If we are to rally against anything in life, it should be the version of ourselves that is less than we know we could be. It is one of the greatest battles we will ever face, and one that never ends. This may sound overwhelming, but it really is not.
Yes, it is true we must be diligent every day to make sure we strive to be the best version of ourselves. Even when we achieve that goal, we must work hard to maintain it. If we conquer our temptations and fix our diet, we know that sugar craving is there hiding waiting to stage a sneak attack. If we go to the gym and get our body back in shape,we must fight to maintain that. There will be the temptation to take a day off, which will lead to another, then another.
This fight will go on for the rest of our lives. It is not that we can never claim victory. We can, in fact, claim victory every night that we know we did our best. Every time we live up to our standards. We can win the battles daily. When are days are winding down, we will know if we have one enough battles to win the war. That is to say, we have lived enoughgood days to have made it a good life.
One final note. Far too many of us meet sudden and unexpected ends. That is why it is so important to defeat the bad version of ourselves daily. We want to start stacking those victories as soon as we can. How about you? Can you declare victory today?
Here is a reminder that in the midst of spring cleaning, working on getting that summer body back and wondering where our New Year resolutions went, that we should always have a little fun.
The quote in the picture above captures this perfectly. Feet dirty, hair messy and eyes sparkling. The first thing that came to mind was a charity race I did a few years with Margie’s daughter. It was 30 obstacles in about 5 miles. Raised money for children with cancer. At the end of it, we were covered in mud, scrapesand pride.Not only had we completed the challenge, we raised money for a great cause.Our eyes were sparkling.
The next thing I thought of was children. When we are young, every day is an adventure. We dive right into life. Our feet are usually dirty, our hair is usually messy, but our eyes are usually sparkling. I think we need more of that as adults. I would love to hear what you do to put the sparkle back into your eyes.
While I continue to celebrate ice melting as winter turns to spring, I thought this quote was a great one to meditate on. It is the end of the week. It may have been a tough one. Things in the world are pretty crazy right now. There are lots of lives being turned upside down daily. The temptation to quit has never been greater for many. Sometimes just hanging on can seem like quite a struggle. Change and improvement can see like a far off horizon we cannot even see.
Think of the fact listed above. The shift of just one degree turns water, a liquid, into ice, a solid. One degree transforms it into something else entirely. I have heard this same advice applied to hitting a golf ball. Your swing can seem terribly far off, but if you just make a one millimeter change in the way you hit the ball, after going the distance, your ball will land in an entirely different area. The change is small. The result is huge. Can you see how a slight change in angle can result in an entirely different landing? How one degree can turn a liquid into a solid?
This is true is matter such as water and ice. It is true in golf and the effect of changing your starting angle. Do you know what else it is true in? Life. It can seem like everything around you is collapsing, and it might be. You might still be just one degree, or one millimeter off from a complete transformation of your life. Think of decisions we have made in our own life. Just like our examples above, the change was obvious right away, but given some time and distance, dramatic change will occur. Water takes a bit to freeze after you hit the temperature. That golf ball as to travel after you hit it at the new angle.
Think of decisions you have made. Maybe you decided to quit smoking. The change may not have happened by putting down that last cigarette, but making that decision can radically improve your life. Same with starting a new morning habit like meditation. You may not notice something on the first day, but after a month your days will feel radically different. How about writing in a gratitude journal at night? Once again, the first day may not yield any new results, but by the end of the month your life will be different.
Life may seem very overwhelming at the moment. Don’t give up. You might just be one degree, one millimeter or one decision away from an entirely different life.
Today is International Client Day. A celebration of all the people that make your business possible. If I am being honest, I think of the people that follow this site, or purchase my books, more as a family than clients. A like-minded community of individuals striving for a better life and to become the best version of themselves.
I am certainly grateful for every person who has ever read a word here. You are part of the family. Even more impactful are those who comment. Sharing your thoughts and opinions add quality and content to what we allshare and learn here. Whether that is on this very site, in our Facebook group or anywhere else. In places such as Italy, Lebanon and England I have received great advice on books to read, people to listen to and thoughts to ponder.
