Tag: inspiration

I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE HERE!🥳

This really is a thing!

Today is National Author’s Day. I was not even aware this was a thing. (It really is. Feel free to Google it) Seeing that I have just published my third book, The Beat Goes On, I am doing my best to convince my lovely lady she should take her author boyfriend out for some tasty Italian dinner.

Here are some great ideas

In all seriousness, when I think about that fact that I have published 3 books, and am working on number 4, it seems surreal. Most of you know the story of my high school English teacher. If not, let me give you the very abridged version. On the very last day of school my senior year, she stared me straight in the eyes and told me, “I pray to God you will never have a career in writing.” To her defense, at that time I was likely to agree with her.

This was a fact that escaped my memory until after my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, was published. It is just as well I forgot or it might have put even more doubt in my mind. My point is never let anyone tell you what you can’t do. Even if the facts seem to back them up at the time. A rebellious kid who tended bar and sang in a rock band is now the author of 3 books and counting!

Another important theme on National Author Day, is to share your story. It doesn’t even have to be a book. Although, I must confess it is a great way to leave a legacy. You can start a blog, a YouTube channel, or a podcast! If you are crazy like me, you can do all four! Just get your story out there! You will entertain many and inspire those who need it.

Today, show some love for your favorite author. Trust me when I tell you there is a lot more to writing a book than you may think. It takes a daily battle to slay the dragon of self-doubt. The more you write, you just add the thought of “Will this one be as good as the last one?”

Support your local author today! Leave a positive review on their social media, post about them on yours, let them know what you thought of their work. Buy a book for you or as a gift for a friend. If you are interested in checking out my work, I will leave a link to my Amazon page below. Click it and read some reviews, leave one of your own, pick up a copy of any or all of my books and see a picture of myself and my lovely lady! Thank you all for your support of not only myself, but authors everywhere!

CLICK HERE TO SEE MY WORK AS AN AUTHOR

SECRET TO AN AMAZING…RELATIONSHIP!😍

Last post we discussed 2 actions we could take to help us live an amazing life. If you haven’t read that, I highly encourage you to do so. Today we are going to focus that even further. We are going to look at 2 things you can do to have an amazing relationship. People often ask Margie and I what the secret to our amazing relationship is. In a nutshell, we tell them lots of hard work. That may turn some people off. “I don’t want to be in a relationship that is hard work.” We hear them say. If you want any relationship to be the best it can be, even the relationship with ourselves, it takes work. That work can be some of the most enjoyable and enlightening work you will ever do in your life. The payoff? It is more valuable than gold. The question then becomes what kind of work should we be doing? Let us look at just 2 things you can do daily that will have a huge positive impact. There are endless ways and actions you can take to improve the quality of relationships, but let us start with just 2.

Before we jump into the first secret to an amazing relationship, let me ask you a question. If you worked really hard to get in the best shape of your life, and got there, then stopped working out, what would happen? Would you maintain that physique? Of course not. If you work really hard to create the relationship of your dreams, and you even get there, what would happen if you stopped working on it? Would it remain the relationship of your dreams? If you learned all there was to know about computers, and then stopped learning, where would your knowledge be 2 years from now? Computers are a rapidly changing and advancing field. You would be little better informed that someone who has never turned a computer on. Do you know what changes more rapidly than a computer? People! Specifically, in this case, your partner. You need to grow and develop in this field just to maintain the love that you had, not to mention, growing it to new heights.

The first secret to an amazing relationship may sound basic, but it is not. That first secret is to listen. Not just to formulate a response to what your partner is saying, but to learn. Ask yourself, “What is my partner sharing right now?” or “What is my partner really feeling right now?” Do what is called ‘active listening’. Do not just passively absorb words, but really listen to understand. In an age where everyone is looking to get noticed, how valuable of a gift is it to help someone feel significant and noticed? Why would you not want to do that for the most important person in your life? When we listen to our partners with a desire to increase our knowledge about them, there are so many gifts that come with that. We learn what makes them happy. We learn what does not make them happy. We learn what would make a good gift for them. We learn their hopes and dreams. If we put effort into our listening, we will end up making our life easier and our relationship better.

