. Feel free to share any of the miracles you are celebrating in your life with us.
One of the many great lessons you can pull out of my third book is this one! When I was told I needed a risky open-heart surgery and that there was a chance I could either have a stroke or die, a lot goes through your mind. They did tell me that it would most likely be a mini-stroke, so nothing to worry about. I recall jokingly asking if there was a mini death that wasn’t much to worry about. That was all too accurate, but that is a story for a different post. If you can’t wait, feel free to read The Beat Goes On by yours truly.
I was given two months notice before the surgery would take place. What was I focused on? Was it making more money? Not at all. Improving my looks? Nope. What became most important was loving the people closest to me and enjoying every last drop of time I could with them. The closer the day came, the less I wanted to even spend time sleeping. Granted, there is not much of that in my life normally. When you know how much sand is left in the hourglass and are keenly aware that it is running out every second that passes, there is a sense of urgency that you otherwise don’t have.
Here is the truth, that is the situation for all of us. Normally, we don’t know how much sand is on top of the hourglass. It could be a week, it could be a decade or more. We don’t really know. Yet, the majority of us walk around as if we have an noncancelable contract with life. Not to be the bearer of bad news, but yours will end someday and we don’t know when.
I did end up briefly expiring. Again, that entire story is in the book. Obviously, I came back to join you all here on the website and type this blog. Hopefully, that wasn’t the sole reason I was brought back, but I digress. Having another chance to bring joy to the world, and extract it from life is quite a blessing. I had to undergo months of physical therapy to be able to get back to living life again. Let me tell you that not a single workout goes by that I am not reminded that even going to the gym is a blessing. Actually, all of life is. It is also a precious one that far too many of us take for granted. Today, you are the youngest you will ever be. Don’t waste it.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 