Tag: Kindness

IT IS NOT WHAT YOU SAY, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT!

This is my favorite book. Read it no less than 7 times. Every time that I read it I either find something new I missed, or am reminded of some important aspect I forgot. One of the main lessons in this book it how you speak with and treat others. Yes, some of it has to do with getting them over to your side of an issue, but that is not the entire lesson. The core principle is treating others with dignity and respect.

Last post we discussed the idea of emotional maturity and self-control. What I see lately is not only a total lack of those two qualities from those in power, but a praising and celebration of treating others poorly. This not only confuses me, but saddens me as well. When, as a society did we praise people for lack of dignity and respect when it comes to dealing with others? We have people in the highest positions of power calling those that disagree with them, or sometimes even question them, terrible names followed by rants attacking their personal character.

They say that the empty can rattles the most. That could not be more true. If someone were emotionally mature, or even have an intellectual point to make in disagreement, they would not take the juvenile path of name calling and insulting. Not to mention to me, what is the greatest point we should ponder in all of this. When we call each other names or put someone down, especially on a public stage, we have no idea how harmful those comments can be. We never know what people are fighting in their lives. With the cost of living so high and the fear of violence as high as it has even been, it is more important now than ever to treat each other with courtesy and respect. That does not mean you have to agree with them. What it does mean is that we need to be emotionally mature enough to disagree with someone without acting like an undisciplined child.

What would we do if the insults and names that we lash out with is what puts someone over the edge? Can you imagine if your childish behavior lead to the loss of a life? Maybe it was the last loss of hope in humanity someone was clinging to? There is no reason to treat someone in this fashion. We can learn to respectfully disagree. Perhaps everyone might give this book a cursory glance.

MOST DANGEROUS FORM OF BLINDNESS

This is one of those post that do not seem like should have to be written. For most of you reading a site like this, they don’t. Not that long ago a coworker was lamenting to me the difference between two religious groups. “Why can’t the one just understand their religion is the wrong one?” he asked. You may already guess which group his beliefs line up with. I inquired if it had ever occurred to him that the other group may just as fairly ask the same question. “No, of course not because their beliefs are wrong.” He made this statement while looking at me as if I was being willfully ignorant. When I encountered as to why his beliefs were correct and they other group was not, he said because his religion said so.

I would imagine whatever faith you belong to, they have a vested interest in convincing you that it is the one true religion. It is certainly ok for someone to think and have a strong conviction that is the case. What is not fair is to go around judging others who feel the same about their beliefs. If we do our research, I am sure there are belief systems that are older than ours. There are ones that may be followed by more people. Our faith is largely determined by our geographic location and that of our ancestors. It would make sense that people who live in a different part of the world may have different beliefs. Do you know what? That is ok. As long as we teach our children, both by words and actions, that treating all people with dignity and respect is what matters most.

Do not be blind to the fact that others have an equal right to have a belief and conviction in their faith as do we. It very well might be different and that is ok as well. What is not ok is to treat each other harshly or even violently over those differences. You can have respectful differences and still love your neighbor. That is part of what being the best version of yourself is all about.

THE ANGEL IN THE COFFEE SHOP

The world can sure seem a crazy place these days. It would seem the news coming at us from every direction can be of wars, political division, or some other personal or global tragedy. Even conversations with friends can often include one, or several, of these. That is why it is so appreciated when someone comes into our lives and brings a little magic. These people are what I believe are angels.

Whether you believe in angels in the divine sense, or can just acknowledge that people who bring love and joy to others are a special group, there are angels among us. Every morning I can look across the table and see one. My lovely lady has brought more into my life than I can convey. More importantly, she has prevented a lot of bad things. We will touch more on that in tomorrow’s post. I want to share a story about a lady who blessed not only my mother’s day, but the day of everyone who happened to be with us at the coffee shop that day.

As I mentioned, my mother and I were enjoying time at the local coffee shop we both like. It had been quite some time since we got together due to unforeseen circumstances. We were both looking forward to some great conversation and a little relaxing time with a cup of coffee. As we were enjoying ourselves, in walked one of the workers, Dana. She was not working at the moment. Just came for a beverage herself. What she brought with her changed the day for everyone there. She had brought several roses and proceeded to give them to all of the ladies, workers and customers that were in the coffee shop that day.

