Tag: Health

REVISTING AN OLD FRIEND..

In several past posts I have mentioned the benefits of keeping a journal. If you are not a regular follower of this blog in addition to me telling you that you should be, let me recap for you quickly some of the benefits. One, it is the cheapest and easiest therapist you can employ. Even the fanciest journals generally cost lest than one visit to a professional therapist. Two, there can provide clarity when our thoughts are going in a million different directions all at once. They also can help you focus on and see the challenges you are facing, and in going back and rereading, if you so desire, can give you examples of past challenges you have overcome. They also can highlight things you have to be grateful for. it can also be a great place to hold a conversation you may not trust to anyone else. It is the perfect ‘old friend’ it doesn’t judge. it is completely unbiased and will listen as long as you care to talk/type/write.

The reason I bring this up today is the past three days we have looked at sources of inspiration and motivation that we can have delivered to us daily. Well in addition to keeping us focused, moving us towards our goals and keeping our spirits up these daily bits of information can be used to help formulate our thoughts for a journal entry. What did the daily inspiration remind you of? How did it influence your day? What do you think about the thought and opinion expressed in general. if you are using the day by day calendar, you can even tape or glue the page right in your journal. Once we start thinking and writing amazing things can happen. If you are not already keeping a journal I strongly encourage you to start now!

FIND YOUR PASSION!

In past blogs I have discussed the importance of finding your passion and what a difference that will make in your life. I will discuss that very difference and how to accomplish it in tomorrow’s post, but for today let’s get started with step one. What exactly is your passion. If you were to ask most people what their passion is very few would even know. Fewer still are probably doing anything about it. Involving some kind of passion in our lives can add all sorts of wonderful things. joy quite simply of doing something you love. model trains? Airplanes? The study of quantum physics? Astrology? Everyone has a passion and should incorporate it into their lives. it also gives us something to look forward to during the work day, just try to stay focused or the boss may be displeased. It can supply us ideas for vacations. Extra income opportunities or places to spend our pocket-money that would bring us the most joy.

So the question still remains, how on earth do you discover your passion if you do not know what it is? Once you discover it how do you become passionate about it again. Then once you do, what then? The last part we will address in tomorrow’s post. To answer the first part let me tell you some ideas I heard in an interview with Peter Diamandis, author of the great book Abundance the Future is Better Than you Think Mr. Diamandis suggests thinking of what we enjoyed as a child. What did we love to do before we were convinced we couldn’t? Make a list of all of these. Did you want to be a race car driver? A fireman? President? list as many as you can. Now, the second one is more what I used, but if you combine them the results are even better. Think if someone gave you a billion dollars and said “change the world in any way you would like” what would you do with it? write down as many answers as you can for this one too. you should be able to see a pattern developing. Do all of your ideas involve adventure? Animals? helping people? Now you should be able to pick out a rough idea of your passion. write that down. Now how to feed that passion that we are so inspired we take action. Not just today, but consistently day after day. here is the way to do that. Begin to list why that certain thing excites you. Why is helping people something you are passionate about for example? This was brought to my attention by two amazing friends of mine Carmen and Alysa. I had begun trying to decipher my passion and my purpose in life. Reaching no life-altering revelations I decided to enjoy the benefits of a distilled beverage made from sugar cane, rum if you will. I went down to see my friend Alyssa where she works because not only do they have rum there, but Alysa’s smile can brighten your day so much you may be inspired. As luck would have it my amazing friend Carmen was there as well. The three of us struck up a conversation and Carmen mentioned she always felt happy when we got together. Alysa agreed and mentioned she wish there were more people like me. Let me tell you I was extremely flattered to be spoken so highly of by two amazing, not to mention beautiful women that it got me to thinking that I really did enjoy making people smile. Couple that with the experience I had at the meal program I mentioned in yesterday’s post. I decided that was my passion. Now what could I do with it. That we will discuss tomorrow. So play the fun game mentioned in today’s post. Use the tricks brought to us by Peter Diamandis. Discover that passion and get your desire for it red-hot. We’ll discuss what to do with that burning passion tomorrow!

THE COMMON THREAD PART TWO…

Yesterday we looked at the things negative people have in common. I did that for a couple of reasons. One to show that positive or negative is not a result of bad genes, or luck or destiny. What those are is excuses. Whether your life has more joy or sorrow is a matter of decisions. it is a matter of small choices we make daily. If you are not satisfied with the amount of joy that appears in your life it is time to stop looking at outside circumstances to blame and start looking at the decisions you make. So what decisions should you make? That is a great question.

