Do you ever get the feeling you are chasing the brass ring… and an Olympic sprinter is wearing it? That is to say you can never quite catch it? When we spend our life focused on chasing the next big goal and saving our celebration until we reach it, life can feel like one big chores.
What is the secret to an amazing life? As the photo above states, celebrating the little wins. There are so many ways in which to do this. As I mentioned in the last few posts, the weather here is so cold it is downright dangerous. The other night, my lovely Margie and I had to go out to our DJ job. It was -3° F when we left. My 2005 Ford Escape not only made it home but purred like a kitten.To me, making it home safe was a win.
Celebrating safe travels and good health keep us realizing how much we truly do have. I’m sitting in a local Korean coffee shop writing this. I’m so glad my city not only has one of these, but I am able to enjoy it. This will be the 935th day in a row for these blogs. That is worth Celebrating. I’m not waiting to celebrate until I reach my goal of 1000.The fact that despite my hectic life I’m still able to bring these blogs to you is a win.
How about you? What small wins can you celebrate? The more you celebrate, the more life seems like 1 big party!
Yes, this is a funny little meme. Yes, it is also the honest truth for me when it comes to winter. It is also a great suggestion for appreciating different aspects of what the cold weather brings. I mentioned a few posts ago that where I live the weather is dangerously cold. The news is recommending people do not leave their house unless they have to. Makes you wonder why I am not on vacation writing to you from the tropics. As you read this, there is a great chance that I am doing just what the photo above states. Sitting inside enjoying a good cup of coffee. Chances are that I am doing so with some wonderful company as well.
As much as I dislike the cold, there is something wonderful to be said about being inside looking out at it. Enjoying coffee with Margie, my mother or some other wonderful person becomes so much more of a blessing. The fact that we have the freedom and ability to do so is something we are all grateful for. While it is true that you can do this in the warm weather, it has a different feel when the temperature plummets below freezing.
Wherever you are, and no matter what the weather is like, may you enjoy the blessing of sharing a great cup of coffee with some wonderful company. Make sure you take time to be grateful for the ability to do so. In a world where things can change in an instant, it is fully enjoying the present that makes all of the difference.
Today is Saturday. Most of us are enjoying the start of the weekend. A few of us, like myself, are working. It is good to be a hard-working individual. It shows character and self-discipline. Both very good traits. What we must be careful with is to balance that with our true passions and ambitions. No matter what that job is, one day we will retire. What then? The average person lives less than 20 years after retirement. Men, it is even less for you. Why do we suppose that is? One of the main reasons is a lack of purpose. You do not want to give all of your passion and energy to a company that will replace you a day after you are gone. Think about your legacy, and what lights the inner fire inside you. That is what the world needs more of.
Forgetting your dreams to chase the dollar can have terrible side effects. Increased stress, reduced sense of purpose and fulfillment. How exciting can a life of ‘wake up, pay bills and die’ be? Not very exciting. I’ll cover more ways to go from striving to thriving in my upcoming fourth book. Until then, I want to remind all of us to continue to make our dreams a priority. Even those of us who are finished with the work-a-day world can put our dreams on the back burner. We spend our time with busy work and running errands for others. Perhaps so used to putting our own desires last, that doing anything less has us feeling guilty.
Even someone like myself who works about 60 hours a week, still makes time to pursue their passions. In fact, the words you are reading now include that. The means are not just to justify an end, but to invest in my dream. Pursuing dreams helps us feel alive. It puts light behind our eyes and a spring in our step. How can you invest in your dreams today? Through time? Financial investment? Maybe it is just dusting them off and bringing them back to life. Do not let your salary kill your dreams!
As an author, you may be tempted to think this is a ploy to get to you buy more books. Certainly, if you would like to go on Amazon and search ‘Neil Panosian’, feel free to order away. In truth, this post has nothing to do with books at all. It has to do with people. The people in your life. Friends, loved ones and even just the people you enjoy spending time with.
