A WORLD OF DARKNESS😈

Here is something I have been wanting to write for a while. With my crazy life, the opportunity has not presented itself. The world is a crazy place right now. In a minute everything can be turned upside down. Many people are hurting and afraid. That is why what we do here is so important. Secret2anamazinglife.com is not only an online community, but a place to come that is safe and inspiring. My life purpose is to leave the world a better place than I found it. Right now, that is looking a little challenging. What I can do is exactly what the quote above tells us to do.

In my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, I share the story of what inspired me to begin writing and working on improving myself. I cannot assume that you have read that book. I must say it is a quick and good read. Even has a nice smiley face on the cover. You can pop over to Amazon and order yourself a copy right after you finish reading this. To catch you up to speed, I am going to give you the super abridged version of my story.

After a very bad day that included losing a job, bad home relations and a host of other things, I decided to go for a walk to clear my head. I checked the mail on the way out the door. In there I found my electric bill as well as envelopes asking for charity donations. I did donate them to the recycle bin. One caught my attention however. On it was the quote above, “Better to light a single candle than curse the darkness.” That single quote has taken me on a journey over two decades in the making. It has allowed me to write and publish 3, going on 4, books. I have done my best to light as many candles and inspire as many people as I can.

It sure can feel good to vent and attack the evil we see in the world. It is good to speak up if you see wrong being done. What is even more powerful is to ‘light that candle’. If you see a group of people being persecuted, make sure you go out of the way to make people of that group feel safe and welcome. Worried about what is happening with our planet and the climate? See what actions you can take to help heal our planet. Remember that cursing the darkness does not make the room any brighter, but lighting even one candle does.

As much as we would like to, we cannot change all the ills the world faces. What we can do is make a big difference in the life of one person at a time. Think if you just inspired, encouraged or reassured one person a day. That would be 365 people in a year. Considering what an inspired, empowered or reassured person can then go on to do, the ripple effect could affect a great many more. If we just yell and complain about how terrible things are, we do not help anyone, least of all ourselves. Light candles my friend. When the world is dark, you must be the light.

DON’T FORGET TO BE SILLY 😋

We have been doing a great job at looking at what many of the readers of this blog find to be a fulfilling life. We will get back to that and look at some more amazing answers very soon. As the week starts and the pressures begin, I wanted to look at something that may get overlooked or pushed to the back burner. That is what the quote above says. Make sure you do something silly and fun that serves no other purpose than make you happy.

A lot of what gets in the way of this is the guilt people feel when it comes to spending any time in non-productive activities. As important as self-discipline is, it is equally as important to balance that with some fun and relaxation. One of the great ways to do this is to include people in your life who embody this trait. In my own life, I have been blessed with a lovely lady who is the poster child for silly. She is always a great reminder to spend some time on silly fun. It lowers blood pressure, increases feel good hormones in the body and reduces stress.

For those who still feel a little guilty, remember that all of this increases creativity. When you are constantly working hard, you can wind up burnt out. It is so important to let off a little steam and do something that puts a smile on your face. It could be singing and dancing to your favorite song. It could be walking in nature and taking time to look at the birds, trees and listen to the wind. It could be listening to some jokes on your phone or computer. Whatever works for you. Just remember to include moments of this throughout your day.

FULFILLMENT ACCORDING TO MAC 👈

Today’s post will feature a deep dive into an answer to a question I posed to several friends and associates. The question was, “What, in your opinion, makes for a truly fulfilling life?” We will take a deeper dive into the answer featured in today’s post. This includes looking at how we can implement their ideas for fulfillment into our own life. This will allow all of us to wake up with a greater sense of inner peace and joy. If these answers inspire you, and you would like to share your own feeling on what makes life fulfilling, feel free to do so in the comments below. You could be featured in a future post or in my next book! Now let us take a look at today’s answer!

Today’s answer comes courtesy of Mac. He is a gentleman I connected with because we both share a health challenge. After much conversation, it appears we share much more. Our general attitude towards life and our place in it is also rather similar. I look forward to getting to know this man better and continue to learn from him. Even our thoughts about a fulfilling life resonate with each other. His answer also reflects who he is as a man. Without further build up, let us look at what Mac thinks makes a fulfilling life.

