Most of you know I leave for work at 4am. On Monday this follows a night of being a DJ that has me home around 1am. That’s a tough turnaround. I have a fairly long commute. Going on 2 hours of sleep it can be difficult to maintain a grateful and positive attitude on occasion.
There are, however, many things that are a beautiful observation should I pay attention. The sun just beginning to rise this time of year created the amazing image above. That one you can’t help but notice. There are a few that are a little more subtle, but just as heartwarming.
About halfway to work I drive down a more secluded and quiet street. I enjoy the lack of stoplights, and the wildlife. One other thing I at every morning is an elderly couple going for their morning walk. They hold hands and look so loving. I hope to be doing the same with my lovely lady when we reach their age.
The point is, even with 2 hours of sleep heading in to a 9 hour workday, there are still plenty of things to make me smile. The only requirement is to be on the lookout for them. How about you? What are some of the things you are grateful for every morning?
We touched on this thinking a few posts back with the story of my untimely, and fortunately temporary, death. What is really important in life has very little, if anything, to do with material goods. Beyond the basics of food, clothing and shelter there can only be so much joy to be found in excess of material goods. The irony is that is what a lot of us spend our time and energy pursuing. We work overtime at work to buy a bigger car or a name-brand this or that. These luxuries cannot be taken with us. The ancient Egyptians tried and their stuff is still sitting in the desert. One of my favorite quotes is from Denzel Washington. He said, “You will never see a U-Haul behind a hearse.” That is uncomfortably true.
When we are facing our final days, never are we laying on our death bed wishing for a bigger house or car. No, we would wish for more time with friends and family. In fact, time is the most precious of all the commodities of life. It is with a great deal of irony that we spend little time or energy to make sure we are making the most of whatever time we have. The amount none of us can be sure of. Doing things like living a healthier lifestyle. Reducing stress, eating fairly healthy and making sure we move will not only add life to our years, but could quite possibly add years to our life.
We covered two of the luxuries listed above. What about good company? I love that one. In a world where we are the slave to distraction, why not spend some energy and effort on being more present? It will help us enjoy our good company better. If we are present, we will catch little things that our friends share with us we might otherwise miss. When people leave our lives, we always find ourselves wishing for more time with them. One of the worst emotions to have when we lose someone is regret. “I wish I would have enjoyed the time I spent with them more.” we catch ourselves saying. This only compounds our feeling of loss. How much better would it be to know that we made the most of our time that was given to us?
How about the luxury of a quiet mind? In a world that moves at a mile-a-minute, a quiet mind is priceless. As an author who is currently writing about four different books, some peace and quiet with the voices in my head would be wonderful. How much time to we spend on developing peace of mind? Things like daily meditation and other stress reduction methods are investments in the luxury of peace of mind. So is working on not holding grudges, forgiveness and developing an attitude of gratitude. These are luxuries that we can use every day of our life. These are worth spending our time and money on.
Recently, Margie and I went on a week vacation. It was a memory worth investing in. It captured time, good company and peace of mind. It did, however, require us to be present with each other and what was going on around us. If we would have busied ourselves with thoughts of the obligations we had to return to, complained about the rain or if our food was not done right, it would have been a wasted expense. It is skills Margie and I have worked to improve with every vacation we go on. Our next one should be our honeymoon. We better be present for that one. Invest in the true luxury of life. What other luxuries do you think should have made the list? Share them in the comments below.
Today’s subject matter I have mentioned before, but it is so important that it should be repeated. Here is a little personal story of mine, I believe you can see how it will relate to your own life as well. When I was told that I needed open-heart surgery, it was roughly 60 days prior. To be honest, there was not much consideration as to what could happen. This was despite the doctor telling me that there was a small possibility of stroke or death. He quickly followed with, “It would only be a temporary stroke.” Jokingly, I asked if the death would be temporary as well. Little did I know that would be the case. We are getting ahead of ourselves, however.
In the days leading up to the surgery, Margie and I went to the movies. It was the movie Eternals. It was a long movie and I made the mistake of drinking some coffee prior to going in. Right as the heroes were saving the world, I had to save myself in the men’s room. While conducting my business the realization hit me that I could be dead in 60 days. Reading that it sounds scary, but my reaction was not. It created a sense of urgency. I realized that I had 60 days to accomplish what I wanted and the clock was ticking.
