Tag: healing

MIRACLE AT THE DRY CLEANERS 👕

Here is a story that was relayed to me that I would love to pass on to all of you. It is a prime example where you can go from being a victim, to being a miracle worker. I warn you that doing this is not easy or for the faint of heart. What I can promise you is that it will bring you boundless joy and help transform the world. Does that sound like I might be reaching for hyperbole? Hear my story and decide for yourself.

My friend was working at a dry cleaners. I am sure on an average day most transactions transpired like the picture above. Both parties smiling and things going smoothly. Maybe a lot of them are people complaining about the price of dry cleaning? I really don’t know as I have worked with the public, but never in a dry cleaning concern. What is certain is that if you work with the public for long enough, you are going to have a tough day. It is just such a day that our story takes place on.

An older customer came in looking to get a suit cleaned. “This is a very important suit. I need it cleaned very carefully and back in a timely fashion.” the woman stated. My friend informed her of the charges and the lady paid. My friend prepared the suit to be sent off to be cleaned. He marked it urgent and placed it ahead of the other garments that were to be sent out for the day. The next day he was expecting to see the suit come back. It did not. As expected the lady came it to retrieve her garment. My friend had to apologize and inform the older lady that it had not returned yet. “It is important I get that suit back on time young man.” she asserted once more. My friend promised her he would look into it.

The following day came, but the suit did not. The lady appeared before my friend and inquired about picking up the suit she had paid to get cleaned. When informed that is was not present, she became incensed. My friend told her he would call the location that cleaned the item himself and he could call her with an answer. “I’ll wait.” she informed him, becoming angrier by the minute. My friend picked up the phone and inquired about the nice suit he had sent to get cleaned. “Umm…that one, yeah we lost it.” the voice on the other end of the receiver told him. He glanced up at the elderly woman who was becoming impatient for an answer. “Can you find it?” he implored. “We will look and call you back.” He hung up. “Well, what did they say?” she pressed. He swallowed hard before giving his answer.

When informed the garment had been lost, he had expected her to be upset. What he did not expect was the rage and expletives that followed. She repeated how important this suit was and how she needed it back right away. Just then the phone rang and it was the warehouse. “Yeah, that suit is gone.” He was told unofficially that sometimes nicer items, such as this suit, had a way of disappearing. Could he really tell this lady who was already so upset that someone might have taken it? The man on the other end of the receiver suggested that my friend offer a coupon for the next time she wanted something cleaned. How that would work if you lost the first item is beyond me, but that answer is easy to give when you are not face to face with the customer.

Seeing how upset the woman was, my friend decided to take a different approach. He recalled a saying he once heard, “Hurt people hurt people.” He went over to the woman and said, “Ma’am, I understand you are upset about your suit being lost, and I don’t blame you. However, is everything alright?” Now, after being cussed out and screamed at, would you consider that customer’s feelings? Most of us would have to honestly answer ‘no’. My friend did and this is where the miracle occurred.

After my friend’s question, the woman broke down in tears. Between her sobbing, she explained the suit had belonged to her only son who had just passed away. His funeral was that weekend and she wanted him buried in his finest suit. Soon, my friend’s eyes were also filled with tears. He asked the lady if he could give her a hug. Suddenly, all of the vicious things, and expletive rants made sense. It wasn’t anger over a lost suit. No, it was the pain over the loss of an only son. After she had left, my friend called the owners of the dry cleaner and explained the situation. The contacted the woman. Although they were never able to find the suit, they gave her money to buy the best suit in town for her son as he was laid to rest.

The point of this story is that my friend took the time and effort to discover what the woman was hurting from. Instead of compounding the woman’s grief, he may have very well showed her, through his compassion, that others really do care. Suffering the loss of her only son was a grief he could not take away, but seeing a young man care so much for a stranger that was cursing him out, may have given her a little feeling of hope.

If we understand that it really is hurt people that hurt people, we can go from victim to being someone’s angel in time of need. Is that easy? No. Not taking someone’s insults personally and still showing enough compassion to inquire about their pain can change the world. Not only for them, but for the world at large. How about you? Are you able to brush off a personal attack and consider that person may just be expressing they are hurting? It doesn’t have to be a stranger. Think of how many times this happens in families, at the workplace or even between loving spouses. Understanding their anger may be coming from a place of pain will allow us to heal in a way we could not if we just feel like a victim.

EMERGE FROM THE DARKNESS 🧟‍♂️

A few posts back, we discussed the importance of self-care. If you missed it, I highly suggest giving it a quick read. One of the two reasons we gave for healing yourself was the ability to pass the knowledge of what worked onto others. This is priceless information. Often, when we are going through pain, we can compound the emotional struggle by feeling alone. It can seem as if nobody in recorded history has had the problem we are facing. We may know that is not true intellectually, but it can still feel that way from an emotional standpoint.

