Tag: Happiness

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 20 – WHO IS IT?

This is one of the big ones. Who are you grateful for in your life? In any gratitude practice I think this one is included. I am sure at some point in time we have thought about how grateful we are for certain people in our life. Here are two challenging ideas I hope you take action on. First, spend a focused few minutes and think of who you are grateful for. Write their names down. Next, ask yourself how you could express this feeling of gratitude? You could tell them in person, a phone call, an email or the good old greeting card. You could even post on their social media.

Great friends are certainly people to be grateful for. Above is a picture of people who used to come to a bar I worked at. Many are still good friends. I am grateful to have met them all. That is the fun thing about meeting people. Each person, in some way or another, brings something to your life to be grateful for. Even some of the worst people can leave you grateful for the example of what you do not want in your life and grateful for all of those who are not like them. Most people, however, give you something positive to be grateful for. It could be humor, being a great listener or a million other traits.

Family is another group of people to be grateful for. Above is a picture of my mother and I braving what turned out to be a terrible flood. We also had been enjoying the Wisconsin State Fair. Walking through the fair with my mother is one of my favorite things that I look forward to all year. We go on discovery walks and try many new foods and just have a lot of fun. Could not be more grateful for that if I tried.

To of course having someone that loves you even on your bad days. This woman has changed my life more than any other person I know. A year and a half from now I guess she will also be family! Having that rock of love is one of the most powerful things that you can have in your life. Sharing adventures as well as the daily grind together. It makes the sorrows less and multiplies the joy.

As you can see, there are so many people to be grateful for in your life. Really, each person offers you that little bit to be grateful for. We touched on it in the friendship paragraph, but you can think of anyone and everyone and gratitude could be given. The great employee who served you an iced coffee so you would have energy to write. (Thank you Anthony) The lady who checked you out at the market. The employee at the power company you may never meet, but who worked in dangerous conditions to keep your power on and the milk from spoiling. Speaking of milk, how about being grateful for the dairy farmer? How about being grateful for the cow?

There are an endless list of people you can be grateful for. I have shared just a few of mine and gave you some thoughts on more. How about you? Who are you grateful for in your life?

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 14 – SIGHT

Today’s gratitude post was one that made me stop and think. It is a powerful one at that. We have many sights that we view daily. How often do we stop and appreciate them? There are certainly ones that we lament about. Take my current example. I am sitting in a Starbucks right next to my day job writing this blog. Outside it is snowing like crazy. It is  a little more than a week away from the first day of spring and we should be having temperatures more closer to that season. The trees still look dead and it is rather gloomy. Those things stand out to me. Can you guess how focusing on them has me feeling? I can tell you that it is less than inspiring.

When I first read that today we would be talking about what sights we were grateful for, I must confess to having a hard time with this. That will tell you what a great opportunity this is. Apparently, I do not spend enough time focusing on all of the good things that I lay my eyes on in a day. Take the picture above. It is my current situation. I have a laptop to write on, access to the internet to publish it so I can chat with all of the wonderful members of this community around the globe. Not to mention the delicious hot cup of coffee just waiting for me to take a sip! There are a few sights that many of us take for granted that instead we should be using as a moment of gratitude every day! Let us take a look at a few of those.

The sight I am always most grateful for is this beautiful lady right here. My love, Margie. Not only is she lovely, she loves me! Her smile, especially if I have anything to do with it, is the most beautiful sight to me. It means that I am living up to my standard of being a good man and taking care of my lady. How about the sight of your front door? When you come home do you think about everything that is wrong with your house or are you grateful that you have a roof over your head? The amount of homeless people is not only heartbreaking, but is growing. In an age where the cost of living keeps increasing, having a place to come home to is definitely something to be grateful for. How about the dinner or breakfast you are about to eat? How many people go hungry? Sure it might not be the dish that you want, but you can afford something. These things you might be grateful for but how often do you express that gratitude? Even just to yourself? We are all guilty of taking it a little bit for granted.

