One of our greatest powers as human beings is the power to connect with others. There are so many people that come to mind when I say this. My friend Nick and I could talk, with interest, for hours. My friend Curtis, whom I miss since he moved away, always gave me great ideas. Of course my beautiful lady, Margie, fills me with joy as we connect on so many different levels. Each one of these people, along with so many others I could name, bring something unique and special into my life.
If you think about the people you connect with in your life, I am sure each one of them brings something unique and special. Some people spark ideas. Some of them offer encouragement. There are people that challenge you and hold you accountable to your standards. There are those wonderful souls that just fill your heart with joy by being in their presence. Every soul that we interact with is a gift. Even those who may be an arduous task to connect with, give our character strength. They may also help us practice patience and restraint.
Today, let us take a moment to think of all the ways connections benefit us and give thanks for all of the wonderful people that share life with us. In my upcoming fourth book, I have received feedback from many of the friends that I value and look forward to sharing that with you. The connection they share with me has only made my life better. They say when two people connect, a third is born. Meaning a connection, ideas and actions that neither person would come up with on their own. Connections bless our world more than we know. That us take a moment to be grateful for them today.
The end of the weekend is fast approaching. Too fast for many of us. Before we pick out a black mourning outfit to wear to work on Monday, let us remember that although we have left our 48 hours of freedom behind, we are starting something new. No, I am not talking about 120 hours in which we are in work mode. Although looking at the numbers, I do feel it should be a little more balanced. What it could be is the beginning of the most wonderful week of our lives. We never know what might await us in the coming days.
As you can see in the photo above, I recently returned from vacation with this beautiful lady. As the days get further away from being in the sunny Bahamas, I have 2 choices. I could lament the fact that it has been even longer since I have been laying on a beach after a breakfast buffet, or I can think that it is the beginning (and one week closer) to planning the next escape with my lovely lady. You may think this is splitting hairs, so to speak, and you may be right. Here is another truth – although both facts may be true, looking at them in different ways will give you entirely different feelings. Why not pick the one that makes you feel good?
Take the words of wisdom from the great Mr. Rogers. Every end is also a new beginning. We should work on fostering feelings of excitement for what is next in our lives. It will have us viewing life as we should, as one big adventure.
The secret to happiness? That is a bold statement. Especially considering that happiness is different for everyone. Yet, there is a universal way to bring happiness into your life no matter who you are, or what makes you happy. Even better than that, the more you do this, the more happiness it will bring in your life! Is it swimming with pigs in the ocean like in the picture above? I recently did that on my trip to the Bahamas. It was fun, but not necessarily everyone’s secret to happiness. It is a clue as to what that secret is though.
I mentioned that I swam with pigs in the Bahamas. It happened on a trip that I took my beautiful lady on for her birthday. She had mentioned really wanting to go there, and I wanted to make her dream come true. She also thought swimming with the pigs sounded fun, so I had to find a way to add that as well. As you can see in her amazing smile, she was very happy. That, my friends, is the secret to happiness. Taking your lady on a trip to swim with the pigs in the Bahamas? Not exactly, but yes.
Bringing joy to the lives of others, especially those you really care about, is the secret to happiness. I am going to tell you why. From a scientific standpoint, studies show doing kind things for others activates the reward centers in our brain. Doing this takes our mind off of our own worries. Knowing that you brought joy to another can, and should, give you a feeling of accomplishment. That is a goal worth aspiring to and accomplishing. In today’s world, being a giver of joy is priceless. Others value someone who can give them a feeling of positivity.
You can certainly walk around doing random act of kindness and that will add joy. Do you want to do this more effectively and see quicker and more intense results? Then you need one additional skill – active listening. To listen actively means that you listen for a purpose. Like to find what would bring the biggest smile to someone’s face. In the case of my lovely Margie, that was hearing her express her desire to go to the Bahamas, and to swim with pigs. It doesn’t have to be something so grand. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be something they enjoy. This works really well if you have someone who complains a good deal. Let me explain.
When you are actively listening to discover what you can do to bring joy to someone’s life, there are two things to pay attention to. First, is rather obvious. Look for what they say they want/like. This could be wanting to try a certain restaurant or what flowers are their favorite. On the flip side, you can also listen for what they don’t like. When you hear these things, you can work on finding ways to help eliminate them. If you combine them, you have two powerful ways to bring joy to anyone. As a bonus, they will not only feel joy from the activity, but feel significant and valued because you listened to what was important to them.
