Tag: goals

MY OLD FRIEND MOE

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I’m here to talk to you about a dear old friend we share.  Our friend moe. Not this moe who happens to be the leader of the comedy group the 3 stooges. No I’m talking about a different moe, one who can and does have a great impact on our lives. This moe was brought to my attention in a conversation with my good friend Bret.

So who is this friend? This friend’s name is motivation. Have you ever noticed how hard it can be to get motivated some days? Have you ever noticed how easy it is to get things done when you are ‘on a roll’? Even if you experience challenges you seem to just find your way through our around them. 

Here is some great news, you can to a large extent control your motivation.  In fact, if you are not you may find yourself fall victim to our friend moe. Yes it’s true motivation can be negative. It can seem to turn against you.  Perhaps you may have heard this in sports.  The talk about teams losing motivation, or that the motivation has switched teams.

So how can we not only get motivated,  but stay motivated? Again more fabulous news.  In this day of modern technology it is all around us.  Viewing motivational videos on YouTube is something I do daily.  You can download or purchase these for your mp3 player as well. There are books on motivation as well.  Don’t have time? They are even on audio book as well.

Still the best motivation doesn’t come from outside it comes from inside. How can we develop inner motivation? Some people refer to it as ‘drive’. Here are some quick ways to develop yours. First, learn your why.  Knowing what has to be done is only part of the job. Knowing why you need to do it gives you motivation.  Be it ‘negative’ motivation such as if I don’t get my job done at work my boss may fire me, or ‘positive’ motivation such as if I surprise my wife by doing the dishes she will be happy and more loving. Knowing why gets you moving. Second, find a reward for you in it.  It’s great if you can get that externally such as my wife will give me more affection if I help her. More often than not, however the reward misty come from within.  Whether it be the feeling of accomplishment you get, or something more tangible such as “I’ll treat myself to ice cream if I can make it to the gym 3 days this week”. Then you also meet moe’s friend discipline.

So put our old friend moe to work for you! Feel free to tell anyone you like about your old friend by sharing this post. Also feel free to share your secrets to getting and staying motivated in the comments below.

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?

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The question in the title of title of this post is what we are going to think about today.  If you were to approach a ships captain in a harbor and ask his next port of call he could tell you in one sentence. Now at the moment the captain cannot see his destination, nor can he forsee the challenges of the journey to get there. Still he knows where he is going and can picture it in his minds eye. He also knows if there are challenges such as weather he will make adjustments to his heading and continue on. It is even worse for an airline pilot. They are of course a full 80% of the time! Making constant slight adjustments they arrive most of the time on time.

What is the point of all this? The reason why both people can arrive safely and on time is simple – they know where they are going. Do you know where your life is going? What is your life’s destination? Quite often people are afraid to think of one, or to set a goal. Why? They are afraid. Afraid of failure. Much like our two people above your course will take detour after detour. Still without a port of call in mind your journey can often feel hopeless and senseless. A ship or aircraft would never set out and say “who knows where we are going, but let’s hope we end up somewhere nice”. The odds say they would both end up in tragedy. Would you get on a plane that did not list where it was going? Of course you wouldn’t! Still this is what most of us do with our lives. Sure we have wishes and things we want, but know concrete goals or destination. So take some minutes today and sit down with a pen and paper. Write down what you want your life to become. Who you wish to become as a person. List every detail. Then look at that list at least weekly. If you find you are failing or seeming to be drifting off course,that’s great!  At least you know and can make adjustments. Your life will have direction. You will feel as though you have a purpose. When someone asks you where your next port of call is you can answer them in just one sentence.

Feel free to share your goals in the comments below.  Also feel free to like and share this posts with others. It is always more fun to be around others with goals.

WHY AM I NOT SEEING RESULTS?

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This is a very interesting story and did a lot to keep me going. Have you ever been working at a goal, giving it your best effort day after day and feel like you’re not getting anywhere? If you have tried to achieve anything I am sure we have all had a point like this. So what can you do when this happens? How do you stay motivated? How do you keep pushing forward when all your efforts seem in vain? It is a question that haunts all of us. I have a little story that may put things into perspective. Something that will allow you to keep pushing forward, and something I have seen in my life recently.

What is this story? It is the story of a Chinese bamboo tree. What does this tree have to do with our life and achieving our goals? A good deal. Let me explain the life cycle of the Chinese bamboo tree. You take a seed and plant it in the ground. You water and fertilize it for a whole year. If you forget the seed will die and you will have to start over. If you are faithful and do so for a whole year, guess what happens? Nothing. Ok, so you stick with it. Fertilize and water it for another 52 weeks. If you stop you know the seed will die. So at the end of the second year you have…nothing. You’ve gone this far so what is another 365 days right? At the end of the third year? Not even a sprout. The fourth year is more of the same. Let’s recap, for four long years you have fertilized and watered and took care of this seed that you are starting to even doubt is still under the ground. So year 5, losing hope you continue your efforts knowing if you stop the seed will die and it will all be for nothing. Something happens in year 5, the tree not only sprouts, it grows 90 FEET IN SIX WEEKS!!

