Tag: Jamaica

NEVER STOP DOING THIS! ✋️

One of the saddest things that seems to happen as we age is that we lose an appreciation for the magic and beauty of life. It is no surprise. When we are young, most of the things we are exposed to offer an encouraging motif. Think of children’s programing. Most of it is a blend of encouragement of teaching and encouraging. I recall shows like Sesame Street and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood when I was young. I learned a lot, but there were also positive messages about myself, others and the world around me.

What happens as we get older? What we are exposed to takes a decidedly negative shift. News, crime shows, content on the internet and even that sent to our phones. Is the answer to stop using technology? Limiting our use of it may help somewhat, but that will not save us from interacting with other people. What are these other people exposed to? That’s right. The same negative influences we just mentioned. If you even attempt to be a light in this dark world, you will often be looked at as strange, weird or delusional. People will tell you things such as “You are looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.” or my favorite, “You just have your head in the sand. Can’t you see how bad the world is?”

What can we do to remedy this malady? Start doing something we may have stopped doing in childhood. That is looking for the beauty and magic that is all around us! It may not get the press and attention, but it is there. On social media, try subscribing to positive news stories and motivational pages. On your cell phone, download apps that send you motivational quotes everyday. These things really do exist! As for the sunshine-challenged people we share the planet with? Know most of them have just lost their ability to see the magic all around them. When they give you a crazy look or attack you, pity them. There life is one stuck in the darkness. In addition, add people who have the opposite mindset. Spend as much time around them as possible!

When you are looking to improve your life, it is always easer to add the positive than to eliminate the negative. You might want to read that line again. If you are trying to eat healthier, it would be easier to add a healthy meal than to starve yourself of meals that are not so healthy. The more you fill up on healthy food, the less room you will have for junk food. The same is true with everything in life. The more time you spend reading or listening to something inspiring is that much less time you could find yourself exposed to negativity. Adding smiles? Less time frowning. One minute of laughter? 60 seconds less of anger!

In regards to today’s post, spend more time actively looking for beautiful things in life. The more time you spend doing so, the less time you will spend noticing and dwelling on the negative. That doesn’t mean you are ‘burying your head in the sand’ and pretending they don’t exist. No, you are simply choosing not to dwell on them. As an example, above is my coffee as it was served to me at the pick up window at Starbucks. Not sure which employee took the time to do this, but it added a little brightness to my day. As I was in that sunny mood, I noticed the dandelion growing through a crack in the pavement right next to a dumpster. Proof that there is always a little light in the darkness. When we are children, we don’t have to look for the magic. It seems to show up at every turn. As adults, we need to train ourselves to get back to that. This may mean a little concentrated effort searching for the beauty in life. Done enough, it will start to show up in your life everywhere.

Another great idea is to keep images around you that remind you of the beauty you have and are currently experiencing in your own life. Above is a sample of mine. Great times with the beautiful love of my life, Margie. My mom celebrating Octoberfest. There is fun times watching a pig race at the Wisconsin State Fair and a very beautiful and loving sentiment that Margie wrote in the sand while we were enjoying time away in Jamaica. This not only reminds me of the beauty and magic in my life, it adds what could be the most powerful thing to create an amazing life. That one thing is gratitude. How could I not be grateful for all of these things? Being grateful and looking for all the beauty that is around us will positively transform our lives. Next post we will learn how to take all of this information and not only help others transform their lives, but create an almost automatic way to fill our lives with these things! Please come back tomorrow to learn all of that!

YOU WERE NOT MADE TO🚫

For those of you following this blog recently, you know that I have just returned from a week-long vacation to the sunny island country of Jamaica. What a fun time I had with my lovely lady, Margie. Today is my first full day back. Tomorrow I return to my day job at the Post Office. It was my first real vacation in 4 years and the first time I have taken a full week off of everything since…well…I can’t even remember when.

Ironically, when I was looking for things to write about, I came across this picture. It reminded me of something I think we could all benefit from. Stress, anxiety and overwhelm seem to be the status quo these days. Especially in “developed” countries. I put that word in quotes because we must ask ourselves what really is developed. Sure, our technology might be advanced. Does that make up for the lack of low-tech enjoyment? Our productivity might be at record levels, but what about the self-care that we all seem to sacrifice to get ahead? If our work output is developed, does that even matter when our spirit is not? It is time to change the focus.

