Above is a breakfast sandwich I enjoyed the other morning at my favorite place, The Wisconsin State Fair. It was delicious. Last year, my mother, Margie and I discovered it the first day we went. Shortlyafter that, I proposed to her. In reflection, we all recall the sandwich being quite delicious.
With that in mind, I was excited to bite into this one with the hollandaise sauce,ham, and cheese all in a delicious croissant. While it did satisfy my taste buds, it fell short of the year prior. No fault of the establishment. The ingredients were just as delicious.
What was missing? It was the company, the excitement of the day. Here I sat, all alone, trying to recreate that. Margie was baking and my mother was getting ready to help someone else.
What I learned was that it is the people andwhat you do with them is what makes memories and makes moments special. It not only adds flavor to a lonely breakfast sandwich, but it adds flavor to life as well. If you want to fill your life with happy memories, fill it with special people and loving times.
How many of us could benefit from taking this attitude not only into the gym, but into life. People complain about a wide variety of things. I am guilty of this myself far too often. As we can see in this quote, a change in perception can make a big change in how we feel. While we are complaining about soreness in our joints, there are others who do not have the ability to even use theirs.
This shift in attitude can transcend more than just our bodies. Our environment is another example. Perhaps our house has many issues that require our attention. It can be frustrating. If we were to instead focus on how grateful we are that we are not one of the countless homeless that will give anything just to have a place to lay their heads, it may make those repairs a little less frustrating. How about our job? Statistics say that 87% of Americans do not like their jobs. I would say over 90% of those people tell others they do not like their job. What would happen if they lost it? Do you think they would feel a sense of relief that they are not out of that occupation? My guess is no.
This is not rocket science. When we begin to focus on being grateful for what we have, instead of frustrated for what we do not, we begin to realize how much we have. Not only that, life is far more likely to give us even more to be grateful for. If you are about to dismiss this as some sort of new-age nonsense, let me give you an example. Let us say you were given some candy and you decided to share it with your friends. One friend in particular was very appreciative and grateful for the fact you shared the candy. Who would you be most likely to share with in the future? When you are grateful in a retail setting for the service you receive, do you think the service you get next time will be more likely to be better or worse? Anyone who has worked in retail, or with the public in general can tell you how rare genuine appreciation and gratitude from a customer can be.
If you spend your life resenting all that life has not given you, life will be one unhappy place. If, on the other hand, you spend life being grateful for what you have while working for something better, life will seem magical. You will feel lucky and blessed. Which would you rather feel? It is as simple as changing the way you look at life and feeling grateful.
This statement could not be more accurate when it comes to me and my life. Sadly, I live where this is not a common occurrence. What that pushes me to do is develop other happy places. Why is this important, not only for this author but for you as well? Happy places are not only a perk to have in life, I feel they are a necessity! In a world where negativity and stress can quickly cause us to live in a state of overwhelm, having a place we can escape to is vital! My favorite happy place is a quite beach in a lovely tropical location. Two years ago Margie and I experienced this in the Bahamas. We met lovely people, had amazing food and enjoyed each other. Financially, doing this more often could pose a little bit of a challange.
What to do when your happy place is both thousands of miles, and thousands of dollars, away? Simple, develop more happy places. Who says you can only have one? Yes, I really look forward to Margie and my next trip to paradise, but in the meantime, there are lots of other places that make me happy. Going for coffee with my mother is always a lot of fun. Especially after a nice walk in nature. Conversation with my friend Nick is always insightful. Creating new content with my friend Jason is amazing. Going to the gym after a good night’s sleep and relieving stress is amazing as well.
As you can see, there are certain coffee shops, parks and other places that are happy places. One of the fun things to do in life is creating this list. By creating, I mean write the places down. It is easy to forget, especially in times of stress. Have you ever been going out to eat and can’t think of all the places you have been eager to try? Yeah, kind of like that. Plus, having a list of places that make you happy can be a fun reference. Looking at your list and saying to yourself, “I haven’t been there in a while.” can be fun. Not to mention, planning visits to these places, or with these people, can give you something to look forward to. This will make getting through the day that much easier.
How about you? What are your happy places? Do you have several? Some that are close and easily accessible? Have you written a list down of them? Here is something to remember when creating your list of happy places. They don’t have to be ‘places’ at all. Sometimes a happy place can be in the arms of the person you love. It can be time spent with a certain friend that always lifts your spirits. Then, it is not the physical place that matters so much as the company. Create your list of happy places now, and start visiting them often.