Here is the first big decision you must make. It encompasses several areas we will look at in greater detail in just a moment. That decision is what to focus on. If you are deciding on trying to add more joy to your life you have already made a positive decision on what to focus on, what brings joy into your life. This sounds like a no brainer until you are asked by some innocent bystander or an inquisitive blog writer at the post office. How long would it take you to rattle off 5 things that bring bliss into your life? If you can right off the top of your head you are in better shape than most. now let us take a look at those five things. Do any of them contain things you wish were not in your life-like our example of our negative lady yesterday? If you said “it would make me happy if I didn’t have to go to work” or “drive through rush hour traffic” you are missing the point here. you are focusing on what your life is lacking. Everybody’s life is lacking in some areas and abundant in others. The trick is here that positive people focus on what they have. My friend George, the insurance man I have mentioned in here before was one of the first ‘happy people’ I asked for his secret to maintaining joy. Without a second of contemplation he answered “I count my blessings I suppose” in other words George focuses on what he has in his life. I am sure George would rather be retired and drink coffee while talking town history with the locals, but he does not focus on that. he focuses on the fact that he has a job where he does get to meet people and help a good deal of them. Now I imagine in the insurance business as with any business dealing with the public there are a few challenging customers, but I have never heard him focus on that either. Just mention that he enjoys meeting so many wonderful people.

Another secret positive people use, and one I use frequently myself is to focus on the goal you are striving for verses everything that stands in its way. If for example your goal is to get to and maintain a healthy weight, do not focus on what you way now, or how many times you must work out, the food you must give up. These are all thoughts that will discourage you and bring unhappiness and failure. Instead think about all the pluses you will have. More energy, more vitality. You will be able to wear different outfits, do more things. It is like the issue of quitting smoking. How many people tell you they are going to “Quit smoking” they are already focused on what they have to give up just by the mere title of it. Plus, quitting is generally not used in good terms. Few people say “I am working to become smoke free” that is focusing on what you have to gain. A more pleasant smell, more stamina, more energy, longer and healthier life.

I believe it was Earl nightingale who gave us this definition of success “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal” what this means is as soon as you decide on a worthwhile goal and begin to pursue it you are a success. Even if you haven’t achieved it yet, even if there are bumps along the way and you may take a step back or stumble. if you keep pushing towards that goal you, my friend are a success.

So there are the two most common traits of happy people. They have a feeling of gratitude while focusing on all the good they have in their lives. As well as focusing on the goal they are striving for and all the good that will come with it instead of where they are now and all the obstacles they will have to go through. So I hope you have developed a plan for this weekend. Begin to appreciate all the good in your life that you have to enjoy and stop focusing on what your life lacks. Have a little money? it’s better than none! Pick a ‘worthy ideal’ to strive for, imagine all the benefits achieving it will bring you. Stoking your ‘why’ enough to get you excited. Ask the people in your life what makes them happy. Take away what you can and develop some of your own secrets. Have an excellent weekend my friends!

ONE SECRET KEY…

In life there are many tips and tricks we can employ to assist us in living a better life. Among these there are the few secret keys that can have a radical effect on several areas of our life, but changing just one thing. Today we are going to discuss one of these. The funny thing about these keys is they are often deceptively simple. How would you like a trick that could make every business meeting more productive? Every moment with a friend or loved one more enjoyable? Every difficult situation go a little more smoothly? Of course you would. Who wouldn’t? not anyone reading a blog like this one I am sure. Here is this key, simple and to the point – a sense of purpose – Now what do I mean by a sense of purpose? Decide ahead of time what you want out of any situation. Perhaps you have to make a call to apologize to a friend you may have upset. Before you dial the number take a second to decide what it is you want to solve in this phone call. Do you wish to convey that fact that you feel terrible about hurting this person’s feelings? Do you wish to find a plan for the future so this doesn’t happen again? Or is your goal to just repair the friendship at all costs? Repeat your goal over and over in your mind for several minutes before you actually call. Perhaps you may even wish to write it down so you can have it in front of you? Then while you are in the middle of the conversation you thoughts and words are directed to your desired outcome. If the conversation starts to get off track, think of your goal and how you can steer it back.