When we stop to express gratitude for things like a loving spouse, a place to come home to and food to keep us going we feel more abundant and full of good fortune. It is my belief that something more happens. I believe that being grateful for that spouse will help increase the love between you two. I believe that being grateful to have a place to come home to will make it feel more peaceful, even if it is a little chaotic. I believe having gratitude for whatever meal you are about to eat will make it taste just that little bit better. Do not take my word for it. Try expressing, and feeling, gratitude for these things in your own life. Before you walk in the door at the end of a hard day, say, “I sure am grateful to have someplace to come home to.” When you see your spouse say to yourself, or to them, “I am really grateful for you even if we occasionally drive each other crazy.” Pause before that first bite and express gratitude for being able to enjoy a meal when many do not have that pleasure. Try doing this for a week and see how it feels.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 10 – TASTE

Can you believe that we are one-third of the way through our 30 days? Hard to believe. I hope you are beginning to see just how many things you have to be grateful for in your life. We are just warming up. This has been just as enlightening to me. There are so many things that I had not stopped to think about in a long time. Areas of our life that we take for granted. Today is no different. What taste are you grateful for? We did do one on food so I will not dwell too much on that.

When people think of taste, almost always it goes to food. That makes sense, because after the age of about 2 or so, we mostly put food in our mouth. Taking this into account, there are more tastes to be grateful for. This is what makes these month so exciting. We are asked to think about different things. When was the last time you thought about your sense of taste and what you had to be grateful for? I am going to share a few of mine, but I would love to hear yours as well.

The post does ask us what taste we are grateful for today. That will help keep things a little simpler. I will start from my morning. Perhaps one of the things I am most grateful for, not only in taste but in life, is the taste of my lady’s lips on mine as I am leaving for work. Why? It not only is a reminder of the love we share, but what I have to look forward to come home to. On the way to work, there is the taste of my coffee I brewed that morning. So much to be grateful for there. The amazing machine that does all the work for me. The energy that it will help give me at 4am. Even the fun variety of the different coffees I have. One thing that is overlooked by the majority of people is the taste of clean water. A large portion of the planet does not have access to clean water. It is something we take for granted but without it, a lot could go wrong.

There are more abstract tastes as well. The taste of success when you get a little win in the day. As an author, these can often be what keeps you going. The taste of compassion when you seek to understand instead of respond. Yes, I realize they might not fit the specific definition of ‘taste’ but they are certainly something to be grateful for. How about you? What tastes bring gratitude to mind for you? Please let us know in the comments below.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 6 – NATURE

If we had a guest author for the blog today, it should be my mother. In an effort to keep this streak going, you are stuck with me, however. Both my mother and I love walking in nature. Mine is more reserved for when the temperature is higher than my age. Even if you live in a city where nature is scarce, you can escape to a park or even a tree-lined street. Nature can be found in some of the most interesting places. This was brought to my attention while reading a book by Tom Brown Jr. Whether you are in a national forest, or the park down the street, what in nature are you grateful for?

Living in more of a city environment, I am always excited to see some of nature’s bigger offerings. They tend to be a little more rare and thus, a little more exciting to see. Above you can see a picture I took of Margie taking a picture of a deer that strolled alongside our car. The other day, on my way to the gym, a coyote crossed in front of me. Animals that are not very common are ones that I am most grateful for. When my mother and I walk through the park, we are always on the lookout for new birds and other animals we do not normally see. This can be fun and make the walk that much more exciting.

It does not always have to be a large animal. The first flowers of spring are something that I am always grateful to see in nature. It gives me hope that warmer weather is on the way and I can look forward to longer days and more sunshine. We discussed how much I enjoy waking to the sound of birds chirping in the morning. Crickets chirping at night while I sit on the porch with Margie and a cup of coffee is rather relaxing. Do any of these resonate with you or are there other things in nature that you are grateful for? Is it the warmth of the sunshine or the refreshing rain? Nature offers us so much to be grateful for, I would love to hear what you think in the comments.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 3 – COLORS!

Day 3 of our gratitude celebration. We have had some fun so far. If you would like to go back and read the first 2 days, you are certainly welcome to do so. If you would rather just start from today, that is cool too. Gratitude is great whenever you put it into your life. The object of this 30 day dive into the world of gratitude is to get you to think of, and notice for the first time perhaps, things in your life that you have to be grateful for. After 30 days, you will find yourself developing a new mindset of gratitude. The effect this will have in your life is nothing short of magic. Do not take my word for it. That is what these 30 days are all about. Putting this to the test.