In a fast-paced world that is often very short on positivity, this is so important. We cannot tell who is suffering and who is not. It is not only a great idea, but I think being kind is our moral obligation to take care of each other. The only way that we can turn this world into a more loving and compassionate place is by being so ourselves. You cannot legislate compassion. You cannot decree it. You have to practice it.
My life mission is to leave the world a better place than I found it. To that end, I try to spread kindness wherever I go. The sad fact is that I am only one man, and can only physically be in one place at a time. I say ‘physically’ because with technology, I have the ability to spread words of encouragement and motivation to all the corners of the world. This website has been viewed in over 200 countries and on all 7 continents. While you might not be interested in growing a blog, podcast or YouTube channel, there are still great opportunities to spread kindness.
Many of you reading this have social media of one kind or another. Do you go there just to complain or post pictures of vacation? Why not mix in a message of encouragement and positivity? The world needs it now more than ever! How about positing positive things on other people’s pages? How many of us do that? A few posts ago we discussed how this habit can serve both us and them. A few simple world of appreciation or encouragement can go a long way. Think of how great it would be to inspire everyone who read what you wrote?
Another way to do so is to empower others to spread kindness. Helping others to get out of the world’s spell of seeing the worst in things and people is a precious gift! It is like planting seeds of kindness and compassion that will continue to grow and spread! These are the ways we can truly change the world. Will you join us?
You never know how much you are loved. Rarely do people convey how much you mean to them. Let us be the change makers in that. Tell people how much they mean to you and why. Then, watch them light up and your relationship with them grow closer. It is these actions that will allow us to change the world in a positive way!
Here is a list of the 4 feel good chemicals in the brain and how to get your fix of all of them. Each chemical has a list of 5 actions we can take to get those feel good vibes going. Do you think you could take one of the actions from each category to help yourself? Might not be a bad idea to print this out and have a check list of sorts.
Here is another great way to improve your life and increase the feel good vibes. Pick someone close to you and incorporate one action from each category for them! You will not only only increase their happiness, you will strengthen the bond between you and increase the joy in your friendship.
These lists are far from complete. Think of what actions you could add to each category. Increase the good feelings and vibes as often as you can!
Think of this quote for just a moment. When a baby is born, it has no material things to call its own. When we are about to pass away, any material objects we may own stay here. Wealth may help you get better health care on the way out, which is a sad commentary about our society, but you will leave with nothing. It reminds me of a great quote from Denzel Washington I will share with you in just a bit.
Knowledge of these two facts is not anything that eludes us. We may not dwell on them, but we are certainly aware of the truth of them. Ancient Egyptian pharaohs tried taking it with them, but many years later we open their tombs to find it all still there. Still, in today’s more advanced society, we spend our entire lives in pursuit of material things. To some extent there is more of an accent on things like peace and happiness, but they are treated as more of a commodity than a way of being.
There is the quote I promised earlier. “You will never see a U-Haul behind a hearse. If that isn’t true. Why do we not spend more time and effort on things that will feed both our soul and our legacy? The answer is usually that we are fixed on the idea of comfort, or preoccupied with how we appear to others. It starts when we are young. You have to have the ‘cool’ brand of shoes or clothing. This is true even if another brand is more comfortable and more economical. A good many of us never outgrow this way of thinking. This highlights one of the hypocrisies of living this way. We spend our money, focus and energy on things to make our life more comfortable. Often, these things are not the best option for our life.
Here is one thought to ponder. There is nothing more soothing and comfortable than inner peace. Despite what advertisers may tell you, that is not something you can purchase. There is a song lyric I like that says, “An honest man’s pillow is his peace of mind.” Knowing that I have given my best and tried to focus on what really matters allows me to sleep at night. Not concerning myself with material status or image for others allows me to focus on more important things. How do I make my lady feel loved? How can I add more joy and positivity to the world? Am I taking actions that will leave the world a better place than I found it? These are the important things to be working on.
One great exercise to help you gain clarity on these matters is discussed at length in my second book, Living the Dream. That is the act of writing your own eulogy. To some this may sound morbid, but it will help you gain both clarity and direction for your own life. Pondering what you want people to say at your funeral, and how you want to be remembered, will show you what actions you should be taking now. It will also become abundantly clear if you are currently taking the proper actions, or if there is something you need to work on. How about you? What are you working on?
This is more than some feel good quote. Epictetus, who went from being born into slavery to teacher of philosophy, knew a thing or two about not having a lot. What allowed him to transform his life, and the lives of countless others, was his mindset! We have discussed at length the subject of gratitude on this site. We have done so because it is one of the most powerful tools we can use to transform our life in the quickest period of time. Want to suddenly have a more fulfilling and happy life? Your best bet would be to find as many ways to incorporate gratitude as you can.