Again, that is a great story about a tree but how does it relate to our life? Everything! Our goals are much like that seed. We plant them and work on them for one year, two years maybe more. We know if we stop and give up on our goals and dreams they will die and not come true. Quite often all of our efforts may be lost and we may have to begin again. Yet, if we stick with it, if we keep working one day we will experience something like the bamboo tree and our goals will explode. We may not see everything that is happening with our efforts. They may seem like that seed deep in the earth, growth is happening but not visible to the eye.

On a personal note I can see this beginning to happen in my own life. I wrote my book. I faithfully create these blog posts daily. Nothing seemed to be happening for years. Now I was featured on a podcast due out soon, I will be appearing at and speaking at the Wisconsin author festival, a book promotion due out in about a week and meetings lined up with several people I could possibly work with to take things to the next level. I even spoke at a wedding recently! All this good fortune could not have happened without the work I had done in the years leading up to that. So if you are not seeing results and you are honestly doing the best you can, giving 120% just remember the story of the mighty bamboo tree.

If you enjoyed this post, or think it may help someone you know feel free to share it on social media, tell your friends and check out and subscribe to my YouTube channel under ‘Neil Panosian’. Also feel free to leave any comments you may have below.

MAKE IT A POSITIVE GOAL

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When people make resolutions for the new year it is surprising how many are negative. By negative I do not mean we are looking for bad things to happen, but we may too focused on what we wish to get rid of. Such as “I want to quit smoking” “I want to lose 10 pounds” while these are goals are good in and of themselves, they way we have worded them is in the negative. We are quitting smoking. Who wants to be a quitter? We actually want to be no longer controlled by an unhealthy addiction. We want to begin a smoke free lifestyle. Lose 10 pounds? Why? Because we wish to live a healthier life. Some people tell me “I want to stop being depressed all of the time” really they wish to add more joy to there life.

This may seem like splitting hairs, but it is not. All of our motivation comes from two sources. We either want to reduce pain,or increase pleasure. I think using a little of both tends to work the best. I encourage you to write down the reasons WHY you are working towards any goal. Try adding lots of statements including things you will gain by this goal.

If reading this has inspired you, or you have found it useful please feel free to share this with all of your friends

THE BIG DIFFERENCE

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Several people I know live life with a certain sense of  foreboding. I have even heard them say “I’m just waiting to see what goes wrong next”. My thought is always why?  When I tell them why not look for what is going to go right next,  they mumble something about living in a fantasy world,  or how things always go wrong for them. When I mention it could possibly be because they are looking for them to go wrong I am faced with often disbelief and sometimes anger and indignation.
Truth is whatever we focus on we create.  Now I am not going to go into the science behind the law of attraction,  as there are sites dedicated to just that.  Here is the truth  – in life there will always be ups and downs, positive and negatives – when we are looking to notice what is going wrong that will be highlighted and seem more prevalent.
So what happens,  what changes when we look for, and believe in the good that is going to come?

Two major things happen when you begin to expect and look for good things to happen. First, you start to feel better. You are filled with excitement and joy. People may even begin to comment on how you have changed, or what is different about you. Second, you start to notice the good things. Not only things that are happening, or did happen, but things that may happen, or will happen! You start to notice opportunities that may have slipped passed you before. As an added bonus, the bad things may fade from view. They will still be there because any life has it’s challenges, but they will seem less intimidating and overwhelming.

So there are plenty of reasons to switch to focusing on the good. How does one do this? We will focus on that in depth in future blogs, but for right now begin to write down and note when good things happen in your life. One fun project you can do is start a gratitude journal. write down every day at least 5 things you are grateful for and why a day. Review your list right before you sleep. It will change your life. Feel free to share any ideas you may have for staying on the ‘sunny side of the street’

YOUR MIND…THE GARDEN

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Yesterday we talked about my recent “dropping the ball”. Today I want to share with you another way of looking at it.  This comes from one of my favorite speakers Les Brown. He compared the mind to the garden. In the garden weeds represent problems. So, in the garden of life we will consider weeds to represent the problems. As we can see above weeds, and problems, do not need any help to grow. They can even grow in the cracks in asphalt. If we left our garden to it’s own devices weeds would surely take over. That may sound crazy to a lot of us. Why, after all, would you go through the problem of setting up a garden, planting a garden and then let nature take it’s course. Oddly enough, that is what most of us do in our lives. We wake up like an accident. No purpose, no focus. Oh sure we plan to go to work, plan to make dinner and a few other things, but those are not part of planting our garden.

