At first glance, this statement may sound counter-intuitive. It really isn’t. Let me first start by telling you that wealth is not monetary. We have seen countless celebrities take their own lives with more money than many of us could spend in a lifetime. They were not wealthy.Being truly wealthy consists of having loving relationships. This can be with that special someone, your children, your parents or even your dog! How do you get that? By giving. Giving the gift our time. Maybe it involves giving the gift of our undivided attention. The wisdom of our experience makes a good gift. In the last case, our dog, a gift of a long walk and tossing a ball around would bring happiness and a loving relationship with your dog.
How about being wealthy by having a career we love? We must give for that. Give the time to study what makes our heart sing. Give the time and effort into developing our skills. The more we put into it, or we could say give to it, the higher our return will be.
One of the best ways to be wealthy is to have inner peace and joy. I can think of no better way to get both of these than to do it through giving. When you give someone a smile, doesn’t it make you feel good inside too? When you have listened and gave someone some encouraging words, how does that make you feel? What about when you give to an organization you love? That will bring you joy and inner peace, knowing you made a difference.
Let us remember the words of Anne Frank. We will never become poor by giving. I can promise you the more you focus on giving to others, the richer your life becomes. One important caveat to that – do not forget to give to yourself. In a season where many people are focused on what they can give to others, do not forget to give yourself some gifts. The gift of time with yourself. The gift of compassion and forgiveness. In what ways to you plan to give to others? How about giving to yourself?
This is an important and much needed reminder. There are so many of us that work so hard to make the world a better place and bring joy to others. Those same people are often the hardest on themselves. Check your inner conversation. Is it motivating? Recently, I noticed that my inner conversation started to lean a little more to the negative than I would care for. I mentioned to Margie, “I need to work on being more positive.” She gave me a look that showed her shock with my statement. I should have been a little more specific. My outer conversation was still very positive. However, my inner conversation was not. Allow me to give you an example. Winter is always difficult for me. The cold, the lack of life, it all has me feeling down. I decided to add a way to help with this. I decided to appreciate the effort and beauty behind the decorations people put up for the holidays.
On the outside I did pretty good. Whether I was with others, or by myself. I would remark, “Wow! That one looks nice.” or “That must have taken a long time.” I did feel better. That was until my inner voice started talking. I am not sure who that person is, but he didn’t have many nice things to say. I heard the voice in my head say, “That one is sloppy.” and “Why did they even bother to put up decorations if they were not going to take their time?” Here I was trying to find beauty and the holiday spirit and my inner dialogue turned into a holiday decoration critic. Then, I started getting down on myself for being negative.
We must remember that we are human. We must be forgiving and compassionate with ourselves. Especially during this busy season. As a solution to combat my newly negative self-talk, I have begun to listen to positive affirmations on the way to work in the morning. It places positive thoughts in my head before my head can come up with negative ones. Remember to be kind to ourselves the rest of the week. In what ways are you kind to yourself?
Here is an interesting fact about the blog you are now reading. It is followed in about 200 countries. This always excites me. The thought that I can bring joy, motivation and inspiration to someone in a country that I may have never even heard of is a gift that I never tire of. When a new country is added to this extensive list, as is the case with South Sudan in the list above, it gives me great pleasure. It also allows me to research and learn about the country and its people so that I may better serve them with my words and ideas. There are a few countries that I have yet to reach. Greenland and some countries in west Africa such as Mauritania, Western Sahara and Niger. This keeps me motivated. Not only is there more people I can inspire and share ideas with in the world, but even in my own country of the United States, in my own state of Wisconsin and my own city of West Allis.
In this photo, everything in pink and red are countries in which we have viewers of this blog. As you can see, we are close to reaching everyone. This can only be achieved with your help. If you would like to see a more positive and inspired world, here is what you can do to help. Share this blog. Tell all of your friends, family and other people you think could benefit from what we share here. Tell them about secret2anamazinglife.com. Share the blog on all of your social media posts. Mostly, no matter what city, state, province or country you find yourself in, please engage and become a part of this blog. Comment your ideas. Share encouragement. It would be great to hear from everyone around the world. Whether that is Fiji, UAE or right down the street. The more opinions we have, the more people we reach, we can all do our part to change and transform the world into a more positive and loving place for all of us to enjoy.
For my valued friends who regularly comment, like and share this blog. I want to personally thank you from the bottom of my heart. The research, pondering and writing of these posts are done with the intent to make the world a happier and healthier world one soul at a time. I would love to meet all of you and learn where you are from and what you enjoy about what we share here. Let us make 2023 the best year yet!