All of our family, which some may call ‘clients’ I am eternally grateful! Thank you for sharing this journey with me!
Anyone who knows me, or has followed this blog for any length of time, knows that I am a big fan of Mr. Rogers. I refer to him as one of my favorite modern-day philosophers. Many people think that his teachings were just for children. I could not disagree more. In today’s world, how many times have we seen adults acting out and think to ourselves, “They should have watched Mr. Roger’s episode on what to do when you feel angry.” Basic human decency and handling our own emotions are skills many of us could use a little refresher on from time to time.
There is something else that Mr. Rogers did for us that does not get enough attention. He was always one of our biggest fans. Even though he did not know many people personally, through the medium of television, he conveyed a genuine message of respect and appreciation for all of his ‘neighbors’ watching at home. We were reminded that there was something special inside each one of us. How many people in our lives speak to us this way? How many people tell us that they like us just the way we are? I am guessing not too many.
We may fall short of this belief in our character. We may speak to, or treat someone harshly. We may not do as good of job as we are able. We may not live up to our ability. Here is the thing, Mr. Rogers explained that it is important to love someone a little bit extra during those times. What a great lesson this is. We can apply it to our friends, our coworker and even our spouse. When people are disappointed in themselves, that is when they need to be loved the most. Next time you know someone has fallen short, let them know that you still “Like them just the way they are.” It will mean a lot to them and positively transform your relationship with them.
One of the most important people that we can practice this on is the person in the mirror. How many times have we done something that did not live up to our standards and then continued to punish ourselves for it long after the event? You might have been trying to eat better but caved in and had one of the free doughnuts in the break room. You meant to keep in touch with friends and relatives better, but life got busy and here it is a week later and you haven’t called. We can get down on ourselves and continue to put ourselves down for what was a step on becoming the best version of ourselves.
Nobody likes to feel the pain of regret and disappointment for an action they have taken. Here is a secret. That pain can often be a great driving force to improve our actions and attitude going forward. This I can speak to first hand. I have made many mistakes in my life, and will no doubt make many more. Do I feel disappointed in myself sometimes? Sure. I do my best to put those feelings of disappointment to work on motivating me to become the best version of myself. Even when I drop the ball and make mistakes, I know my intention is to improve and be more kind, compassionate and loving to those around me. Mistakes can be beneficial too. Knowing that even with my mistakes, I am still worthy of love and respect allows me to look in the mirror and say, “There’s no person in the world like you, and I like you just the way you are.” Does this take a while sometimes? Absolutely. Especially when I have made a big mistake. What I learned from Mr. Rogers is that it is important to be able to say this to both others and ourselves. That is the secret to compassion. That is the secret to love.
What a great thought this is! Trees that have a great root system underground can withstand stronger winds than those that don’t. What does this have to do with us and living an amazing life? Plenty. When you set out towards a goal, or even just life in general, there will be plenty of storms. Some are just gentle storms. You might get a flat tire. Sure, it ruins the day, but you can get back at it without too much stress and struggle. Maybe a little lost time and inconvenience.
Then, there are the more serious storms. Losing a job for example. That is like a tornado of a storm. There are still bills to be paid. Food that needs to be purchased. Gas that needs to be put in the tank. You need to have a solid support system for that one. Having a loving spouse that can ease the burden. Maybe a group of friends to help you network. The worst is the loss of someone you love. That is a category 5 hurricane. You need to have deep roots to withstand that one. A strong faith. A group of loving friends. Self-care to help keep you above water.
Here is the important point to remember. Much like trees take time to have their roots grow deep, the same is true with you and I. Deep relationships take time to build. Discovering and practicing self-care takes time. Finding a faith that speaks to you and gives you peace in time of struggle can take time. Storms, however, they can come on quick. That is why it is important to begin to work on our roots today. Foster those loving relationships. Search for a spiritual practice that works for you. If you already have one, practice it regularly. Learn about different methods of self-care and take care of yourself.
We cannot control the storms of life, but we can grow our roots to help us withstand them. One we have no control over. The other is completely in our control.