Take the first item on this list. Humans were not meant to sit at a desk from 9 to 5. We really were not. We are meant to be physically active creatures. We were meant to move. Not only does physical exercise help reduce stress and release natural feel-good chemicals in the brain, it helps prevent and reverse many of the health conditions we all suffer from. You don’t have to slave in the gym for an hour, although I enjoy the feeling afterward. You can incorporate walks after dinner, bike rides with friends or even creating a dance routine to your favorite song when nobody is home. Moving helps us both mentally and physically.

The answer must be more relaxing right? The answer to that is both yes and no. While taking some time to unwind is something we should all invest in, how we do so becomes very important. Coming home to relax and watch a little television or a movie is not a bad thing. Bing watching for several hours every night is not healthy. Not only does it deprive us of the movement that is so valuable that we mentioned above, but it deprives us of time to accomplish things that will give us a feeling of pride and self-confidence. Again, this is not to say we should never relax with our favorite streaming service, just that we should do so with moderation. We should also mix in reading our favorite book, spending time with friends, taking a leisurely walk in nature and other relaxing options.

How about only exploring the world only 2 weeks a year? As discussed earlier, I am as guilty of this as anyone else. We need to get away and experience other cultures and people as often as we can. Not only will this broaden our knowledge of people and their circumstances, it may shed new light on our own lives. Look at this beautiful sunset picture I took over the ocean. A scene like that refreshes the soul. Talking with many of the Jamaican people, I learned that they were truly happy with a life that included a lot less than I was used to having. How did they do that? By focusing on being grateful for what they had. Seeing the poverty that many of the islands people lived in, reminded me to be grateful for all that I have. Even just hearing what is important to them and to their families allowed me to see life in a completely different light. Their friendly hospitality everywhere we went was amazing.

How about creativity? Adults seldom, if ever, spend time on creative pursuits. I believe this is for one of two reasons. First, they view such endeavors as wasted time. What does coloring a picture accomplish? I will tell you what it accomplishes. It helps save your brain from a meltdown! That is why I am happy to see the popularity of ‘adult coloring books’. Why do more people not do this? I think another reason is that adults are afraid of not doing things perfectly. If they look worse than their neighbor, they think they have failed. Not true. Picasso had people with square noses and he was considered a great success. The point is to just have fun and let lose. Keep that right side of your brain healthy. If I had to worry about being better than my neighbor, I would never do much. Margie is a very accomplished artist and can do almost any art thing better than I can. Still, I understand that we all have our own unique talents and shine in our own way. Speaking of Margie, she provides another clue to maintaining a creative outlet – surround yourself with creative people. The other night at dinner she stared at her blank placemat and exclaimed, “I need crayons!” She was serious. You need someone like that.

This plays into our last point. Not to have all your aspirations beaten out of you. In a world of online critics, this can be more difficult than ever. Remember this, someone who is truly happy with themselves will never criticize others. One of the most difficult critics to defeat is the one between your own ears. I remember when I thought about starting a blog, writing my first book, starting a YouTube channel or starting a podcast, I did my best to talk myself out of it. Luckily for me, I also had people in my life that pushed the issue. You want to write a book? Give it a shot! You want to become a fashion designer? Try putting together a few outfits. We function best when we are pursuing a dream. Never give up on yours!

TAKE IT WITH YOU 🧳

As you read this, I’m heading back to Wisconsin from Jamaica 🇯🇲. It is a sad day for me as I love the warmth, sun and people of this island. We made many good friends here. We had a few adventures. We ate lots of good food. Most importantly, we made lots of good memories.

The important thing is trying to figure out how to take all of this back home with us. We made friends with another couple who live not far from us and I am going to send them one of my books when I return. We took lots of pictures that will help us recall the fun we had. Margie even bought me a fun matching hat and shirt that I will wear and recall this fun trip.

Like the first picture says, it is what is in your heart that matters most. That is why I feel it is important to have a plan for any major event. Know what you want to take away in your heart. The romantic drawing in the sand has been erased by the tide, but the feeling I had when I saw it coming out of the ocean is fresh in my heart. It is these sort of memories one should include as often as you can in life.

SOAK IT ALL IN

As I write this, I am in vacation in Negril Jamaica. Above is a Latte made by one of the employees here at the resort. It was one of the best I have ever had. As I sat in the large lobby enjoying it, the thought occurred to me that for me, being in the tropics, enjoying a great coffee with the lady I love was close enough to perfect. For a few minutes I sat and just soaked it all in.

This is the view from where we ate lunch. Another moment of soaking it all in. You never know when life, or even your vacation, can go sideways. You need to have these moments of peace and perfection to fall back on. Make sure you soak in the beauty of as many moments in life as you can. Until next time my friends, keep Living your amazing life. 😀

MID-WEEK SMILE 😃

As the stress of the week finds us today, let us change our focus to what we have to smile about. There is always something, somebody or somewhere to be grateful 🙏 for.