I told you in the beginning of this post that the more you do this, the more happiness will fill your life. Here is why. Think what will happen the more you bring joy to someone’s life. How do you think they will view and treat you? When they see you, they will automatically feel joy just from your presence. They will want to return the favor as well. Nobody wants to feel like a taker. They will want to return that feeling of joy you give them. The more you do this for each other, the more it happens in return. Now imagine if you did this with as many people in your life as you could. This could include coworkers, retail people you encounter, store clerks, family, friends and even complete strangers. Not only will you be so busy trying to discover joy that you will have less time to focus on your worries, but you will have countless people focused on bringing you joy as well. Can you see how this could grow? The more we put out, the more we will get in return. It is like planting seeds of joy in others, allows us to harvest the joy in our own lives as well. Start planting as many seeds as you can, in as many gardens as you can, today!
Everyone would love a bonus day in their lives, wouldn’t they? How many times do you look around at everything you have to do in life and wish you just had a few more hours in they day? For most of us, that is daily. Here is a trick question. If you did have a bonus day, what would you spend it focused on? Would it be accomplishing more? Would it be resting more? Would it be focused on just doing nothing? How about focusing on joy? On bliss?
Today is leap year. It has many of us thinking of a bonus day. That is not exactly how it is, but you get the idea. Here is a fact that we often overlook. Every day is a bonus day. There are so many things that could go sideways in life and in the world that every day we enjoy with those we love is a bonus day. This may sound metaphorical, but it is not. Who is to say who will be here tomorrow and who will not. Today we are, let us make the most of it. This will mean different things to different people. Maybe completing that household chore you have been working on forever will give you joy? Then, put some time in. Maybe you need to slow down and just enjoy a little time for yourself. Don’t feel guilty, just do that.
Let leap year serve as a reminder to us that every day is a bonus day. We are not promised tomorrow, but we have been given today. Let us make the most of this beautiful bonus day!
If we stop and think about it, aren’t some of the best moments in our lives the little ones done with the people dearest to us? Often, we have no idea they will turn out this way. We had out just for coffee, or a day of shopping, and end up with memories that carry us through a lifetime.
Today, I encourage you to keep doing the little things. You may not even realize how much they mean to those you care about. I would love to hear about a little moment that had a big impact on you.
Are you like me, one of those people who really like to get someone the perfect gift? Not necessarily the most expensive or lavish gift, but one that will be most appreciated. Do you spend countless hours thinking about what you know of the person and then combining that with what gift would fit that knowledge? It can be stressful and exhausting. This post will help relieve some of that stress and give you a gift that will be treasured by anyone you want to feel special. How can we do that without knowing the first thing about the person you are giving the gift to? By giving you a gift that is universally loved, extremely rare, and although it does not cost much from a financial aspect, it is priceless. Care to know what it is? Read on my friends.
As you read this, I will be on my way to this amazing location. It is the Warkwick Paradise Island, in the Bahamas. It was a gift to my lovely lady for her birthday. That is not the amazing present I am speaking of. Not sure about you, but I could not afford a trip to the Bahamas for everyone I know. Although it would probably be received quite well by most, it would not be universal as some strange people do not like the Caribbean. This means I am going to give you a gift that is not only enjoyed by more people than a trip to the Bahamas, but it more rare and priceless these days. Fear not, it is one you can afford. It comes at a cost, but not one in dollar terms.
The present I am talking about is just that…being present! Giving your attention to someone. Actively listening to what they say. That is listening to learn and understand and not just to reply. Does this sound like something that isn’t that special? Next time you are out anywhere take a look at the people around you. How many of them are locked in eye contact, soaking in every word the person opposite them is sharing? How many of them are not even looking at that person, and are instead staring at the device in their hand? Care to put a percentage on those?
This post is not to sound cynical, but to prove how rare and special being truly present for someone is. Distractions are everywhere. Using our devices and social media has shortened our attention span to one slightly longer than that of a squirrel. Stealing the love of my life away from our chaotic life to one of tranquil paradise will mean little if we are not giving each other our time. That gift is one that everyone appreciates. Knowing what you have to say is important to the other party, in fact knowing you are important to the other party, is something that will be appreciated by everyone. We all deserve this, but it is a gift that is becoming harder to find. I invite you to be the giver of this great gift.