At this time of year, many of us can find ourselves running around and trying our best to find the perfect gift. Maybe as parents, or even as a spouse, we are trying to figure out how to save enough for the perfect gift. We work overtime. We cut back as much as we can on our expenses. Quite often we are also worried about planning the perfect get together. Stressed about cooking and shopping for that. Couple this with there often being an extreme of weather this time of year. (Hot in the southern hemisphere and cold in the north) and there is so much stress it can leave us, as the picture said, broke, overwhelmed and tired.
This year, let us do it differently. Instead of stressing if the house looks perfect and dinner is done just right, to everyone’s liking, let us just enjoy the company. Instead of saving for the perfect gift, let us focus on the perfect heart-felt gift. Instead of running ourselves ragged, let us plan a day with friends practicing some self-care. That can be a weekend retreat, a group meditation, a paint and sip or just getting together for coffee or a movie. When it comes down to it, do we really remember the toy we got when we were 6? It is far more likely, and more valuable, to give the gifts of memories. If the pandemic taught us anything, it was the gift and value of human companionship. Not only having some, but having quality time together. That is also a skill that is developed.
Looking back at this post, I noticed the words ‘gift’ and ‘value’ several times. It is important to remember what is truly valuable and that is what makes a great gift. Another quick reminder….do not forget to give a gift to one of the most important people in your life…YOU. That is the gift of a stress-free or low stress holiday season.
I am currently reading a book by Pam Grout. In it, she says, “If the thoughts in my head were on a loudspeaker, I would have been committed a long time ago.” This is a statement that holds true for most of us I would think. Can you imagine if everything you thought was broadcast for the world to hear? I also saw an interview between Larry King and a Swami. In it, Larry asks him how it is so quiet in his head. The Swami tells Mr. King that is the natural state of the mind and the rest is just our thoughts about the world. If you think about it, our mind provides a color commentary about the world around us. You can stare at the cars at an intersection and think to yourself, “What a lot of pollution is being put into the atmosphere!” You could also note what a great color that SUV is. Both are true, but would give you a different experience at the intersection.
This is not only true at a red light, it is true every second of every day. Whether you are making observations about the people you work with or the value of the coffee you just purchased from the local coffee shop. Your mind is going every moment you are awake. It reminded me of what you see when watching a sporting event. You have that ‘play by play’ person who gives you a running monologue of what is transpiring between the two teams. This is like the thoughts in your mind. Then you have the ‘color commentator’ who delves a little deeper into certain aspects of what is transpiring. That is like our conscious mind, picking up on whatever thought that mind is spewing. Most of us need to fire the ‘play by play’ person in our head and find a new one. One that describes the world in a more positive light.
Here is something to think about. Think of your best friend. Chances are they have some differences from you. Can you imagine how different your perception of the world would be if you closed your eyes and just experienced the world through the play by play in the head of your best friend? Would theirobservations be exactly the same as yours? I think we can all agree the answer would be ‘no’. Even if we experience the same situations. This is really how our thoughts create our world. It can be hard to grasp the esoteric aspect of the Law of Attraction, when they say your thoughts create your reality. It is far easier to grasp this concept. Let us go back to our example at the intersection. If our play by play of the world around us was telling us about the pollution and how every second those cars were idling, this amount of poisonous gas was being released into the planet, that could be a rather depressing experience. If our thoughts were that way on a consistent basis, the world may seem a dark and bitter place.
This quote from Albert Einstein (a pretty bright fellow at that) was given when someone asked him what the most important question we can ask is. This quote brings to mind the opposite side of the color commentary question. Back to our friend at the intersection. This time he is noticing what beautiful color some of the cars in line are. Perhaps he notices some of the nice landscaping around the buildings are. Before long, he is feeling pretty good. Same situation, entirely different experience. This is not to say that our friend who appreciates a good paint job or a nicely planted bush does not realize that cars emit exhaust, it is just that is not what he chooses to focus on. He has decided we live in a friendly universe as Mr. Einstein would say. In this way, our thoughts go a long way to create our reality.
Today, spend some time listening to the running commentary in your head. How much of it is positive and how much is negative? While deciding to appreciate holiday decorations more this year, I endeavored to do so as I drove along. While pointing our fun looking penguins and reindeer to Margie, a little voice in the back of my head said, “Yes, but some of them look so sloppy.” Here I was trying to focus on something more positive, and that voice in my head was refusing to let go of the negative. Have a meeting with your color commentator in your head. If they are not willing to be more positive, fire them!
