Tag: life purpose

WHILE IT IS IN YOUR POWER.

I cannot convey this point enough. Many of you who follow this blog, or know me in person realize this. In 2022 my life changed forever. I had open-heart surgery, died briefly and was brought back. That whole experience blessed me and taught me more than I ever thought it would. It not only changed my perspective of life, it changed my life’s mission as well. Let us quickly touch on all of these points and how my death can save your life.

From the time I was told I needed surgery until the surgery was scheduled was 2 months. This was done to make the most of the insurance company. A sad but necessary way of doing business. To say that a lot happened in those 2 months would be one of the greatest understatements. First, during a superhero film my beautiful Margie and I were attending I had a great epiphany in the men’s room. This could be the very last movie I had the chance to see with her. Death was a real possibility. It could be the last Thanksgiving, her birthday and Christmas we spent together. It could be the last time we ring in a new year together.

Shockingly, these realizations did not cause a feeling of fear. Instead, what I felt was a great sense of urgency. It felt like while I was there taking care of business in the gents, some divine power flipped over an hour glass and said “You have 2 months and….go!” It brought into focus what was really important in a hurry. How can I help the most people realize all they have to be grateful for in their lives on Thanksgiving. It is, after all, my favorite holiday. Even this blog was started on thanksgiving. How could I make Margie’s next birthday the best one she has ever had? Speaking of Margie, how can I convey my love for her in the way that she can understand and feel it the deepest? How could I do that with everyone in my life?

It was a moment of forced self-reflection. It did not involve trying to get material things or travel to specific places. No, what was really important was creating memories with those I cared about and making sure they knew how much I cared. Then, there were the thoughts about my life and the legacy I would leave behind. Did I do enough? What could I leave behind in the next 2 months? Could I write another book? Should I spend that time writing blogs or making YouTube videos? What should I say that will have the greatest, and longest lasting impact? All good questions.

When the surgery happened, it was the second wave of Covid, and I could have no visitors. Therefore that trip to the hospital could have been the last time I saw, and hugged my mother and Margie. The feeling I had watching the elevator doors close behind them as they left is too painful to describe. Then there was the strange feeling of realizing I had died and been brought back. I had more time.

Here is one of the most impactful things I had learned. We went to get lunch at a Panera after I was released from the hospital. I was warned that my emotions could be more intense after the surgery. This was also an understatement. As we entered the restaurant, a realization hit me. All of these people would die. It could be tomorrow, next week or years from now. We never know. So many of us never ask the tough questions the specter of death brings to light. Being faced with death is the one thing that has given me the most life.

Imagine what your life would be like if you were given a few months (or less) to live? Really imagine. Who would you want to spend time with? What would you want to do? What would be important to do? Once you have that answer, do that now! As Marcus Aurelius said, “Death hangs over you.” It hangs over us all. We never have as much time as we wish. We often do not have as much time as we think.

BEFORE IT EXPIRES! 😳

The other night I had a heartbreaking experience I am sure many of you have had. Reaching into my pocket, I found a rather good coupon. $10 off it said. It happened to be on a product I use, and was in current need of. While I was at the store, I placed the item in the cart and proceeded to the checkout. With the price of everything going up, I was happy to be saving that amount of money.

As the cashier scanned my items, I handed her the coupon. She scanned it and then looked up at me with a kind of look that was a mixture of shock and disappointment. “This coupon expired.” she stated. After a dramatic pause, she added “It expired last year.” Apparently I need to check my pockets more often. This valuable ten dollar offer was now just a useless piece of paper. Embarrassed, I just paid and left.

I thought about how many times Margie and I have scrambled to use coupons before they expire. Occasionally, even stocking up on an item just to take advantage of the money saving. Then I came across this quote and pondered how many of us realize our life, much like our coupons, have an expiration date. The tricky bit? We never know when that is.

We scramble to save a dollar off a gallon of milk, but do we work as hard to make the most of our life before it expires? If you had a date stamped on your backside that send when you expired, how long would you wait to start making the most of your life? Would you wait until the date was almost upon you to start acting? Would you start now and take the most advantage of it?

