Many things confuse my simple brain. For example, why do people so often trash public restrooms? Do they suddenly fly into a fit of rage when relieving themselves? Personally, that is when I tend to be the happiest. Maybe it is because there is no cameras in restrooms so they feel they can commit their crime without consequence? Anyone who understands the laws of the universe will realize how foolish that line of thinking is.
The other great question I have is why some people begin to treat others harshly when given a position of power? This really should be the opposite of what happens. With great reward comes great responsibility. Whether influence or power, we should use it for good. The more you have of either of those, the greater the opportunity you have to use them for good. There is never a time that you become important enough that kindness ceases to be a requirement. Quite the opposite is true. When you become more famous, or powerful, you have others looking up to you. It is then that your kindness can be appreciated by others.
When I become a famous best-selling author, I look forward to being able to help and inspire many others to do the same. I am doing that on a smaller scale now. That is another important fact that I do not happen to have a sign for. It is never too early to start practicing kindness. If you want to be charitable and think you have to wait until you win the lottery, that is simply not so. Donating a dime out of a dollar can be even more meaningful than a million out of ten million.
The takeaway today is this – it is never too early, and you are never too important to be kind. Be kind to everyone and everything you meet today. It will not only make the world a better place, especially for those you are kind too, but it will make your own heart a little happier and your own spirit a little brighter.
This may sound like a fatalistic post for uplifting Wednesdays, but it really is not. In fact, I debated titling this post “Everything is special” but decided on the one I did because it has a sense of urgency. Last week, we discussed how quickly things change and how the not so distant past can seem like a lifetime ago. Isn’t that true to some extent in your own life? I know it is in mine. Places you used to go are no longer there. Businesses you used to frequent have ceased operations. People sadly pass on. Animals become extinct.
Again,this is a little depressing, but it also provides us a sense of urgency. My friend Curtis gave me a great reminder about the power of being present. All too often we busy ourselves reliving memories and fail to pay attention to the ones we should be creating. Then, without a warning it seems, they too become memories. Consider this – each second of time is unique and will never occur again. The beautiful sunrise you are witnessing? Yes, the sun will rise again tomorrow, but it will look different than what you are seeing right now. That bouquet of flowers you received will be different than any you will get in the future.
One of the interesting things that I reflect on in life is how seemingly tragic world events change the way things are done. I recall what travel was like before September 11 of 2001. Recently, we all saw the effects Covid had on the way we socialize and do business. Life can change in an instant. Change is actually the only thing we can count on. That is why each moment is so precious. War has broken out in many places in the world and the lives of millions were upended ina heartbeat. The reverberations of that situation can be felt across the globe. Very few us could have predicted that was going to happen.
It doesn’t even have to be on a global scale. Think of all the people in your life. Above is a picture of my lovely lady and I. It was taken at my work’s holiday party. It was also a retirement party for one of my coworkers. That means it will be the last time he will be there as my coworker. Who knows if my work will have another holiday party or if this was the last one I will attend? A few years back during my open-heart surgery, it was almost the last time I spent with my lovely Margie. That story is shared in great detail in my book, The Beat Goes On, available on Amazon.
Challenges provide us great opportunity to see everything for the miracle it is. Recently, I shared the story about how my car was having trouble and my mother was giving me a ride to work. Although this proved to be far more stressful than we first thought, who knows when I will be able to share the ride and great conversation with my mother at 430am. Looking back, we had fun on my way to work. Who knows if those moments will ever happen again. I would much rather have a working vehicle, but the ride with my mom was a good memory.
Everything, and everyone, in life is fleeting. It may not seem like it, but as we discussed earlier, it can all change in an instant. Health is precious. Love is precious. So many things we can fail to appreciate until they are gone. Take a second an be present and grateful for everything in your life. Everything is a miracle. Everything is precious.
There is so much going on in this picture that gives clues to living an amazing life. At first glance, it may not seem so. Let us take a dive in to discover the secrets that are in this picture. Starting with the obvious – the saying in the picture. “Use Sunday to reconnect with a place from your past.” What a great idea! My mother and I often discuss things that we did that seem like a different lifetime ago. We used to go to a great encampment they held at the local VA grounds. That no longer occurs. We talk about restaurants we used to frequent that have went out of business. Then, after a few more sips of coffee, we talk about places we just haven’t visited in a long time for various reasons.
