It is an interesting fact is that we all are made up of the same elements. 65% of which is oxygen, followed shortly behind with carbon at 18.5%. This alone should deter some of the racists and bigots, but I will leave that for a different day. What I want to talk about is the carbon. roughly 20% of all of us are made up of carbon which is pretty much what charcoal is made of. Before you start feeling like a worthless piece of coal, let’s look at what happens when that coal is put under heat and pressure. It transforms into a diamond!
Next time you feel like the heat is on in your life, or you feel the pressure starting to get to you, think of this piece of coal. Say to yourself, or out loud if you are daring, “Looks like my carbon is being turned into a diamond!” The longer we go through life, the more pressure and heat we will go through. If done right, we can transform into a diamond. If we are treated poorly, it can strengthen our resolve to treat others with compassion and kindness. When we are ignored, it can remind us to include others.
There is a cliche that the challenges of life should make us better and not bitter. The point of that is that we have a choice. Let us decide better. Let us decide to become a diamond. Remember to say to yourself, “This challenge is turning my carbon into a diamond.”
Last post we spoke of what to do when feeling overwhelmed by the seemingly hopeless oppression of the masses by a few wealthy politicians. The answer was to remember you, as a small axe, can still fall the big tree of corruption. I failed to mention that this does not only go for politics. No, any large challenge in life that you face can be approached with the same mentality. One of the greatest challenges to adopting this mindset is the constant focus on the world outside of us. How can we change the hearts and minds of our leaders to care about the people without money lining their pockets? How can we only elect people who have the skills to lead us to a world of kindness and compassion?
The short, and somewhat uninspiring answer, is that we cannot. We do not have control over others, nor outside events. When we spend all of our energy focused on changing the current of the river, we get swept away in its current. That is not to say that we should shrug our shoulders and wait for life to take care of itself. What we should do is to focus on where our power really lies – in our own mind. Wish your spouse was more romantic? You can spend hours, days and years telling them that. Unless that partner is willing to change, it will not happen. It would be best to take matters into our own hand and use the power of our own mind. This could involve seeing the different ways in which our partner expresses romance that we may not see. It could be working on creating an atmosphere where being more romantic is both desired and rewarded.
We have power over our minds, not outside events. When we focus our energy on this, we realize that we can use the power of our minds to affect the outside events around us. We also come to the realization, if we haven’t already, that trying to control others and the world around us leads to frustration and resentment. Even if we manage to obtain the control in the short-term, it is fleeting and impossible to hold onto. Our real strength is in our ability to change our perception and meaning towards life. To change our approach. To understand our role in the situations that frustrate us, and if they are beyond repair, to have the moral strength to leave those situations. Use your power and focus your energy on where it will best serve you and the process of change.
Inner peace. That is a goal I think all of us can get behind. Again, we tend to make this far more complicated and expensive than it needs to be. It would not hurt us to pick up and read a few books on the subject. All we really need to do is focus on the ten items listed above. Let us pick out just a few to see how they can positively affect our busy lives in this crazy world.
‘Respond, don’t react’ is a good place to start. With the ability to let the world know our thoughts at the push of a button, we can do a lot of damage before we even have all of the information. Even more importantly, we can do a lot of damage to ourselves. When we know we acted from emotion instead of our best nature, we lower our estimation of ourselves. Learn to pause and ask yourself empowering questions to go from reacting to responding. This will not only bring you more peace in the moment, it will give you more peace when you lay your head down that night.
‘Let go of what you cannot control’ is another one far too many people struggle with. Being filled with anger over what some politician did or worse said? Why? Sure it may affect our lives, but is it in our control to change? Telling everyone how terrible it is and walking around angry or depressed does not change the politician or what they said or did. Take actions that will help such as voting. Then work on creating change in your corner of the world. Sick of politicians that are speaking hate and division? Rather than letting it upset you, double your efforts on making others feel loved and accepted. It will not only make life more enjoyable, it will bring you greater peace.
‘Choose silence often’ is very important in a world where it seems there are things vying for our attention every minute of the day. When was the last time you just sat alone with your thoughts? With the advent of cell phones, even a few minutes alone in the restroom isn’t safe. Try turning your phone off and going for a walk in nature. Better yet, find a nice place in nature to sit in silence. You will then combine two of these tips at once. Double the peace.
‘Practice Gratitude’ is of course my favorite step to take towards inner peace. There is no more powerful emotion to develop that will change your life faster than gratitude. That should make you want to adopt this as soon as you can. Gratitude will not only increase your peace, it will increase your joy! It will turn your life into one that is magical. It may sound hard to believe for some of you unfamiliar with the attitude of gratitude. Let me assure you that this is not hype. When you learn to be grateful for everything in your life, the peaks and the valleys, life becomes a dream. We hear people say they are “Living the dream” all of the time. It is even the title of my second book! When you learn to be grateful, you will be truly living the dream.
Those are just a few of the steps listed here. Which one is your favorite? Is there another tool or strategy that you use to bring peace to your own life? I would love to hear about it!
