Tag: Happiness

KEEP THE LITTLE THINGS CLOSE

This is my current setup as I am writing this post for you today. Coffee, a little snack, my trusty but slow computer. You may notice a little note on the keyboard. That is a little note that Margie gave me some time ago. It says “I Love you” with a smiling sun. I keep it in my computer at all times. At this stage in the game, it is several years old. Still, every time I open my keyboard it brings a smile to my face.

That is what I want to talk to you about today. Not that note specifically, but what it represents. To me, this note not only tells me that Margie was loving me at the moment she wrote it, but that she was thinking of me and took time to create a little something that made me smile. In addition, she knows how much I love the sun so she put that on there. It also reminds me when I write that I have a beautiful woman behind me who believes in me no matter what. That often gives me the push I need. All of that from a little piece of paper.

It also reminds me of times like this when Margie was there to write with me. This was even at a coffee shop that now is closed. Lately, we both have been so busy we have not seen a lot of each other. The time we have spent together we are both so tired we cannot fully appreciate each other. There is still that little piece of paper that keeps the smile on my face and has me looking forward to more times like the picture above.

Many times we may appreciate the little things in life in the moment. After a short time they are discarded or put away to rarely be thought of again. In doing so, we are missing a great opportunity to add some love, gratitude and appreciation to our lives. All of this does not have to cost a lot in time or effort. As you can see in my example, all it took was a quick note drawn on a piece of scrap paper. By placing this note in a place where I see it regularly, it is a reminder of those feelings and memories. How about in your life? Is there a small gift or item that can remind you of something, or someone special? Can you put it in a place where you will see it regularly? Maybe your purse, a jacket pocket or by the coffee maker? How could the reminders positively affect your life and your relationships? What is your item and what does it make you think of? I would love to know.

WHAT DOES YOUR HAPPINESS DEPEND ON?

It sure is great if your spouse is happy. If the boss is in a good mood that doesn’t hurt. If the weather is pleasant and traffic flows well that sure makes for a great day! When the people we encounter everywhere and the service we receive all come with a smile.

Let me ask you another question. What are the odds that all of those things will happen in the same day? How many days do you think they can all remain true? The odds do not seem stacked in our favor. If your happiness depends on all, or any, of these holding true, you are likely to find yourself a little short on happy days.

The ironic thing is people spend most of their energy trying to control, it worse complaining about, things beyond their control. What good does that do? It leaves us feeling both exhausted and frustrated. That also does not put a smile on our face.

Instead, we should focus on developing inner processes that bring us joy. Developing an attitude of gratitude would be a great start. Look around you for all of the things in your life that are going great. That does not mean being blind to the challenges. It means realizing even in the darkest of times we have plenty of things going right!

Ask yourself today, does your happiness depend on outside circumstances? If so, today would be a great day to take back control of your emotions. Let me know what makes a happy day for you!

A SNAKE CAN’T BITE IF…

Another piece of information that seems like a no-brainer. How easy does it get lost in the whirlwind of emotion? If there is a person that is always upsetting you and stressing you out, get far away from them. Some of you might be saying, “It is my boss, my mother or my friend. I can’t just walk away.” I am here to tell you that you can indeed walk away. If you are sacrificing your emotional well-being as to not offend them, you need to make yourself more of a priority.

We certainly cannot just up and quit our jobs or turn our back on family, can we? If it is causing you enough grief, then you must do what you need to do. At the very least, there are two action steps that will make this a lot easier on you and end up with a healthier state of mind. First, have the hard conversation. Tell them how you feel. This does not mean blaming or unloading on the person. That will only add to the stress. Explain your desire to maintain whatever level of relationship you desire, but that you have boundaries and what stresses you out. Be willing to listen to their side of the story. At the same time, have an action plan in case the conversation does not yield the desired results. Begin looking for that new job, or be emotionally preparing yourself to live life without that person.

On occasion, after your absence, the person may realize how important your mental health is and may have a greater desire to return to your life without stressing you out. Sometimes they will not. Sometimes they may even tell others what a terrible person you are for having boundaries and standing up for them. They, of course, will not word it that way. Usually in a way that paints you in a negative light. Be ready for that. It is often an unfair price to pay, but one well worth the stress you will be losing. Do not give people the opportunity to hurt or stress you out. A snake cannot bite you if you do not go near it. Keep that image in your mind as you go through this process. You may find it helpful. Also remember you deserve a peaceful life. Give it to yourself.

MAKE IT A HABIT

When you converse with others, how does the conversation usually go? Do you recite complaints of the day? Do you discuss others and their behavior? Maybe world news and all of the crazy politics of the day? How about the mistakes your sports team made?