Reconnecting with some of these places could bring back some really interesting memories. It also helps you stay grounded. Connecting your present with your past can help us be both nostalgic as well as present. Reflecting on memories of the past and noting how life has changed can be insightful. Looking around to see how the place has changed can have us living in the present. When we reflect on memories there is one thing I find interesting. At the time they were being created, we usually never know they will become memories. We are just enjoying the moment. This is a reason why it is helpful to take pictures, especially now that they can be stored digitally. I find it also helps to use as many of our senses as we can. Soak up every moment of our lives. We never know which ones will become our favorite memories.
The other item is what the saying is printed on. It is a day-by-day motivational calendar. I purchased it while visiting the mall to see my friend Nick, who manages the coffee shop there. Every day it supplies an inspirational thought for me. That is one source of positive inspiration added to my life and all I have to do is tear off that day. Considering how many negative influences come into our lives, without any effort on our part, it benefits us greatly to add as many positive ones that do the same. There are apps that send motivational messages to your phone. There are affirmations you can listen to on YouTube. There are so many influences that we can add. This leads us to the final thing we will mention in this picture.
The last thing you might not have noticed in the first picture, is the hand that is holding the calendar. That hand belongs to my lovely lady, Margie. Recently, I saw a meme about how picking the right woman makes a big difference. I would like to change ‘woman’ to ‘partner’ as this holds true across gender. Margie was kind enough to take this picture because mine had a big shadow in it. Much like adding as many positive influences in your life, the same can be said for positive people. I enjoy hanging out with my mother and going for coffee. Speaking of which, my friend Nick and I are long overdue for getting together. Even at my day job, where people can be ‘sunshine challenged’ I seek out those who do have a brighter outlook. I feel we support each other. How about your life? Adding, and spending time with, as many positive people as you can will fill your life with more joy than you can do on your own. As a bonus, the more time you spend around positive people, the less time you have for those ’emotional vampires’ that suck the life out of your soul.
In this one picture, there are 3 ideas I put into action that helps me to live an amazing life. It was a powerful reminder. How about you? Share a picture of things that bring joy into your life and help you live an amazing life. When we share, we all benefit!
Here is a picture of the calendar that I have hanging at work. As you can see it adds a little splash of color to an otherwise dull space. There is much more to this story than meets the eye. The calendar in question was purchased for me by the love of my life. She bought it for me at a bird show at the Wisconsin State Fair. The profits went to support the animals in the show. They are presented by the Schlitz Audubon Nature Center. They have an array of products for sale, the profits going to support the animals that are found at their center.
Sure, a button would have been cool, maybe a t-shirt. Why did my lady choose a calendar? Besides the fact that I have no need for another t-shirt, no matter how cool, it is a gift that keeps on giving. Each month they feature a picture of an exciting bird of prey. In addition to some quick learning, I am reminded of the amazing show we were at, the fun we had and the fact that the lady in my life loves me enough to surprise me with this calendar.
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, and the fact that you should always be thinking about great gifts that help keep the love and passion in your relationship, a calendar is a rather cool gift. They have fancy day by day ones, you can even have personal ones made! The price point is not that much, but it serves as a reminder all year long. Already have a calendar? A daily journal could be fun. Anything that can be used daily, or at least on a regular basis makes a great gift to remind someone you care. This year, I have a calendar of tropical locations that I got while shopping with my lady. We are going to take a trip to the Bahamas this year and it will serve as a great reminder of that and other fun we have had, and will have. How about you? Is there an item you have that reinforces positive thoughts and memories?
This holiday season, the best gift you can give is to be the best gift! As we talked about last post, by expressing gratitude and genuine appreciation? Who would not want to hear why people think they are an awesome part of their life? The true gifts of the holiday are the times we share and the people we spend them with. Another great idea is to share happy memories you have while you are creating new ones. Maybe start a new enjoyable holiday tradition that will bring joy to all of those attending?
These are ways in which we can bring amazing gifts while being the best gift at the party. Make this holiday the best by giving others inner joy to carry with them not only during the holiday season, but all year long! This is what holidays should be all about. If you have any suggestions for adding joy and happiness to our holiday season, or fun holiday traditions you celebrate, please share them with us in the comments. In this way, you will be adding joy to those who read this blog in over 200 countries, celebrating a wide array of holidays. Here at secret2anamazinglife, we wish you and yours a safe, healthy and happy holiday season.
