This picture is great! Obviously a point about focus. You may be thinking, like I was, “Not me! I appreciate what Ihave!” Then I took another look at the picture and thought what I would do if someone handed me a cake with one slice missing. What would you do? Can you imagine going to the store buying a cake with one slice gone? What about a slice of cake? A lot less, but if someone handed you a slice of cake, you would not ask where the rest of the cake went.
People are a little like the cake. Most are not as sweet, but the theory is the same. If someone shared a lot with you, but kept one part of their life secret, we would feel like we were missing something. Like the cake with a slice missing. Yet, if someone were to share just a little with us, we would feel like they were giving us something a little special. Just like a slice of cake.
I live with the most beautiful baker, trust me when I tell you I know a thing or 2 about cake! Whether we are given a little, or a lot with just one thing missing we should appreciate what we have. Changing focus will take us from expectation to appreciation! Imagine how that could change your life!
I heard this strategy called “Strive Satisfied”. There are some really good things I liked about the premise behind it, but I think we could tweak it to have it work even better. The idea behind this strategy is to be satisfied with your life as it is, but striving to make it better. Again, I like the sound of that initially. The more I thought about it, the more of an issue that I had with the word ‘satisfied’. We all know there is great power to be had in the words we use. Subconsciously, the word ‘satisfied’ does not move one to action. It does quite the opposite. Satisfied, at least in my brain, is where you are contented to stop acting.
I would prefer to say “Strive Gratefully”. Being grateful for what you have as you are striving for ways to improve it makes a lot more sense to me. Grateful does not mean you are satisfied. When it comes to showing the woman I love how much she means to me and what an amazing person she is, I will never be satisfied. She continues to amaze me with her beauty in both appearance and action. If I was ‘satisfied’ with the way that I loved her, I am not sure the new version of her would receive the appreciation it so richly deserves.
Never being satisfied does not mean you will feel miserable. That is why I suggest to strive gratefully. I am beyond grateful for the love I share with my lady. The way we are improving our communication. The ways we can discover new things we enjoy, or might enjoy together. All I have to do is look at a picture of her and I feel grateful. One thing I never feel is satisfied. All I have to do is think back 2, 3, or 5 years ago. I was grateful for the love we shared then. It was wonderful. If I would have been satisfied, however, there would be so much growth and love I would have missed out on.
This not only holds true in romantic relationships. It is your health, your friendships, your sense of adventure and your career. Keep a grateful heart and always strive to get better. Between the two of those, your life will be guaranteed to improve in ways you cannot even imagine at this point.
This is a very good secret to an amazing life. That is to catch yourself thinking negatively and toss in some gratitude and appreciation. It will not only dramatically improve the quality of your emotional state, but will change the way you start to view and interact with the world. Does that sound a little bold or over the top? Ask yourself this question. Do you treat people differently when you are feeling angry verses grateful? How about sad verses filled with joy? Even if this difference in treatment is not conscious, if we are being honest, most of us must agree that we do treat people differently based on our emotional state. You have more patience and are more forgiving if you are in a better mood. You are better able to view the positive side of a situation.
Again, we see that gratitude is the antidote to negativity. That is why the more processes to foster gratitude you have in your life, the better. When we are in a negative state, or at the very least going down that path, it can be hard to come up with something we appreciate. That is why doing so ahead of time is so vital. How do we now when ‘ahead of time’ is? We don’t. Our brains can pop up with a negative thought without a warning. That is why we should always be on the lookout for what we can be grateful for. We can do this is so many ways. Find one that works for you. Next, make sure to record those thoughts.
You can start a gratitude journal where you write down daily what you are grateful for. You can have an album of pictures in your phone of people, places and things that you are grateful for. You could even record positive affirmations of what you appreciate on your phone. That way, when negativity shows up, you do not have to think, you have something ready. Here is another secret. This will seem difficult, if not impossible, at first. The more you do it, however, the easier it will become. Before long, you will not only catch your negative thoughts quicker, but they will seem to come less often and they will be outnumbered by grateful thoughts!