Now this does not only have to be a ‘problem solving’ issue like stated above. It can work wonders in almost every other area of your life as well. On your way home from work, decide what you desire out of the evening with your spouse or family. Is it to convey your gratefulness for their love and support? Is it to show them that they are loved? Or is it simply to avoid screaming at them in frustration? The last one is kind of a joke, as you know from former posts I am always insistent on stating things in the positive. Especially goals! Now think of instead of dreading going into that boring work meeting you say to yourself, “What do I wish to get out of this meeting?” decide on that and the meeting may take on a whole new look. Say you are meeting your friend for coffee or dinner just to be social. Think of what you may wish to discuss with this friend. Do you wish to inquire on the health of their family? Let them know how grateful you are that you are friends? Perhaps even encourage them to finish that book they have been writing. That last one may have been a hint for my friends. now, the point here is if we enter any situation with a clearly defined desired outcome it may make fun times that much more enjoyable and the hard times a little more bearable. The point here is not to obsess. you do not have to have a goal for going to the bathroom other than the obvious, or for enjoying a rum and coke, which for me is rather obvious as well. Just try to add a few more into your life and you will notice how quickly your life can improve!

pick your posse

Your selection of friends be they supportive or weighing. Smart, funny, depressing, spiritual, or just plain insane. Choose wisely as this will go a great way in defining your life experience

As I mentioned on Monday, this weekend was my high school reunion.  It was a rare chance to be in a large group of people having conversations that you may not have planned on. On a daily basis we are generally surrounded by a select few people. The key word here is ‘select’. Who does the selecting? That is the key point here. I found myself a few times in conversations that were rather uninspiring to say the least. I had not really noticed how much my circle have friends has changed, or to be more correct evolved as my pursuit of a more successful and rewarding life has. If your goal is to lose weight, you would not make it a habit to hang around people who have issues of over-eating. Consequently, if your goal is to live a life with more optimism, more direction, and more determination, you should make a point to befriend and spend time with people who if not have those very qualities, but at the very least will hold you accountable. So take a good look at your current circle of friends, is there someone who is always a ‘Negative Nancy’? Someone who always says “woe is me”. Limit your exposure to people who limit themselves, because inevitably they will end up limiting you. Now I can hear you saying “I would love to Neil, but they are my friends!” I can respond to that by offering you two very important pieces of information. First, if you do not value your own well-being over that of someone else’s hurt feelings you are not going to continue to evolve in life. Now, you don’t have to be mean, ditch your friends all together. In fact, I always recommend trying to get them involved. There are people I have the pleasure of speaking with on almost a daily basis and I have enlisted their help in accomplishing my goals. All you have to do is make yourself accountable. I have said to a friend of mine, “Kim, every time we chat, ask me how the book is coming or ask me how the writing went” Not only does it hold you accountable, but your friends play a key part in your success, which fosters a feeling of gratitude within you for the friendship. Thus, the friendship becomes stronger. Now, back to our negative nancy example. If you say, “Sandra, I am trying to build a more optimistic outlook, so if you hear me sounding negative can you give me a reminder?” that may work in one of two ways. One, your friend may develop a more optimistic outlook themselves by assisting you. If so, great. They may also go with the Debbie downer aspect and say things like “OK, but it won’t work” In this case you don’t have to comment on their negative attitude or even try to fix it. Just run like hell! maybe not literally, but let this be a red flag. Now if you are still concerned with limiting or even eliminating negative people from your life, you can start by adding positive people. Think of the area of your life you wish to work on. Weight loss? Find a friend who is a healthy eater, sticks to their workout routine, or even just has a very encouraging attitude. Finances? Find a friend who is good with their own. Start spending more time around them. With adding more positive influences, the negative ones with naturally fall away. So, take a look at your current circle of friends. are there some you could benefit by spending more time with? Some you could do with spending less time with? Then make up your mind and begin to pick your own posse!