Tomorrow, a good portion of the earth’s population, as well as a good number of our readers, will be celebrating Christmas. Many will do it for religious reasons. Some, for more secular reasons. For many the holidays can be a difficult time and celebrating is the last thing they want to do. Much like anything in life, there are so many variables that it no one person feels the same about the holiday season. Today, we are going to look at a few tips that can make your holiday a lot more enjoyable. This holds true no matter what holiday you celebrate, or how and why you do so. Let us jump right in!
Just like the 14 different holidays that are celebrated this time of year, there are so many ways to celebrate them. Are you celebrating at home with your immediate family? Perhaps you are traveling to gather with a larger selection of family. Maybe you are having family travel to you. Perhaps you are college student celebrating with friends. Maybe you find yourself celebrating alone this year? Whatever the situation might be, and even if it is a different holiday you are celebrating, these tips will help you enjoy it more!
First tip, holiday stress – don’t do it. Easier said than done right? Trust me, my beautiful lady gets anxious if the toilet paper doesn’t match the napkins, or something like that. Sure, do what you can to make your guest have an enjoyable time, or to be an enjoyable guest, but don’t stress about it. What happens if the power goes out and you are unable to cook dinner? You light some candles, order a pizza and have a great funny story for the future. Just adapt and overcome. Nothing is as serious as we often view it. There was one holiday where one of my relatives walked right through someone’s screen door. They were horrified and thought they ruined the whole night. Now? We laugh about it and use it as an ice-breaker. Remember the point is to have fun, not to be perfect.
Gifts, another great source of stress. Have you ever found yourself in this situation? You don’t know what to get someone and decide on the Winnie-the-Pooh coffee mug. They didn’t know what to get you either and they decided on an engraved diamond necklace. Now you feel like a cheapskate and might have been better off buying nothing. How about the other way around? You spend the time, money and mental effort picking out the perfect gift. What do you receive from them? A stuffed poop emoji that squeaks. You are left wondering why you stressed at all and how that money could have went in your Fiji vacation fund. This is not at all what holidays should be like. It really is the thought that counts. I am guessing at some point, during some holiday, you will find yourself in one of the above situations. It happens. Shrug it off and move on. Do not stress. If someone judges you based on your gift, that is on them, not you.
Lastly, something that can both reduce stress and be the perfect gift! Maybe we should’ve started with this one? The perfect gift and something that can bring joy and reduce stress at the same time…gratitude! Expressing genuine gratitude to those around you and telling everyone what you appreciate about them can lighten the mood of any party. How great would you holiday be if several people come up and genuinely tell you why you, in their eyes, are totally awesome? Let us all give each other the gift of gratitude and encouragement this year. Follow these 3 tips and your holiday celebration will be a lot more enjoyable! If you have any holiday tips, feel free to share them in the comments below!
This post was inspired by a very special lady, who is celebrating a very special day today. Before we get to her and the reason we are celebrating today, let me clear a few things up first. There have been countless reality shows about love lately. Here is the crazy thing, none of them come close to the reality of what love truly is. Worse than that, they have started a very disturbing trend. People are confusing the entertainment they see as standards for what love should be. There are even news stories of regular working people refusing to get out of the car on dates because the restaurant they were taken to was not expensive enough. They film themselves sitting in the car acting like a four year old throwing a temper tantrum. They should be grateful they are being taken out for dinner.
Refusing to get out of the car on a date because you are not being taken to the same restaurant that Kim Kardashian was taken to, is like me refusing to go to a book signing because I am not being booked in the same hotel say a Stephen King or Bill Bryson would. They are authors worth millions of dollars. I am still waiting to be worth millions of dollars. Instead, I am grateful to be asked to appear at a signing. With that attitude, I have often been asked to return, as well as offered new opportunities. When you are grateful to be taken on a date, you are far more likely to be offered, and taken on, a second date. It may even be to a fancier and nicer place than a first date. You also give yourself the opportunity to appreciate love in its deepest sense. When you refuse to get out of the car because you are being taken to a restaurant that is not on a reality television show, you will not only not enjoy that date, I can almost assure that you will be asked on a second date. When you are in a relationship for material reasons is ceases to be love and becomes a transaction.
My love and I
True love, my friends, does not have to cost a fortune. What true love really costs is far different than what you see on television. The price for true love is attention. It is caring and focus. It is affection and understanding. True love can often cost you your patience, and if you are dating a future best-selling author, your last nerve. Above is a picture of myself with the love of my life. I followed the picture of Kim Kardashian with hers for two reasons. First, she is a big fan. Second, for my money she is far more beautiful and I consider myself lucky to have her. She knows the meaning of true love and how to express it.