Today’s question is what color are we grateful for. Color plays such an important role in our life. We naturally gravitate towards some colors and there are others that do not enthuse us at all. Personally, I am not a fan of beige, taupe or anything in that color scheme. It tends to bore me and have me feeling bland and unexcited. There are other people who love it. The only time this becomes much of a problem is when those two people live under the same roof!

As far as what colors I am grateful for, I would pick a combo that is my favorite. I love turquoise and yellow together. It makes me think of all things tropical. Those two colors can have me thinking of vacation even in the dead of winter. Lucky for me, my lovely lady does not object to these colors, or that combination. We had a great experience in the Bahamas. Their flag incorporates these colors. Upon reflection, it occurred to me that these were also the colors of my elementary school. Not sure if that has some sort of subconscious influence on the matter.

How about you? Are there colors that make you happy when you see them? Are there colors you tend to avoid? Are they different for clothes verses cars? Have your choices changed throughout the years? I can’t wait to hear what everyone has to say!

IT CAN BE GOOD TO HAVE YOUR FLIGHT GROUNDED.

That is a picture of me. It is probably what I looked like when I was informed that the vacation I had planned for my lovely lady’s birthday would be canceled. Six months I had managed to keep it a secret. There were days of work I scheduled off. We were mere weeks from takeoff and our Jamaican vacation was canceled. It was a tragic once in a lifetime hurricane that devastated the island. Regretfully, our hotel was unable to open at the time they had anticipated. Obviously, our dismay was nothing compared to what the people were dealing with, and are still dealing with, on the island. Still, we were quite dismayed not to be able to escape the brutal Wisconsin winter, if only for a few days.

Looking at the temperature in my hometown above (in Fahrenheit) one can see it would be wonderful to get away. One of those situations where you might ask, “Where is the upside in all of this?” First of all, the reason our trip was canceled is a great reminder of what we have to be thankful for. Yes, it is beyond cold and snowy here, but we have power and our houses have not been blown away from a 200 mph hurricane. The fact the hotel could not open reminds us of how months later the island continues to struggle. On top of that, on the day we were supposed to be leaving Margie came down with an illness. She had it for quite some time. It would have been the whole time we were scheduled to be on vacation. Just a few days ago, I also came down with something. If there is anything worse than your vacation being canceled, it is going and being sick the entire time. The trip being called off saved us from that happening.

It can be hard to see that what appears to be something negative in life is actually setting you up for something better. Have you ever had a major setback while pursuing a goal? My guess is that if you are reading a website like this, you have. It gives you a chance to refocus and gain additional skills that will make the goal even more rewarding when you do reach there. The additional time you have to wait will make achieving the goal that much sweeter. Sure, nobody likes to think this way when it is happening to them, but that does not change it from being true. If you do manage to change your mindset from “Why me?” to one of, “What positive thing can I gain from this setback?” Life is not only a lot less stressful, but becomes something to always look forward to.

As a side note, the delay in taking a trip with my love has allowed us to save more and hopefully spend a few more days on our getaway. Something we could not have done without the delay. It also allows me a little more time to work on my beach body which has been missing in action for quite some time. There are always silver linings to the dark clouds of life. We may just have to look a little harder for them.

LOVE LIFE AGAIN… ACCORDING TO ANTHONY

In preparation for my upcoming fourth book, I have been asking many people what they would recommend to others who have fallen out of love with their life. It happens. We are children full of excitement for the simplest of things, approaching each day full of passion. Next thing we know, we are on the ‘wake up, pay bills and repeat’ cycle. Daily life can feel like a job that we just have to make it through. That is no way to live! How do we fall back in love with life? It is doing many of the things we have forgotten or let slip through our fingers while we focused on our careers and making sure everyone else was taken care of.

For today’s post I want to reference an answer I received from congenial young man who works where I am writing this very post. His name is Anthony. I posed the question of what he would recommend if someone were to seek his counsel as to how they might get the passion for their life back. After a few days of contemplation, he came up with an answer that I think is nothing short of brilliant – travel! This is also a cure for a good many of our other ailments. Prejudice, racism, entitlement and disconnect can also be cured by getting out and discovering new cultures and new friends. Above is a picture of my lovely lady and I in Jamaica. We are with our friend that we made there, Stephanie. She was one of our tour guides and explained a lot of what the island was experiencing at the time. It is my hope to reconnect with her and see what has changed since they experienced that terrible hurricane.  