“To wake up beside my wife each day and to work together throughout the day to accomplish our goals as a team”

Both Mac and I certainly find fulfillment in waking up next to the beautiful lady we love. What this highlights is the importance and benefit of, not only loving and seeing the beauty in your spouse, but finding fulfillment in that. All too often familiarity can breed contempt or at the very least, taking your partner for granted. Mac understands both parties benefit when the appreciation for each other never stops.

There is one more thing you might have missed in Mac’s answer. Although his answer highlights his deep love for the woman in his life, it reflects something even bigger. Throughout my conversations with Mac about my upcoming book, as well as our health, he focus has always been on one thing – gratitude.

Mac has expressed gratitude for many things in his life. This has ranged from a simple cup of great coffee, to walking in nature and feeding squirrels. Two more things we have in common. Mac reminds us that the more we are grateful for things that we do have in our lives, the more fulfillment we experience.

How about you? Are you grateful for waking up next to your spouse, or have you started to take them for granted? Even if you don’t have a spouse, are you grateful for the great many simple pleasures in your life? What are they? Feel free to let us know in the comments below.

FULFILLMENT ACCORDING TO TERRY 🇺🇸

Today’s answer, or should I say answers, comes from my friend Terry. I have know him since we were 5 years old. Give or take a few years. That speaks to what an amazing man, and friend Terry is. He is retired military and works tirelessly to help those both in the military and those who have left the military. He also works to help his friends, community and the people and causes he cares about. As you can tell, Terry is one amazing gentleman. He posted 2 answers to the question about what makes life fulfilling. They were both so good I want to touch on them both.

“To make anything and everything we do better.”

“Giving back to the people that have given to us. Being retired military it’s about the veterans that gave their lives to have what we have here today.”

The Japanese philosophy of ‘Kaizen’ or never-ending improvement. When thinking of never-ending improvement, many people have expressed to me a sense of futility. If we can never achieve perfection, and our work is never done, what is the point? This is looking about it all wrong. Instead of leading to a feeling of a defeated life, it can actually give us a sense of fulfillment. Terry understands this, let us take a look into it. The fact that no matter how good anything is, it can always be better should excite us. Work really hard to create a marriage that is loving and kind? There is a whole level of intimacy that is waiting for you. Work hard in your career to get where you are? Great! There is still even more to be accomplished and celebrated. The point of this is that every time we improve on our best, we can feel fulfilled. Even the progressive realization of a worthy ideal, which was the definition of success as given by Earl Nightingale, is fulfillment. When we know we are working to be better, that should give us a sense of fulfillment.

As for giving back to those who gave to us, I am sure how you can see where that would give you a sense of fulfillment. As I am typing this, my mother comes to mind. Margie often says she volunteers to help everyone. That is just this side of being accurate. My mother has a lot of beliefs and causes she is passionate about. Instead of just talking or writing a check, she volunteers and takes action. When I get a chance to take her out for dinner or coffee, or even just do something nice for her, I feel a sense of fulfillment. She helps so many others, it is a joy to help her.

Terry gives another great example, that of the military. These are men and women who serve their country. They put their lives on the line to protect people they do not know, and may very well never know. The stress and impact this has on their lives can often be devastating. Knowing this in advance, they still sign up to serve. If you can ever do anything to help veterans, you should. While war is something none of us want to see, those men and women who are sent to battle deserve our utmost respect and compassion.

From first responders, doctors, nurses and volunteers, there are so many amazing souls that we could help. Helping those who serve others is not only fulfilling, it makes the world a much brighter place. It is often those who give the most that ask for the least. How many people do you know that give their all to others only to be suffering in silence. When you have such a giving nature, it can be difficult to admit you might need help, much less ask for it. Be like Terry and find your fulfillment in giving back to those who give to others.