Imagine, if you will, how healing it would be to hear from someone who has faced similar challenges to what we are now facing? If they could share with us how they overcame it? How valuable would both of those things be? Speaking for myself, they could make all of the difference in whether or not I make it through a situation. I often wonder why more people do not realize the power of sharing not only their successes, but their struggles. On social media, it would seem everyone wants to appear perfect. Being imperfect is where it is at, if you ask me. It makes you more relatable. Who can relate to someone who has a perfect life? Certainly not me.

The most interesting thing happens when I tell people that they are a healer or a hero. Whether it is out of modesty or maybe even ignorance, they just blush and say, “Not me. I am nothing special.” That could not be further from the truth. Every struggle you have made it through and lived to fight another day is a victory. “It was messy and a screwed a lot of things up.” they say. Great! You don’t think someone hearing that despite doing seemingly everything wrong, you still overcame and later thrived could be valuable? “What if what worked for me doesn’t work for them?” they ask. That’s fine. Knowing something can work in that situation can give them courage to try their own solution.

Please understand that having a life that is not perfect does not make you less than. What it does make you is a healer and someone who could help and inspire others. As long as you had to suffer the pain, put it to good use helping others. You never know when your struggle could save someone else.

HEAL YOURSELF 🧘‍♀️

It is shocking that even in this day and age, self-care is considered selfish by many. This could not be further from the truth. There are many reasons why this is so, but we are going to look at two that I think we should consider. The first should be rather obvious. When you work on healing yourself, be that from a personal trauma, or just from the stress of daily life, you allow your best self to shine through. Why is this so important? You then become the best version of yourself. This is one of the greatest gifts you can give to others. Showing up to meet your friend for coffee when you are lacking sleep, barely able to concentrate on what they are saying and falling asleep when they are talking is not that great of a gift. Sure, it is great that you are spending time with them, but it is not quality time. Now, saying, “I am sorry I need to get some rest. How about meeting next week?” may seem selfish. If you show up next week and are able to not only to stay awake for their story about sick aunt Agnes, but offer valuable insight on their story as well, that is a far greater gift.

Bringing your best self to any situation is a great gift. It means you are being the best parent, the best friend and the best lover. Taking the time to heal and make sure you are able to share your gifts with those around you is not selfish at all. In fact, by taking the time to bring your best self, you are giving them a gift. You are giving them the best of you that you can.

The second reason that self-care is not selfish may be even more important. The knowledge you gain and are able to share. When you discover ways to heal yourself, you can pass those ways on to others. Maybe you are really busy and live a stressful life. You find ways to balance that stress and not get overwhelmed. How do you do that? Do you think there are other people who would like to know how to do that as well? I bet there are. Have you found a way to heal your soul after losing someone very close to you? Taking that time, and engaging in those practices, will allow you to help someone else heal too. That is one of the best things we can put out into the universe, to help others heal. If you rush through life, do not take time to heal yourself, it will not only cost you, but it will cost others. You will show up as only a shell of yourself. You will not learn any healing methods that work for you and may help others. To me, this is far more selfish than taking time for yourself.

Take time for that meditation or yoga retreat. If you need to say “No”, than do it. Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It is actually one of the greatest gifts you can give to those around you and the world itself. Taking care of ourselves will allow us to share the best of who we are and every healing modality we learn. Self-care is not only care for ourselves, but it is one of the best things we can do to care for others.

LOSING YOUR KEYS CAN MAKE IT SO CLEAR 🔑

This blog post was influenced by a story I heard relayed by Wayne Dyer. I like Wayne. He was a great guy. This story really helps clarify a point a lot of us have a hard time visualizing. Come along for this little story, won’t you? It begins with a lady who loses her keys in her apartment. As she begins to look for them, the power goes out. It is completely dark. She looks out her window and notices that a street light is on. She thinks to herself, “Why am I looking in here in the dark? I am going to go outside where the street light is on.” So, she proceeds to begin to look in the street for her keys. Soon, the neighbor sees her looking and comes over. “What are you looking for?” He asks. She explains she is looking for her keys. He offers to help and they continue to look for roughly half an hour. Trying to get a better idea where to look, the neighbor inquires where she might have dropped them. “In my apartment.” she replies calmly. He asks her why on earth she would be out here looking for them if she knew they were in her apartment. She explains the power outage and how it is too dark and difficult to look inside, so she came out there where the street light was on.

This story may sound crazy, and it is. Why would someone look outside for something they know is inside? Yet, is that not what we do when we are trying to fix a problem in our life? We know the work needs to be done on the inside, but it is often to dark and difficult in there. We then switch to the outside world where things are far easier to tackle. Just like the lost keys example, we can search all we want for a solution, but unless we look inside, we will never find what is missing. Much like the approach Western medicine takes, if you will allow me to mix my metaphors, we are merely treating the symptoms and not the cause. There is no way that we will ever have a cure.

