As most of you know, I just returned from a well-deserved vacation in Jamaica. It was a wonderful week at the Princess Senses the Mangrove resort in the city of Green Island. We met a lot of wonderful people. Some of which we mentioned in the last post, some we will mention as we make our way through this week. We enjoyed a lot of good food and engaged in some fun activities.
Several times throughout the week, I sat down to record my thoughts and what we did in a travel journal that I bring with me. Some of you might ask why I would spend time in a beautiful tropical environment journaling. It is a fair question. The answer will not only help you enjoy vacation, but quite possibly life more. Have you ever had a week of fun that goes by in a whirlwind? You find yourself back at work and before long you can barely remember what a palm tree looks like. That is why it is important to record these memories. “I take pictures on my phone.” you might be tempted to say. That is true, but how many times do you look back at pictures and ask yourself, “What is this a picture of again?” I know there have been far too many times that has happened in my life! That is why you should try to capture as many memories as you can.
Journaling does another thing that snapping a picture does not. It forces you to be present. Pushing a button on a camera or a cell phone is a fairly mindless activity. Journaling not only helps you reflect, but knowing you are going to do so helps you remain present. If you know you are going to record what is happening around you later, you tend to pay a lot more attention to what is happening. What was that person’s name? How did the food smell? What color was that car I liked so much? You can get the idea. If this works so well to preserve vacation memories, imagine what it could do in your life?
Here is a photo of my lovely lady and I enjoying some rum punch as we arrived at our hotel in beautiful Green Island Jamaica last Monday. As you can tell from the picture, we were determined to have a good time. In addition to that, we were determined to bring as much love, kindness and fun to all of the people that we met. The souvenir we wanted to bring home was new friendships and memories of bringing joy to others. Being of service and trying to leave someone a little bit better than they were before they met you is one of the greatest joys in life.
We made many great new friends. Three of which are pictured above. First, was Shantal. This young lady was sunshine in the human form. She hosted karaoke, which Margie sang at. She was so nice to us before the show began, loved Margie’s singing and spent some time talking with us after the show. She told us where she finds inspiration and we discussed how important a positive attitude is in life. Every interaction we had with Shantal only made us happier we had the opportunity to get to know her. We both hope this will be a life-long friendship
Next was Enrico Pezzoli, the managing director of the resort we were staying at. Before we had a chance to meet with him, we heard several things about him from his employees. We heard they really felt listened to by him. Many stating how he was always present and encouraging. Mr. Pezzoli was kind enough to take time out of his busy schedule to talk with us not once, but twice. He told us about the casino and entertainment venue they are building next to the resort. He also shared tips on where to travel in Italy. We chatted some about my books and I look forward to hearing more about his thoughts on them.
Lastly, was a server we had at breakfast. Her name was Felecia. She could not have been kinder and more pleasant. When Margie ordered soursop juice, she offered information on the fruit itself and how she enjoyed eating them. She even went to look to see if they had some extras they had not juiced in back so she could better show us what she meant. Not only was she friendly, but treated us as friends and not just another table to wait on. We were fortunate enough to see her before we left and take a picture with her.
Being kind and trying to make people’s lives a little better is not just something you want to do on vacation. When I came back, I stopped at the coffee shop that I normally write at. This is what they wrote on my cup. It was a very kind gesture, but one I think was earned by doing my best to brighten their days whenever possible. This holds true with your family, friends and coworkers! We should always have the goal of leaving others, and the world around us, a little better than we found it. Being kind and offering the gift of joy is just one of the many ways in which we can do that!
Think of your average day. Who do you interact with? How can you make their day a little better than it was before you came into it? This can be other drivers, coworkers, the cashier at the grocery store to, of course, family and friends. Do you best to be a blessing to others. It will not only make their life better, but bring more joy to yours as well.
The other morning, I had the pleasure of sharing coffee and conversation with my friend Nick. We always have a great time together and discuss many topics deeply. We rarely engage in small talk and I love that.