Perhaps an escape to the islands is not in your budget right now? That is ok. There are ways that you can travel the globe without leaving your hometown. One of the best ways I have found is to explore authentic culinary experiences. Above are some examples of dishes Margie and I tried at an East Indian restaurant a little drive from where we live. It was about a half an hour drive, but it was so worth it. Not only was the food authentic, our server was a student here from India. He explained his hometown, made some recommendations and even told us about his schooling.

Of course it is not as good as actually traveling to a country, but it helps you get the flavor of things. The same can be said for ethnic fairs, markets, shops and any other thing you can think of. Finding a culture and exploring it more deeply can certainly bring the passion back into your life. We will expand on what else I have learned by doing this in just a second. Before that, I would like to share one more example of traveling without leaving your hometown. Part of my nationality is Armenian. I grew up not knowing much about the country, its people or their customs. Margie and I started going to an Armenian Festival a few years back. I was introduced to the pastor of the church who came from Armenia. We met for coffee and he explained many things to me I did not know. At the festival itself, there was Armenian music, food, ancient artifacts and other cultural items. Every year I learn more things and meet more people.

Here is what all of this traveling both abroad and in my own hometown has taught me. First, all people generally share the same challenges. There may be slight differences in how they are represented in their lives, but they are basically the same. Speaking of the same, most people around the world are loving wonderful people who have the same needs and desires. Everyone likes to feel significant, like they matter. It does not matter if you are in Jamaica or Greenland. There is also a longing for both connection and community. People like to feel connected and included. They like to feel they make a contribution to the world by being who they are. When you travel, you discover that everyone does. Knowing that we are all really one big family despite what certain politicians, news sources and others may try to convince you of, it helps you feel more connected and passionate about life. Thank you Anthony for this great answer! I urge all of you to travel today. Even if you have to do it in your own hometown.

CAN MONEY BUY HAPPINESS?

You hear a lot of people say “Money cannot buy happiness.” While that is true to a point, there is something to be said for money as a tool to happiness. Hoarding money and the love of money for the sake of money can very well lead to unhappiness. Having financial security and even some to give and contribute to causes we believe in is a kind of happiness that can also give us some inner peace. So while money itself cannot buy you happiness, it can be used as a tool to add joy to your life and the lives of those you care about. You cannot go to a store, or any guru you may follow, with a large amount of money and say, “I would like to buy some happiness.” The way you choose to spend your money, however, can determine whether you are buying happiness or just things.

Take a look at what we spend money on. Will it bring us joy? For how long? A new car certainly can bring us a good amount of joy. It can make getting places a lot more stress free. It can have wonderful features for keeping us warm or cool, depending on our needs. If we feel the gratitude for that vehicle, it will bring us even more joy. Even a brand new car is a depreciating asset. Sooner or later, a new car becomes an old car. Then it may even take joy from us. The same can be said about most material things in life.

One of the more powerful things to spend money on that will lead to happiness is creating memories with those you love. Above is a collection of pictures that Margie and I took while on vacations. Although they are a good deal of money, of which I was grateful to afford, the memories bring us joy to this very day. It doesn’t have to be as grand as a tropical vacation. There are trips to the local State Fair with my mother that I recall. Once we just had iced coffee and sat in the sun enjoying a band. It was a great time and one that brings joy to this day. Whether it involves travel or just an experience, creating memories is a way that money can buy happiness. Yes, you can create memories without spending money, but today we are discussing ways in which you can use cash to create happiness.

Even more powerful at bringing joy into your life than a tropical vacation (wait did I just say that?) is the act of giving. I’m not advocating that you give away all of your money and live on the street, unless that is your jam, but hear me out. How can giving your hard earned money away make you happy? Seems a little counter intuitive. That is until you try it. From the simple giving a large tip to a server who deserves it or may be struggling, to the more elaborate sponsoring a wing at a children’s hospital, giving provides one of the largest sources of joy. When you give to a cause and see the good they do first hand, that brings you joy. As an author, I often like to give my books away to people who can use them. Yes, it costs money, but knowing I could have a positive impact in their life brings more joy than the profit I would make selling the book. Buying a friend a cup of coffee and letting them know you appreciate them will bring joy to your heart. One of my favorite examples is truly listening to someone and giving them a gift you know would make their heart soar. The money spent on the gift is nothing compared to the joy you receive by seeing their happiness.