If you are anything like most people, that is the majority of your conversation. Have you ever paid attention to your daily verbal output? Most of us don’t we just start talking.

Starting today, why not make an effort to inject some positive and inspiring words into the mix? It is so rare,people may even look at you funny. What they will also do is want to be around you. People like hearing good news. It might be awkward at first, but once they get used to it, they will want to hear more.

Let us talk about how it affects you, the speaker. In order to both start and maintain a conversation, we have to think about the topics which we are discussing. Despite how some people may seem, it is impossible to speak without thinking about it first. If you’re speech is mostly negative, guess what your thoughts will be? If it is positive, guess what your thoughts will be? Your thoughts dictate your feelings. Would you rather feel positive or negative? Watch what you think and say. Talk about something inspiring for a change!

THE REAL POWER OF A MAN

This picture and quote is obviously meant for a romantic relationship. It also could work both ways, for a man or a woman. A true measure of success is the joy your life brings to those around you and the world at large. In my humble opinion, this also holds true of the planet as well. An animal you helped may not be able to smile, but knowing that you could positively affect the life of another living creature means that you are a success. Picking up litter and helping the planet, also a success.

In a world where we all too often measure success in material means, we may forget what true success looks like. It looks like the smile on the person next to you. What good would it do if your business is booming, you drive the latest car and live in the biggest house if your family is suffering? What good does it do you to be a public success and a private failure? That is why we see so many celebrities that we feel have it all going in and out of rehab or worse. They may have bought the big house, but they never took care of what was in that house.

The same can be said of judging success by looks. Yes, it is important to be healthy. What good would an amazing body and dazzling looks do if you have a heart full of anger and jealousy? Again, you took care of the body, but forgot about what is inside the body. By developing inner peace and compassion, you will treat others with the same. That will make people smile for sure. In a world that is filled with chaos and people looking for their 15 minutes of fame, true success would be putting smiles on the faces of others.

BE THIS KIND OF PERSON

There is so much good stuff to unpack in this quote. It is true that the world seems bent on gaining your 15 minutes of fame. Often, just for the ability to be famous. Many do not apply that fame to anything worthwhile. The truth, as revealed in this quote, is that you do not have to be famous. You do not have to even be seen, popular or well-known. One of the most powerful things you can do to stand out is to be kind. Be the kind of person who makes people smile.

When I mention this to others, they often reply with a little bit of sarcasm. “How Mr. Rogers of you.” I hear. One lady even looked at me and replied in a bit of a condescending manner, “Nobody smiles anymore.” Despite her tone, she wasn’t wrong. This is exactly why we need to do it more often. The examples of making cashiers smile, waiters laugh and lonely people feel seen, that is world-changing stuff. So many people do the opposite. That is why kindness not only makes you rare, it makes you extraordinary! Kindness is even more valuable and treasured due to the fact it is so rare.

If you feel the need to stand out, do so by being kind. There is very little competition and the payoff is creating a world that is a brighter place for us all. The world needs more of that. The world needs more of your kindness.

BE THIS KIND OF SOUL

I think it would be fair to say that we would all like a world that is more loving and peaceful. If you are an individual that does not, you would probably not be reading something like this. It can be difficult to find the best way to accomplish that. Is there a political solution? Is there a spiritual solution? Is there some esoteric knowledge that we are missing? The solution can seem almost as complicated as the problem itself. Not to mention the problems are different for everyone. With that in mind, how can we create a solution that works for everyone? This was one of the questions that drove me when I was writing my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People.

The solution can be a surprisingly simple one. The photo above says it all. Make everybody feel like a somebody. We do this for several reasons. First, it is how we should treat each other. In a land of division, sometimes that humanity can get lost. Second, when people feel valued, they tend to be able to accomplish more. We all want our friends and family to live productive and rewarding lives. The third reason is a powerful one. There is the ripple effect. When we show someone their value, they tend to do the same to others. If someone is treated with dignity, respect and compassion they will be more likely to treat others in the same fashion. This will, in turn, have those people treating others kinder. This will continue to spread. It will all be thanks to one action you and I can both do. That is to show someone their value.

Every person on this planet has a tremendous amount of value. You, me and everyone we encounter. We all have natural skills and talents. Whether that is selling real estate or encouraging others. Each one of us brings something to the table. When we are reminded of that, miracles happen. Hearts open and people connect. As this sort of this spreads the world begins to change. It all starts with that simple action we can take today. Be the soul that makes everybody feel like somebody. It can save a life. It can change the world. All it takes is some love and compassion.

REMINDER FOR STRESSFUL DAYS.