As I returned to my seat next to Margie my mind was going a mile a minute. I looked over at the love of my life and realized this could be one of the last movies we attended. I thought about the time of year, it was November at the time, and realized this could be my last Thanksgiving, Christmas and most importantly to me was Margie’s birthday. It could be my last shot to do any of these things. Then, I thought about my beautiful lady specifically. She, lost in the superhero plot to save the world looked so beautiful and it pained me to think of how she would feel if I did not make it out of my surgery. What would her memory of me be? There were more thoughts like this of other people I love and cared about. Then there were thoughts of my legacy. That is a word that sounds so far away, but here it was 60 days away from what might be my end. How does one create a legacy in 60 days? I had just released my second book. Did I share everything I wanted to with the world?
My mind began to swirl with thoughts of what I wanted to do in the remaining 60 days. Here is the crazy thing. It was not an exotic trip to Fiji. Although that is still on the list of things I would like to do. It was not get a sports car. After all, what good is material things to you if you may be gone shortly? What I wanted to do was experience and create as many memories as possible. As I write this, I am in a coffee shop with Margie working across the table. It is one of my favorite things. Really, everything with her. I realized I like going to the zoo, grocery store and walks in nature with my mother. Should I, or any of these wonderful people be gone, it would be one more of these experiences I would want to enjoy. Look around you at the people you share life with. You never know how many times you have left with them. Really enjoy that one more. Be present. Be grateful. Love as much as you can. We never know when we will be left wishing for ‘one more’.
We have spent countless posts and words on this site talking about the benefits of developing an attitude of gratitude. One of the main benefits is to help you see the light in the darkest of times. That it why it is important to develop that attitude when things are going your way. It makes it a lot easier to develop gratitude as a lifestyle when you start using it when things are going good for you. What happens when you have not sufficiently developed your attitude of gratitude, or when you are facing a situation that feels so dark to you that it is impossible to find the light? It is then that this quote above will serve us well.
In the worst cases. That is the toughest times we face. It can be hard to think of what to be grateful for. Given some time and hindsight, it will usually occur to us. What about those first few moments? The day we lost that job? The weeks after we suffer the breakup of that relationship we thought would last forever? Even losing someone we love, what then? Our world seems so dark it can seem as if the light as abandoned us. It can be stark reminder to take a hard look at things we may not have fully appreciated. Everyone complains about going to work, but being unemployed is far more difficult. A breakup is difficult, but did you spend the time you were together loving to the fullest and appreciating the love you received? When we lose a loved one, can we double our efforts to love those that we still have in our life? How about honoring and keeping the memories in our heart of the person we lost?
There are times when life is so dark it is impossible to see the good in anything. It happens to all of us. When that does happen, it can be a great time to reflect on much of the good that we take for granted. You lost your job? Do you have people in your life that love you? Do you have skills that will allow you to get another job? Your partner leave you? Is this a chance to better yourself and learn from your mistakes so that your next relationship will be even more rewarding? It can be hardest to lose someone we really care about. Even then, we can think of our own health. We can realize what a great gift it was to have to opportunity to love someone. Being able to share connection with someone is a gift that should not be overlooked. It is sad when that gift ends, but in reflection, it was great to have. Not everyone does have such a thing.
When you face the darkest periods of your life, be grateful it was not always that way and it will not always be that way no matter how dark it looks. Do your best to notice things unrelated to the area of your life that is hurting. Do you have your health? Do you have friends? You have the ability to read a site like this and be a part of a community dedicated to seeing the beauty in themselves, others and the world around them. You can, and you will, outlast the darkness!
Today is Friday! At least that is the day this post comes out. Let us go into the weekend refreshing our mindset. In a world where everything is available at our fingertips, or can be delivered to our front door, it is understandable that we live in a state of wanting more. There is always the ‘next big thing’. People want the latest phone, the latest streaming service or the newest thing.
It is not bad to want the best, but at what cost? It is one thing to feel this way with material goods, but seldom does emotion stay in one place. Suddenly we are wanting more from our friends, our family and even our spouse. This not only causes fractures in relationships, but has us living in a state of lack.
When you always want more, then you never feel like you have enough. You feel unsatisfied. Even if you do get more, you still feel empty. What is the solution? Gratitude. When you switch to being grateful for what you do have, you feel abundant instead of lacking. When you do get more, you feel blessed and favored. It is a much happier life.