MY LITTLE MIRACLE

I ended last week with a post about the local coffee shop and how they helped my spirit through these challenging times. I would be remiss if I did not mention my personal angel, my own little miracle, my beautiful Margie. There have been so many little things she has done throughout my healing journey I am forever grateful for. It actually started even before my surgery when she gifted me a journal and helped me on my journey to create a book about this entire journey. It will be out by July I promise you. This will not only be a benefit to you, the reader, but it helped me capture my emotions and to deal with them in a far healthier way that had I not been writing. She also gave me a shirt that said, “Never thought I would be this good looking after open heart surgery, but here I am killing it”. That is my baby, always making me smile.

She also had some very unenviable tasks. Can you imagine what it is like to live with someone who is used to working at an active job and going to the gym 5 days a week and now has to just relax for 3 months? Can you imagine how much that person may try to sneak and do things that they probably should not? How about how much you would have to cheer this person up when they feel like their healing is not moving along fast enough for their impatient liking. Having to watch the person recovering go through many different episodes of pain and telling them to go back to the hospital when the pain became too much? Especially when you consider that was the last place they wanted to go back to?

During my surgery, I was wrapped up in how scary it was to be in that situation and not be able to have any visitors. It could not have been any easier to know the person you love is going through it and not being able to visit them. Margie handled it all with grace like only she can do. When I returned she made sure I had food to feed my stomach, and provided me love to feed my soul. When we both got the coronavirus shortly after I came home from the hospital, she managed to continue this amazing streak of behavior despite coughing and not feeling well herself.

Even today, four months after the surgery, she continues doing things that really help. She has started exploring healthier ways to cook so we can make sure my heart does last as long as it can. She has been working on rearranging the house to make it more relaxing and pleasing for both of us. She continues to make me laugh and show me affection. She has been doing all of this while she goes to school two days and week and spends a good deal of time on the other days creating unbelievable cake creations.

You may not believe a person like this really exists. What would you call someone who can pull all of this off? I call her many things. I call her Margie (Margaret when she lets me get away with it), my love, my little miracle. The greatest thing and the thing I am most grateful to call her is – mine. I am so thankful that I have a woman like this to share my life with.

GIVE TIME TO HEAL

Read the symptoms above. Now consider what the opposite may be. When we are with people they can seem to exhibit many of these symptoms. To us it may seem as if they come out of nowhere. Yet, we are not always aware of someone’s complete life story or the trauma they may have encountered. In many cases, as we looked at last post, they may still be going through it.

It can be frustrating to compliment someone on their inner or outer beauty and yet they are unable to see and certainly appreciate it due to circumstances they have been through. It can be difficult doing our best to get to know someone and yet they are unable to let us in. We can be confused and at a total loss when we watch one of our successful friends walk around in a state of depression because they are unable to feel like they are enough.

The key word in all of these is unable. If were up to them, they would love to feel beautiful. They would love to trust us and they would love to feel like they are enough. We may not have the knowledge or ability to help them on their healing journey, but we do have the power of patience, love and understanding. Being compassionate with our fellow humans can often being a tricky business. Losing our patience, however, can only add to their pain and delay their healing. We may not be able to heal the cause of their pain but we can show them through our words and actions that they are loved. Most importantly, let us give each other the space and time it takes to heal. 

MAKE THIS ONE SWITCH TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR THE BETTER


Today is ‘Hump Day’ the middle of the week. A lot has probably happened to all of us. As we get closer to the weekend and begin to focus our thoughts on all things more positive and weekend oriented, let us make one more important change. The change I am speaking of is mentioned in the picture above. Instead of claiming to be broken and helpless, switch that mindset to growing and healing.
This may seem like an inconsequential change, but it will create a brand-new lifestyle. When we focus on what is wrong in our life, or how it has damaged us, we bring ourselves down. Doing this repeatedly can leave us feeling helpless. Nothing could be further from the truth! Yes, we have all been hurt and many of those hurts can leave us damaged emotionally, spiritually, or even physically. That we cannot control. What we have complete control over is what these scars mean to us.
Being in a victim mode can lead us to think that our scars make us ugly and damaged. In contrast, when we switch our mentality to understand we are growing and healing, then we realize our scars are badges of honor. They show the world, and even more important ourselves, that we have made it through some really tough situations. It also gives us a measure of credibility to help those who might be going through the same things.
Another thing we do that will leave us feeling like a victim is assigning blame on others. “It is their fault that I am ____” Really? If that is the case and you let others control your state of well-being you will always feel helpless. Instead realize that while others may make us angry/sad/hurt or a million other unpleasant emotions, choosing to stay in those emotions is a choice we make. Instead, try this thought on for size, “This person really upset me, but because of that I am now a stronger and more determined person than I was before.” or one of my favorites, “I reacted to you and allowed my emotions to get the best of me in the moment. Now I shall use that to motivate me to take control of my own emotional state and become an even stronger and better person. Thank you.” Feel free to create your own. In fact, I am always on the lookout for new affirmations in this arena and would love to hear what works for you!

