How true this photo is. I’ve been guilty of this myself more than I care to admit. Especially this time of year. The holidays are over, it is cold and dreary out and I’m just wishing for sun, warmth and fun. Still, there is plenty of joy to miss if you are just wishing and waiting.
There are moments my mom and I get together at a warm coffee shop for some great conversation. Of course there is more snuggling with the love of my life. There is a lot to be grateful for. The struggles of life make the rewards that much sweeter. Imagine if your whole life was just sitting on the beach enjoying the sound of the waves. Go ahead, Imagine it. I do several times a day. After a while you might take that for granted. One day of going to work with a windchill of -12° and you will be right back appreciatingit.
For this very reason, we soups also appreciate the things we are trying to ‘make it through’ to get to the good stuff. They are what make the good stuff… well… good. We spend 80% of our lives on the journey and 20% at the destination. Why throw away 80% to get to the 20%? Especially when it is the journey thatmakes the destination so exciting to get to.
Starting now, keep looking forward to 5pm, look forward to the weekend and whatever else you are working towards. At the same time, be grateful for the journey that makes it worth while. Don’t forget to notice all the joy contained in that as well. Hopefully, I’ll see you on the beach soon!
Today is the day of the week when we have something to uplift each other. We are going to switch it up slightly. I am going to share the main thing that uplifts me on the site. That thing is engaging with all of you. Seeing the over 200 countries that have viewed this site, and hearing how and what people think has really filled my heart with gratitude. I always do my best to respond to each comment anyone leaves. In a busy world it takes time and energy to sit down and share your thoughts. That fact that these posts are not only read, but someone cared enough to share their thoughts is the greatest gift.
A special ‘Thank you’ to all of you who take the time out of your busy lives to read what we share here. It is my sincerest hope that I am of service to you in some way. Special gratitude for those of you who engage with us. I enjoy meeting as many virtual friends as I can. Whether you are down the block or across the globe, I consider you a friend and a fellow adventurer on the path to an amazing life. I wish all of our readers a healthy and happy holiday season and a peaceful and prosperous New Year.
A few posts back we talked about how your mindset can turn a hell into a heaven and the other way around. It would seem that life sought to provide me a personal example. My 2024 Toyota Rav 4already has a bad sensor that needed to be replaced. They informed me when I made the appointment it would take roughly 30 minutes and I could wait. So, after my 10 hour work day I made my way to the dealer. Upon arrival, Iwas told it would now be a 2 hour affair as they had to check other parts as well.
A few things come to mind here. Of course after a 10 hour workday I could easily be irritated about having to wait 4 times as long as I was told. I could have brought a book or some other form of entertainment. I could have arranged a ride to go home and come back when it was done. All of this would be legitimate to think and feel. It would also lead to anunhappy and stressful evening.
Instead, I am going to look at and use this time constructively. I shall avail myself to the available coffee and snacks. I will use my cell phone to write this very blog you are reading now. Most importantly, I shall focus on the fact that I am so grateful to have the vehicleI do.
Both of these sets of facts are true. They both also come with an entirely different set of feelings. Would it be better if I had my laptop? Sure. It is far easier to write on that. Am I grateful that I can still write on my phone? Absolutely!
Life is full of choices. One of the most important is what we choose to focus on. As you can see, the difference can be between feeling stressed and feeling grateful. That may not seem like a big deal in the course of an evening. If you put enough of those evenings together, it is the difference between a negative and stressful life, or one where you choose to focus on gratitude and opportunities.
When I grabbed this quote, I liked many things about it. It is very close to what we discussed a few posts ago how your mind and body do not have to be in the same place at the same time. Before we get into the actual quote, I have to share something about it. What made me laugh after further inspection was where this quote came from. When I was a senior in high school, I did not do well at English class. As mentioned in my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, my teacher even told me, “I pray to God you will never have a career in writing.” At the time it was a fair assessment. Three books and over twenty five hundred blog posts later, maybe not so much. One of the reasons the teacher thought this way is my lack of appreciation of classic literature. When I read something, I like to be able to enjoy it and not search for what it is supposed to mean. Give me the story straight I say. The story that stands out the most in this regard? You guessed it, Paradise Lost. The very story today’s quote comes from.
Now that we have had some humorous back story, let us look at the quote itself. The very first part I find intriguing. “The mind is its own place…” How many of us stop and think of the mind that way? Many things only exist in the mind. Fear is a great example. It is created by, and exists solely in the mind. Many of the stresses in our lives reside between our own two ears. The mind has its own dialogue. As Mr. Milton goes on to explain, “…and in itself, can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” What this means to me is that the mind we bring to a situation goes a long way to determine the quality of the situation.
This is the reason that you can see two people in exactly the same situation, but one is happy and one is miserable. One place I see this a lot is at the gym. Some people working out there look miserable. Some are lifting weights with smiles on their faces. If you stopped and focused on everything you have to do to get to the gym and get a workout, coupled with how sore you might feel after, it would be a pretty miserable experience. You also wouldn’t show up that often, or for that long. If you were to change that focus and realize that every rep of weights and every step of cardio are getting you that much closer to being the healthy person you are working to become, you would be motivated to keep pushing on.