Whether it is for a birthday, anniversary or just because you want them to feel special, give the gift of your presence. Not your physical presence, but your mind, body and soul to the moments you are spending with that individual. Not only will it be a great gift in the moment, it will strengthen your relationships and give you knowledge you can use to provide other great gifts in the future. The more you know, the more impactful in their lives you can be.
Today is Valentine’s Day, so you know I have to talk about the love of my life, the beautiful Margie. When I read the quote above, I found it to be perfect. Love, at least the kind I am luck enough to have, is nothing short of magic. Forget about pulling a rabbit out of a hat! How about pulling the best version of me out of myself? That is an amazing magic trick! How about the ability to look beautiful in every picture! This is true if she has just woken up, she is being silly, or she is dressed up to go out. Always beautiful
Although I do love every curve on her beautiful figure, my favorite is definitely her smile. She has the most beautiful smile that can at once brighten your day and melt your heart. Knowing that I play a role in placing it there is one of the greatest rewards I experience in life. Still, just knowing her heart is happy, no matter what the reason, puts mine at peace. We make each other laugh more than most couples, and genuinely enjoy doing it. We also do not do it at the expense of each other, which seems to be a common malady these days. Giving each other the gift of humor to help each other make it through life is priceless.
Last post, I mentioned all of the gifts I received from my mother. This man is lucky enough to have two angels in his life. Margie, from the start, has pushed me outside of my comfort zone. My first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, has sold roughly 5000 copies. If it were not for her pushing me from the beginning, that number might be 5. Even promoting this blog and starting the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast, which you can stream just about anywhere, was in large part due to her encouragement and persistence.
She also brings the gift of her creativity to my life. For those of you who have read my second book, Living the Dream, you know that she took time out of her busy schedule to write the foreword. The gifts and love that she shares with me continues to grow every day. As we celebrate Valentine’s Day, we are going to the movies, which she loves, but we are seeing the new Bob Marley movie. She knows that I am a huge fan of the man and his music, so that is where we are going. This is what makes our love work so well.
You should certainly celebrate your love each and every day, but it does not hurt to take a day out of our busy, hectic lives to center that focus on each other. I would love to hear what you do to check in and make sure the focus stays on your partner and keeping your love healthy and happy.
Many things confuse my simple brain. For example, why do people so often trash public restrooms? Do they suddenly fly into a fit of rage when relieving themselves? Personally, that is when I tend to be the happiest. Maybe it is because there is no cameras in restrooms so they feel they can commit their crime without consequence? Anyone who understands the laws of the universe will realize how foolish that line of thinking is.
The other great question I have is why some people begin to treat others harshly when given a position of power? This really should be the opposite of what happens. With great reward comes great responsibility. Whether influence or power, we should use it for good. The more you have of either of those, the greater the opportunity you have to use them for good. There is never a time that you become important enough that kindness ceases to be a requirement. Quite the opposite is true. When you become more famous, or powerful, you have others looking up to you. It is then that your kindness can be appreciated by others.
When I become a famous best-selling author, I look forward to being able to help and inspire many others to do the same. I am doing that on a smaller scale now. That is another important fact that I do not happen to have a sign for. It is never too early to start practicing kindness. If you want to be charitable and think you have to wait until you win the lottery, that is simply not so. Donating a dime out of a dollar can be even more meaningful than a million out of ten million.
The takeaway today is this – it is never too early, and you are never too important to be kind. Be kind to everyone and everything you meet today. It will not only make the world a better place, especially for those you are kind too, but it will make your own heart a little happier and your own spirit a little brighter.
This may sound like a fatalistic post for uplifting Wednesdays, but it really is not. In fact, I debated titling this post “Everything is special” but decided on the one I did because it has a sense of urgency. Last week, we discussed how quickly things change and how the not so distant past can seem like a lifetime ago. Isn’t that true to some extent in your own life? I know it is in mine. Places you used to go are no longer there. Businesses you used to frequent have ceased operations. People sadly pass on. Animals become extinct.
Again,this is a little depressing, but it also provides us a sense of urgency. My friend Curtis gave me a great reminder about the power of being present. All too often we busy ourselves reliving memories and fail to pay attention to the ones we should be creating. Then, without a warning it seems, they too become memories. Consider this – each second of time is unique and will never occur again. The beautiful sunrise you are witnessing? Yes, the sun will rise again tomorrow, but it will look different than what you are seeing right now. That bouquet of flowers you received will be different than any you will get in the future.
