Tag: Friends

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 20 – WHO IS IT?

This is one of the big ones. Who are you grateful for in your life? In any gratitude practice I think this one is included. I am sure at some point in time we have thought about how grateful we are for certain people in our life. Here are two challenging ideas I hope you take action on. First, spend a focused few minutes and think of who you are grateful for. Write their names down. Next, ask yourself how you could express this feeling of gratitude? You could tell them in person, a phone call, an email or the good old greeting card. You could even post on their social media.

Great friends are certainly people to be grateful for. Above is a picture of people who used to come to a bar I worked at. Many are still good friends. I am grateful to have met them all. That is the fun thing about meeting people. Each person, in some way or another, brings something to your life to be grateful for. Even some of the worst people can leave you grateful for the example of what you do not want in your life and grateful for all of those who are not like them. Most people, however, give you something positive to be grateful for. It could be humor, being a great listener or a million other traits.

Family is another group of people to be grateful for. Above is a picture of my mother and I braving what turned out to be a terrible flood. We also had been enjoying the Wisconsin State Fair. Walking through the fair with my mother is one of my favorite things that I look forward to all year. We go on discovery walks and try many new foods and just have a lot of fun. Could not be more grateful for that if I tried.

To of course having someone that loves you even on your bad days. This woman has changed my life more than any other person I know. A year and a half from now I guess she will also be family! Having that rock of love is one of the most powerful things that you can have in your life. Sharing adventures as well as the daily grind together. It makes the sorrows less and multiplies the joy.

As you can see, there are so many people to be grateful for in your life. Really, each person offers you that little bit to be grateful for. We touched on it in the friendship paragraph, but you can think of anyone and everyone and gratitude could be given. The great employee who served you an iced coffee so you would have energy to write. (Thank you Anthony) The lady who checked you out at the market. The employee at the power company you may never meet, but who worked in dangerous conditions to keep your power on and the milk from spoiling. Speaking of milk, how about being grateful for the dairy farmer? How about being grateful for the cow?

There are an endless list of people you can be grateful for. I have shared just a few of mine and gave you some thoughts on more. How about you? Who are you grateful for in your life?

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 4 – FOOD!

Today’s post asks us what food we are grateful for! This could be an entire book for me. Not only am I going to marry a woman with an education in culinary arts, but we both love to try new and exciting foods both going out as well as creating recipes staying in. We eat both for enjoyment as well as doing our best to eat for health as well. Out of all of that, how can you pick what food you are most grateful for? It sure is a complicated question. After some thinking, I have a valid and true answer.

Above are just a few examples of some amazing dining experiences I have had. There was a picture of my lovely lady waiting for a meal on our second trip to Jamaica. There is also a conch salad we had in the Bahamas. It was very fresh and we watched the man prepare it on the spot for us. Margie, however, thought it was like attempting to eat a super ball. I must say she was not entirely incorrect in her assertation. The final picture was of a breakfast we shared while on vacation. As you can see, tasting new dishes in different places is just part of the fun of exploring the world with the woman I love.

This is a picture of a mouth-watering dish created by that same beautiful lady of mine. It was cod cooked in parchment paper with mushrooms and onions. It was seasoned with dill and other spices. It was amazing! It was fun to watch her put it all together and help what little I did. Trying to pick the favorite dish this woman created would be nearly impossible. Everything she makes is so delicious. That is also something to be grateful for. It is also why I must go to the gym several days a week. Portion control is something I am working very hard on.

You may be wondering which of these dishes is the one that I am most grateful for. It is both all of them and none of them. Confused? Let me explain. When thinking about some of the best food I have had the pleasure of enjoying, it is the company that makes all the difference. Whether it is the woman I am fortunate enough to share my life with, family or friends, great company makes the food taste better. Sure, there are times when even the best company can’t save a dish, but at least you will create a memory you all can laugh at later. My mother, my friend Nick and I just experienced such a thing this past weekend.

To sum it up, my favorite food would be any food you share with those you love. It not only adds amazing flavor, it is part of an amazing memory. How about you? Is there a specific dish that you are grateful for? Maybe a homemade dish that your grandmother used to make? A sinful dessert from your favorite place? What food are you most grateful for and why? Let us know in the comments.

YOU GOT THIS! 😀

This post has 2 parts. Both of which revolve around the fact that it is National Encouragement Day. Who encourages you? For me, it is my lady and her daughter with how hard they work in their bakery.  My mother and her commitment to staying healthy. My friend Shannon with her knowledge of, and passion for our friends in the plant kingdom. Our friend Kurt And his business ventures. Our friend Mary with her support of Margie and me. There are a million others. All of my friends inspire me in some fashion.

Here is the other half of the equation. How do you encourage yourself? It in a world that can be unexpectedly cruel at times, we need to have sources of encouragement we can lean on. Sometimes those in our life we rely to encourage us might be having a bad day, or just be busy with life.

Personally, I have a playlist of songs that encourage me. All I do is push play and I’m on my way. I have a daily inspiration  calendar. I have a few apps that contain inspirational messages.