What group of people can you think of that would give you a sense of fulfillment to help? There are so many worthwhile individuals. Please mention yours in the comments below as it will help others find people and groups deserving our attention and assistance. Also, ask yourself how you view a life of never-ending improvement. Can you see how this would lead to a life of fulfillment? Can you see the excitement knowing that no matter how amazing your life is, there is always a way to make it better? Please share in the comments below.

FULFILLMENT ACCORDING TO EDUARDO 🇮🇹

Today’s answer comes from a follower of this very blog. Eduardo in the great country of Italy. Eduardo does me the great honor of providing feedback on several of my blogs. In addition, he has a passion for hiking and exploring. He shares videos, and amazing photos, of his adventures at different locations. He is married to a Filipina, the love of his life. He shares what makes their marriage, and love, so successful. He also shares some amazing culinary creations. Viewing Eduardo’s social media is like experiencing a cultural adventure! All this being said, let us take a look at what he thinks makes life fulfilling. I will tell you it is as simple as it is profound.

it’s contributing: there is no way around it.

We touched on this last post with Jason’s answer. Eduardo broadens the category for us a little more. It is about adding to the world. What are we contributing? It reminds me of people who say they just want to win the lottery and sit on the beach. I must confess, on certain days I am one of those people. The truth is, we could only be happy doing this for so long. If we were of no use to anyone, or anything, how long would we be happy? We must feel that our life has a purpose. To have a purpose, we must find ways to contribute. As Eduardo so correctly reminds us, “There is no way around it.”

This is not to say that you should live your life solely for others. Take time for yourself when you need to recharge. What we must understand, and what Eduardo’s answer so succinctly states, is that in order to live a life that is fulfilling, it must also contribute to the greater good. This can be done in so many ways. My beautiful lady and her daughter contribute to the joy of others with the delicious baked goods they create. Last post we looked at how Jason contributes with his music, raising his daughter and loving his wife. Above we looked at the multitude of ways that Eduardo himself follows his own philosophy of contribution. It is through these actions that all of them get a feeling of contribution.

How about you? How do you contribute to the world? Have you thought about how this contribution brings a sense of fulfillment? Whether you are a parent, a teacher, a great friend or an amazing spouse, the world is full of ways in which you can contribute. I would love to hear some of yours and how they make you feel like you are living a fulfilling life in the comments below.

FULFILLMENT ACCORDING TO JASON 🎸

Today’s answer comes from my good friend Jason. He is not only an amazing guitar player, but an even better father. Speaking of fathers, I actually knew Jason’s father before I met him. It was only later that we discovered this. Jason and I hosted a weekly radio program for a while that was damn entertaining, if I must say so myself. Let us shift from taking a look at the man to taking a look at his answer.

“For me, a fulfilling life would mean that I lived it in such a way that is was inspiring to others. I really do feel that our sole purpose in life is to help others.”

This is an answer of a truly enlightened person. Jason might not exactly refer to himself as such, but this answer would prove that he has every right to. Having a purpose greater than ourselves gives our life not only direction, but resilience. If your life is just about you and what you can get out of it, eventually you will come up against something that is stronger than you. If your purpose involves that greater good, such as this altruistic example above, you will be able to persevere. Some of the greatest minds of the last century knew this wisdom.

Albert Einstein, one of the smartest men in history, knew what our friend Jason knows. This was his answer when asked why we are here. Think of your own life. If you accomplish great things, and they only benefit you, will you truly be happy? One of the greatest joys in life is to know that you have made someone else’s life better. I can tell you that as an author, I am coming close to having sold 10,000 books. Certainly something to be proud of. That alone would not keep me going. What really keeps me motivated to continue to write is when I hear the difference it has made in the lives of others. I am sure Jason would say the same about his music. Even more importantly, as a parent Jason understands the importance of living your life for the benefit of someone else.

Going to sleep at night knowing you have inspired and made someone else’s life better is a sense of contentment, and yes fulfillment, that can’t be beat. What do you think of Jason and Albert Einstein’s answer that to live a truly fulfilling life, we must benefit more than ourselves? How have you felt fulfillment from lending a hand, or a sense of hope, to another fellow human? Please share your answers below and help us help each other.