One of the interesting things that I reflect on in life is how seemingly tragic world events change the way things are done. I recall what travel was like before September 11 of 2001. Recently, we all saw the effects Covid had on the way we socialize and do business. Life can change in an instant. Change is actually the only thing we can count on. That is why each moment is so precious. War has broken out in many places in the world and the lives of millions were upended ina heartbeat. The reverberations of that situation can be felt across the globe. Very few us could have predicted that was going to happen.
It doesn’t even have to be on a global scale. Think of all the people in your life. Above is a picture of my lovely lady and I. It was taken at my work’s holiday party. It was also a retirement party for one of my coworkers. That means it will be the last time he will be there as my coworker. Who knows if my work will have another holiday party or if this was the last one I will attend? A few years back during my open-heart surgery, it was almost the last time I spent with my lovely Margie. That story is shared in great detail in my book, The Beat Goes On, available on Amazon.
Challenges provide us great opportunity to see everything for the miracle it is. Recently, I shared the story about how my car was having trouble and my mother was giving me a ride to work. Although this proved to be far more stressful than we first thought, who knows when I will be able to share the ride and great conversation with my mother at 430am. Looking back, we had fun on my way to work. Who knows if those moments will ever happen again. I would much rather have a working vehicle, but the ride with my mom was a good memory.
Everything, and everyone, in life is fleeting. It may not seem like it, but as we discussed earlier, it can all change in an instant. Health is precious. Love is precious. So many things we can fail to appreciate until they are gone. Take a second an be present and grateful for everything in your life. Everything is a miracle. Everything is precious.
There is so much going on in this picture that gives clues to living an amazing life. At first glance, it may not seem so. Let us take a dive in to discover the secrets that are in this picture. Starting with the obvious – the saying in the picture. “Use Sunday to reconnect with a place from your past.” What a great idea! My mother and I often discuss things that we did that seem like a different lifetime ago. We used to go to a great encampment they held at the local VA grounds. That no longer occurs. We talk about restaurants we used to frequent that have went out of business. Then, after a few more sips of coffee, we talk about places we just haven’t visited in a long time for various reasons.
Reconnecting with some of these places could bring back some really interesting memories. It also helps you stay grounded. Connecting your present with your past can help us be both nostalgic as well as present. Reflecting on memories of the past and noting how life has changed can be insightful. Looking around to see how the place has changed can have us living in the present. When we reflect on memories there is one thing I find interesting. At the time they were being created, we usually never know they will become memories. We are just enjoying the moment. This is a reason why it is helpful to take pictures, especially now that they can be stored digitally. I find it also helps to use as many of our senses as we can. Soak up every moment of our lives. We never know which ones will become our favorite memories.
The other item is what the saying is printed on. It is a day-by-day motivational calendar. I purchased it while visiting the mall to see my friend Nick, who manages the coffee shop there. Every day it supplies an inspirational thought for me. That is one source of positive inspiration added to my life and all I have to do is tear off that day. Considering how many negative influences come into our lives, without any effort on our part, it benefits us greatly to add as many positive ones that do the same. There are apps that send motivational messages to your phone. There are affirmations you can listen to on YouTube. There are so many influences that we can add. This leads us to the final thing we will mention in this picture.
The last thing you might not have noticed in the first picture, is the hand that is holding the calendar. That hand belongs to my lovely lady, Margie. Recently, I saw a meme about how picking the right woman makes a big difference. I would like to change ‘woman’ to ‘partner’ as this holds true across gender. Margie was kind enough to take this picture because mine had a big shadow in it. Much like adding as many positive influences in your life, the same can be said for positive people. I enjoy hanging out with my mother and going for coffee. Speaking of which, my friend Nick and I are long overdue for getting together. Even at my day job, where people can be ‘sunshine challenged’ I seek out those who do have a brighter outlook. I feel we support each other. How about your life? Adding, and spending time with, as many positive people as you can will fill your life with more joy than you can do on your own. As a bonus, the more time you spend around positive people, the less time you have for those ’emotional vampires’ that suck the life out of your soul.
In this one picture, there are 3 ideas I put into action that helps me to live an amazing life. It was a powerful reminder. How about you? Share a picture of things that bring joy into your life and help you live an amazing life. When we share, we all benefit!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 