Don’t think about it

Everyone has heard of the value of positive thinking. In fact one of the best books one can read is “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale. That being said there is a problem with positive thinking. I believe it was Tony Robbins who said “The problem with Positive thinking is you have to think about it” What we need is a change in perspective. You must train your brain to think as many positive thoughts in a row. Our brains have been trained since birth to find the problem in any situation in order to fix it. This kind of thinking sure does have its benefits, but it also has its drawbacks. First, it keeps us focused on what is ‘wrong’ with any situation in our lives, which in turn prevent us from focusing on what is right and beautiful. Second it creates neural pathways in the brain that keeps us focused on our problems instead of our blessings. It has been said that people routinely focus on the ten percent that is wrong in their lives to the detriment of the ninety percent that is right. Initially that sounds hard to believe, but just imagine having a toothache while on a vacation in a tropical paradise you have won and you get the idea. It is not our fault that we think this way. When we are young our parents teach us what not to do and how to address problems that may arise in life, which is surely good advice. Then in school far more intention is placed on correcting our deficiencies than growing our talents. The same holds true in the working world. So how do we change this life-long way of thinking? Start employing several of the ideas listed here especially the one in the post entitled ‘Start out easy’ which will help us focus on the positive aspects and events in our lives. Second, here is a fun game you can try with yourself. The first time I tried this is shocked me how ‘badly’ I did. That being said remember you are fighting against a learned behavior that has been ingrained over years, decades, maybe even longer. So be patient with yourself. The idea here as with all of my posts is to have fun while working your way towards a more amazing life. Here is the game. Try to think as many positive thoughts as you can in a row. These can range from “My what a beautiful garden” to “I am so grateful for my dog”. As soon as a negative thought pops up you must start over. You will be surprised at the amount of negative self talk going on inside your head. Again, be patient with yourself. When I first started this I thought to myself “Hey Mr. amazing life blog writer, Mr. happy book author, you’ve got this” My personal record for the day…five. Yes that’s right I could not get past the fingers on one hand. So why play this game? To depress us with how negative our thinking really is? No, to begin to retrain our brains to incorporate the positive as well as the challenging. Life is all about balance and dancing around like Mary Poppins is not going to help us learn and grow. That being said neither is sulking like Eeyore. One other interesting fact that I happened to notice is how insane some of the negative thoughts that honestly would pop up in my head without me even noticing. I think if counting how many times I called myself stupid, dumb and countless other things in my own head during this test I would’ve needed fingers and toes. Not only did I notice those thoughts as ‘ruining my streak’ but noticed how ridiculous they sounded. I made a mistake and was usually harder on myself than anyone else it affected was on me. So be patient with yourself, have fun with this and let’s see if you can beat five!

KEEP STUMBLING

If you aren’t stumbling you aren’t moving forward. This was the exact thought I shared with a friend who was dismayed at her attempts to get over a bad relationship and move forward.  It was only after our conversation I realized the true power of what I had said.  Think of any situation in life.  Learning to play an instrument, starting a new job, all the way down to when we did first learn to walk.  Did you just start slow and keep getting better?  How did you get better? In every situation there was some stumbling, either literally in the last example or figuratively in the first two.  By making mistakes we are moving forward.  I often learn the most about people after we have a disagreement about something.  I also learn the most and remember the best after I make a big mistake.  Think of some of the most physical or emotionally painful things that have happened to you.  There are usually followed by the phrase “I’ll never do that again”.  To our credit, most of us don’t, with the glaring exception of celebrating too much on a Friday night.  The truth is, quite often the more painful the lesson, the more powerful the lesson.  Whenever we are trying to accomplish something great we will always suffer some measure of defeat.  The ones who accomplish greatness are the ones who don’t let it stop them.  So next time you catch yourself stumbling remember at least you are moving forward.  It is not possible to stumble while standing still.

CARRY IT WITH YOU

What if you could learn the secret tool that Einstein used to develop a good portion of his theories?  What if it was the same tool that helped a famous engineer design many of the products he patented? What if I told you this same secret was used by successful authors, business people, and other successful people of all areas? Would you want to know it? What if I told you this secret would cost you less than a $1? Well here is the great secret.  It will help you access the mountain of untapped knowledge trapped in your subconscious mind.  It is…a pen and a pocket-size notebook.  Now before you find yourself feeling disappointed. Let me explain.  Have you ever caught yourself having a flash of brilliance where you come up with a solution you have been working on for months?  I’ll let you in on a little secret, it didn’t just happen at that moment. Your subconscious had been working in the background on it for days, weeks, months or who knows how long.  Same goes for flashes of inspiration.  How many times has this happened to you?  How many times have you struggled to remember what it was ten minutes later? something to the effect of “I had the perfect gift for my aunt, but now I can’t remember what it was” Now not all your ideas will seem so great later on, but the majority just might.  Not only will it relieve some frustration and help you be more productive, it also helps train your subconscious how to communicate with your conscious thus bringing about more knowledge for you to work with.  So before you dismiss this as old-fashioned, or not useful just remember we wouldn’t have E=mc2 without it.  If you still worry about looking funny with a pen and paper with you, they also make great new apps for tablets and smart phones that are just like notebooks. You will be amazed and excited at all the great ideas you capture!