That leads us into our next secret for an amazing relationship. That is to learn something new about our partners everyday. You may think that you have been together so long, there is nothing left to learn. That couldn’t be further from the truth. There are so many ways to learn about your partner. You can do so by listening with the intent to learn. Keeping the question in your head, “What can I learn about my partner from what they are telling me?” will help you listen intently. You can also learn by observing. When you are out at the grocery store together, notice what brand of ketchup they like. What kind of tortilla chips do they like? Are they the same kind you do? (this is a big one in our house and I can tell you the answer is no.) When you are out celebrating together, notice what dishes they like to order. What do they like to drink? All of these bits of information can serve you and your relationship later. Here is both the gift and the frustration. Once you learn all of these things, a lot of them will change. People learn and grow and their tastes change. That means you will never have your partner 100% figured out. This sounds frustrating, but it is a good thing. You always have an opportunity to learn.

There you have it. Two little things that will make a big difference in your relationship. Imagine learning one thing a day about your partner. In a year you will have learned 365 new things. Even if they are little things, that will make a huge difference in your ability to be a good partner and to create a loving relationship. Many people may think this sounds like too much work. They think they can’t be so disciplined everyday. It is a lot of work, but it will be fun and enjoyable work. Unwrapping your partner and relationship is much like solving a great mystery. When you don’t feel like putting in the work, think of our fitness and computer analogy. Even if you have an amazing relationship at the moment, if you don’t continue to put in effort, it will not stay that way for long. As for being disciplined to work on your relationship everyday? I will just leave you with the quote below.

NEVER STOP DOING THIS!😮

People ask me what things I do daily that makes a difference in my life. There are a few, but 2 of them I would like to share with you. I cannot urge you enough to add these to your own life. When you hear what they are, you might wonder if I, and more importantly you, have to do them every day. I would respond with a question of my own – Do you really want an amazing life? Do you want less stress and more joy and fulfillment? Do you want to love deeper and laugh more often? Then yes, than you should absolutely do these 2 things every day. You can even do them several times a day, if you are very driven and ambitious. That is not necessary, but will speed up any improvement you will experience.

Just like the picture at the start of this post says, these are small improvements. They are of the 1% variety. You may not think they will make much of an impact or difference. Again, like the picture above, 1% everyday over the course of a year really adds up. It is not, however, 365%. If you know about compounding interest, you are improving 1% on someone who is 1% better than yesterday, so it compounds. Over the course of a year, you will end up 37 times better! All from making small, almost imperceptible shifts once a day. That is a lot of return for not a lot of effort.

Secret number one to creating an amazing life is listen to or read a little something that will help you improve yourself everyday. This doesn’t have to be an entire book. It can be something as simple as a YouTube video. Keeping yourself inspired and motivated is not a one-time event. Zig Ziglar said it best, “People say motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” You can listen in your car. You can wake up 15 minutes before the rest of the house to read a few pages of something inspirational. You can listen to an audiobook on your morning commute. There is always time to sneak something in. I cannot convey in words strong enough what a difference this has made in my life. Do not take my word for it. Prove it to yourself. For just one month, listen or read something everyday that inspires or motivates you. I challenge you to prove this to yourself.

The second secret? You guessed it. Learn something, at least one thing, everyday. This can happen in so many different ways. The world and its experiences are teaching us something all of the time. What makes this even more powerful, is if you do some focused learning. Pick a subject that is very important to you and add to your base of knowledge about it. Today, I decided that I should listen to some videos that offered ways in which you could improve your intimate relationships. Now, I think I am a fairly good man to my beautiful Margie. I actually work very hard to be so. That does not change the fact that I do not know everything. If I could improve my wonderful loving relationship by 1% a day for 365 days, how loving would we be? You can spread this knowledge growing around to several subjects. One day it could be videos about improving your relationship. The next day, an audiobook on the way to work about how to increase your self-discipline. The following day? How about a book of parenting tips? The word is full of knowledge to be gained. Even a little bit everyday will make a huge impact.

People ask me if they really have to do this everyday. My answer? No, you have the gift of opportunity to do this everyday. You don’t even need to spend any money. There are resources online, not mention a library in almost every city with thousands of books. Can you imagine having the knowledge of just 1% of those books? Can you picture the positive impact that would have on your life? These are 2 things that I do, without fail, every day. The difference in my life cannot be understated. Do it today!

MONDAY MOTIVATION!🥳

Today is Monday! This doesn’t have to be a day to struggle. Look at the breakdown of the word Monday in the picture above. Just a little something to think about as we start the week. Tomorrow, we will look at more ways to keep our energy at a peak as the week goes on. Until then, feel free to share with us what you do to get fired up on a Monday.