This holds true in any situation in life. At a funeral for example. We can think about the regret of moments lost or never pursued. It will expand the pain and make the feelings of hurt and loss that much greater. We could also focus on the fond memories we have with the dearly departed and ponder ways in which we will honor their memory. This may very well help ease the pain and may even see a smile cross our face as we think about a silly or happy memory.
Switching focus is a great way to control what kind of place the mind is, a heaven or a hell. When I find myself in particularly trying situations, I ask how I can use that to serve others. This obviously does not change my circumstances, but it certainly changes the person I bring to them. Finding ways to bring happiness and gratitude to any situation can turn a hell into a heaven. I would love to hear your secrets for making your mind a positive place to be.
A simple choice to smile when you wake up may not seem like much. Done repetitively, it can become a lifestyle! What do you do first thing when you wake up? Go to the bathroom? Pour a cup of coffee? Many of us reach for our phones. That is about the worst thing you can do! Exposing yourself to outside influences before you have had an opportunity to determine and set your own mood is simply dangerous.
When you smile, and i would add feeling one thing you’re grateful for, YOU set the tone for your day. A simple affirmationsuch as, “No matter what happens today, I will make the best of it and keep smiling.” May sound silly at first. Done for a month and it becomes who you are.
Don’t you deserve to determine your attitude towards your own life? I believe you do. The question is, do you?
We started this blog on Thanksgiving in 2012. Every Thanksgiving we celebrate being able to bring inspirational and empowering thoughts and information to you. Of course the focus today is on gratitude. We are followed in over 200 countries, so what we can be thankful for can vary.
There are some universal things that we may not stop to appreciate that at truly amazing. Take your body. It turns food into energy and materials that help the body grow and repair itself. Speaking of repair, think of what it does when you get a cut. Before long, it is completely gone, or in some cases you are left with a scar. Can you imagine if the body did not repair itself and you were left wearing all of the injuries inflicted onyou?
We can expand to think of how nerves work to help us experience the world of touch, taste smell and hearing. Think of all the cells in our bodies and how they work together. Our immune system is a miracle in itself.
Today, when we count our blessings, do not forget to include all the Miracles existing in your own body. There is always something to be thankful for.
Look at this list of amazing things that gratitude can do! It may be hard to believe, in fact you shouldn’t. Don’t take my word for it. Don’t take the word of whoever made this picture. When I was still in the early phases of my self-improvement journey, someone told me this very thing. I decided to try it for 30 days to prove them wrong. You can hear the whole story in my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People.
That is exactly what I am recommending here today. Honestly do your best to be grateful as often as you can for 30 days straight. If you stumble and have a negative day, just dust yourself off and try to go for 30 days after that. I guarantee it will transform your life for the better. With Thanksgiving being tomorrow, what a perfect day to start!
If you need help on how to start an attitude of gratitude, either search ‘gratitude’ on this blog, or even Google how to become grateful. So many people from Oprah to the Dalai Lamaknow the power of gratitude, so there is plenty of information online!
I would love to hear your results of this experience, or any experience you have with the power of gratitude. Let’s share and inspire each other!
I heard something the other day that will be in my upcoming fourth book. I wanted to give you an abridged version here today. When it comes to improving our own lives, we have spoke volumes about adopting an attitude of gratitude. This is for good reason. You hear it so much it almost sounds cliche. The reason you hear it so much is because it works. We recently even discovered a new and almost effortless way to do this. That was creating an album of pictures (either a photo album or in your phone) that reminds you of what you are grateful for. Then, all you have to do is scroll through the pictures and you start to feel grateful.
This is technically not a post about gratitude. No, it is about gratitude’s twin sister. What are we talking about here? Let me explain. Gratitude works wonders on our relationship with ourselves, but what about our relationships with others? Wouldn’t it be great if there was a magic wand for improving them? There is and it is easy to use and will work on any relationship. Looking to deepen your love with your spouse? This will work. Looking to be on your cranky boss’s good side? It works for that too. How about conveying positive feelings to a friend? This is perfect for that! The more you get in the habit of using this skill, the more polished you will become at it and the more powerful it will work.
The secret power we are discussing, and gratitude’s twin sister, is appreciation. When you appreciate someone, you are telling them why you are grateful for them. This is not to be confused with flattery. That is false praise, usually delivered in hopes of gaining favor. You might think people can’t tell the difference. They can and nobody likes flattery. Appreciation is a genuine expression of gratitude for another person. Letting someone know you are grateful for them and exactly why is so powerful it can deepen the strongest love and soften the hardest heart.
Delivering appreciation is an art form. It takes a certain finesse. Using the right tone and body language. Maintaining eye contact without being creepy about it. This will all come with practice. Do not worry about being perfect. Appreciation is so rare today it is always treasured. Just be genuine and the results will be amazing. We are all out here trying our best and working hard. For someone to notice and let us know means the world.
When you start using genuine appreciation, I can promise you that every relationship in your life will improve. Who would not want that in life? When you think how interconnected we are in life, it is important to let others know how much they mean and how grateful we are for them. Start expressing appreciation today. Make it genuine. Make it sincere and it will change you life.