When a stranger comes up and hands you a rose for no reason other than to brighten your day, it does just that. Not only did she put smiles on the faces of those who received the flowers, but everyone witnessing this act of selfless kindness. In a mad world, these random acts of kindness are angelic! Everyone left the coffee shop with a little more joy in their heart and a lot more smiles on their face. What prompted this young lady to be so kind? I am not sure, but I can tell you in improved the day for everyone present!

Here is the thing about Dana’s actions – it is something any of us could do. The actions themselves are made special by the fact that not many people have the thought or motivation to do such things. Here is the exciting part. We all can. That’s right! Dana reminded all of us that we can be angels in someone, or anyone’s life. You could bring in treats for your coworkers. You could make a donation to a charity you believe in. You could leave a larger than normal gratuity for a server that you know could use it.

With the holidays coming up, there will be plenty of opportunities to commit random acts of kindness. Something to keep in mind is that this is often the hardest time of the year for many. Your act of kindness may be the greatest gift given to someone. What is stopping us from being angels? A little selfless love for our fellow humans and a few random acts of kindness.

LOOK AROUND YOU… THEN HELP 🫂

Last post we mentioned the quote from Tony Robbins that “What is wrong is always available. So is what is right.” Some of us have a challenge developing a grateful mindset. Doing so is the secret to living an amazing life. One of the easiest ways of doing this is to look around at the lives of those less fortunate. We do not have to look very far. The news is full of tragedy of both a personal and geographical nature. It blows my mind how upset with life some people can be. They lament how unfair life is or how hard they have it. If you can read these words, you have it better than millions of others. You are literate. That means you have the potential to learn just about anything. You have access to the internet. Which again means you can learn just about anything.

Gandhi’s thought above is a really bold statement. The late Greg Plitt, who continues to inspire, said “If you feel unmotivated to change your life, take a walk through the cancer ward at a children’s hospital.” That is an uncomfortable statement. The reason that it is so uncomfortable is that it forces us to realize how much greater our challenges can be. This is not to say whatever you are going through is not tough. Many of you are facing challenges greater than anything I have ever faced. It just reminds us that there are others who are struggling worse than us and could use our support and compassion.

Sticking with the gent from India, this is a great next step. When we see those folks who remind us that our situation could be worse. We should reach out and lend a hand. It is what will not only make their challenge a little less. It will help us gain the knowledge that even in our most challenging of times, we can be of service to others. We not only can be, but we should be. It is in doing so that we often discover our greatest gifts and talents. This can give us the confidence and purpose to make it through our own challenges. It is a win/win situation. It is how the world should be.

WHY BE KIND?

In a fast-paced world that is often very short on positivity, this is so important. We cannot tell who is suffering and who is not. It is not only a great idea, but I think being kind is our moral obligation to take care of each other. The only way that we can turn this world into a more loving and compassionate place is by being so ourselves. You cannot legislate compassion. You cannot decree it. You have to practice it.

My life mission is to leave the world a better place than I found it. To that end, I try to spread kindness wherever I go. The sad fact is that I am only one man, and can only physically be in one place at a time. I say ‘physically’ because with technology, I have the ability to spread words of encouragement and motivation to all the corners of the world. This website has been viewed in over 200 countries and on all 7 continents. While you might not be interested in growing a blog, podcast or YouTube channel, there are still great opportunities to spread kindness.

Many of you reading this have social media of one kind or another. Do you go there just to complain or post pictures of vacation? Why not mix in a message of encouragement and positivity? The world needs it now more than ever! How about positing positive things on other people’s pages? How many of us do that? A few posts ago we discussed how this habit can serve both us and them. A few simple world of appreciation or encouragement can go a long way. Think of how great it would be to inspire everyone who read what you wrote?

Another way to do so is to empower others to spread kindness. Helping others to get out of the world’s spell of seeing the worst in things and people is a precious gift! It is like planting seeds of kindness and compassion that will continue to grow and spread! These are the ways we can truly change the world. Will you join us?

NEVER STOP BEING THAT PERSON 💯

Here is something that rings true. You will never know the effect of every bit of kindness you have shown. This should not stop you from being kind. On the contrary. It should encourage you to know that you positively impact far more lives than you will ever know. Your actions, be they good or bad, can have a lingering impact years after they were committed.