I have been waiting to have the time to sit down and write this post. Thank you for stopping in today at Secret2anamazinglife.com. Throughout our over 10 year run, the topic that comes up the most is gratitude. Some of you may even be rolling your eyes at the thought of yet another post about gratitude. The reason we post so much about this subject is that I firmly believe in order to change your life, you have to change your mindset. There is nothing that works with more speed and impact to change your mindset than gratitude.
In my 2 decades of work in the self-improvement field, I have shared this opinion to everyone who would listen. It is what changed my life for the better, and still does. If you use it, I promise it will do the same for you. What most people struggle with is believing that gratitude can do all of this, and how to use it in their own life. They think of people who are constantly preaching the gospel of gratitude as people who go through life ‘wearing rose-colored glasses’. That is not what true gratitude is about at all.
It is not believing that there is no weeds in the garden. Gratitude is realizing that in addition to the weeds, and sometimes in spite of them, wonderful plants and flowers bloom. It is also not just focusing on the plants and pretending there is no weeds. It is working on the weeds while caring for the plants. In case this metaphor is not perfectly clear, we will spell it out. The weeds are the challenges, or what is wrong in life. The plants and flowers represent what is right and good in our world. Just as a garden is rarely, if ever, free of weeds, our life is rarely if ever free of challenges. We must work on overcoming our challenges, while still being grateful for all that is good. You would not give up on a garden because there are a few weeds. You should not give up on life because there are challenges.
Developing an attitude of gratitude is one of the best things you can do for your life. It does not mean that you are denying or ignoring the challenges in life. You are making the bold stand that there is beauty in, and that life is worth while despite the challenges. It is often in the challenges that the true beauty and reasons to be grateful can be found.
It is often when we are down that we fail to appreciate, and sometimes even notice, the little gifts that life provides every day. This can be when we are hurting, when we are exhausted or in my case Monday mornings, when we are tired.
Most of you know already that going from being a DJ to my day job on Monday I get about 2 hours of sleep. It can be tough to look around and appreciate the Miracles of life when you are that tired. It is exactly that which will give us the energy and keep our vibration from slipping lower. Draining us physically, mentally and emotionally.
This past Monday serves as a good example. As I was driving to work, cursing the lack of sleep and energy I was feeling my favorite song came on the radio. Being it is not one of the 10 the are paid to play on repeat all day, in fact it is quite rare, made it stand out. I felt grateful.
It was also a wake up call to remind me to focus on what was working and good in my life instead of what was lacking. After over 20 years of working in self-improvement and with the law of attraction you would think I should know this. As stated earlier, being in a depleted state can make you forget what you know.
The great thing was after that initial noticing, I started to notice other things to appreciate. The great cup of coffee that not only tasted great but would help me wake up. The car that helped me get to work. Even the work I was going to as so many others are looking forwork. Make sure you are always on the lookout for the little Miracles life sends you.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers out there from us at Secret2anamazinglife.com. We begin, as it should be, with recognition to my mother. You can see both of us in the throw back photo above. Credit goes to her for raising yours truly. As a single parent that couldn’t have been easy. Having a child who would watch the news instead of Sesame Street also couldn’t have been easy. Despite all of this, I learned valuable lessons from my mother.
The skill of resilience. To keep on keeping on, as they say. To keep pushing when others may quit. To do so in a virtuous manner and not cut corners or cheat, even if you have an excuse to do so. The power of kindness and compassion towards others. I still recall all of the great memories we made serving at the local meal program. To turn towards your faith when times get rough. To have that belief that “everything will be OK” as she always says.
Then there is this cute mother, my Margie. She inspires me to be a better man, and loves me even when I fail to do so. She is not only an amazing mother in her own right, she also helped me overcome some of my own childish behavior.
She continues to demonstrate the love and concern she has for her children every day. She works hard to continue to grow and be a good example to them and makes me proud.
How lucky am I to have the influence and to share my life with 2 such amazing mothers? Remember to recognize all of the mothers you see today. The hard work and sacrifice of being a mother can only be paid with love and appreciation.