What is tragic is that far too many of us find ourselves in the situation that I did in the grocery store. We wanted to put our life to good use, but now it is expired. I have known many people who had great plans and ambitions, but never realized them before their expiration date. Les Brown says the richest place in the world is the grave yard. There you will find books never written, albums never recorded, love never expressed, and dreams never realized.

Don’t let your expiration date catch you by surprise. Make the most of your life today! Write that book, record that album, tell that special person you love them. Most of all, whatever it is, chase the dream. There are only so many more tomorrows.

SIMPLE STRATEGY FOR SUCCESS 🙌

Next to gratitude, which we discussed last post, clarity in one of the most powerful forces to improve your life. When you are clear as to where you want to go in life, you can always tell if you are getting closer or further away. Not sure of where you want to go in life? That can leave you feeling confused and that your life has no direction. I don’t know if you have ever felt that way, but I have and it is not any fun. How crazy is it to be unsure if your life is getting better or worse?

A clear purpose for your life actually reduces stress. Why? It can help you to better design the next steps and actions to take. Goals become easier to reach because they are attached to a bigger life purpose. Here is an important distinction. Goals and life purpose are two entirely different things. When we talk about life purpose, we are speaking of legacy. Why are you here? How do you want to be remembered when you are gone? How can you make the world a better place while you are here? These are the important questions to ask while you are here. They will give you the clarity you seek. Your life purpose is not something you can finish. Say you are a chef. Your purpose may be to supply the world with delicious food that brings smiles to people’s faces and joy to their stomachs. You will continue to do that with every meal you create, every cookbook you write or every cooking video you post. Maybe you are a future best-selling author who wants to bring joy to the hearts of millions. You will continue to do so with every book you write, every blog you post or every podcast episode you appear on.

As mentioned earlier, this also helps you come up with goals to accomplish. If you are a chef, maybe creating a cookbook would let people try creating your amazing recipes at home. If you make cooking videos, it will help them feel like you are in the kitchen with them. As long as you know it will help with your life mission to bring joy to the world through food. Gain clarity in your own life. It will bring you joy. It will bring the world joy.

THE VITAL FIRST STEP ☝️

Another great stoic quote! You may be thinking that you are not currently sailing to any port. In life, a ‘port’ can be any worthwhile destination. The greatest failure of modern humans is their lack of clarity on what they want out of life. If you ask someone what their goals are, they give you answers like “I want to be healthy, happy and make more money.” Sure, we all do. Those goals are generic and pretty much go for everyone.

The ‘port’ to which we are referring to is the overall purpose of your life. What are you here for? Some people say they are waiting to discover their purpose. As if life were going to drop down out of the sky and hand them a big sign telling them what they should be working towards. That isn’t going to happen and that is not how it works. We must decide what our purpose is. What sets our heart on fire with passion and desire? Here is a clue, it has to be something greater than ourselves.

Without clarity and direction in our life, any amount of good fortune will be wasted. Not to mention, the more clear we become in our purpose for life, the more likely we will be able to use any wind in life to assist us. Even the ones that seem to be blowing against us. Without a destination in life, we are not very likely to get far. In fact, we are most likely to spend our days filled with confusion and frustration. It will seem as if life is going in circles and we are getting nowhere.

Invest some time today to get perfectly clear what you want out of your life. It will be one of the most profitable investments you could make. It will not only help you take advantage of any good fortune in your life, it will help you reduce stress along the way.

TIME TO RECLAIM YOUR LIFE!💪

Whether you are 18 or 80, the time has come to reclaim your life! What we are talking about here is taking control of the inner game. The time for surrendering to your emotions or the expectations of others is over. The time has come to give up having worry over things we cannot control. What the world needs is you living the life you were born too. That is a life where your soul is on fire and you are burning bright with the light that is your truth.