Last post we discussed the single best self-improvement activity you can do. If you haven’t read that post, I recommend giving it a look. In my own life, gratitude has been one of, if not the, most powerful tools to help me live an amazing life. If you spend any time at all in the self-improvement arena, you have no doubt heard a lot about gratitude. It had a prominent role in the movie The Secret. For good reason. Gratitude can bring you peace. It can take you from feeling like you are constantly chasing the next thing, to feeling abundant and happy. That is without any change in outside circumstances. After developing an attitude of gratitude, even if things do go south, you will be able to weather them a lot better.
If gratitude is so powerful (it is) then why are we not all using it? If gratitude can transform our lives in so many positive ways (it can) how come everyone is not engaged in a ritual that will bring more gratitude into their lives. One of the reasons is the methods that have been suggested. They can seem labor intensive. Really, for the return they offer it is well worth it. Let us consider doing a gratitude journal. It is probably the most suggested activity. I even wrote a section about it in my second book, Living the Dream. You basically write 3 to 5 things you are grateful for every day and why you are grateful for them. This not only gives you the initial hit of dopamine, the feel good chemical in the brain, but rewires your brain. Knowing that you will be sitting down to write this list has your mind subconsciously on the lookout for things that you are grateful for to write down. This is a very good thing.
The problem with this method is that in a world where everyone is super busy and wants everything yesterday, taking 5 minutes to write in a journal or a notebook can seem impossible. This can seem like too much work even for people who spend hours scrolling through their phone. That brings very little, if any, positive things into their lives. This, however, is the secret to our new method. Sense we seem addicted to scrolling mindlessly, let us use it to our advantage! All you will need for this activity is a cell phone and an urge to feel more grateful.
Here is the secret method. In your gallery of pictures, create a separate album of pictures of things you are grateful for. This could be your spouse, your family, your dog, your car, a beautiful sunset or anything else that you are grateful for. Had a great vacation? Throw a picture of that in there. Love a particular restaurant? How about a picture of you there? Someone who just makes you smile by the thought of them? Maybe a picture of them or even both of you together? You could even have pictures of quotes that remind you to be grateful. The possibilities are endless. Then, in one of your scrolling sessions, open the album and look at the pictures. Much like the journal, done long enough it should train your brain to think of and look for things to be grateful for to add to this album. Even if you like other forms of gratitude, this would be a great one to add. I know I am going to start an album as soon as I finish writing this post. My first picture will be of Margie and I in Jamaica for the first time. I was able to make one of her dreams come true and I am grateful for that. Not to mention, I am grateful for her and the love we share.
I encourage you to create a grateful picture album on your phone today. The coffee shop I am writing this in is about to close which will force me to stop writing, go home and get some things done and start working on my gratitude album! What will be some of the pictures in your album? What are you grateful for? Please share your answers in the comments below.
I heard Myles Munroe say something the other day that really resonated with me. “Even if you win the rat race, you are still a rat.” How many of us spend our lives pushing for more? The ironic thing is that we are pushing for more of the wrong things. Are we looking for more time with those we love? No. Are we pushing for more health and vitality? Usually not. In modern society it is all about who has the most and who looks the best. Can you imagine what would happen if you had both of these? Really imagine it for a second. You are the wealthiest and best looking person on the planet. Now what?
You could buy a nice house and car. You could vacation and live wherever you like. Everything would be perfect right? Not so much. You would constantly be wondering if people really cared for you or was it just for you looks and money. You would doubt everyone’s love for you. In some cases, this would be a legitimate concern. You may fear losing your wealth and looks. “Is my hair thinning?” “Does the scale really say I gained that much weight?” “My investments lost how much?” You may even be concerned that someone may have become wealthier or better looking than you. Sounds shallow, but if that is your goal, it may also be your concern.
The secret to winning the rat race is to get out of it. I am not advocating quitting your job and wandering around aimlessly. Instead, focus on purpose and power in your life. When I talk about power, I do not mean in the corporate or material sense. Power over yourself. Power as in being a positive influence for good in the world. Create that kind of power. Speaking of good in the world, altruism is a great way to overcome the rat race. The helping of others can give us the purpose that can set us free.
There are two more things that can help you leave the rat race behind. We speak about them here ad nauseam, but that is because they are so powerful. The first one you probably guessed is gratitude. Instead of striving to obtain all of the things you do not have, try feeling thankful for all you do have. This simple shift will have a host of benefits. It will have you feeling abundance instead of lack. It will slow life down and bring you a great deal of joy. It will also lead you to a greater deal of inner peace. Which leads us to our next point. If you still feel the need to work towards something, make that something peace. Find what gives you inner peace and not what satisfies a desire.
In our point about winning the rat race, you can see it is really no win at all. It will leave you with a life of stress, doubt and chaos. This is not to say that you should not try to improve your life or your standing. Absolutely do that. Just do not do it at the detriment of what is truly important. You should enjoy your journey and it should not be a race. In the race to an amazing life, let us all cheer for each other to win. Let us all work together to help everyone find gratitude and inner peace.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 