Such an important message. Mental health is something we all must talk about. It does not matter your political affiliation, your faith, your race or any other nonsense we let divide us. We all can suffer from different aspects of mental health. In reading the Blue Zone books, which are a study on the longest living people in the world and what they have in common, one of the main things was a circle of close friends. Being alone has more health issues associated to it than even smoking. According to their studies. The reason I bring this up is a way I feel we can all help. That is reaching out to those who seem to be lacking a strong social circle.
One of the greatest things you can do to be a great help to mental health is to be a good friend. In fact, that can be one of the best things you can to to help the world in general. Having a good friend to listen to you is one of the greatest blessings. The other side of the coin is that being that friend is also one of the greatest blessings. You want to be rare and significant these days? All you have to do is learn to listen. In a world where everyone is screaming to be heard, being a source that someone can vent to is priceless. Having good friends and being a good friend is some of the most important things we can do to help each other with our mental health.
How true is this statement? If our mental health is not in order, we are far less likely to take care of ourselves physically, financially or any other way. Here are a few other ways in which you can take care of your mental health and help others do the same. This is far from a complete list, so if you would love to share more ideas in the comments below I know all of us would be forever grateful! The more we work together on mental health, the better we will all be.
One of the best ways to help both gain clarity on our thoughts, recognize patterns, and reduce mental clutter and stress can be using a simple journal. Putting our thoughts on paper will help us clear a little space in our heads. It also forces us to sort them out and get a little more clarity on what exactly we are thinking. Even if it doesn’t make sense when we first write it. By reviewing our entries, we can begin to see patterns of thought and action we engage in. It can be self-sabotage, self-doubt, a lack of confidence, or many other defeating trains of thought. It does not have to be all doom and gloom! There is a lot to be learned from both sides of the coin. We can learn the thoughts we have that lead to good days. What we do and think after a victory in life. How we can live in a good emotional state.
That leads us to our next idea – a gratitude journal. None of us experience reality. We actually experience the reality we focus on. What is wrong is always available. So it what is right. Which do we tend to focus on more? By training ourselves (it feels like forcing ourselves at first) to record 3 things we are grateful for and why a day can radically transform our mental health. Done for a length of time, it also subconsciously programs our mind to look for what we have to be grateful in life knowing that we will have to write it down that evening.
I apologize for the length of today’s post and thank you for sticking with me. Mental health is just such an important topic here at Secret2anamazinglife.com. In a world that seems more dividing than ever, there are more opportunities than ever to help each other, and ourselves, in the mental health arena. This can often be more difficult for men as society has frowned upon men not only expressing their mental health but seeking help for it. Luckily that is changing. If we want to improve our mental health, one of the best things we can do is bring joy to others. It is my life mission to leave my world a little better than when I arrived. It is a goal that I can only measure by the day. Each day I strive to add joy and positivity to the lives of all of those I come in contact with. This has given me a life that has my heart bursting with joy and gratitude on most days. On the days my own mental health needs a little help, those relationships become reciprocal.
This month, take time to focus on mental health. If you are really struggling, please reach out to a friend or even a professional for health. You will not only be doing yourself a favor, but allowing them to live a life of service and purpose. That is a big gift. If you want to reach out to us here at Secret2anamazinglife.com with any mental health issue you would like us to take a deeper look at, please do so in the comments below. All of our readers, and their mental health are very important to us.
Here is something that can make a dramatic difference in your life. Waking up in a good mood. Have you ever given that much thought? Has it ever occurred to you that you have a choice as to what kind of mood you do wake up in? I wake up at 4am six days a week. Margie is always amazed that even on very little sleep I tend to wake up in a good mood. It wasn’t always this way and yes, there is a secret to it. Before I share what that secret is, ask yourself what waking up in a good mood could do for you? Waking up in a determined state instead of reacting to what the world throws at you. Deciding your own emotional state instead of leaving it up to the fate of others or outside circumstances.
This will allow you to do a great many things you would not be able to if you did not control your own emotional state. You will decrease your stress levels and the hormones related to it. This can minimize your risk for heart attacks and high blood pressure. That is pretty important. You will also be less reactive. When we are already stressed, even the smallest things can set us off. When we face a challenge beginning in a good emotional state, we are better equipped to make intelligent decisions. We will also be less likely to be left with consequences we will regret. Less stressed and generally more full of joy means our immune systems will be stronger. That means less colds and flu. To the very obvious, life is a lot more enjoyable.