Wayne Dyer famously said, “when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.” Sit with that quote for a moment. It really is true. Do you ‘have to go to work’, or do you ‘get to go to work’? You are employed when many are not. It may not be your dream job, but you can earn income while looking for your dream job. You ‘have to pay the rent’ or you ‘get to pay the rent? Many people, in many areas of the world, would give anything to have a warm safe place to call home.

What is your reason to smile today? Maybe even write it down? Mine is that in 4 weeks my beautiful love and I will be taking our first real vacation in 4 years! This comes along with many things to be grateful for! I would LOVE to hear your reason to smile today!

GO THERE NOW!🌴🏝🦩

Above is a partial list of countries who viewed my blog yesterday. Circled, you will see one of the countries I long to visit. That is the Seychelles. Any relaxing tropical local works for me. It does my heart good to see those in such locations are enjoying my writing. Perhaps a book signing could be in the future?

Traveling to tropical destinations is something I do not get to do as often as I would like. The above picture, which graces the back of my second book, was taken in Runaway Bay Jamaica. Margie and I certainly enjoyed our time there.

If you can’t runaway to the islands like some rockstar or internet model, what is the next best thing? I have two suggestions. First, enjoy what is close to home. The above picture I took on a walk through the park with my mother. Getting out in nature brings peace to the soul.

What happens when the snow comes and the temperatures drop? Here comes my next suggestion. Go there in your mind! Take a little mental vacation. There are plenty of fun, free videos on YouTube. I even have one of those VR headsets that make you feel like you’re there. Grab some vacation brochures. Check out their websites! Take a little mental vacation. It will help recharge your mind and your spirit.

THE TIME TO PREPARE IS NOW!😲

Above is a picture of the Mitchell Park Domes. They are 3 giant green houses, for lack of a better description. They are only a few miles from my house. They are an important part of today’s post. Before we get to what the 3 giant glass domes have to do with living an amazing life, let me share a personal fact with you. I strongly dislike the winters here in Wisconsin. It gets so cold some animals sleep through it, many leave the state entirely. Unfortunately, at this time, I am not an animal that fits into either category. Therefore, I must make certain adjustments. This post will focus around that. Just like a lot of what we learn here, it can be adapted to your situation.

The winters here also lack sunshine and things that are…well…alive. The trees look like dead sticks, all the plant life is brown and shriveled up. I don’t mean to sound negative, especially after last post about the power of positive thinking. These are facts and they can make it difficult for someone, like myself, that has Seasonal Affective Disorder. That is where the lack of sun and such throws your hormones all out of wack and can cause feelings of depression. This used to pose quite a challenge for someone who writes blogs and books about living an amazing life. Especially since winter seems to last roughly 9 months here. Then I began to put into action many of the things I learned and began to teach. I would love to share with you what I came up with for my situation, in hopes you can apply it to your own.

I realized one of the most dangerous things about Seasonal Affective Disorder, or any condition, is the feeling of hopelessness you can fall into. Although I am not able to move south for the winter just yet, I realized there are other things I can do. Plan a vacation to the sunny Bahamas with my beautiful Margie, like I am this winter. That helps. Let us face it a tropical vacation is not always in the cards. That is where The Domes, as they are locally known, fit into the picture. As you can see in the picture above, they have living plants all year! They must also have some kind of light that allows them to grow in the gloomy Wisconsin winter. Spending time in these places are like a mini vacation. We also have an amazing museum that has displays of places like Bali, Fiji and other tropical locations I would like to visit. I can at least escape mentally for the time I am inside the building.

Add to this things like coconut scented oils, shirts with the Jamaican flag, pictures of past vacations and many other ways to at least take me away mentally. I also was given a ‘Happy light’ that mimics the sun by Margie. I often use that when I write. Even a little time in front of it, helps my spirits stay up. Plus, I read and research on other things that might help. Taking Vitamin D, listening to ocean waves. There are many options to employ and more I am learning every day.

I encourage you to take the same approach to whatever life challenge you are facing. I realize that I am not able to change the weather and make the sunshine at will. What I can do is some of the things that I mentioned in the paragraphs above. I also use this ‘winter dread’ to motivate me to save for a vacation. Having things to look forward to makes challenges a lot more bearable. I would love to hear how you approach and prepare for the challenges you are facing. Oh, and if you happen to have more suggestions to make winter bearable for me, I am all ears!