Have you ever been frustrated because the point you are trying to communicate is misinterpreted? Have you ever felt as though your partner was not showing you any affection? Has your partner ever accused you of the same thing? Do you ever feel like you and your partner are just not on the same page? It might be as simple as the language you are speaking! I am not talking about the difference between French and Zulu. No, this is a far more subtle, but just as different dialect.
We discussed this difference in language on the latest episode of the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. If you would like to increase the quality of the communication between you and that special someone in your life, take a listen. If you want every conversation to feel more effective and effortless, take a listen. If you want to know just what to say or do to make your partner feel loved, take a listen. If you want to feel more love in your relationship and help your partner feel more as well, take a listen. While you do listen, feel free to subscribe. That way you will get these amazing tools and strategies right away and be able to improve the quality of your relationships, and your life, as soon as you are done listening to the episode. It is as simple as clicking on the link below, sitting back, relaxing and listening.
How do you create the relationship of your dreams? How do you know what exactly will make your partner happy? How can you avoid what will make your partner unhappy? Wouldn’t it be great to know what things you could do, say and gifts you could give that would mean the most to the one you love? How about knowing all of these things about any of your relationships? What if it was not only possible, but could be accomplished by using 2 simple steps? Sound too good to be true? It is not and it is easier than you think!
We recently revealed these 2 simple steps on an episode of the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. If you would like to reduce the stress and increase the joy in all of your relationships, especially the one with the special someone, you should listen. If you would love to know the perfect present to get and take the stress out of gift giving, you should take a listen. If you would like to deepen the quality and closeness of all of your relationships, especially the one with your partner, you should listen. It is as simple as clicking the link below and taking a listen. By the end of the episode, you will know the 2 simple steps you can take right now to accomplish all of that and more. Feel free to subscribe and you will be the first to learn these and other secrets to an amazing life!
Here is something that I am quite guilty of. It can be hard for a lot of people who are hard-driving folks. It was brought back to my attention while in conversation over a cup of coffee with my mother the other night. She inquired how things were going. I informed her this very blog you are now reading is now followed in over 200 countries. (Come on Greenland) and that made me very happy. I love connecting with and engaging with like-minded people throughout the world. Then I informed her I was a little frustrated that my podcast did not have a bigger reach. (feel free to listen and subscribe by clicking the link at the end of this post) She reminded me of two very important things. First, I just started it in July or August. Second, that it has already impacted several lives. It is not about the volume, but the quality of the impact that you bring to each individual.
With over 8 billion people now on the planet, I would like to reach, inspire and engage with as many as I can. Engagement is something that is always appreciated. Comments and hearing what people like, and do not like, about the things we share here only help us serve better. Margie is great for reminding me how many people come up to us and say, “I never comment, but I read your stuff all of the time.” Although frustrating, it is great to hear. Nothing makes me more motivated to write than knowing it is connecting with people and making a difference.
You do not have to be a writer for this to be true. When I helped at a local meal program, I did my best not only to serve up a hot plate of food for each guest, but a dose of respect, encouragement and inspiration. Rarely, did you get to see what a difference this made. It would have been far easier to just dish out the food and say nothing. One afternoon a gentleman came up to me and said, “This is the first time anyone has ever called me ‘sir’.” When you show kindness to anyone, but especially those who need it the most, it makes a big difference. As we approach the holiday season, this can be true with clerks in retail locations, servers in restaurants, package delivery people and many of the other workers that make the holiday season brighter for all of us.
We should not stop there. We should really show kindness to everyone we meet. We NEVER know all of the struggles people are facing. They may have lost their job, or are facing reduced hours and a struggle on how they are going to purchase gifts for those they love, or even keep the lights on. They may have lost a loved one, the pain of which is always amplified during the holidays. We may not see it, but who can put a price on the gift of a little kindness. Not only this holiday season, but all year long. Thank you for looking out for one another. Again, as my gift to you, I would love to invite you to subscribe to my podcast at the link below. We discuss a variety of topics and even break down sections of my book. Please click on the link below and give it a listen.
Today we celebrate 10 years of this blog! I began this journey in 2012 with just a desire to share with others the tools and strategies that helped me positively impact my life. I never dreamed it would turn into what it is today. There are many things that I have learned in the past decade of sharing ideas with you. First of all, I am still learning and sharing. Self-improvement is very much like physical fitness. You are never ‘there’. There is always maintaining and learning to do. You will mess up. You will have bad days. Life will throw a whole lot at you and you will need to develop new ways to handle new problems. It is the learning and growing that develops from that which is so rewarding.