By now you should be sold on the benefits of waking up in a good mood, but how do you do it? It is easier than you think and not complicated at all. It starts the night before. What you think of the last five minutes before sleep is what your subconscious mind will focus on while you are sleeping. If you go to sleep dreading the alarm the next morning, or fretting over all the problems you had that day, that focus will only cause those situations to grow. Give yourself a break and focus on what you have to be grateful for. It could be the fact you have a place to sleep. It could be the person next to you or the cat or dog at the end of the bed. Instead of dreading going to work, be thankful you are employed. Many are not. This is why reading something inspiring before bed helps. If you keep a gratitude journal, reviewing it before bed makes it that much more powerful.
When you do wake up, even if you have very little time to yourself, you can still set yourself up for success. Did I mention that I wake up at 4am? I often have very little time to get ready and get to work on time. The main reason is that I have a hard time leaving a warm bed with a hot lady inside of it. Instead of being upset I have to do that, I am grateful I have that. Then, near my bed and all of the places I am sure to go in the morning, such as the coffee maker, I have reminders of things that I am grateful for or that bring me joy. Pictures of loved ones or fun vacations. A well-placed inspirational quote can help your focus. Even reading your favorite motivational and inspirational blog, Secret2anamazinglife.com, can start your day out right. A little bit of light physical movement to get the heart pumping helps. If you have a mantra or an inspiring saying you enjoy? Try repeating it to yourself as you get ready. Place inspiring quotes or images on the bathroom mirror to look at while you brush your teeth.
These are but some of the ways that you can assure you wake up ready to take on the world and be a blessing to those around you. I would love to hear any tips you can offer on how to start your day off filled with joy and inner peace.
I have been writing this post for a week now. That is to say I had the title and idea for a week, but I wanted to wait until I had the time to really sit down and share this with you. What do we mean by hidden medicine? The idea came to me while listening to a song with that very title by the band Red Thunder. If you get a chance, look it up on YouTube. What is the ‘hidden medicine’ and where to we find it? We find it inside ourselves. What is the hidden medicine we all have inside of us? It is many different things. We will touch on a few of them today. If I have left off your favorite one, please feel free to let me know in the comments below.
Inside each one of us, there is a vast storehouse of potential that goes unused. That is because it is never explained or taught to us. Schools are more about teaching us what to remember than how to use what is inside of us. Our parents and teachers were most likely never told about this great power either. By the end of this post, you will know what your hidden medicine is and how to use it. Some of this medicine helps heal you physically, some mentally, some emotionally and some spiritually. A lot of it will help in all areas. Let us get started with our hidden medicine and begin healing ourselves.
Our first hidden medicine is gratitude. If you have even followed this site for a short time, you know how much we promote gratitude. This is not by accident or because it is trendy. No, gratitude has a great deal of power. As you can see in the picture above, it can heal a lot of things in your life. If you were to do only one thing to improve your life, I would suggest developing an attitude of gratitude. Suffering from fear or anxiety? Gratitude can help you heal that. If you are feeling full of lack, if the outlook of your life looks grim or you feel that the world is out to get you, gratitude can help heal that. You will start to see magic in everyday life. You will realize what truly matters and how lucky you are no matter how contrary those statements may sound at the moment.
The next hidden medicine is helping others or altruism. There is nothing that will make you forget your problems, or help you feel a warm fuzzy feeling in your heart quicker than helping someone else. If you feel that your problems feel overwhelming, reach out to help someone else. Not only will you feel good for doing something good and making the world a brighter place for that individual, but your own problems might seem a little easier to tackle after that. Helping others can make us realize how important and valuable we are. It can help us to realize what a difference one person can make and remind us that person is us!
To avoid making this too long and losing any of you, we are going to lump some of the last hidden medicines together. We will put them under the umbrella of ‘self-care’. Is self-care really a hidden medicine? You bet it is! This can mean so many different things for each of us. Some of us like being in the garden and working with plants. Some like going for walks in nature. It could be meditation, coffee with a friend, a good workout or a glass a wine and a good book.