You can increase that feeling of gratitude when you consider how many problems you do not have. You have an illness or disease? I’m not here to tell you to be happy about that, but consider what you don’t have. There are roughly 20,000 human diseases. We should be glad we don’t have more than we do.
The 2 secrets of happiness are not that complicated. Be happy for the blessings you do have and be grateful for the problems you do not have. If you were to focus on these two things before bed and when you arise, your life would be amazing.
Last post we discussed an interaction I had with a stranger named Jeff. If you have not read it, have a look. It is an entertaining and brief story. It was a short and pleasant moment with a fellow I may never see again. This altercation not only provided material for a post on this website, but it brightened my day and filled me with gratitude. Can you recall a pleasant interaction with a stranger? Most of us remember rude or disrespectful people a lot more than we remember nice ones. Just the way our brains seem to be wired. The cumulative effect of stacking memories of unpleasant interactions, is that it can lead to a conclusion that most people in the world are unpleasant.
While it is true that there is a demographic of people that we may describe as unpleasant, we are helped every day by people we can often overlook or take for granted. Did you stop for a cup of coffee? Were you greeted nicely? Did someone hold a door for you? Did someone share a smile with you? Even someone listening to what you had to say is such a gift. A person cleaning off a table in a restaurant so you can eat at a clean table. Yes, this is there job, but them doing it and doing it well allows for a more pleasant experience for you. Stop and think of all the nice things that strangers do for you in a day. Even just sharing a smile with you in their busy day. When you do this for a week, it will do two important things for you.
What should be obvious is that it will increase the level of gratitude you enjoy in your life. We have discussed what this will do for you, but suffice to say it will help you in all areas physical, mental and emotional. The more important, and less obvious, is it will help you to see others and the world in a more positive light. When you reflect daily, for about a week, on what strangers did for you, it will help you to see how good people are. It will also help you to see those on your journey as helping you. This will cause you to have a more positive outlook on the world at large. How helpful could this be? You may be asking what those sunshine-challenged individuals did to cause you to feel grateful? Did they help you practice your patience? Give you an example of the person you do not want to be? Remind you how important it is to be decent and kind? Perhaps their poor behavior only allowed your good behavior to shine even greater? There are at least four ways in which a negative stranger can give you something to be grateful for. Imagine how much more we could get from a positive person?
Lastly, turn this around a little. Ask yourself what positive thing you have done for a stranger. You can have a far greater impact on the world around you than you think. Once you begin to take note of things strangers do for you and how they wonderfully impact your life, you will desire to return the favor.
On the journey to become the best version of ourself and live an amazing life, we have a tendency to overcomplicate things. If you want to discover the secrets to an amazing life and remain motivated to become the best version of yourself, it boils down to remembering two simple things. I even carry a coin that has both of them printed on it. The first can be seen in the photo above. Momento Mori. This is Latin for “Remember you must die.” It is a reminder that our time on earth is a finite and depreciating asset. Just the other night I was listening to a stand up comedian who mentioned someone said to him, “Look at this picture of me when I was younger.” He replied, “Every picture of you is when you were younger.” That is both funny and profound. Even in the digital era were pictures are captured and can be viewed in seconds, we are still that much older. Another way to look at it is that much of our life has already slipped away.
Time passes by in the blink of an eye. Above is a young me and the current me. Shocked and blessed I made it this far, a brief flirtation with death not withstanding. Chances are that over 50% of my life is already gone. Even the time exchanged for typing these words are minutes I will never get back. That is why it is so important to consider what we exchange the time for in our life. It is a our most valuable commodity and one that is constantly depreciating. Knowing that will hopefully spur us to use it wisely. Does that mean we should lock ourselves in our house and try to live the safest life we can? That brings us to the second thing we should remember. The one that is printed on the opposite side of my coin.
How do we make the most of our life as it continues to slip away? That brings us to the second thing we should remember if we want to live an amazing life. Memento Vivere. Latin for “Remember to live.” Do the things that feed your soul and not just your wallet. Worry more about the smiles on the faces of those you love than the bottom line on your bank balance. Spend time noticing the flowers and not just driving to work. This may all sound a little like ‘living with rose-colored glasses’. That is just a term the unenlightened use to describe those who have found the secret to falling in love with their life. It is often said with jealousy and envy. They are unable to get past the outside circumstances that challenge our emotional well-being.