How about you? Who encourages you? How do you encourage yourself?

BEST SERVED IN GOOD COMPANY 👍

This is a picture from a little Italian grocery store I visited while taking my aunt out to her old neighborhood. I love the suggestion on the bottom. “Best served in good company”. How many things should have this suggestion? Good company makes everything better.

On this evening, I was accompanied by not only my aunt, but my mother and Margie as well. We ate at my aunt’s favorite Chinese restaurant, shopped at this grocery store and relaxed at an independent coffee shop. All that would be a great night for me, but doing it with those you love make it even more amazing.

How about you? Have there been things you have done that are ‘best served in good company?’ What other products do you think should have this suggestion printed on them? My suggestion would be coffee. Sharing a good cup of coffee with a friend makes it taste that much better. What is your suggestion?

MAYBE THAT IS HEAVEN 👼

Fred Rogers is one of my favorite sources of inspiration. Many of you know that already. I have never heard this quote before, but it only serves as an example of why I enjoy the man’s ideas so much. Think of all the people you have met that have made a difference in your life. This even holds true for people you have reconnected with after a long time. They can add so much joy into your life and help you grow and discover new things about yourself you have never known.

Margie and I DJ every Sunday. It is not my favorite thing to do as I am not really a bar person and work early Monday morning. However, we have met and became friends with some wonderful people. There are great couples like Ron and Deb, Montell and Tanya, Rise and Ron and Chris and Nicci. This is but a mere sample of them. We have become good friends with the bartender Kelly. There is an older gentle who goes by Melvis that always puts a smile on our faces. Our friend Sara is so generous with her kindness and help we always appreciate her. So many people that do sweet things for us and with us that if I mentioned them all it would take several posts.

This is just one example of an area in which we have made lasting connections. In my day job working for the Postal Service, I have made wonderful connections at each location I have worked at. Some of which we still gather with on federal holidays for lunch. I have friends from childhood. My friend Matt I have known since we were 7. A few years back, I reconnected with my friend Kevin who I have been friends with since we were both 4! Even Jenny, my friend who cuts my hair, I have been friends with for over 3 decades. Each one of these people has made my life a blessing and helped me discover some new and wonderful things about myself.

There are the unexpected connections that can have the greatest impact. While I was working as a bartender I was connected with this amazing lady. Not only have we been blissfully in love for 10 years, but we are going to get married in the hopefully not too distant future. You never know when a connection will transform your life and send it in a completely different direction. Be grateful for all of your connections. If treated and fostered correctly, they are what make life feel like heaven.

WANT SUCCESS? KEEP IT SIMPLE 💯

This post was inspired during the amazing dinner that Margie and my mother put together to help celebrate 1000 blogs on this site. Our good friend, Ron Perez, looked around the table and told me something that in its simplicity, was yet profound. He said, “Neil, all you need is good friends and good food.” He was right. I could not have been happier than I was that night. No amount of fame or fortune could have done it. No amount of monetary reward. People often trip over some of the greatest treasure on their way to look for it.

Having a good group of friends and being able to share some good food, is something far too many of us in the world are not able to do. In fact, having a strong social circle and good friends is one of the most determining factors in longevity. This according to the Blue Zone book that examined the lives of the longest living people and what they had in common. Mr. Perez’s statement was quite the wise one and backed up by science.

Many folks spend a great deal of their time and energy investing in obtaining wealth and prestige. If you were to obtain such things and sacrifice your relationships to do so, you would still be poor. Something about friends – money cannot buy true ones. It is something that has to be fostered and grown with time. It takes trust, honesty, love, compassion and many other things that money or fame could not buy. On the opposite end of the spectrum, if you lack money but still have a great deal of true friends, you are wealthier than you can imagine. Not only are they able to help you, be that financial or connecting you to opportunities, but they will encourage and support you emotionally.

I am still reeling from the outpouring of love that I received at that surprise dinner the other night. That made me feel like the wealthiest person in the world! By our definition, I believe that I am. In your life, keep it simple. Invest in the things that truly matter. Take care of those who take care of you. Spend your time and money building friendships and helping others. The payout will be far better than any winning lottery ticket you could come across. To me, my friends and family are the greatest treasure.

DO YOU WANT TO STAND OUT? 😮

Do you want to stand out in your relationships? Do you want to be the one that makes those in your life smile? I think we all do. In order to stand out from everyone else, you have to do something different from everyone else. That makes sense doesn’t it? This doesn’t have to be dramatic or expensive to have a powerful impact. I’m going to show you how to become a significant player in the life of those you care about while making them feel amazing. Better yet, I’ll show you how to do this for $2 in just a few minutes. Are you on board?

Today is national “send a friend a greeting card day” Yes, I didn’t know it existed either. “Neil, nobody sends greeting cards anymore!” That is exactly the point! By taking a few minutes to write down some encouraging or inspiring thoughts in a greeting card and making it to a friend, you stand out. How would you feel checking the mail and finding a card from a friend telling you how awesome you are and how grateful they are for you? Pretty good, I would imagine.