Here is the medicinal quality of all of these items. They will affect our emotional state. They will infuse our spirit with hope, joy and lots of other positive emotions. They will force us to live in and learn to love the moment. This will help reduce stress and all of the not so pleasant side-effects that comes with. Being happier, healthier and less stress can also help heal our relationships with others. Why is that important? The worst emotion to feel at a funeral is not loss, it is regret. Knowing you should have said or done something differently. Knowing you could have acted better. What would be worse is if the funeral was your own and you wasted a good portion of your life sick, stressed and overwhelmed. Use your hidden medicines today before it is too late. Again, if you would like to add more please share in the comments below.
Who does not like to receive gifts? I know I do. Just the other day, Margie got me this amazing book. It made me quite happy. Even thinking of it as I write this has put a smile on my face. Not everyone is lucky enough to have an amazing lady in their life like I have. You cannot always depend on people giving you gifts every day. That is unless they are the Amazon driver.
There are two amazing gifts that you can give to yourself daily that will not only make you happy, but unlike Amazon, they will actually add to your life! We are going to tackle these gifts one at a time. A little word of caution. Do not underestimate the power of these gifts. You may look at them and think, “Oh that’s cute.” Perhaps you might even think they sound a little cliche. I can promise you that if you make giving yourself these two gifts a habit, you will add so much peace and joy to your life it will seem like magic. As an added bonus, you will also reduce many of the negative stressors in your life as well. Like…well…stress. You will worry less. You will experience less anger. Are you ready to go shopping? I have great news! You do not have to go to a store. You do not have to go to a website. You do not even have to spend any money for these gifts. Perhaps that is why so many fail to see their value. You will be one of the few that do!
I can see some of you rolling your eyes at this one. “Another post about gratitude?” Yep! More than anything else in my life, gratitude has been so transformative. If you make it a focus and daily practice, the power it has to positively impact your life can seem like magic. Let us throw a little science in the mix. You think, on average, 60,000 thoughts a day. Some a little more. Some, it would appear, a lot less. 80% of those thoughts are negative. 90% are the same thoughts you had the day before. It is crazy how the human brain works. Here is how to change all of that. Begin by thinking with purpose and thinking with gratitude. I threw a lot of numbers at you but here is the important one. You can only think 1 thought at a time. Therefore, when you are thinking about what you are grateful for, you cannot be thinking about what you are worried about. When you are grateful, you cannot be angry at that very second. You can see where this is going. Less anger, less worry and more gratitude. Just think how that may affect your life.
When I mention the gift of forgiveness, people stop and say, “I thought you said this was about giving yourself gifts? Forgiveness is something you give to others?” This may seem so on the surface, but it really is the gift you give yourself. Forgiveness does mend relationships and that certainly helps. Before we get to far ahead of ourselves let us clear one thing up right away. Some people may think forgiveness is excusing the words or actions of another. It is not. What it is doing is preventing those very words and actions from hurting you over and over again. That is what happens when you keep hurt and anger inside yourself. Have you ever watched someone tell you a story about something they will not forgive? They often get upset just telling you about. Their blood pressure rises, their cortisol and adrenaline spike. Meanwhile, the person who did this to them is enjoying a latte and reading a book down the street without a care in the world.
There is a million reasons why people do hurtful and mean things. We can’t pretend to know everyone’s story. Truth is, it really doesn’t matter. Look at the quote from Buddha. We are only hurting ourselves. This is even trickier when the person that we are so upset with and cannot forgive looks back at us in the mirror. We hurt someone and never got the chance to apologize. We did something foolish. We self-sabotage. There are a million crazy reasons we get upset with ourselves. What do emotions like regret and guilt do? They can quite literally drive us to an early grave. It certainly does not change the past. It only steals joy from the present. That does not to much to help the future either. Just like when we are upset with someone else, hanging on to that pain only serves to hurt us over and over again. Do yourself a favor and let it go. Not for them. For your peace.
Can you see how focusing on these two gifts can radically transform your life? Imagine taking just a few moments of your day to pause in reflection on gratitude and forgiveness. How would that improve your life? I would love to hear your answers.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 