Getting back to the quote at hand, what can it tell us about our own life? A good deal. We may not have been born into slavery, but all of us have had our share of hard times. Maybe a job loss or unexpected bill that has set us back. We all have. What makes focusing on what we have verses what we lack so wise? Let us take a look at that. It will help us see that life is really an inner game. What do I mean by this? Let us look at both sides of this quote.
When we focus on lack, life will never feel fulfilling. If we are a person filled with anger and rage and we suddenly win the lottery, have a great spouse and loving kids, what will our life be? It will be one of anger and rage. We spend so much time trying to achieve outer success before focusing on inner thoughts. That is why we see rock stars, movie stars and celebrities who seem to have it all take their own lives and become addicts. They mastered the outer game, but failed at the inner game. If you become rich and successful, but your are unhappy and ungrateful your life will feel like a failure. In reality, it will be.
Conversely, when we focus on what we have we feel fulfilled. This does not mean we will not seek something better. It simply means as we do that we will acknowledge the fact that we have a lot to be grateful while we are pursuing it. When we do receive more, it will feel even more wonderful because we are already living with an attitude of gratitude. It will just give us more to celebrate and feel grateful for. Those focused on lack will never have enough, no matter how much they have. Those who are focused at feeling grateful for what they have will always feel good no matter how little they have.
Can you see the wisdom in this mindset? One feels terrible no matter how good circumstances are. One feels great no matter how terrible circumstances are. Life, at its core, is our emotional state. If we can find a way to be happy regardless of outside circumstances, than our life will be one of joy. That way is through gratitude. After all focusing on what we lack has turned celebrities into addicts. Focusing on what we have has turned a slave into a philosophy teacher. You owe it to yourself, and those around you, to fill your heart with gratitude. It will make you less stressed, happier and more enjoyable to be around. That is a secret to an amazing life!
We touched on this a little in the last post. We should endeavor to bring something to the lives of everyone we touch. It could be just lending an ear to someone who never feels heard. One of the best things we can do these days is offer an uplifting and encouraging message to everyone. The world seems in dire need of such things. There are few universal truths in the world. I think wanting to bring something to the life of everyone we meet is one of them.
Some of you may think you do not have much to offer. Let me assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. Everyone of us have our own unique perspective and our own unique skills that add something to the world. It can be an ability to stay calm in the midst of chaos. It can be the skill of finding the positive or humor in any situation. Again, the ability to truly listen to someone. Not just to reply to them, but to truly understand them is a priceless gift.
Starting today, whenever you interact with people, think to yourself, “What can I bring to this person’s life?” Approaching our personal interactions with the question “What could this person really use right now?”Will allow us to bring our relationships to the next level and improve the lives of all of those we come in contact with. How do you bring something special to those you interact with?
Here is another post about freedom. It is the freedom that is controlled by the power of our thoughts. Listening to some motivational content the other morning, I heard a good description of this freedom. The gym is a place a lot of people dread going or find like their are ‘forcing themselves’ to go to. The ironic aspect is that most of the people who feel this way are the people who are reasonably healthy and working to get better. If you find someone who has experienced a major health challenge such as a heart attack or a form of cancer and they realize that the gym offers them the freedom of a healthier lifestyle. It not only allows them the freedom of better mobility and energy, but quite often the freedom of being alive.
On the opposite end of the spectrum are people for which it is too late to attend the gym. Maybe they let their health slide to a point they are no longer able to be mobile, or even worse. If you would give them a chance to go back in time to go to the gym and reclaim their life, they would jump at the chance to do so. If you are constantly chasing pleasure, you have become its slave.
Quite often, the difference between prison and opportunity exists in our minds. Take your job, for example. Many people feel as if they are in prison when they are at work. Studies show that 87% of people dislike their jobs. A simple shift in mindset could great assist us in this matter. If we realize what our jobs afford us to do. With them we can pay our bills to have a roof over our heads, the lights on and food on the table. Another great way to turn our prison into opportunity is to attach a bigger meaning than a simple paycheck to what we do. When I worked more directly with the public at my day job, I focused on bringing as much joy and encouragement to everyone I came in contact with. Knowing I was doing more than earning a paycheck, I was blessing lives, made going to work a lot more enjoyable. This mentality is one that everyone who works with the public should adopt. Judging by some of the service I have received lately, it is one many choose not to. Viewed simply, you have to be there because you are getting paid. The customer has to be there because they need your good or service. Why not make it the most fun the interaction can be? It will be far more enjoyable for both of you.
Whether it is working out, or working, your mentality has a lot more to do with your situation than even the facts do. Look for the opportunity in every situation and your life will never be the same.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 