It makes scents

In two other posts we shared how to use two of the senses to infuse joy into your life.  We used hearing in the post titled ‘Happy CD’ and we used vision in the post titled ‘Vision Board’.  If you are not familiar with those I would suggest going back in the archives and rereading them.  Well we are now moving on to our third sense, smell.  How powerful is the sense of smell.  Some say it is one of the most powerful senses for bringing up memories.  Realtors use the scent of baking chocolate chip cookies to try to sell homes.  Here is a more powerful example I heard of recently.  A medical university studied the power of smell on a group of rats.  Now I know what your thinking, rats are not people.  In which case I encourage you to come check out the bar I work at.  In all seriousness, here is how the experiment went.  The had two groups of rats, one the injected with a chemical that causes cancer.  Just enough where it would begin to tear down the rats cells, but not enough to cause the cancer to grow.  In the second group they gave a super vitamin shot to.  After doing both they filled the rat’s tank with the smell of camphor.  They did this over and over.  Finally all they did was release the scent of camphor with no chemicals.  What do you think happened? The one group of rats continued to progress towards developing cancer while the other group continued their upward healthy spiral.

So how can we apply this to you and me?  Well if we are trying to sell our homes, bake cookies and stay away from rats that smell like camphor.  Seriously, think of a fragrance that you enjoy.  I rather like the scent of coconut because it reminds me of vacation and lovely ladies covered in tanning oil.  I also like the scent of spiced rum, but if you were to go around smelling rum, you may be tempted to drink said rum and that may not always be appropriate.  Back to our post today.  I suggest figuring out what scent inspires you.  Does the scent of pine make you think of the woods and adventure?  Vanilla give you a warm and fuzzy feeling? Whatever it is, get yourself a nice bottle of essential oils.  I know a lot of people like ‘Young Living’ oils, but any quality essential oil will do.  A lot of homeopathic stores, or organic grocery stores will have them.  Keep it in your car, at the office, or wherever you may need it.  I have a bottle of peppermint at the office that gives me a quick pick me up with I need it. Just one more quick tool to change your state when you need it

THE TALLEST BUILDING IN TOWN

I was listening to a cd the other day.  I want to say it was one by Tony Robbins.  It reminded me of a situation that often gets under my skin.  Now I try not to let too many things get to me, but here is something that does.  Perhaps you know someone who does this.  Perhaps you, yourself are guilty of it as I think we all are at some point in our lives.  The question is simple, How do you get to have the tallest building in town.  There are two answers.  Which one you choose goes to show a lot about the kind of life you are living at the time and the kind you are going to live in the future.  The two choices are simple.  If you want the tallest building in town you can either knock everyone else’s down or you can work on your own.  Now I think the answer as to which is better is fairly obvious.  Still, how many of us hear people, or ourselves put people down, or minimize their accomplishments because we don’t feel strongly about our own?  This causes us three kinds of problems.  First, when people hear you belittling someone else’s life, they think, even subconsciously, “how are they talking about me when I am not around?”  This may lead to mistrust on the part of your friends, or at the very least, a lack of desire to share details of their life with you.  What that gets you is relationships that are not as close and beneficial as they could be.  Second, when we put down someone else, it is because we feel inferior to them in some fashion.  By putting them down, instead of forcing ourselves to work harder we provide ourselves an excuse not to improve our lives.  In other words work on our own building.  Lastly, when it comes to the law of attraction, when we celebrate our friends, and even our enemies victories no matter how hard that may be, it draws the same thing to us.  In simple terms, when you finally achieve a goal do you want everyone putting you down? Saying you succeeded just because “you were lucky” or “got all the breaks” I would guess the answer would be no.  So next time you hear of someone’s success. Cheer them on.  Celebrate as if the success was your own.  You will make them feel better and life will work better for you.  If we all just worked on own buildings we would build a far better city, and a far better planet.  We can’t control what other’s do anyway, so let us just focus on us.  Start the positive revolution one person at a time.