Stressful days, we all have them. It can feel like we are caught up in a whirlwind of anxiety and chaos. It could be Monday, the start of a work week. It can be the end of the month when all the bills are due. When we are stuck in this whirlwind it can be easy to forget some of the things that can help with the stress and chaos. My fourth book will help you to create your own personalized map to get out of stressed. Until that comes out, here are some universal tips to remember. Nothing complicated.

When life goes crazy, just remember to breath deep, eat a balanced meal, give yourself some grace, move your body, get some sleep and reach out if you need. The last one is key. We all feel so good when we are able to help our friends, but often deny them that same great feeling. Having a friend by your side in times of struggle will only strengthen your gratitude and appreciation for that friendship. It will also strengthen the relationship itself. So ask for help if you need. Maybe even print out this picture to have these reminders on hand.

ARE YOU WHEREVER OR WHENEVER?

This is a rather amusing quote from Oscar Wilde. In its amusement, however, there begs a very important question. Are we someone who adds to other’s lives or are we a drain? It is true you can find something helpful about anyone, even if it is just a warning about how not to live. Sometimes the best teachers can be negative examples. Let us be honest, most people do not approach life this way. If we are being honest, I do not always remember to do so. We can often fall into the trap of focusing so hard on improving our life, that we fail to remember to be a blessing in other people’s lives.

One of the best ways to do this is to bring happiness wherever you go. The easiest way is by using of natural talents to bring love and light to everyone we encounter. This can be by being a good listener. It can be offering an encouraging word, or even just a smile. It can also be done by subtraction. Do not be the one who brings complaints. Do not be the first one to parrot negative news or the latest political talking points. Stay away from gossip. Instead pay genuine compliments or share what you are grateful for that day.

Not only will more people want to be around you. Not only will you bring happiness wherever you go. The best part? You will be more happy too! By bringing joy and happiness to all those you encounter, you are constantly surrounded by smiling faces! Who would not want that? It will sure make life a lot more pleasant. Be someone who brings happiness wherever you go and not whenever you go.

HAPPINESS IS FOUND IN 3 THINGS

Happiness is quite the topic lately. Billions of dollars spent by people trying to obtain it. Thousands of books written every year telling us how to find it. I even wrote one. (A Happy Life for Busy People) Most people would like you to believe that happiness is a subject far too complicated to be understood by the average person. They point to all of the successful people who have not figured it out yet. Movie stars that suffer from depression. Rock stars that turn to drugs or alcohol to cope with the inability to find it. Examples are everywhere.

I believe that the complication is part of the problem. Looking at the photo above, 3 simple things can help us increase the amount of happiness in our life. Let us tackle them one at a time. Letting go of what was. In self-improvement circles they say if you are depressed, you are living in the past. Stressing over what is done and can’t be changed is a foolish endeavor. You can mine the lesson out of the experience. You can occasionally use the pain of the reminder to motivate you to be better in the present, but beyond that, let it go. Much like driving, we glance in the rearview mirror, but look through the windshield. It is good to glance back at your past and see if anything is sneaking up to affect your present, but go back to looking out the windshield. Just like staring in the rearview mirror while driving will cause you to crash, living in the past will cause your present life to come crashing down around you.

The second enjoying what is, should be a no-brainer. Why would you not do your best to enjoy your current life? Many delay their happiness until some future event. That is also a foolish course of action. I have been listening to a lot of Inky Johnson. If you do not know who he is, I highly recommend a quick Google search and listen. When people tell him, “I will do it tomorrow.” Which I imagine includes feeling grateful and enjoying what you do have in life. He answers them with the question, “Who promised you that?” Meaning that tomorrow is not a given. There are so many of us who went to bed with plans for tomorrow who never woke up. That is a sad reality. Also a sad reality is people who never stop to feel grateful for all that they have and all that is right in their life. Yes, we all face challenges. Yes, some are worse than others. All of us, however, have many things to be grateful for if only we stopped to focus on them.

Lastly is having faith in what will be. How many times have you laid in bed full of worry for what tomorrow will bring? You would be better served being as prepared as you can be and getting the proper amount of rest. There is a saying that the best assurance for a good future is to create it today. The future and the past are two things that exist only in our minds. One has been over and done with. The other has not even happened yet. The only way to affect either is to do something in the present. You want to improve the past? Use it to learn from. You want to have a good future? Do something to improve your life today. The present is the only time we can act in. The future is not only up to us, but as we discussed earlier, it is not guaranteed.

Work on these three things daily. Letting go of the past. Enjoying the present. Having faith in the future. If you do this with any amount of effort and consistency, the level of happiness in your life is sure to increase.