PRESCRIBED DELUSIONS 🤪

Delusions are usually something that is frowned upon. People who see things that “are not there” or see them differently than our reality deems them to be are often looked upon as if they are crazy. In fact, the word delusional is often used as an insult. People who live in a world of their own are often looked at as ‘mad’ such as the character in Alice in Wonderland, the Mad Hatter. Which was attributed to the use of mercury in the making of hats back in the day. Mercury poison aside, there are many reasons people suffer delusions. Not all people suffer delusions. Some rather enjoy them. I recall another roll played by Johnny Depp, that in Don Juan DeMarco. It is one of my favorite movies. I will not ruin it for you, but in the movie Mr. Depp thinks he is the legendary Don Juan and is placed under the care of a psychiatrist, played by Marlon Brando. When asked why he thinks he is at a villa instead of a mental hospital, he responds by informing Mr. Brando that it is because he can see beyond what is.

For a more personal and helpful example, I am going to reference someone who has been called delusional and crazy quite often – me! At my day job this week, I have been wearing some fun and colorful shirts that Margie bought for me. Everyone complimented me and told me it had them feeling like they were on vacation. That is the secret we are going to look at today. One of the great laws that we can used to beat stress is to remember that there is no law of biology or physics that says your mind and body have to be in the same place at the same time. We often use this in a negative way. When we should be enjoying the time we are spending with our family around the dinner table, our minds are preoccupied with some stress that happened at the office. We spend a good amount of our vacation worrying about our upcoming dentist appointment. We all too often take ourselves out of enjoyable situations and transport, at least our mental faculties, into one that is more stressful.

My suggestion, and one I use personally, is to flip this formula on its head. When you find yourself in a unpleasant situation, take your mind on a mental vacation! Like I told my coworkers who complimented my shirts, “Physically, I am here talking to you, but mentally I am on a beach drinking out of a coconut.” This is rather true. One of the ways that I am able to accomplish this is to utilize different items that remind me of vacation. I have pictures of Margie and I on vacation in my phone. I wore the tropical shirts I had. Even use a coconut air-freshener. I even have a ‘tropical playlist’ of music and ocean waves saved on my phone. Using these items allow me to escape mentally to the tropics any time that I want. This allows me to live on vacation!

Employing this formula for good can transform your life to one of being right where you want to be. Mentally, you can hang up a sign that says “Gone to the beach” (or mountains, or shopping or wherever else you would like to go) That way when you finally do make it there physically, your mind will be prepared and you can make the most of it. Think of escaping to Fiji while you are in the dentist chair or the sunny sands of Jamaica while in line at the grocery store. This may sound crazy, but the more you practice it, the more you will immerse yourself in a world of your own creation. Go ahead and create your own delusions! Go ahead and be crazy. Go ahead and be mad. Sometimes a delusion is just the prescription we need!

ENJOY MONDAY AGAIN!

I have written about this subject before in both my books and on this very website. It is one of the most powerful realizations that I use to change my life. Once I realized the truth of this axiom, I was not only able to withstand many of life’s greatest challenges a little better, but I was able to add a great deal of joy to my everyday life as well. This includes times when I am in less-than-ideal circumstances. These can vary from stuck in traffic to stuck in a very bad day at work. There are a million little challenges like these that life offers up for us. The key to handling these can be as simple as a shift in mindset. Notice the word I used there was simple and not easy. Although, once you develop the ability to utilize this shift, it only becomes easier. In my life, the shift is now nearly automatic!

What great revelation changed my life in just such a manner? I am going to share this point with you and trust me, it can do the same for your life once you master it. In fact, it will even start to do so while you are learning it! Enough of the build up! What is this truth that can turn around a dark day and make everyday life more enjoyable? The answer can be found in the two pictures above. It is this – there is no law of physics or biology that says your mind and body have to be in the same place at the same time. When I am having a tough day at the post office, I take a mental vacation. I think about when Margie and I were in Jamaica. Sometimes I imagine what it will be like when we visit Fiji or the Maldives. This little trick brings the stress level down several notches and gives my brain something positive to focus on.

In the beginning, and on particularly stressful days, this can be difficult to do. What I recommend is to have little things that help you. A picture of the tropical location, or any location that fits your idea of a get away. This is totally customizable. This activates your sense of vision. This can be powerful as it is the one we tend to use most often. I suggest incorporating as many of your senses as you can. In my example, I have several videos with sounds of waves crashing saved in my phone. I can always watch them or even just close my eyes and listen. One of the most powerful senses is the sense of smell, which actually utilizes an entire different area of the brain. I have coconut scented lotion that reminds me of suntan lotion. With essential oils and other fragrances, the possibilities are endless. You could even have a small bottle of the scent your significant other wears to remind you of the amazing person you can come home to.