SCARCITY CAN BE YOUR POWER!😮

Scarcity is something I normally would not recommend focusing on. After all, where focus goes, energy flows. Today, we are going to have an exception for this. Today we are going to find out how to use Scarcity to help us live an amazing life.

The picture above, which would be a personal nightmare for me, shows when there is only one piece of pizza 🍕 left and several hungry people, it becomes more valuable. The same can be said of so many things in our life. A depreciating supply results in an increasing value. You should probably read that last line again.

Margie and I have conflicting feelings on several topics. That’s what keeps the spark in our relationship sometimes. One of those is the ticking sound of the clock. I find it soothing. Margie, on the other hand, says that it reminds her that her life is ticking away. That is literally true I suppose. Everyone of those ticks of the clock is a moment in time we shall never have back. She is also right about something else. Everyone of those ticks is also bringing us ever closer to our end.

Many people cannot bear this thought and do their best not to think about it. By doing so, it is my firm belief they are leaving one of the best motivators on the table. Yes, everyday the grim reaper gets one step closer. It is my hope for all of us that he is a very slow walker, but we never know. He could catch us in 20 years, one year, or tomorrow. Knowing that any day could be your last should motivate you to make it your best.

I’m hoping we are all taking care of our mind, bodies and spirits. Maybe we are not to concerned about our end approaching. There is one very important thing that Margie can remind us of. The most valuable asset we have in our life is a depreciating asset. That is time. In essence, our life is a depreciating asset. As we discussed earlier, this makes it ever more valuable. Like the pizza, every day we have one slice less.

To many this could seem doom and gloom, but it shouldn’t. Let me share with you what I thought of when I heard this. My mind, as it often does, thought of Margie. I always remind myself that on any given day, it could be my last opportunity to tell her that I love her and remind her how beautiful she is. That is why not a day goes by where I do not do that. Hearing her thoughts on the clock and thinking about the disappearing pizza made me realize two things. One, that it is national pizza month and I could really go for a slice. Two, and more important, is that our time together is depreciating. That means with every second that ticks off the clock, there is one less opportunity to say “I love you” to each other. That also means, every time that we do so, each one becomes more valuable because there is less of them left! Think of that when hugs, kisses, and “I love you” begins to become taken for granted.

All these thoughts are not limited to romantic relationships. It could be one less second to teach your children valuable life lessons. One less second to share your gifts with the world. One less second to be mindful and take in that sunrise you are enjoying. Life, our life, is a depreciating asset and every second it becomes more and more valuable. Next time you hear a ticking of a clock, or watch a second hand moving around, or the minutes pass by on your cell phone, remember this. Use it to motivate you into making the most of your every more valuable life.

ARE YOU THIS KIND OF PERSON?🤔

I think it would be safe to say that most of us underestimate the effect we have on others around us. We hear a lot about emotional trauma people are still feeling from a hurtful act that someone did to them years ago. How many of us still carry around a hurtful memory of a cruel thing someone said to us? It seems painful emotions seem to leave more of a lasting impression. If we think long and hard enough, can’t we remember a teacher who believed in us? How about a meaningful compliment someone paid us that made our day? I do believe we need to put more emphasis on these for two very important reasons.

The first reason is that it helps us balance ourselves and realize that we can overlook a lot of positive experiences that occur in our lives. This can leave us feeling that life is far worse that it actually is. When we were young, when did we right in our diaries? Usually after a heartbreak or some very upsetting moment. As adults, we have to realize to record all of the peaks, as well as the valleys. This can leave us with a feeling of hope and optimisim.

The other reason we should put more attention on the positive inspiring moments should be obvious, but in case it is not, I shall explain it here. One of the most selfish things you can do is to do something for someone else. Why is it selfish? Because it leaves you with such a great feeling you often leave filled with even more joy than the person you helped. One of the greatest ways we can help is to just make as many people as we come in contact with a little happier. That could be through an act of courtesy, a genuine compliment, or another random act of kindness. If we did this for as many people as we can in a day, and each one gives us that feeling of joy, imagine how we would feel at the end of the day?

When you strive to bring light and joy to as many lives as you can every day, there are so many wonderful side-effects that occur. First, you find yourself more popular. People remember your name. Not because of what you did for them or said to them necessarily, but because of how you made them feel. When they do see you, chances are they will greet you with a smile and pleasant demeanor. Can you imagine if 90% of the people you encountered greeted you this way? If you strive to be the person who brings light and love to every situation, they will. Everyone likes someone who makes them feel good. Be that person.

DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH ‘DUH’ TIME?🤪

Here is an example of how ideas and inspirations can come up when you are least likely to expect them. This one was relayed to me last Sunday night, or what would more accurately be described as very early Monday morning. After a night of DJing, Margie and I were speaking to our friend Heidi. She is a good friend of ours and this site, often adding very thought-provoking comments to a lot of my posts.

This particular conversation highlighted our morning routines. Mine was about to begin in roughly 2 hours after we completed our show and got back home. We usually get home about 2am and my alarm goes off at 4:45am. This is an every Monday ordeal. Heidi mentioned that in the morning she has what she referred to as ‘Duh Time’. When pressed as to what this actually meant, she explained it was just time sitting in silence not thinking or doing anything. Just sitting there mentally unattached. In a world where many of us wake up and grab our phone or check our emails, this is a very healthy alternative.

These moments of silence are worth their weight in gold. Starting our day with some time for ourselves and our thoughts allows us to get ourselves together. Before injecting any outside influences into our day, which can often be of the negative variety, we have a second to just breathe and relax. If we want to make this even more powerful, after a few minutes in silence, we could add some thoughts of gratitude or gratitude affirmations. There is another thing that happens during this ‘Duh Time’.

Often, our subconscious mind will have been working on a problem that is vexing us in the background. This happens while we are sleeping or otherwise occupied doing something else. When if finally comes up with a great idea and solution, it has to relay that information to the conscious or waking mind. The trouble is, when we are always busy thinking or doing something, there is no opportunity for our mind to speak to us. It is like trying to interject a meaningful replay to a friend who never stops talking. You may have the greatest idea, but they will never hear it if they don’t stop and listen. They same can be said with your mind. We need to stop and listen.

Give yourself some ‘Duh Time’. Your mind will thank you. Your day will thank you. Your life will thank you. I would love to hear what benefits you have found in sitting in silence. Is there a morning ritual that you find helps you live an amazing life? Share it with the rest of us so that we may benefit as well.

GO BACK AND REMEMBER ❤️

This is one of the first pictures Margie and I took as a couple. It is also one of my favorites. This morning while I was relaxing and enjoying my morning coffee, I was scrolling through the pictures on my phone looking to eliminate some I did not need anymore. This is always a good practice to do every so often. There was an interesting side-effect to all of this. As Margie worked obsessively on a cake she is making for a contest, I was thinking how adorable I found her even when she is stressed out. Here is a little side note about the love of my life, she is one of those people who look adorable in every picture they take. This always fills me with a mix of pride and envy. I thought of this as I scrolled through my pictures.

As I scrolled through the pictures, I noticed all of the things we have been through and all the moments we have shared. I saw all of the wonderful people we had spent time with. I noticed how we changed (She got cuter, I got older) and the different ways that we showed our love for each other. It made me stop and be grateful for something that I might not always appreciate to the level I should. After all, I have a beautiful lady and have had the opportunity to create a beautiful life with her by each other’s side. This not only holds true for romantic relationships, but friendships as well. Family too. Think of all the years and events that people that have shared life with you. A trip down memory lane may very well strengthen the wonderful feelings you already have for them.

This evening, why not take a moment and put together a group of pictures of someone who means the world to you. This could be a lover, a friend, a parent or a child. You could put a special album of pictures in your phone, you can have a photo album made or make one yourself. Look through it every once in a while and appreciate how much they have added to your life and how different life would be without them. As a bonus, you can do this for yourself. Capture some of your greatest moments throughout the years. Think of not only all you have accomplished, but all you have made it through. This will only make you love your life, and the people in it, more than ever. I am going to leave you with another one of my favorite pictures of the love of my life. It was the first time she ever made me a cup of coffee and was so proud. Proof she is as beautiful as an angel, even first thing in the morning!

FORGET AFFIRMATIONS, DO THESE INSTEAD!💡

Here we are, Monday morning! We have a great and powerful idea to not only discuss, but to put to work this week. The title of this post may shock you. A site dedicated to self-improvement tell you to forget affirmations. After all, affirmations have been suggested in almost every success book published, including mine. They help keep your goal front and center and keep you focused on the positive. They have also been suggested in many Law of Attraction books and even the movie, The Secret. With all of these sources mentioning affirmations, why would we be telling you to forget them in favor of trying something else?