Just like the mythical phoenix, it is your turn to rise from ashes of your former life to soar higher and accomplish more! Our planet is in desperate need of people living their passion and purpose. No longer can we have a population of mindless zombies chasing the brass ring. The media has us believing that happiness can only be found in material objects. Big Pharma is telling us that it is a Prozac deficiency. Even politicians, and certain religions, have us hating those who are different than us. Family and friends may try to pressure us to take paths in life that do not align with our values and spirit.

Reclaiming your life may sound like a large and complicated affair, but it is not. My upcoming fourth book will tackle this subject in great detail. Right now I would like to share a few crucial steps that you can take to begin the process of reclaiming your life. First, write down a description of what you want in your life and the direction you would like it to go. Just having this ‘north star’ in which to navigate your life by, will put you ahead of the majority of people in the world today. It will allow you to see right away if the actions you are taking, or about to take, will bring you closer to the life you want, or take you further away. It will also serve as a great reminder of the reason to get out of bed every morning.

Next, come up with a routine that will have you taking daily steps to create the life you do not need a vacation from. This can sound like a near impossibility, but it is a lot closer than you think. Creating a routine, and taking small but measurable steps consistently will allow you to continually get closer to that life you only dreamed of. More importantly, it will allow you to enjoy the process. Doing so will assist you in maintaining the self-discipline to stay true to the process you have set in place. Knowing every day that dream life is getting closer will have feed the flames of passion and that fire in your heart.

Whether you take these two steps, or something entirely different, I implore you to take action to reclaim your life from a world that is trying to steal in from you. It is you who deserve to wake up every morning on fire with excitement for the day ahead. This fall my fourth book will give you a customizable plan to do just that. Until then, feel free to share any tools and strategies that you use, or will use to reclaim your life, and like the Phoenix, rise from ashes of mediocrity to live an amazing life.

DO NOT DIE BEFORE YOU ARE BURIED 💀

I have always liked this quote by Ben Franklin. Yes, we are on an informal basis like that. Actually, Ol’ Ben was quite a party animal, but that is a post for a different day. What does he mean about Dying at twenty and not being buried until we are seventy five? Does that mean they leave us out long past our shelf life? No. What it means is that we stop living a life of purpose and passion and settle into a life of mediocrity. It is the “Wake up, pay bills and die.” mentality.

My fourth book will deal with this in depth. Until that wonderful piece of literature is published, let us have a brief discussion on the subject. Does life feel like a chore to you? Are you busy just trying to survive, or are you focused on thriving? Whether you are 18 or 80, the time is now to focus on living. Ask yourself, how many times a day does your soul feel on fire with the passion of life? Many people think this is an unrealistic goal. That, in itself, tells you how far removed from truly living they are.

It may be quite a high standard to walk around in a state of bliss, although there are those who manage. Your life should, and quite frankly must, contain moments of this. If not, you are not really living. As someone who works 45 hours a week at his day job, writes a daily blog, is working on his fourth book, hosts a podcast and is a DJ on Sunday, I can understand that quite often responsibilities can take up quite a bit of our lives. Sneaking in reasons to be full of passion is what makes life feel alive.

I recommend creating as many of these moments as you can. One of the best ways to do so is to be fully present. In a world where more of us stare at our phone than out in the world, this alone could make a huge difference. Spending some time in nature revives the soul in many ways as well. Having a purpose bigger than a paycheck is not only a good idea, it is vital to creating a rewarding and fulfilling life. Let us start living more, and let us start doing so today.

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THE SECRET TO MAKING IT THROUGH ANYTHING ♥️

Life can really take us on a crazy ride sometimes! We can face some very difficult and interesting challenges. How do some people seem to keep going and some find it more difficult? A good deal of it breaks down to why they believe they are here. Maybe you are looking to take control of your health after years of neglect? This can be quite a difficult challenge. Especially the older we get. Maybe you want to fit into your jeans or look better at the beach. That may be enough to get you into the gym. When the doctor comes into the room and tells you that unless you make some changes, you are likely to suffer a heart attack, that will have you cleaning out the cabinets and walking to work.