Think of a garden, you have to choose what you want it to grow by planting the right seeds. What ideas or projects have you planted in your own life? Then, in our imaginary garden let us say  we planted roses. To raise a beautiful rose there are certain things you have to do. Water it so often, make sure it receives enough sun. Perhaps add some sort of fertilizer. Life is no different. If you have a great idea or project you have planted you must cultivate the proper environment for that idea to grow.

One more thing we have to do in our garden. Weed. If we just left weeds in our garden alone and worried about taking care of our plants they would eventually crowd out and kill our plants. Same in life. You must deal with your problems, or pull the weeds, before they grow and kill your dreams and ideas. So what we have here is a balance. You must tend to your plants in your garden, or your dreams, ideas and projects in your life. You must also spend time removing the weeds in your garden, or addressing and eliminating the problems in your life.

So take a look at your life. Do you have a garden with nothing planted in it? Do you just wake up and go through the motions letting nature take it’s course? Perhaps you have some dreams and goals you planted years ago and never tended to. Perhaps you were so busy trying to pull the weeds out of the garden of your life you forgot to tend to .and fertilize what you were trying to grow. Life is a balance my friends. Let us all work to have a more beautiful garden in 2016

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!

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Who the hell are you? Chances are you had to stop a second and think of the answer to that. What did you come up with? Was your identity attached to your occupation? Was it defined by your family life? Perhaps you chose your faith to define who you are. It is amazing how little focus we spend on who we are. Even less on who we desire to become. Here is a great secret, you have power over that. What do I mean by this? Let me share with you a simple exercise I learned that can help us become the type of person we desire to be. First ask yourself who you wish to be. Keep it simple. One word answers. Come up with three. Once you get started it can be easy to keep going, but pick the 3 most powerful ones for you. By most powerful I mean the ones you really wish to be defined by. Perhaps you wish to be a driven person, but all you seem to drive is other people crazy. write it down. Maybe you want to be energetic, but the only energy you use is the batteries in the remote? write it down. Maybe you would just like to be a happy joyous person, but life always seems to knock you down. write it down.

So now you have a list. In our example it would be driven, energetic and happy Here is all you do, much like the questions from yesterdays post, in fact you can have them on the same sheet of paper, read these three words three times a day. upon waking, before retiring and at least once a day. In addition, read them whenever you seem to be off track. Feeling to lazy to change a channel and find yourself feeling like spending the day on the sofa? Read your list. The boss have you so mad you are seeing red? read the list. It is like reminding yourself of who you are. Not who you want to be, but who you are. It may seem like you are lying to yourself, but deciding who you want to be is a new practice for most of us and our brain may need a gentle reminder.

Again I encourage you to try this for 30 days. If you pair it with the questions from yesterdays post your life is on the fast track to positive change. In a month you will not even recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror! Please stop back and share your results

THE MAN IN THE MIRROR

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Here is a picture of me from my latest seminar. Why am I holding a mirror? I am discussing the most important person in your quest to reduce stress and increase joy in your life. Yes, it is the person in the mirror. The one your greet every morning. Some of you may think this sounds selfish, or even wrong. I have heard statements like “but Neil, I have children at home who need me, I can’t think of myself” or “I have to make sure my spouse is happy” I have even heard “I have to think of paying my bills before I can focus on making myself happy”

Really? Here is a secret, bills will always be there. Here is another thing to ponder, how can you fill a cup from an empty pitcher? Increasing your joy and reducing your stress will not only able you to increase the Quantity, but the quality of joy you give to others as well. It is very hard to lend a shoulder to a friend to cry on when yours are weighted down with the burdens of a stress filled life. In fact, taking care of number one, can quite often be the best way to take care of number two. When you invest in yourself and learn how to improve your own life you can pass that information on to others. So today let us spend sometime thinking about the person in the mirror and how we can improve their life.

TODAY IS THE DAY

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This is a quote that really helped get my life on the fast track. Here is something I am often guilty of, thinking too far ahead. What do I mean by this? I will think of all the steps I must do to complete a project and become so overwhelmed I will not start. Have you ever done that? This quote helped me look at things differently. My goal is to be someone who can touch lives and  bring joy to countless people across this crazy planet we live on. If I thought of everything that would have to happen for that to be true I would quickly be overwhelmed and may be inclined to give up. Instead I find that asking myself a different question helps a great deal. I read this quote and then think of my goal and ask myself “What can I do today?” What steps can I take today that will help my cause in the future? Too often we focus on if we had only done this in the past, or well things will be better when I can do that in the future.

This need not only apply to life missions. Even things like the vacation you are looking to take. If you can’t afford the trip to Fiji tomorrow, what can you do? Look into getting your passport? Look at resorts in Fiji and which you might like to stay at? Talk to a travel agent and discover what time of year is best. Begin to visualize yourself there. So many steps you can take today. Start by putting $20 in a bank or savings account to put towards it. Little steps taken daily change your life. So let us ask ourselves, what can we do today? Even if it seems like a very small step, take whatever action you can towards your goal. You will feel better and gain momentum.