Have you ever given much thought about how you make others feel? It is my mission in life to leave the world a better place than I found it. When Margie and I DJ together, I tell her my three goals with everyone who walks in the door is to have them laugh, feel a little bit better about themselves then when they walked in. If it is a couple, I want them to be just that little more in love with each other when they leave us. To me, making someone feel good is one of the best rewards in life. How about you?
In a world where it seems everyone is trying to be heard, how many of us are listening to each other? Sarcasm seems to be the order of the day. People try to get a laugh, often at the expense of other people’s feelings. Many people lack the basic refinement skills. Do you consider how what you are going to say may affect another person? If you do, is it to uplift, empower and encourage them? Can you imagine if we all made that our goal? Today, think of how your conversation will affect those you share it with. Do your best to lighten the load of all of those you encounter. I would love to hear a story about how someone made your day!
This phrase may seem counterintuitive. With many observing Lent, I thought discussing fasting and sacrifice would be prudent. Many people fail to see the point of doing without. Aside from the spiritual benefits, there are some great self-improvement benefits as well. We will look at a major one that may have you rethinking how you look at giving up things.
I use the analogy of being stranded in the desert. You have no food, very little water. It is hot during the day and cold at night. In a very short time, things can get dangerous. Let’s imagine you make it 3 days and are suddenly rescued. All your rescuer had with them is water and saltine crackers. I can tell you, that will be one of the best meals you have ever had.
If I were to offer you those same two items at an “all you can eat buffet” How much would you enjoy them? For most of us in the industrialized world life is pretty much an all–you-can-eatbuffet. We have a roof over our heads, clean running water, food and a place to sleep. We don’t think of these as luxurious, but take any of them away for even a day and our opinion would certainly change.
That is why fasting different things for a period helps increase our appreciation for them. This could include eating sugar,drinking coffee, or even your spouse. There is great truth to the saying, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I can personally attest to this. When I walk through the door after a hard days work, my lovely Margie is that much more beautiful than when I left her that morning.
How about you? Is there something you could try doing without to renew your feelings of appreciation for it?
Last post we talked about sending out messages of love and encouragement. Many people asked the same question, “Neil, I would love to send out a message, but what do I say?“It seems we are not used to sending out messages like this. It may even seem awkward at first. With practice, it will become easier and your words will become more impactful.
Back to the original question. What do we say in a message of love and encouragement? A good start is to ask yourself what would make you happy to hear from a friend. A safe bet is always gratitude and appreciation. Telling someone how much they mean to you and why is one of the best messages you can deliver.
Above are some examples of inspiring messages you could send. These are just to get you thinking. They can be tailored to your specific person. Another fun idea is to reflect on a fun memory the two of you share. It could be a vacation you took together, a nice dinner you shared or simply a cup of coffee and conversation you enjoyed. Positively reflectingon that could be enjoyablefor both of you.
How about you? Do you have any suggestions on good messages to send? By sharing our ideas with each other we inspire a revolution of love and encouragement!
Isn’t it great when you receive some good news first thing in the morning? Maybe it is a phone call from a friend? A text from a loved one, or a greeting card in the mail? With modern technology, coupled with old-fashioned ideas, there are so many ways to send love.
Why bother sending love? In a world that seems to get crazier by the minute, sending someone some loving thoughts becomes a gift greater than ever. When you are sending thoughts to encourage, uplift and inspire someone, you are strengthening that relationship. Can you imagine how your life would change if you would send out one loving thought a day? That would be 365loving messages in a year!
Sending love can take a few seconds if it is a text, to a few minutes for a phone call or a greeting card. I suggest picking up a pack of cards and a book of stamps so you are prepared when the mood strikes. You will spend less then a half hour doing this in a week, yet you will drastically improve both your life and that of the recipient.
In my upcoming fourth book, I go into greater detail about how to do this and the benefits you will receive. I would love to hear about ways you send out love. Who knows, they may even make it into my next book! This week, try sending out at least one loving message a day of one kind or another. See the change it makes.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 