It is not just the quest of improving ourselves in which a ‘why’ becomes helpful. Making through a challenge can often only be done with a strong ‘why’. The greatest example I can think of is a loss of a loved one. We may often feel like there is no way that we can see living our life without them. Knowing that there are others who both love us, and would feel the same about our loss, can keep us waking up every morning.

This is not to say that life will not be a struggle sometimes. That it can feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders. What a strong ‘why’ can do, is help us carry that weight as we work on gaining the strength to be able to do so regularly. It is good to have one overarching ‘why’ in life, but we can have several others to keep us going.

In my own life, my ‘why’ is to positively impact the lives of millions of individuals around the globe. In my personal life, much of my ‘why’ revolves around being the best man for my beautiful lady, Margie. It is being a good example of how to treat your lady for anyone who is watching. It is living up to the standards that I have set for myself. Did I mention it is helpful to have many reasons to become all that you can be? How about you? Have you made sure you have enough, and strong enough, reasons for your life? Work on them today. They just might end up saving your life.

DO IT OR DIE! 😳

What a title! What could possibly be so important that if we did not do it we would die? Is there really such a thing? The short answer is ‘Yes.’ Do not worry, this is not like one of those social media posts that claim if you don’t share it with all of your friends, coworkers and the neighbor’s dog that you will be cursed with 10 years bad luck. In fact, this is actually backed by science. You will not fall over dead when you walk out the door tomorrow if you do not do this either. What you will do, sadly, is you will call it quits several years before those we do put this simple tool to work for them will. Keep reading to find out how you can not only add more years to your life, but ultimately more life to your years.

According to Equifax, most people live 10-20 years after they retire. That is a pretty good margin. How can we be more likely to lean towards the 20 year side and not the 10 year side? I was having this very discussion with my coworker, Rob, the other day. According to neuropsychologists, having a sense of purpose is one of the greatest predictors of health and wellness in old age. Let that soak in for a while. For those of us who are picturing just laying on the beach everyday sipping cocktails (certainly something to do when retired) there must be more to life. Those who wake up with a purpose after retiring, have reduced stress levels, are in better physical health and age more successfully. Think of it. Less stress, a stronger immune system and a greater sense of happiness. Isn’t that what we all want when we retire?

Work, as trying as it can be, gives us a reason that we must get out of bed in the morning. We have to pay the bills. We have to earn money to go on vacation or to take the lady out for dinner. Whatever it is you are working towards. Sometimes it is working towards retirement. A lot of people are shocked when they get there. It is as if they worked their whole life towards something, and now that they have it, they are not sure what to do with it. If you are thinking that you do not need a purpose, consider this fact. According to a recent study of retirees, having a purpose lowered their risk of death by 15.2%. This held true across different races, religions and ethnicity.

We have discovered that having a purpose not only increases the length of your life, but the quality of it as well. This does not mean you have to work until you die. We ended the last post with a quote from the great Howard Thurman. We included two more from him in this post. I think they give us the answer to living a long and fulfilling life. That is finding what sets our soul on fire and doing more of that. It could be working in the garden. It could be joining a book club and discovering great new books, as well as friends. For me, I know retirement will consist of continuing this blog, writing books and producing episodes of the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. How about you? What will your grand purpose be when you retire?

Added bonus here. You do not have to wait until retirement to reap all of these benefits. Find something that sets your soul on fire now! At the very least, start looking for that. Once you find it, and start enjoying it, you will experience the wonderful benefits we mentioned in this blog. I know after a hard day working my day job, writing is as much of a release as it is anything else. I love exploring nature and going to the gym as well. Coffee with friends provides interesting conversations. Time spent chasing dreams with the love of my life never fails to be exciting. When I retire, it will be more a transition than an end.

A DIFFICULT DECISION, AN EASY LIST

Here is a simple strategy I highly suggest all of us should do. It takes one of the more difficult decisions we have to make and turns it into a fun activity. What is this decision? Better yet, what is this activity? Let us take a look.

Have you ever felt stuck at your job? Have you ever found yourself asking, “Isn’t there something better for me?” Maybe you are one of the lucky people who really enjoy your job. Still, you feel there is something that could be more fulfilling? Something that is more in line with your life’s purpose. What then?