Remembering to live is more than changing our actions. It is a change of mindset. It is seeing everything as the miracle it is. Helen Keller once famously said, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all.” Think of when you were a young child. Your life was one big adventure. Adventures contain ups and downs. If we are sheltering ourselves from living life to the fullest either out of fear or in an attempt to cling to the fictious feelings of comfort and security, we must know we are leaving a lot on the table. We are either enjoying life or we are wasting it. Even the struggles of life come to bring us lessons and experiences we could experience no other way. Be grateful for them as well. Develop an attitude of gratitude. Realize that life happens for you and not to you. If these concepts sound like positive thinking hype to you, realize that your cynical thinking may be preventing you from living life to the fullest.
When it comes to living an amazing life, keep it simple. Remember these two things and use them to propel your life to the successful level you deserve.
Leave it to me to pick a month that has 31 days in it to do a 30 day gratitude journey. It didn’t seem right to end it with only 1 day left in the month. Therefore, we get a bonus day of gratitude.
This picture was taken a little over a year ago. It is crazy to imagine that last year at this time I reached 1000 days in a row of posting a blog. Unknown to me, my lovely lady gathered some close friends around to celebrate. That in itself was amazing. Each person said a little something as Margie recorded a video. That is a memory I will always cherish. In this one event there are a million things I can pick out to be grateful for!
This is blog number 1367. As you can see I made it another year! Still another thing to be grateful for. I hope this month was as powerful and enlightening for you as it was for me. If you missed any of the 30 days, you can go back and read those posts. If you feel the need for a month of gratitude, they will be here anytime you wish to take the journey. Next month we will be back to our regularly scheduled self-improvement content. You are welcome to join us!
What talent or skill do you have that you are grateful for? What a great question. We do not stop and think of all the things that we are amazing at enough. The world teaches us to be self-critical. It is important to, at the very least, balance that out with complimenting ourselves on what we do well. This would be a practice to keep doing regularly. Keeping a reserve of positive self-image will help us succeed and go farther in life that being overly critical of ourselves.
Talents and skills are often used interchangeably, but I feel there is a big difference. To me, talent is something you are born with or naturally good at. Skill, on the other hand, is something that takes hard work and practice to excel at. Can you think of examples of both in your own life? Are there things you are just naturally good at? What skill that you have worked hard to be good at can you be both proud and grateful for?
My own personal examples are a little fuzzy. There are talents I believe that I am naturally good at, yet I still have put in much effort to make the most of them. Take speaking to people. For whatever reason, the fear of speaking is something that I do not have. Using this gift, I have worked hard to become a better speaker with each opportunity. I have always been a inquisitive person, but have used that to learn as much as my brain will hold. One of my favorite skills I have developed is to see the good in as many people as I can. Gleefully, many people in my life are pretty easy to see the good in. It is more reminding them why they are so awesome. Some forget or may have never been told. Some people are more of a challenge to see the good in, but it is those folks who help you strengthen this skill the most.
How about you? Have you thought of what talents and skills you are good at? Everyone has some. What are yours? Have you reminded yourself how amazing you are and felt grateful for the talents and skills you have? If not, today would be a good time to start.
How can you pick just one friend or family member to be grateful for? It doesn’t say just one, so we will pick a few. Friends and family members add the color to our lives. Some friends become just like family. There are so many amazing people in my life. I am grateful for all of them and are going to work on expressing that better as the year goes on.
For the purpose of this blog, I am going to name a few. It is not a complete list by any stretch of the imagination. As we mentioned last post, I am grateful for my mother. We always have such fun times together. Whether we are going for a hike, working out at the gym or just going for coffee. It is always great conversation. I am grateful for my friends Dan, Jonathan and Nick. Speaking of great conversations, those gentleman always have great things to say. We solve the worlds problems over a cup of coffee! I am grateful for my soul friend Shannon. She not only imparts much amazing knowledge of the natural world, but is kind enough to even let me know when my favorite burger stand opens up! Grateful for all the friends of Margie and I who come to see us at our shows on Sunday. It creates such a warm and friendly atmosphere.
Lastly, I am grateful for Margie. She is not only my best friend, but after next October she will be family as well. She adds so much joy to my life it would take an entire post just to explain it all! How about you? What friend or family member are you grateful for? Once you start thinking about it, I am sure you will feel very grateful and lucky just like I do!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 