Can you get happiness without money? Of course you can. Some of the best things money cannot buy. Still, money allows us to bring happiness into our lives if we use it as the tool it was meant to be. Ask yourself how can you use the money in your life, be it little or much, to bring a little more joy into your life and the lives of those you care about? I would love to hear some of your ideas!

YOU HAVE TO REMIND YOURSELF.

This is a very important point to ponder.  It can be so easy to ride the waves of negative emotions, but that just leads to am ocean of despair and depression. That is not to say you should not validate your emotions. Like the quote above says, “feel your feelings” To that i would add to look for the lessons and what you can learn from them. Then, take a walk outside. You will be greeted with all kinds of beautiful reminders.

A change in mindset is required. The payoff is even with all of the challenges, you will see, and more importantly feel, life is a miracle instead of a job. Walking in nature helps this. You see the beauty in the trees, the birds and other animals we share this planet with. I love seeing elderly couples out waking together. It not only gives you hope of lasting love, but let’s you know it is never too late to fall in love.

Miracles surround us everyday. Granted it can be hard to see them when we find ourselves down and out emotionally. That is when it is the most important to do. One way to accomplish this is to find as many things to be grateful for as you walk. It could be the fact that you can walk. Maybe not as well as you used to, but you still can. How about the fact we now have sidewalks and stop lights? Quite different in the 1800’s. Most parks have rest rooms available. If not, there are usually businesses in near proximity.

The world is full of miracles. Use the power of gratitude to unlock them. When you are feeling down, or even if you are not, take time to walk about, look up and notice them all.

THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE

Thank you for taking the time to join us here at Secret2anamazinglife.com today. I appreciate the time you take to read the words I have to share with you and hope you leave here a little more inspired than when you arrived. Today I will be celebrating my mother’s birthday and this is a thought I think she would not only agree with, but personifies a great deal.

In today’s world everyone seems to be craving a special identity. The term ‘influencer’ barely existed 10 years ago. It would seem that people will do anything for their 15 minutes of fame. Here is the ironic thing, we do not need to have our faces, or any other body part, all over the internet to be famous. We all have an identity. This is true whether we realize it or not. Today I am going to share with you what that identity consists of and how to improve it. What you choose to do with this knowledge is up to you.

What you give is who you are. Have you ever thought about this before? Over two decades in the field of self-improvement and I have never quite heard it worded that way. The more I think about it, the more true it rings. We spend a great deal of time on trying to accumulate things in today’s world. The new car, the cool clothes and of course our little corner of the internet. All of this in an attempt to develop an identity. How many of us realize it is who we are in that car, what we do in those clothes and what we have to offer in our corner of the internet that make us who we are.

Think of something as simple as being kind to others. When we give kindness that is who we become – a kind person. We must be careful as the opposite is equally true. If we are someone who only gives the world complaints and negativity, that is who we become. It is not what we take or what we accumulate that defines who we are as much as what we give and leave behind. Once again I would like to reference my favorite quote by Denzel Washington, “You never see a U-Haul behind a hearse.” In other words, it is not what we accumulate that will define our legacy, but what we leave behind. That can be the time and effort we have given to those less fortunate. It can be the kind word or smile we share we a stranger who may be struggling. It is what we give that will forever define who we are. If you want to be someone special, learn to give.

I mentioned at the beginning of this post that is was my mother’s birthday today. She is a perfect example of giving as a legacy. She retired 9 years ago now. Since then she has worked even harder I think. She has taken care of many family members experiencing health challenges of different degrees. She volunteers at the zoo in our city. It happens to be one of our favorite places to go. She also is part of the local woman’s club, and helps supply the food pantry at her church. In other words, fills her time with giving. Speaking of the food pantry, a woman appreciated her donations, and her, so much she sent her a birthday card. My mother appreciated the card so much she gave the lady a hug and told her so. This, undoubtedly, made the lady feel good. It would probably motivate her to be kind to others or to my mother again. Do we show appreciation just to continue this cycle? Of course not. This is an example, however, of how continuous giving can create a world filled with love and appreciation. What a great legacy to leave behind! Happy birthday mom! Thank you for all of your giving.