One subject we discussed was the secret to having a happy life. It will also earn you a great deal of respect from both friends and strangers. You will still have the occasional rough day, but even on those days you will have help keeping your spirits up!
What is the amazing secret that can do all of this? It is being kind to others. Yes, this may sound like a Mr. Rogers idea. It really should be common sense. When I trained people both as a bartender and a postal worker, I stressed the importance of being kind.
Many people view being kind as something you do for others. That is only half true. When you are kind at work, whether that is to your coworkers or customers, it helps the day go by smoother and quicker. It is true that not everyone will reciprocate, but let that be their problem. Do not let it stop your kindness.
As you read this, I will be on vacation with my lovely lady in Jamaica. We will be kind to everyone we meet. Why? First, everyone deserves kindness. It is how humans should treat each other. Second, it will have people treating you better. Think of your own experience. If you meet someone that is always kind and grateful approach you, how will you greet them? Will you be more inclined to treat them kindly? Of course you will.
Here is the added bonus. When you do have a bad day, people notice. Not only that, but they miss the usual cheer and kindness. This will make them inclined to work to cheer you up. Can you imagine if this is the interaction with everyone you met? That is just some of the reasons to be kind. What other benefits can you think of that being kind brings?
Today’s post will be the last one that comes out while I’m in the United States. Tomorrow at this time, hopefully, I’ll be in sunny Jamaica 🇯🇲. Margie and I are taking a well-deserved vacation.
Last night as we were packing up i grabbed a travel journal I always take with me. Except the one time we will get to later. As we packed and had a little snack, I read some of the entries out loud to Margie. It was amazing how many things we forgot that we enjoyed on vacation.
There was parades we watched. A very nice couple from Canada we hung out with. The gent and I even played a game and won on stage at the resort! How do you forget that? Still, had it not been written down, we would have.
This practice of taking time to write every day does several things for me. It forces you to show down and reflect. Sometimes that can be difficult for people used to being on the go all of the time. I speak from experience. It also helps you be present by asking, and remembering, details to write down later. In reading this journal there were names of people, dishes we ate and towns we traveled through.
Here is the thing, if this works well for vacation, imagine how this could work for your life. Journaling may feel like a long lost art, but if it helps us slow down and be more present, that could be life-changing! Hang on to all of those memories in any way you can. Life goes by quicker than we think.
Last post I had mentioned that Margie and I were going to depart to visit Green Island Jamaica. Although Jamaica is a place we have visited before, we have never been to this part of the island. When we were looking at everything we had planned this past week we did the usual things. We looked at the resort we were staying at. We thought about where we wanted to eat and the entertainment we wanted to enjoy. Did we want to do an excursion of any kind? What should we pack? This is what may of us do. Those things are all important, but they all revolve around the same principle. What are we going to get from this vacation. That is important to be sure. What many of us never ask is what do I want to give on this vacation.
In life, nobody likes the “What is in it for me?” type of person. We certainly do not want to be that person. Somehow on vacation, often people do not think that way. It could be the fact that you have shelled out much of your hard-earned money to go and be where you are. Maybe that causes an entitled feeling? It is worth remembering that the people helping you are not just doing their jobs, but helping your vacation be as enjoyable as it can be. Many of them cannot afford to take a vacation themselves. Showing them courtesy and appreciation can mean the world to them.
When we travel, we represent more than just ourselves. Think of that. We represent tourists in general. We represent the country we are from. When we were in Jamaica the second time, we happen to stay at a resort with many people from the same state we live in. They were generally entitled and unpleasant to the staff and other people at the resort. So much so Margie and I were tempted to say we were from somewhere else. That is when I realized that we had to be a good example. We went out of our way to learn about the locals we encountered. We treated everyone with dignity and respect. The lady in the first picture with us was Stephanie, a tour guide. We might have been the only people to talk to her and take a picture with her. In the Bahamas, we have the pleasure of meeting and chatting with many workers in different shops we went to. Even befriended a wonderful young lady who explained to Margie how much they needed her baking skills in the country. Still trying to convince Margie a move there would be a good idea.