Happiness is a multi-billion dollar business these days. Everyone is buying books, attending seminars and going on vacation looking to find that moment of bliss we all seek. The ironic thing about all this is that the solution, and the bliss, is a lot closer and a lot cheaper than we make it. When people look at the quote above, they mistakenly think developing a mindset like this will stifle the motivation to pursue a better life. That is not the case at all. When we appreciate what we have as we are pursuing something better, it fills our life with more joy and makes us more resilient to the challenges along the way.
Sadly, the way that most people learn to adopt this attitude is when what they have is taken away. If you are unhappy that you cannot get around as well as you used to, what happens when the ability to get around is taken away from you all together? Suddenly, you would love to have that ability back. You could be working on improving your ability to get around through exercise and stretching while reminding yourself “At least I have the ability to work on this.” Think of people who complain about going to work. On occasion I can be one of those people. One of the best ways to fall in love with your job is to face the prospect of losing it. If you lose it all together, you would be overjoyed to have to go to work again.
I do not wish that you would have to face anything being taken from your life. Although, if it does indeed make us more grateful it can be considered a blessing. To adopt this miracle mindset before that happens, use that magic and powerful word -gratitude. There are times I listen to people get truly irate over trivial things. You are consumed in anger because your neighbor’s dog uses your lawn like a public restroom. Sure, your neighbor should be more considerate, but to lose yourself in anger over it only serves to ruin your life not theirs. You think your life is tough and people treat you unfairly? Try going for a walk through a children’s cancer ward. These kids are barely starting life and are facing the prospect of it ending all too soon. Not to mention the ridiculous financial burden their families will be saddled with on top of their emotional burden. Then, tell me again how your neighbor’s dog is ruining your life.
You may think this as an extreme example, but the point is the life we live is the dream of far more than we can imagine. You have the ability to read this right now. That means you have access to the internet, not to mention the ability to read. Those two items alone would allow you to accomplish more than someone could have done in decades only a few years ago. Are you aware there are roughly 800 million people in the world who cannot read and write? Think of how much that will limit their opportunities and future?
Realizing how wonderful we truly have it will not cause us to sink into a world of lazy contentment. On the contrary. I find that when people adopt a grateful attitude and realize how many gifts they have in their life, they are more eager to develop and share them. How about you? Has this article inspired you to take a hard look at all you should be appreciating in your life? I hope it has.
This world is pretty crazy right now. What can we do to bring a little more sense and a lot more peace to it? Adopt this as our mission. That is to be a light in an often dark world. If you make your mission to lift others up and to give them hope and belief in themselves, you will have not only made their world a better place, you will have made the world a better place.
Think of how much better we could all be if someone helped remind us how worthy we are. If someone showed us our magic again. We all have it. Inside each and every one of us lies the ability to change the world for everyone we come in contact with. If that isn’t a superpower, I do not know what is. We should adopt this as our mission in life.When we do, we will not only see our world change for the better, but we will begin to see the world around us improve as well.
I cannot say this enough, so apparently I will say it again today. If you are really searching for the secret to an amazing life, and if you are reading this site I can only assume you are, start with changing your focus to gratitude. Why do we focus on this one emotion so much here? Gratitude is so powerful that if you truly put it to use in your life, it will turn the life you have into the life you love. It will feel like magic. Why? Because life really is magical. We have just become blind to it. It is like walking over a diamond in the sidewalk on the way to work everyday. Actually, it is better than that. Having an attitude of gratitude is more valuable than a diamond.
Have you ever noticed how your thoughts affect your mood? Your mood, after all, is your life. If you are angry and pissed off, your world will be angry and pissed off. If you are someone who is always looking for the beauty in what is around them, you will be someone who always sees the world as beautiful, even in the darkest of times. If you want to live a life that is amazing, you must start to look for and focus on what is amazing. To help this, try speaking about what is amazing. Speak of your blessings. Les Brown once said, “Nobody wants to hear your problems. 80% don’t care and 20% are glad it is you.” That is not to say don’t reach out if you need help, just that you focus on your blessings.
In life we all have struggles. We also all have blessings. Look around you. There is so much beauty and joy to be discovered it is inconceivable. Look at the face of someone you love. Think of how much they love you despite all of your quirks and flaws. Think of the beauty and kindness of all the souls you cross paths with. Every person blesses the world in ways we may never understand. Begin by sharing one thing you are grateful for every day with others. See how much this transforms your life. Imagine how you make others feel when you enter a room with the phrase, “Do you know what I am so grateful for today?” It may encourage others to acknowledge all of the blessings in their life as well.
We touched on this last post. We need to slow down on occasion. Spending time in nature has so many benefits that we have devoted entire posts to it in the past. Laughter is truly the best medicine. Without the best medicine, there is no way your life can be healthy. One thing that wasn’t listed in the photo above that I believe is important is connection. In all of our lives we need to experience, and feel, a sense of connection. With friends, with nature and with ourselves. This can be a spiritual practice, a meditative practice or making it a point to be present with a night out with friends.