In my own life, I have recently lost two people. My grandmother, who was 96 years old, and my friend Billy Spaulding, who we wrote about last post. These two are not only two entirely different people, they will serve as a great example of what we wish to discuss here today. We often have two types of relationships with people. The book version, or the CliffsNotes version. With Billy I had the book, with my grandmother, the CliffsNotes.
Above you see some very smart people with great taste in books. I hope they had the pleasure of reading the entire thing from cover to cover. When it comes to relationships, do we read from cover to cover? Here is what I mean. When we lose someone, we lose more than just that person’s physical presence in our life. We lose stories we share. We lose jokes that maybe we are the only ones to understand, or find funny.Having these to appreciate takes reading the whole book cover to cover. What is the difference and how do we go about reading these books? Let’s take a look.
My grandmother, my dad’s mother, recently passed away at the age of 96. Sadly, I can’t really share much about her as we did not spend a great deal of time together. For several years she even thought my name was Nick. Margie thought the same thing, but that is a different story. I knew her name. Spent a few moments with her and even have a few comical memories of things she did. In other words, the CliffsNotes version. Did I know her favorite flower? No. Did I know what made her laugh? Not at all.
On the opposite side of the spectrum was my friend Billy. We had spent hours discussing life and our place in it. We shared jokes, laughter and quite a few cocktails. Last post goes into this in greater detail. There is even a video of the two of us on our YouTube channel. That is reading the book version of getting to know someone. As I was laying awake unable to sleep thinking of this blog and what I was going to write, another thing occurred to me – technology. It is vital that we share with each other on as many levels as we can.
Cellphones can be linked to the decline of personal communication. They can, however, help us establish the ‘whole book’ way of remembering someone. Above are pictures of my late uncle, my cousin who passed away at the age of 22, Margie’s mom (whose birthday we celebrate today) and I, my great uncle and my grandfather. All of these people are no longer here. Many passed before cell phones were really a thing. Therefore, there is little or no audio and video of them. As I thought about people I would like to still be able to speak with, my grandfather popped into my head. My mind even strained to remember the sound of his voice. It seems unreal that there was never a video made, but you just didn’t think of those things. That is why it is important to get to know each other on the deepest level. When my young cousin passed away in a tragic accident, we were scheduled to get together and shoot a video for my YouTube channel the very next week.
The point of all of this is to create the memories now. Do not settle for surface knowledge of someone. Really get to know them. You never know when it may be your last chance to do so. If it is, do you want to be left with CliffsNotes or do you want to say you have read the whole book?
We are at the end of the first full week of the new year. How are those goals coming? Have you fallen victim to the millions of distractions in the world? Before you realize it, they can have you sleeping on your goals and dreams! What can you do about that? Don’t worry, we have a simple solution in mind.
When you fall asleep at night, how domanage to get back up and get back at it? You set an alarm! That is precisely what you should do to stick to your goals. I don’t care if it is to eat healthier, exercise more or spend time meditating. This little tip will work for them all.
Pick a time you can rely on. Set an alarm on your phone. If you have the option, add a few words of encouragement or reminder of your goals. Here is the key. Then take at least one action. Eat a healthy meal or snack. Food prep. Do 20 squats or meditate for 5 minutes. If you start making this a daily habit it will increase your chances for success! An easy way to do this is to simply set an alarm to remind you. Just remember to always take an action. It will provide you with momentum and you will be halfway to success!
Who doesn’t love giving a great gift? I know I do. Seeing the joy on the face of others when they open a gift you have carefully thought of and selected is a better feeling than any gift you could receive. At least that’s how I feel. I’m sure many of you would agree.
Wouldn’t it be great to be able to give a gift like that every time you see someone? To see someone’s face light up with joy everytime the two of you connect? There is such a gift. It does require careful thoughts and actions daily, but as you can see, the rewards are priceless.
The gift we are talking about us becoming the best version of yourself. This may seem counterintuitive, but if you think about it is not. Of course the ultimate beneficiary of self-improvement is… well..yourself. Still, think of how nice it is to spend time with someone who is at peace, filled with joy and has their life reasonably together.