The point of all of this is that we wanted to have a positive impact on every place we went. I shared my writing with many people and we tried to share smiles and kind words to everyone we met. The great thing about this idea? It does not have to be different countries that you do this in. It can be when you go out to eat, to coffee or to the hardware store. Think of what impact you leave in every place you go. Is it a positive one? Did you leave any impact at all? Be a light of compassion, understanding and positivity wherever you go. Whether that is around the block or around the world. The more you do this, the brighter your world, and the world in general will be.
Today will be my last workday before I leave for Sunny Jamaica on Monday. I thought this picture was funny, but the more I thought about it, there is some inspiration and direction to be found here as well. That flamingo will be me shortly, coconut drink and all. Hopefully I will not be as pink, but I will be laying in a chair just relaxing. Do you know why that is a powerful thing to do in our life?
Have you heard the funny cliche about how most of our good ideas come to us in the shower? Why do you think that is? Do our brains need humidity to function? Does the smell of our shampoo help our brain cells to work more efficiently? While I cannot speak to either of those notions, there is another answer that may surprise us. Taking a shower is one of the few times we give our minds a bit of time off. As technology and the speed of change increase, this becomes even more true. We have a device in our pocket that can occupy our minds no matter where we are. Scrolling videos in line at the grocery store. Checking our social media while conducting our business in the restroom. It would feel many of us lack a moment of sacred silence.
Our minds should be one of our hardest working employees. Through my first 3 books, I show you many tools and strategies to put that employee to work for you. Think of a human employee. If you give a person something to do 24/7, they will break down in a short amount of time. At the very least, they will not be operating at peak efficiency. It is not just being efficient that matters, but being creative too. When you are feeding your mind content that has been created by others, you leave it very little time to create its own. Not to mention, we need time to properly process that content we do assimilate. If not, it becomes a giant tangled mess in our brains. Does that sound familiar to any of us?
Yes, I will be creating content while in Jamaica. Mostly video content is my guess, but there will also be plenty of relaxation and time to enjoy my lovely lady. We both work so hard our time together is either spent brainstorming our creative endeavors or passing out in each other’s arms. Those are both wonderful to be sure, but leave little time for enjoying each other. Plus, who does not want creativity to blossom in their relationships both romantic and otherwise? This can only happen when we give our minds time to come up with those thoughts.
You might not be lucky enough to have a trip to Green Island Jamaica planned, but you can plan and schedule some time with your thoughts. Give your mind time to sort out the millions of bits of information we all digest on a daily basis. I think you will be surprised with things you come up with. Do not rely on the shower and right before you sleep. As a matter of fact, those of us who lay down only to find our minds wake up, display a need to spend this time. Your mind is begging to communicate with you all the time. If you never give it a chance, it will take the only time it has which is usually in the shower or when you are trying to fall asleep. Neither of which is terribly convenient. By scheduling time to unwind we will be able to sleep and shower better!
That is a picture of me. It is probably what I looked like when I was informed that the vacation I had planned for my lovely lady’s birthday would be canceled. Six months I had managed to keep it a secret. There were days of work I scheduled off. We were mere weeks from takeoff and our Jamaican vacation was canceled. It was a tragic once in a lifetime hurricane that devastated the island. Regretfully, our hotel was unable to open at the time they had anticipated. Obviously, our dismay was nothing compared to what the people were dealing with, and are still dealing with, on the island. Still, we were quite dismayed not to be able to escape the brutal Wisconsin winter, if only for a few days.