A fun little art project that can die this all together is to come up with a ‘Slow down book’. Just my idea of a title, use whatever speaks to you. This can be something as simple as a notebook, or as fancy as you want to be. In this book, record moments where you do slow down and feel connection and inner peace. You can do this by jotting down a memory of the moment, placing photos you have taken of the event or maybe a menu if it is a place to eat. The possibilities are endless. Customize it as you see fit.
Why is creating a ‘memory book’ so important? Can’t we just remember these moments in our head? Sure, but having a tactile reminder can be such a heart-warming experience. It can supply us with extra feelings of gratitude when viewed after the fact. After a stressful day when we are doing our best to think of a way to unwind, we can review the book and see events that have brought us joy in the past. You would be surprised how difficult thinking can be when you are already stressed out.
I would love to hear about some activities that bring you peace and joy. What do you think about the idea of creating a book like this?
We talk a lot on this site about working hard and putting in the effort. Making sure that we keep our goal clearly in mind and always in front of us. That really is part of the secret to an amazing life. I say ‘part’ because achieving goals and improving ourself is merely one side of the coin.
If we accomplished all we set out to do and reached the end of our life drained, lonely and unhappy we could not consider that a successful life. In order to be truly successful, we must also be fulfilled. We must balance enjoying life with conquering life. Find ways to enjoy the process as well as taking clearly defined breaks from the process.
In addition to all of the effort we put forth make sure we practice self-care and be present for all of the special moments we share with those we love.
As much as I would like this post to be about 3 steps to finding yourself on a tropical beach somewhere, that is not what we are discussing today. This is something even better! What could be better than being on a tropical beach? Can you believe that I even said there is something better? What is better is living a life that you do not need a vacation from. That has been so much in self-improvement circles that it almost sounds cliche. Living this kind of life is not as difficult as one may think. The principles we are going to discuss can be applied on a beach in Jamaica, or while working in a state that seems to have 9 months of winter…hypothetically.
Paradise, like this dinner on the beach in the Bahamas Margie and I shared, can be reached inside one’s soul. The first of the three steps listed above in a good thought. I cannot mention how much this can change your situation. Just this morning I was working on a very physically demanding task at my day job. Struggling to get through it, I thought of the beautiful lady above and how I was earning money to be able to do things to bring a smile to her face. Would you believe that gave me not only the boost of energy to continue, but made the task an almost pleasant means to an end.
The second step to paradise, going by the quote we started with, is a good word. This is certainly something the world needs. There is quite a bit of negative, angry and depressing words around. Sharing a good word with others can not only change their world, but yours as well. That word could be encouragement, a genuine compliment or just sharing of good news. In doing this, you create a more pleasant environment for all of those around you, and in turn, they tend to be in a better mood. When you are surrounded by people in a good mood, that makes your life a lot sweeter.
The last step to paradise is a good deed. Like making delicious tacos for the man who loves you so much. Margie made me these tacos the other night after a hard days work. I cannot begin to explain the joy, gratitude and love for her this kind deed invoked. When you do a kind deed for others, again it is a win/win situation. You make them not only happy, but grateful that you are in their life. How do you think that will affect your future interactions with them? You also get a feeling of contentment knowing that you have brought joy or assistance to someone else’s life.
Using the principles discussed in the quote above, people who think good thoughts, speak good words and do good deeds will have a life that feels like paradise. That is why people who may appear to have it all, but do not practice these three things, will not have a fulfilling life. If you are thinking about revenge, speaking with a lot of sarcasm, and worried only about yourself, your life will never feel like paradise. Does your life feel like you need a vacation? It happens to all of us. Just do more of the three things above and soon your life will begin to feel better than ever.
Far be it from me to advise you what to do while you are in the shower. That seems a little invasive from someone you may have never met on the other side of the screen. This meditation might be another secret we could all add to help us reach that amazing life. Developing rituals that lead us in the direction we wish our life to go will be something discussed in depth in my next book. Until that is released, allow me to share this idea with you.
Showering is something we all hopefully do on a regular basis. Why not turn this experience into one that refreshes our soul and spirit? Picturing, and feeling, all of this happen can really give us a change in attitude. I often say when stuck around people who have a ‘sunshine challenged’ attitude that I need to take a shower. This is metaphorical, but I guess does not have to be. Showers are cleansing physically, why not mentally and spiritually as well?
Take the time you spend in the shower to mentally disconnect for a while. It is warm, you are by yourself, you can’t really hear much. If you have a shower speaker, maybe some meditative music would be nice. Picture all of the negativity of the day being washed off you and going down the drain. Feel your energy being renewed. It may be that little bit of peace you need in the middle of a chaotic day,
There are many other cleansing rituals that people do that can work as well. In Native culture there is smoke from smudge or sage that is used to cleanse spiritually. That are people who go to special mineral baths to bath in. Showers are nice because most of us use them on a regular basis. It might be fun to employ this same thinking next time you are caught in the rain as well. The waters could be washing all of the negative energy in your life away. By the time you arrive home, your clothes may be heavier, but your spirit will be lighter.