Knowing that what you say or do can affect people’s lives for years, if not longer, should motivate you to be the best human you can. That small word of encouragement could help someone make it through a trying time years down the road. That harsh criticism can prevent someone from becoming all that they could be.

Knowing this, we should plant all the seeds of kindness, compassion and encouragement we can. We should do so to as many people as we can. We should also guard against speaking negative unless it is absolutely necessary. We make a difference whether we know it or not. Let us make sure it is a good one.

WHY YOU GOT ANOTHER DAY. 😊

Sit with this thought a minute. You might very well be the answer to someone else’s prayers. On my YouTube, which will be updated soon, I end each video with the line, “Remember, the light at the end of the tunnel may be you.” It is a line I stole from an Aerosmith song, but I really like the message behind it.

We can get caught up in our own drama so often we forget this wonderful quote from Einstein. When arguably the smartest man to live tells you that we are here to serve others, you might want to pay attention. Don’t get me wrong, it is easy to get lost in our problems. I have found when this happens, the best way out is to help someone else with their problems. It not only provides perspective, but a sense of purpose.

I often share the great reminder that my friend Kaylene gave me to take the focus off of myself and consider how I can help others. It takes a true friend to remind you of that when you are in the middle of a meltdown. Next time you find yourself down and out, remember you might have been given another day because someone else needs you. Work on finding out who that is!

A LOT OF PEOPLE NEED THIS! 😊

Today is Monday. It is a tough day for a lot of people. One of the best things we can do is be kind to them. How can you be kind to someone today? Let’s share all the ways in which we can show love and generosity to others?

HEY YOU! JOHNNY APPLESEED! 🍎🍏

Have you ever heard of Johnny Appleseed? This may surprise many of you, but he was a real person. His name was John Chapman. He was an American nurseryman. Meaning he looked after young plants, not young humans. He was famous for introducing large parts of North America to trees grown from apple seeds. He was a very successful business man who ended up owning over 1200 acres of land by the time of his death. He shared his knowledge and seeds with many different people. He would plant a nursery, move on and come back a few years later to check on it. Cute story, but what does that have to do with living an amazing life?

We can be our own Johnny (Or Janie) Appleseed. What we can do is spread seeds of inspiration, hope and empowerment. I use the example of Johnny Appleseed, and planting seeds in general for 2 very important reasons. First, we must keep in mind no matter how pure our intentions, we should not try to change other people. Planting a seed is just that. You give them the opportunity to let it grow within themselves. What they do with it is their responsibility. They can water or fertilize it, or they can let it die. All of that is up to them. We must keep this perspective to help us from becoming disillusioned when our efforts to help someone improve their life do not seem to be working. We are planting a seed. Different seeds grow at different rates. It has a lot to do with both the seed itself, as well as the environment. The same can be said with the seed of self-improvement, encouragement or whatever else you are planting.

That leads us to our second reason for using this metaphor. You may want to stop by after some time and see how the seed you planted is coming along. If it does not seem to be blossoming, there may be several reasons. It may be growing slowly. It could use some extra help, or just some extra time. Maybe it did not take root at all? You may need to plant some more seeds or find more fertile ground. Just remember, the more seeds you plant, the more likely they are to grow. Spread the seeds of love, kindness and compassion wherever you go. You could even wear a pot on your head like Johnny Appleseed if you think it would help.

IT SAYS A LOT ABOUT YOU

Have you ever given much thought about how you make others feel? It is my mission in life to leave the world a better place than I found it. When Margie and I DJ together, I tell her my three goals with everyone who walks in the door is to have them laugh, feel a little bit better about themselves then when they walked in. If it is a couple, I want them to be just that little more in love with each other when they leave us. To me, making someone feel good is one of the best rewards in life. How about you?

In a world where it seems everyone is trying to be heard, how many of us are listening to each other? Sarcasm seems to be the order of the day. People try to get a laugh, often at the expense of other people’s feelings. Many people lack the basic refinement skills. Do you consider how what you are going to say may affect another person? If you do, is it to uplift, empower and encourage them? Can you imagine if we all made that our goal? Today, think of how your conversation will affect those you share it with. Do your best to lighten the load of all of those you encounter. I would love to hear a story about how someone made your day!