Looking at the temperature in my hometown above (in Fahrenheit) one can see it would be wonderful to get away. One of those situations where you might ask, “Where is the upside in all of this?” First of all, the reason our trip was canceled is a great reminder of what we have to be thankful for. Yes, it is beyond cold and snowy here, but we have power and our houses have not been blown away from a 200 mph hurricane. The fact the hotel could not open reminds us of how months later the island continues to struggle. On top of that, on the day we were supposed to be leaving Margie came down with an illness. She had it for quite some time. It would have been the whole time we were scheduled to be on vacation. Just a few days ago, I also came down with something. If there is anything worse than your vacation being canceled, it is going and being sick the entire time. The trip being called off saved us from that happening.
It can be hard to see that what appears to be something negative in life is actually setting you up for something better. Have you ever had a major setback while pursuing a goal? My guess is that if you are reading a website like this, you have. It gives you a chance to refocus and gain additional skills that will make the goal even more rewarding when you do reach there. The additional time you have to wait will make achieving the goal that much sweeter. Sure, nobody likes to think this way when it is happening to them, but that does not change it from being true. If you do manage to change your mindset from “Why me?” to one of, “What positive thing can I gain from this setback?” Life is not only a lot less stressful, but becomes something to always look forward to.
As a side note, the delay in taking a trip with my love has allowed us to save more and hopefully spend a few more days on our getaway. Something we could not have done without the delay. It also allows me a little more time to work on my beach body which has been missing in action for quite some time. There are always silver linings to the dark clouds of life. We may just have to look a little harder for them.
In preparation for my upcoming fourth book, I have been asking many people what they would recommend to others who have fallen out of love with their life. It happens. We are children full of excitement for the simplest of things, approaching each day full of passion. Next thing we know, we are on the ‘wake up, pay bills and repeat’ cycle. Daily life can feel like a job that we just have to make it through. That is no way to live! How do we fall back in love with life? It is doing many of the things we have forgotten or let slip through our fingers while we focused on our careers and making sure everyone else was taken care of.
For today’s post I want to reference an answer I received from congenial young man who works where I am writing this very post. His name is Anthony. I posed the question of what he would recommend if someone were to seek his counsel as to how they might get the passion for their life back. After a few days of contemplation, he came up with an answer that I think is nothing short of brilliant – travel! This is also a cure for a good many of our other ailments. Prejudice, racism, entitlement and disconnect can also be cured by getting out and discovering new cultures and new friends. Above is a picture of my lovely lady and I in Jamaica. We are with our friend that we made there, Stephanie. She was one of our tour guides and explained a lot of what the island was experiencing at the time. It is my hope to reconnect with her and see what has changed since they experienced that terrible hurricane.
Perhaps an escape to the islands is not in your budget right now? That is ok. There are ways that you can travel the globe without leaving your hometown. One of the best ways I have found is to explore authentic culinary experiences. Above are some examples of dishes Margie and I tried at an East Indian restaurant a little drive from where we live. It was about a half an hour drive, but it was so worth it. Not only was the food authentic, our server was a student here from India. He explained his hometown, made some recommendations and even told us about his schooling.
Of course it is not as good as actually traveling to a country, but it helps you get the flavor of things. The same can be said for ethnic fairs, markets, shops and any other thing you can think of. Finding a culture and exploring it more deeply can certainly bring the passion back into your life. We will expand on what else I have learned by doing this in just a second. Before that, I would like to share one more example of traveling without leaving your hometown. Part of my nationality is Armenian. I grew up not knowing much about the country, its people or their customs. Margie and I started going to an Armenian Festival a few years back. I was introduced to the pastor of the church who came from Armenia. We met for coffee and he explained many things to me I did not know. At the festival itself, there was Armenian music, food, ancient artifacts and other cultural items. Every year I learn more things and meet more people.