This is not to say that you should fake being happy all of the time. We all have struggles and sometimes sharing them with a friend helps a great deal and makes our friend feel like the valuable person they are in our life. Showing up with peace in our hearts, an attitude of gratitude and excitement about the future can brighten anyone’s day.
The more you learn about improving your own life, the better you can be of service to those you care about. Learning to be a better listener? Think of who that benefits. How about developingthe ability to give genuine and uplifting compliments? You know that will certainly encourage your friends and family. One of the best things I have learned is to stay calm in the face of challenges. You not only inspire others, but can be in a better position to see solutions their panicking mind may not be able to.
This year, let us all work on becoming the best version of ourselves. Not only will we improve, but so will our relationships with those we care about. Just remember that self-improvement is a life-long journey. You can take a daily step right here at secret2anamazinglife.com!
This year it is important to set boundaries. It is important to set goals and resolutions to make clear what we are going after. It is just as important to set boundaries to let others know what we will not tolerate. This is not meant to be antagonist, but to teachothers how they should treat you.
Setting boundaries can be difficult at first. This is especially true for people you have let trample your boundaries in the past. In the long term it will actually reduce stress in your life. Quite a bit actually! It will also improve the quality of your relationshipswith others. When they respect you and your boundaries, you will enjoy spending more time with them. In addition, it sets the relationship up for growth that otherwise wouldn’t be possible.
Therefore, it would both serve you, and the relationship you share with this person, to make your boundaries clear and to stick by them. Remember, it may be uncomfortable in the short-term, but it will ultimately serve you long-term.
This picture was taken during a nighttime walk with my mother at a local park. We walk here a lot during the day. Despite my best efforts against it, she will often walk alone at night. This evening, I joined her, and it was truly a much different experience than during the day. We were not able to see as far as we normally were. Things we could make out during the day appeared as black silhouettes.
You may think this would make it a lesser experience. Not so. Our senses of hearing were more developed and we noticed sounds we may miss during the day. The photo above is of the local water tower.During the day it is just a water tower, but at night it looked almost mystical. Something we could only appreciate at night.
This walk was a great reminder to get a shift in perspective on what you normally see. It can help you appreciate things you may miss. We walk this park countless times during the day, but the evening made it an entirely different experience. Have you ever had such an experience?
A few months ago I hired a personal trainer at my gym. About a month ago, she quit. Hopefully that is no reflection on me as a client. A new trainer, Mia, was assigned to me. Being very thorough, she sat down with me to better understand me and my fitness goals. One of the questions she asked was what my favorite piece of equipment was at the gym. After some deep reflection, I answered her honestly and said “The massage bed is great.”
After a chuckle between us, I answered with a few machines. Here is the lesson in this. The massage bed is great. Helps you relax and feel good. This is true of so many things in life. The help us feel comfortable. The other machines at the gym wear you out and can leave you sore for days. Just like challenges in life. Many things we do will be uncomfortable and could even hurt mentally, emotionally, or even physically long after the event is over.
Why even bother with any of that? Why not stick to only things that are easy and comfortable? In one word, growth. What kind of shape would I be in if the only machine I used at the gym was the massage bed?Sure I would be comfortable at the time, but when the time came to do anything physical, I would be no better off and may even be worse. Using the machines that cause momentary discomfort will allow our muscles to grow and be better in the future.
This is also the way it works in life. If we only stick to things that make us comfortable we will be no stronger of a person when challenges come. In fact, we may even be weaker. It is not fun to have that difficult conversation or make those tough decisions. It is easier to stay in bed than get up to go to work or clean the house. Still, it makes our life easier in the long term. Think of this next time you have to decide on your favorite discomfort.
Let me begin this by saying that I FIRMLY believe cauliflower cannot become pizza. In fact, I feel it is not good for much at all. Personal opinion part now over, let’s get on with the post.
Often you may think you are not cut out for your dreams. Perhaps you may think you just don’t fit in the role you are striving for.I think today’s technology where they make plasticout of plants, and a million other things, it should be evident that you can make anything out of yourself as well.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 