She has been working hard these last couple weeks with her daughter. As a reward for all of this effort, they were featured in a news story. You can see the picture as it appeared in my news feed above. I will share the link to the story at the end of this post if you would like to read all about my amazing woman. Speaking of her, today is her birthday. I am looking forward to taking her out to a nice place she has been wanting to go for a long time. Hopefully, this birthday date and dinner will be amazing, but it will not be nearly as amazing as what she did for me the other night. It was a great demonstration of love.
I came home after a 9 hour workday. She informed me that we were going on a date. I was excited to see what she had planned. When I got home, I was shocked to find she had the bathtub filled with water scented with some of my favorite essential oils, and the the bathroom had a light that made the walls and ceiling look like the ocean. In addition, there was a nice scented candle lit. “Get in.” she urged. Then she added a very sweet, “You deserve it.” While I relaxed in this amazing atmosphere, she created a wonderfully tasty meal. I got out before it was ready. She had the bed made with my electric blanket turned on and warmed up for me. “Lay down and relax. You must be tired.” She offered. She was correct and I took her kind suggestion and made the most of her loving efforts. When I awoke, dinner was ready and we ate while watching a Christmas movie. There was even more amazing things that evening.
The funny thing? All of this was created with stuff we had at home. Did I feel cheated? Would I have rather went to an expensive steak house? Absolutely…not! First, if you ever had Margie’s cooking, you will know there is no place I would rather eat than home. Second, her effort is putting all of this together showed more love than purchasing any meal ever could. The thoughtfulness of knowing that I was sore and tired from a long work day and would really appreciate all of the relaxing items meant more than a fancy night out. It also made me feel more loved. True love is considering what your partner may be going through or need, and acting on that. True love is being there for someone.
I am so proud of this beautiful, sexy, amazing, loving woman. It is her birthday, but I am the one celebrating. Being able to love each other is one of the greatest gifts we give each other, not only today, but every day. In the past year, she has taken back control of her health and looks more youthful and beautiful than ever! It is as if she is aging in reverse. Knowing how to express love is a great gift that she has. Being able to appreciate the love that I give her, only has me wanting to give her more! Happy birthday my love. Thank you for showing me what true love is all about.
What a powerful thought for us courtesy of Anne Frank. In case you are ignorant to who Anne Frank was, she was a young Jewish girl who kept a diary while hiding in an attic from the Nazi invasion in Amsterdam. Her surviving diary gave us a great insight into what it was like during those dark times.
This particular thought is powerful because it is so true. We see people overcome with emotion at funerals. Flowers are everywhere. This is as it should be. Losing a person is the most difficult thing we go through in life. The worse emotion people experience at a funeral is seldom loss. No, worse is the emotion of regret. What we should have said, or the time we should have spent. Regret can haunt us for the rest of our lives. It can also serve as one of the best reminders and motivators to change our behavior in the future.
What should be just as, if not more, powerful is our gratitude for the people we have in our lives. Take one person that is really special in your life. Think about everything you are grateful for about that person. Do this for at the very least 30 minutes. How long do you think that list would be? Just in passing, as I write this, my list is quite long. When you focus solely on what you are grateful for about any special individual in your life, those feelings should begin to swell. When we realize how lucky we are to share life with these amazing souls, we would want to cover the room they are in with flowers!
Still not convinced? Try using the opposite end of the spectrum. Imagine everything you would lose and how much pain and lose you would feel should you lose this person tomorrow. Not very fun, I know. What it will do is help you appreciate the great gifts this person brings to your life. Combine them both and you will be surprised at how you are feeling. It may not make you want to buy them flowers, but it will overwhelm you with a feeling of gratitude for sharing life with them. When you are full of emotions such as this, can you imagine the impact it will have on your relationship with them?
Try doing this with a different person each week. You will see your relationships taken to an entirely different level. Don’t take my word for this. What takes us from the life we have to the life we love is action! Try this for yourself. Just a focused, uninterrupted 30 minutes of gratitude for one individual. Maybe do it for a week straight. They do not even have to know you are doing it. Watch what it does to your relationship with them. Not to ruin the secret, but there is an added benefit. You will be filled with more inner joy than you can imagine. Feeling gratitude is a great antidote to all of life’s trouble. The more we talk about this, the more I am excited to put this into action myself. How about you? Is there someone special in your life that you are extremely grateful for? Don’t you think they are worth 30 minutes a day of your time for a week? You owe it to them, and you owe it to yourself. Take your life, and your relationships, to the next level.