ARE YOU AN UMBRELLA?

I love this picture. Two innocent children sharing an umbrella in a storm. As an adult we have an opportunity to share an umbrella every day. To take that thought further, we have a chance to be an umbrella. At this point you may be wondering if I know exactly what an umbrella is for or if I even know what an umbrella is. Why would anyone share an umbrella if it wasn’t raining? Even more absurd, how can a human being turn into an umbrella? Fair questions if I were the one reading this post and not the one writing it.

In its simplest terms an umbrella is an instrument for protecting us in a storm. It is the definition not of umbrella that should concern us here, but that of storm. In life there are many storms. Yes, there are thunderstorms when the winds are blowing fierce and the rain can seem unrelenting. It can be scary to be out in it. We may not want to risk driving if we don’t have to. We may want to stay inside our homes where we are safe.

What we may forget is there are many storms we face every day. There are health storms where the thunder of pain is louder than anyone can imagine. There are financial storms where the debt continues to rain down on us no matter how hard we work. There are the painful emotional storms when the winds of struggle and strife blow us off our path. There are many storms my friends. Storms of addiction, storms of loneliness, storms of depression. They say in life you are either on your way into a storm, in the middle of a storm, or coming out of a storm. As Eric Thomas said, “Storms are a part of life, but storms are not life.” All of us face storms each and every day.

As you can imagine, the umbrella for all of these storms can be a little different. It can be an umbrella of compassion for someone who has just been hurt or defeated. It can be the umbrella of encouragement for someone who has lost their way. It can be the umbrella of motivation and inspiration for those lost in a storm of negativity and pessimism. There are some umbrellas like love, friendship and listening that seem to work in every storm.

Just like you can walk with a smile on your face through the most intense storm, so can others. Daily, there are those of us who wake up and put a smile on our faces even when we are in the middle of a storm. Just because someone is smiling does not mean the rain is still not falling. Offer everyone you know an umbrella. When given the chance, be the umbrella they do not have. We are all going through storms and we can all use an umbrella.

IT WORKED!!!

A few posts ago I informed everyone of my current medical challenges. The amount of thoughts, prayers and well wishes I received were amazing! I was overcome with emotion. I felt so grateful and so loved.

Another thing that amazes me is the expression of determination and confidence in faith expressed by many people who follow this website. This website honors people of any and every faith. As long as you honor and love each other, what faith you do so doesn’t matter here.

Interestingly enough, I experienced my own miracle while in the hospital. The aorta coming out of my heart was enlarged you 5cm, the size in which the do open heart surgery.

While pondering what this meant for me and my life, I continued to read how friends, family and even people I have never met continued to pray for me. I did my best to relax and feel their love.

For clarity the doctors decided to conduct another test. After what seemed like an eternity, they came back to tell me they now had a measurement of 4.5 cm, where I can just remain on medicine and go for observation. While not ideal, it certainly beats open heart surgery.

Was this just an inaccurate measurement by the first procedure or was it something miraculous? That would depend on your beliefs. All I know is that hearing the strong faith spoken by my friends Julie, Kelly, Mimi and others gave me was invaluable.

You add that to my mother and of course my beautiful Margie staying by my side giving me love and support, and it turned a very trying experience into a miraculous one.

Thank you to each and every one of you who prayed, sent well wished and kept me in your thoughts. I’m certainly not out of the woods yet, but at least more informed and confident going forward. To me, it helped demonstrate and prove the existence of miracles.

YOU HAVE A BRUISE NOT A TATTOO

We all know someone who lives in their past failures. You know the people I am talking about. They had a relationship and it may have been extremely bad, but now that they are free you hear them say things such as, “all men/women are terrible!” Or “Love is a fairytale.”

They accomplish 2 things by doing this. First, they make themselves feel terrible in the moment by reliving that hurt they went through inside their head each time they think about it.

Second, by repeating phrases like that over and over with a great deal of emotion, they create more of that in their reality. If you were a normal, healthy person looking to have a loving, growth-oriented relationship would you be looking for someone who says things like we mentioned above? Of course you wouldn’t. In fact, you would probably run the other way. This would leave our friend looking around saying “see there are no good men/women around anymore!” Little do they know they are chasing them away with their bad attitude and their desire to live in the past.

Don’t turn your bruises into tattoos! Understand bruises can be painful and depending on the severity, may need some time to heal. Trust me on this. Anyone who knows me can speak for my experience in that field. Still, given time and some care all bruises heal. Yours will too unless you make them a tattoo.