FULFILLMENT ACCORDING TO NICCI 👩‍🎨

Today’s answer comes from a great friend of Margie and myself. Nicci is an art teacher, a dedicated and loving mother to 2 very talented daughters and a great singer. With all that she has on her plate, it is vital for Nicci to be able to know what gives her a sense of life fulfillment. Nicci’s answer was as follows.

A network of genuine friends who inspire, encourage, and support you no matter what makes life worthwhile. I love my people so much and they are the biggest blessing in my life. This of course includes you and Margie.

There are so many things we can gain from looking at Nicci’s answer. It is important to note that she places the word ‘genuine’ in front of friends. In a world that can see our connections limited to superficial ones, especially after Covid, having friends that are genuine and know the real us is priceless. Her definition of genuine friends is also included in her answer. “People who inspire, encourage and support you…” Fair weather friends can be a source of stress and not one of fulfillment. Fostering genuine friendships require a little work and often a willingness to be open and vulnerable. This can, understandably, be scary for some. The reward is a support system that can catch you when you fall in life. It can be those to encourage you when you feel like you can’t go on. They can bring you that source of inspiration when your life is caught in a rut. All of these will lead to a life that is certainly more fulfilling.

How do we establish and grow genuine friendships? Ironically, this is a skill we are actually better at as children than adults. If you look at the quote above, it states true friendship involves being understood and understanding. The first quality is to understand that life is both give and take. To gain a genuine friend is to be one. We must not enter a friendship thinking only what we can gain, but what we can give as well. As mentioned earlier, we must also be open to being vulnerable. This can be scary at first. Sharing our inner most thoughts and feelings. What if this person chooses to use them against us? What if they laugh, or think us crazy? This is why it is easier for children to make friends. They don’t really seem all that concerned about this happening. The truth is, neither should you. Yes, some people may hurt you and use things you tell them against you. That speaks more about them than about you at all. It is also a good way to weed out who is worth being a genuine friend and who is best left with a surface relation. A safe way is to share a little at a time. Slowly deepening the friendship.

Why do you think genuine friendship can lead to a fulfilling life? It certainly can. We have only touched on but a few of the benefits. What are the benefits of friendship that mean the most to you? How do you go about creating genuine friendships along with keeping the ones you have? Feel free to share all of your answers and ideas in the comments below. We would love to hear them!

FULFILLMENT ACCORDING TO YOU! 👈

We have some very exciting and empowering things coming up in the next few days. My fourth book should be out this summer. Inside it, you will find the tools and strategies to live a rich and fulfilling life. In short, how to go from striving to thriving. You may be asking yourself how there can be a manual on how to live a fulfilling life when the definition of that is different for everyone. That is a very intelligent and thought-provoking question. The answer is, at once, simple yet complex. While it is true that each one of us has their own definition of ‘fulfilling’, there are some common threads that will make any life more fulfilling when put into practice.

If you have read any of my previous 3 books, you will know that each of the tools and strategies I present are not only universal, but can be customized to work for the individual and their life circumstances. To further illustrate this point, I implored the followers of this blog, as well as friends and associates, to share their definition of a fulfilling life. We are going to highlight some of their answers and take a little deeper dive into them. We will also add ways in which we can put their ideas into practice in our own life to wake up with a greater sense of fulfillment.

The book, and this question, is far from over. If reading some of these answers and they inspire you, feel free to add your definition of what makes life fulfilling in the comments below. Your answer could be featured in our next post, or maybe even in my fourth book!

HOW TO BE COOL 😎

It seems these days everyone is looking to be cool. They might not phrase it that way. Perhaps they want more ‘influence‘. There are different terms for it, but people want to be significant and stand out. Above is the ticket to doing so.

You may dismiss these behaviors as insignificant or not very impressive. Let me assure you they are so rare they will impress anyone you use them on.

Here is a little challenge. As impressive as these are on their own, the more you do, the cooler you will be. Perhaps print a copy off and see how many you can check off in a day. See if you can manage to do the whole list.

Which behavior on this list do you think makes somebody cool? Let us know in the comments below.

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