Here is what all of this traveling both abroad and in my own hometown has taught me. First, all people generally share the same challenges. There may be slight differences in how they are represented in their lives, but they are basically the same. Speaking of the same, most people around the world are loving wonderful people who have the same needs and desires. Everyone likes to feel significant, like they matter. It does not matter if you are in Jamaica or Greenland. There is also a longing for both connection and community. People like to feel connected and included. They like to feel they make a contribution to the world by being who they are. When you travel, you discover that everyone does. Knowing that we are all really one big family despite what certain politicians, news sources and others may try to convince you of, it helps you feel more connected and passionate about life. Thank you Anthony for this great answer! I urge all of you to travel today. Even if you have to do it in your own hometown.
Ah good ol’ Charlie Dickens! He has a good one here. Especially during the holidays. We see and connect with people we may otherwise not. In what seems like a flash, the holidays are over and everyone is lost in their life obligations. It is a bittersweet affair.
What Charlie reminds us of, is that reconnecting can be a joy that makes the pain of parting a little bit easier to take. This is something I go through every morning. Leaving my hot lady and warm bed at 4am is quite a struggle. Soon, I hope to be a best-selling author and not have to deal with this. For the time being, leaving is required to pay the bills.
It seems the more fun we have, the harder it is to leave. Instead of focusing on how much I would love to stay home, I focus on how excited I am to return. In about a month we will be traveling to sunny Jamaica. I’m sure we won’t want to leave as we always make new friends and have a lot of fun. We must look forward to our next visit. Whenever that may be.
In your life, there will be parting that breaks the heart. Instead focus on the excitement of the next reunion. It will make life that much sweeter!
This is a picture of my lovely lady and myself in Jamaica. It was our first time there together roughly 5 years ago. For her birthday I was able to surprise her with a return trip to that very resort which she loved so much. After the terrible hurricane they suffered, they need some support as well. I was so grateful to be able to treat her to this for all the amazing things she does for me. In addition, while looking through the photos I noticed something very interesting. My lady actually looks younger and more beautiful today than she did 5 years ago in these photos. That is saying something as she always looks so lovely. I am so grateful to be with such an incredible woman.
We also went out to breakfast at one of our favorite locations. Our server could not have been any better. This always makes the experience far more enjoyable. When they heard we were celebrating Margie’s birthday, they brought out a delicious blueberry muffin and wrote “Happy Birthday” in chocolate sauce. The server also gave us a piece of flan which she made herself. We were so grateful to enjoy this experience together. Looking across the table at such a beautiful woman and knowing I am going to spend forever with her filled my heart with gratitude.
This may certainly seem like my life is all sunshine and rainbows, and while I am truly blessed, there are some challenges that have shown some new things to be grateful for. A few posts ago, I shared that my new car had hit a patch of black ice and slid into a snow bank. This caused a cracked bumper. I was told when plastic gets cold even snow can crack it. This certainly was not a fun moment, but it gave me plenty of new things to be grateful for. One, I had insurance so the repairs only cost my deductible. Although this expense was more than I cared to spend right before the holidays, it lead to some amazing savings. Turns out my former insurance agent had set up my policy wrong. This resulted in a $48 dollar a month savings going forward, as well as a $300 refund after Christmas. That was almost the cost of the deductible. In addition, both the insurance people and the repair people could not have been any nicer. They taught me a lot about my car and the insurance on it.
Another great item was that I have a back up car I use for when we DJ. I was able to use that car to go to and from work. This saved me from having to get a ride at 4am. It also helped refresh the gratitude for my new car. I missed many of the features that made driving in the cold a lot easier. I was conveying just such a thing on the way to breakfast when my lovely lady remarked, “You must be grateful for the other car too.” It doesn’t hurt to have a lady that pays attention to the things you write about. In the process of being grateful to have the new car back, my gratitude for the old car started to slip and it was a great reminder.
Whether celebrating a great time, or doing your best to make it through a tough time, gratitude is the secret. Things may not be as you wish they were, but they can always be worse. We owe it to ourselves and our mental health to focus on gratitude!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 