I often find myself sitting in my car outside of work asking these very questions. That actually is a picture of me sitting in my car. Here is what I suggest we do. Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle so you create two columns. On the top of one, write “things I really enjoy” or something like that. On top the other write “things that suck my soul” or something like that.

Now simply list everything that you do that really brings a smile to your face and heart. In my case, drinking coffee, listening to classic jazz, taking to people about themselves and encouraging them. List as many as you can think of. They don’t have to make sense to anyone but you.

Now, on the other side, list all of the things that seem to drain the very life from your soul. For me, it is being around drunk people, negativity, and being outside in the cold. Again, they don’t have to relate to each other. Just any thing that you really don’t enjoy.

Take a look at your list. The agragete of which should hint as to what kind of occupation may serve you well. Even if you want to keep the job you have now, it may give you an idea of a hobby or side hustle that could give you more emotional fulfillment. In my case, drinking coffee while talking to, and encouraging, others has me thinking talk show host would be the perfect job. Sadly, I can’t walk into a major network and get my own talk show. What I could do, is start my own podcast! I created the Living The Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. I highly recommend checking it out wherever you stream content.

The second list will give you an idea of what to minimize in your daily experience. Reducing these can increase your feelings of vitality and life satisfaction. Writing it down is the key. If we try bouncing this around in our noggin, we will just end up creating more stress for ourselves.

I’ll be interested in hearing what some of the things on your lists are, and what career, side hustle or hobby you come up with. Please feel free to share yours in the comments!

THE POWER OF PURPOSE

Baby swan

This is a subject that I feel has been written about at great length. There is great scientific evidence that having a purpose does great things for your life. It can reduce stress. It can help guide you as to what actions you should take. It can also help sustain you when things are not going so well. In my own life, I have even felt a sense of energy and resilience when keeping my purpose in mind. This is why you owe it to yourself to spend some time on finding your true purpose. What we are going to look at today can take anywhere from a few seconds, to a few minutes. Nothing more than that. It will be easy and it will be fun. It will also give you a taste of all the wonderful benefits we mentioned above.

As we can see in the picture of the baby swan above, it is walking with a sense of purpose. One of the most difficult things about finding your purpose, is that people look at it as this larger-than-life activity. It doesn’t have to be. There are two important things to consider when finding your purpose. One, your purpose can change. You don’t have to worry about choosing the wrong purpose or making a mistake. You can always decide to tweak your purpose as you, and your life change. You can even decide to scrap it and choose a new one. You will still move further and faster than going through life without one. There is a fun little exercise you can do while you are pondering what your life purpose may be. It takes no time at all and will add a great deal of positive things to your life.

The secret to helping your mind get used to living with purpose is to start out small. Pick a daily purpose. It could be to clean a section of the house. A good purpose could be to reach out to someone you know is hurting just to offer them support. Hopefully, everyone in your life is happy and not hurting. If this is the case, you could even send a card, or even an email or message, just to say you were thinking of them and appreciate them. Your purpose may be to bring more joy into a friendship or relationship. Perhaps today’s purpose is to give 110% on the job site. There are more spiritual/emotional ways to go about it. Your purpose could be to just spend quality time with friends and be fully present, like these ducks and birds were doing when I happened upon them. Devoting time to self-care can be a great purpose. Spending 30 minutes with a good cup of tea or coffee and a great book can do wonders for the spirit. The more you practice these ‘daily purposes’ the easier it is to live a life that is both rewarding as well as fulfilling.

I would love to hear more about what activities you decide to choose as your daily purpose. Are you a parent that decides to impart one item of life knowledge with your child? Was your purpose to do one thing to improve your relationship with your boss? Maybe you would like to take a step to help local wildlife? I would love to hear what you decide. Your ideas could help spark an idea in someone else. Who knows what that might lead to? As a bonus, when you do these ‘little’ life purposes, you will not only see one aspect of your life improve daily, you will also have a daily sense of accomplishment.