I also learned how similar we are. When I started I had…well…zero followers. That was never the goal. Still, my desire to share with and help as many people as I can, allowed this blog to now be followed in over 200 countries and by over 50,000 people. I learned a fellow in Italy and I not only like the same music, but are both dedicated to improving ourselves and have had some of the same influences.
Another thing we are celebrating today is Thanksgiving. It is no coincidence that I started this blog on this day. One primary secret to an amazing life is Gratitude. In my own life, it has done the most to positively transform my life. As I reflect on the last 10 years of my life, one thing I am most grateful for is my lovely lady. Margie has been pushing me outside my comfort zone for as long as I can remember. One of the first examples was putting flyers up for my first book signing. We were in the village of Greendale where I worked for the Post Office. The book signing was to be held at a local coffee shop. I had 2 businesses in mind to put flyers at. One of them being the coffee shop. Margie looked at me and simply said, “No, we are going to ask to put them up at every business in the village!” I was tempted to tell her that I thought she was on the brink of insanity, but she was so cute and so insistent. What I thought was going to be a five minute ordeal inside my comfort zone, ended up being a half a day where she would say, “I’ll go in with you.” Then she would push me towards the counter and disappear and make me promote myself. It made the book signing the success it was. Not much has changed two books later.
There is so much in my life to be grateful for. Just today I was recalling how my grandmother used to make pans of barbeque chicken. The whole family would come over and eat all of the delicious food she would make. These days I am grateful for walks in nature and trips to the gym with my mom and wonderful meals created by my beautiful Margie, who is an amazing cook. I think my Grandmother would have really loved her. I know I do. Come to think of it, that is another secret to an amazing life. Find someone who will love you, but push you outside of your comfort zone and make you develop into the best version of yourself. It doesn’t hurt if they are lovely like my lady.
Today, there is lots for me to feel grateful for. The ability to share with you for 10 years. The ability to reach over 50,000 people in over 200 countries. The fact that my partner also happens to be the most beautiful lady in the world and I get to see her on the pillow next to me every night! That fact that we have wonderful memories to reflect on and the possibility to create even more! Today, I would be so grateful if you would share this website with at least one other soul you think could benefit from learning secrets to an amazing life. Together we can reach many more souls. Maybe in the Congo? Maybe in Greenland? Maybe in the town next to yours. We are all one global family of 8 billion.
Anyone who knows me even a little, and most of you who read this, are aware that I do not like winter, the cold or anything associated with it. In my neck of the woods, everything looks dead and brown. As winter progresses, the snow turns grey and black with pollution and dirt. This means, everywhere you drive, you see dead brown trees. Dirty snow with brown grass underneath. These are not the most inspiring sights.
Any indication these things are on the way tends to dim my enthusiasm. So, when on November 1st, I see people putting up Christmas decorations I mumble to myself as I am driving by. That is until I read this picture above. It made me think how much putting up decorations may improve the mood of those doing it. In addition, their efforts bring light and a sense of joy to the afore-mentioned dark and gloomy atmosphere. I always saw winter decorations as a sort of harbinger of doom. I know, not very cheery for a motivational author. Living with Seasonal Affective Disorder in a state with 9 months of winter will do that to you. Now, however, I see them in an entirely different light. Pun intended. These decorations, while alerting me to the frosty temps and snow about to come, add a splash of color and cheer to a bleak environment. Some of them are even rather humorous.
I once heard Tony Robbins list in his grateful journal going to the movies. Some people grumble at the price of a ticket, which could be understandable. He told us to focus on something else. There were people who spent days, months and often years, not to mention millions (sometimes hundreds of millions) of dollars to create 2 hours worth of entertainment for you. Actors studied and practiced their lines. They spent countless hours on set, in make up chairs and more. Directors searched and tried countless camera angles and dialogue. Make up artists worked to get looks just right. Set designers. People in the computer graphics department. Writers and story board creators. Audio people. Lawyers. There are so many people involved it is crazy. Sit through the credits once and look at the people involved. Those are just the ones listed. There are countless others whose names did not make it on the big screen. The janitors who cleaned up after. The security who guarded the set. All of this so we could laugh, cry, scream or be held in suspense for a few hours. I had my own television show for a while. Trust me when I tell you, there is so much more that goes into creating content than you can imagine.
The one thing that changed my whole experience with both of these situations, and thus my level of joy and happiness, was a change in perception. When it comes to living an amazing life, is not joy and happiness what matters? Wayne Dyer once said, “When we change the way we look at things; the things we look at change.” I think this is true in both of these occasions. Next time you see a feature film, or your neighbors Holiday decorations, send them a thought of gratitude for their efforts to bring you joy. They are making our world a better and brighter place.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 