Here is a book I cannot recommend enough. Not only because it was written by a very good friend of mine, but because of what it can do for you, and even more, why it was written. You will not only enjoy reading the funny stories contained within, you will be learning as you do so. It will not take you long as it is a quick read, but you will walk away with a greater understanding of your own life by reading about the authors.
Within each chapter, Kurt, the author, shares a story from his life. They are all entertaining, and many stir up emotion. After the story, he shares the lesson he learned. It may remind you of something similar that happened in your own life. It may even start the gears in your brain turning and thinking about how many lessons you could pull from your own life experiences! What if that happens? Do not worry, Kurt has you covered. After the lesson, there is a space you can jot down notes that have occurred to you while reading the proceeding chapter. You don’t have to even have a separate notebook handy. How great is that?
Last week, the author stopped by to help Margie and I with a technical issue. He, and his wonderful lady, shared a meal with my lovely lady and I. We talked as friends do and he shared with us a very gripping story. I would have normally supported this book because the author is my friend and it really will positively impact a lot of lives, but the why behind how it was finally brought to market makes me want to do so even more. Kurt and his mother were very close. He shared many of the fun activities they would do together. I can relate to that as my mother and I often go hiking and get coffee, among other such things. Sadly, Kurt’s mother was diagnosed with cancer. When that happened, they still spent time together by watching movies together. One evening after doing so, he got her a bowl of ice cream and told her he loved her before leaving. She told him, “I love you more.” and he left. The next day she had a doctor’s appointment but tragically did not make it to that appointment. She passed away.
Before she had passed, she made her son promise to publish his book. To honor his mother, he did just that. It is my firm belief, she would not only be proud of her son, but of the amazing book he created. I know she will be looking down and be filled with joy at all the lives her son will have impacted with his thoughtful book. Won’t you honor both him and her by allowing his book to touch your life? You will walk away a more introspective and thoughtful individual, and you will help a young man who kept his promise to his mother. I have included the link to order the book below. You can also search Nothing is Everything by Kurtis W Perkins on Amazon yourself. I would love to hear how this wonderful book has impacted your life, as would Kurt. Feel free to leave a positive review on Amazon to let others know as well.
Pick any great virtue in life and one thing holds true. It is not a destination but a journey. Want to be courageous? You can’t be brave one time and give yourself the title. You must be brave every day. You also cannot be brave in one area of your life and a coward in the rest. If so, you are not brave my friend.
There is no virtue this holds more true in than that of greatness. You want to be great? Do not focus on accomplishments of great deeds, but focus exclusively on becoming a great person. What is the difference? If you are to be great, you would not strive to be abundant and treat others poorly. You would not focus on acquiring great knowledge to the detriment of your health. You would not even be considered a knowledgeable person, as your lack of knowledge about staying healthy would be evident.
Here, ladies and gentlemen, is the secret to greatness. Doing a lot of small things well. If you drop trash on the ground, you pick it up because it is your name attached to it. Not because someone may be watching, but because you are watching you. Greatness is doing your best at everything you do. That is becoming great. Greatness is as much a habit as it is anything else. How you do one thing is how you end up doing everything. You cannot act and be poor in one area and expect to be great in another. This may work for a while, but the truth will be revealed.
We do fall to the level of our training. This is especially true when we are under pressure. This is both good and bad news. It is bad news if we can expect to be disciplined in one area of our life and not in any others. We should not strive to be a disciplined _____, but strive to be a disciplined person. If we do work on training our mind and our actions for greatness and to strive to be the best version of ourselves, when we fall back to the level of our training, it will be greatness. Here is one way in which we can accomplish this.
It is here that I must slightly disagree with Mother Teresa. Doing small things with great love is, by our definition here, greatness. Love is a great motivator. How much you love the idea of greatness and becoming a great human being. Thinking about those you love and why you are doing it. In my journey to become a great man, a good deal of that is for the woman I love. She deserves a great man. Every time I am tempted to act in a way that falls below the standards of what I think a great man should be, I think of how much I love her and what she deserves. That love keeps me dedicated to the task of being a great gentleman.
Greatness, my friends, is not a place to be reached. It is a course of action to be pursued every day. It must be done in everything we do. We must remember that greatness is not so much a trait as it is a habit. We must train our minds to operate with a level of greatness. We must set high standards for ourselves. Only by raising our own standards can we hope to grow as individuals. All of this may sound like hard work, and at times it is, but it is attainable. We all have the power to change our habits and act more in according to a way that raises us closer to the level of greatness.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 