Pick one or several mental vacations you can go to when life seems upside down. Once you pick one, find items you can use to help take you there mentally. This can be a fun and creative exercise. I recommend trying this out as often as you can. Maybe give yourself an escape at the end of the day? I have coconut scented candles and bubble bath to go with a nice glass of coconut rum. You can do what works best for you. You do not need a stressful situation to take a mental vacation. The more you travel in this fashion, the easier it becomes. When you do go on vacation, make sure to be thinking of things you could take back with you. Also, do your best to be mindful when you are somewhere you enjoy. This could be vacation, or could be as simple as a walk in your favorite park. Do not just focus on how far or fast you can hike, but stop and smell the air, look around at the green of the grass and the bark of the trees. Smell the dampness in the soil or the scent of the pine tress. Take it all in and the when you need to escape, it will be right there waiting for you inside your mind. I would love to hear your perfect mental vacation and the items you use to help you go there.

WHAT A GREAT EXPERIENCE

This was one of those things on social media you post and people comment what they love most about you. I did it as a means to discover new and interesting views about how people see me. It was a good exercise for several reasons. What I left with was a profound and grateful feeling in my heart for the kind words that people shared as well as a greater appreciation for the friends that I have in them. It also served as a great indicator as to whether or not I was really fulfilling the vision of the man I strive to be. One thing that made me happy, was judging by the comments I read the answer to that was definitely in the affirmative. New friends, not so new friends and even soul friends let me know that I was indeed living up to my standards for the type of man I wish to be.

I formerly advocated to write your own eulogy as a means of gaining clarity as to the type of person you wish to be thought of at the end of your life as well as how far you have to go to reach that point. I still think that is a very powerful exercise. If you would like more information on doing so, you can watch the video with that title on my YouTube channel, Neil Panosian, or read that section in my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People. While that is helpful in discovering who you want to be and how far you have to go, putting something like this on your social media is a good way to get a snapshot of how you are being viewed currently. The answers will hopefully fill you with a sense of joy and a great deal of appreciation for those you share your life with, like it did for me.

My greeting for all of you today

My next thought about this activity was what a great addition to everyone’s day this probably was. How many of us are quick to post a snarky political post or some sarcastic meme? I hear people complain about social media as a negative influence more than anything else at my seminars. This still strikes me as odd because we, for the most part, control who and what we see on our social media pages. This got me thinking about something I teach in my books and when I speak live. The best, and often easiest, way to eliminate negativity from your life is to add positivity. This is easy to see on social media. Are you sick of all the negative political banter? Do not like seeing depressing news? Done with people who bring nothing but drama, yet you are hesitant to delete them because it will just cause…well…drama? Have no fear my friends! The solution is at hand. You add some positive material.

This doesn’t have to even be something in the self-improvement field or subscribing to the Secret2anamazinglife Facebook page, although you could certainly do worse. No, it can be anything that brings you a smile. If you were my lovely Margie it could be the unicorn and puppy cupcake eating page. If you happen to be a future best selling author and speaker, it could be the sipping Jamaican coffee while sitting on a beach in…say…Jamaica page. The formula here is as follows – even if the usual amount of negative nonsense would still be on your page, it would be coupled with unicorns and puppies eating cupcakes, or coffee and beaches, depending on who you are. Eventually, things would begin to shift towards the positive. If you share this formula with all of your friends and family (you can even share it with all of those people who continue with the political posts) and have them start doing it, that will lead to even MORE positive things showing up on your page! This brings us to our final point and challenge….

I would like to invite you to the Secret2anamazinglife positive social media challenge! For the rest of September, post at least one positive thing on social media every day. This can be many things. It could be a romantic and loving post about your significant other (I think you can guess the positive outcome that might have) It can be a picture of a person or animal that makes you smile. It can be an inspiring news story. It can even be a picture of a beautiful beach you would like to visit. One caveat here, it cannot be accompanied by a sarcastic caption or comment. You cannot post a getaway in Fiji and caption it “I would rather be relaxing here than working this stupid postal job” Nothing negative. Either just post the picture or add something like, “I can’t wait to be relaxing here one day” I am going to do this, and I invite all of you to do the same. Feel free to share some of the positive things you will share in the comments below. If we all do this for the rest of the month, we will bring a lot of smiles to those who see our social media, which in tru