Affirmations do a lot of great things and they certainly have a place in self-improvement. They do have one little problem, our own mind. Have you ever tried repeating “I am wealthy and drive the car of my dreams.” While you climb into your 2005 Ford escape? I mean hypothetically? Your reasoning logical mind can’t help but use your 5 senses to point out that this indeed is not your dream car. Affirmations are most powerful when they have a corresponding feeling to back them up. You can repeat “I have the lover of my dreams.” but if the other side of the bed is empty, that wicked conscious mind will let you know that you are one person light of a great relationship.

So, how do we manage to get a feeling of where we want to be, when our mind keeps pointing out where we currently are. Even those of us with the best imagination can find it difficult to imagine they are in the Maldives when they are shoveling snow in below zero weather. There is a way to turn the tables on your mind and make it work for you instead of against you. This can be summed up in one line – ask it a question.

When we ask our mind a question, it doesn’t rest until it comes up with an answer. Unfortunately, we often use this against ourselves by asking disempowering questions such as, “Why does this always happen to me?” or “How come I can never lose weight?” What if we used this power to help us reach our goals? How can we do this? By phrasing our affirmation in the form of a question. Precluding our affirmation by asking our mind “What would it feel like if ____” This causes our mind to use all of our senses to visualize our goal. When shoveling if you asked yourself “What would it feel like if I was in the Maldives?” Your brain would come up with answers such as, “I would be warm.” and “I would feel light instead of having six layers on.” Your mind will come up with the scent of the ocean, the feel of the sun, the smell of the tropical food, the taste of the cold cocktail and the sound of all the people playing in the pool.

Asking yourself a question causes the brain to come up with an answer instead of arguing with reality. It will help capture the feeling of the goal being accomplished instead of preventing it. This will help you accomplish your goal within a very short time. Why not try this for the week and see how it goes. At the very least, you will give yourself a mental vacation.

YOUR GARDEN SAYS A LOT ABOUT YOU 🌻

What can your garden possibly reveal about your life? A lot. For those of you that are like me and have a thumb that tends to be a little more brown than green, fear not, it is more than your garden. If you have a garden, or just a yard around your house would you want it to look good and be doing well? I think most of us, especially those that read this blog, would answer in the affirmative. If, for some reason, your garden is not looking so good what would you do? Would you give up and just let it go? Would you spend extra time pulling up weeds and watering it? Would you call someone who knows better than you? In my case that would be my good soul friend Shannon. Maybe you would read up and study the different plants.

These may all seem like logical answers, but how you treat your garden has a lot to do with how other aspects of you life will turn out as well. What would you do if your relationship was not looking so good? Would you just let it run its course? Would you perhaps leave and go to a different relationship? That is like tilling a new field with the same gardening skills. You are likely to get the same result. Would you get in there and start working on pulling weeds (addressing problems) and watering (adding love wherever you can)? Would you read a book that can tell you more about how to have a successful relationship? Would you call a friend who has a great relationship?

You may think that this isn’t so. You may think you can put forth great effort in one area, such as a relationship, but slack off at your job. You may think that being a great father or mother and a great husband or wife take two separate traits. That is not really so. Consistent action, admitting to ourselves and others that we do not know everything and seeking the wise counsel of others, whether that be in person or through some other medium. Develop successful habits in one area and it will be a lot easier to do in others. The danger here is that it is a double edge sword. Develop lazy and unproductive habits and they will carry over to other aspects of your life, no matter how hard you try.

As Aristotle said, we are what we repeatedly do. What do you repeatedly do everyday? Is it successful habits? Are there areas which you could improve? If you are human, I would imagine the answer to the second question is a resounding “Yes!” This is good news, because it means there is room for both you and your life to get even better than it is now!

Here is a suggestion that I found worked in my own life. Start by putting habits in place in areas you are confident in first. If you are looking to be more self-disciplined, would it be easier to keep to a schedule at the gym, or getting up without hitting the snooze button? Start there and develop the habit. Once you have discipline in the area of life you are confident in, it will be easier to apply it to other areas of your life. Also, be on the look out for areas in which you are starting to develop bad habits. Are you slipping at the gym? Are you showing up for work late? It will only be a matter of time before this starts affecting other areas of your life. Make sure you address them as soon as you can.