It doesn’t have to even be a fancy expensive greeting card. They sell cards at the dollar store. It is the thoughts behind it and the uniqueness of the action. Imagine doing this for one friend a month,or even one friend a week! Think of how much your relationships could improve with the simple power of a greeting card?

A little rusty on writing out greeting cards? Do you want some practice? Our address here at Secret2anamazinglife.com can be found below.

P.O. BOX 333

Oak Creek WI 53154 USA

FULFILLMENT ACCORDING TO NICCI 👩‍🎨

Today’s post will feature a deep dive into an answer to a question I posed to several friends and associates. The question was, “What, in your opinion, makes for a truly fulfilling life?” We will take a deeper dive into the answer featured in today’s post. This includes looking at how we can implement their ideas for fulfillment into our own life. This will allow all of us to wake up with a greater sense of inner peace and joy. If these answers inspire you, and you would like to share your own feeling on what makes life fulfilling, feel free to do so in the comments below. You could be featured in a future post or in my next book! Now let us take a look at today’s answer!

Today’s answer comes from a great friend of Margie and myself. Nicci is an art teacher, a dedicated and loving mother to 2 very talented daughters and a great singer. With all that she has on her plate, it is vital for Nicci to be able to know what gives her a sense of life fulfillment. Nicci’s answer was as follows.

A network of genuine friends who inspire, encourage, and support you no matter what makes life worthwhile. I love my people so much and they are the biggest blessing in my life. This of course includes you and Margie.

There are so many things we can gain from looking at Nicci’s answer. It is important to note that she places the word ‘genuine’ in front of friends. In a world that can see our connections limited to superficial ones, especially after Covid, having friends that are genuine and know the real us is priceless. Her definition of genuine friends is also included in her answer. “People who inspire, encourage and support you…” Fair weather friends can be a source of stress and not one of fulfillment. Fostering genuine friendships require a little work and often a willingness to be open and vulnerable. This can, understandably, be scary for some. The reward is a support system that can catch you when you fall in life. It can be those to encourage you when you feel like you can’t go on. They can bring you that source of inspiration when your life is caught in a rut. All of these will lead to a life that is certainly more fulfilling.

How do we establish and grow genuine friendships? Ironically, this is a skill we are actually better at as children than adults. If you look at the quote above, it states true friendship involves being understood and understanding. The first quality is to understand that life is both give and take. To gain a genuine friend is to be one. We must not enter a friendship thinking only what we can gain, but what we can give as well. As mentioned earlier, we must also be open to being vulnerable. This can be scary at first. Sharing our inner most thoughts and feelings. What if this person chooses to use them against us? What if they laugh, or think us crazy? This is why it is easier for children to make friends. They don’t really seem all that concerned about this happening. The truth is, neither should you. Yes, some people may hurt you and use things you tell them against you. That speaks more about them than about you at all. It is also a good way to weed out who is worth being a genuine friend and who is best left with a surface relation. A safe way is to share a little at a time. Slowly deepening the friendship.

Why do you think genuine friendship can lead to a fulfilling life? It certainly can. We have only touched on but a few of the benefits. What are the benefits of friendship that mean the most to you? How do you go about creating genuine friendships along with keeping the ones you have? Feel free to share all of your answers and ideas in the comments below. We would love to hear them!

PAY ATTENTION THIS WEEK! 😮

We have been advocating staying present on this site so much lately it runs the risk of becoming too familiar. Before you are tempted to dismiss this as just another post about living in the moment, I encourage you to read on. In sales, they tell you to speak about the benefits of a product before the features or the price. In other words, you paint a picture of how life will be better for your prospect before you tell them what they are getting. That is what we are doing with today’s post.

Have you ever had a day where despite challenges, you still seem to be feeling amazing and able to make it through the day with a smile? I am sure most of us have had a day like that. We have also had the opposite. Where even if things seem to be turning out well, we still don’t feel the amount of joy we should. How many of us stop and ask ourselves why this happens? Figuring out the question to this will help make our lives infinitely more full of joy, but how many of us actually do this? When we feel sick to our stomach we will spend the rest of the day analyzing what we ate to the smallest ingredient. Should we not to the same to what brings us joy?

It can be impossible to note every single detail that is occurring in our lives on the days we feel amazing. Not to mention, that would probably take a good deal of joy out of it. Instead, I will ask you to pay attention to just one detail – who you are around. They say you are the total of the 5 people you spend the most time with. If your life is not filled with as much joy as it could be, this might be a good spot to investigate. That is not saying it excuses our own behavior, but surrounding yourself with good people who appreciate your worth will make all of the difference.

This week, take a moment to notice how the people around you have you feeling. Are there people who just put a smile on your face being around them? There are people in my life that can have me smiling just thinking about them. That is why my screensaver is my lovely lady. Just thinking about her can bring a smile on my face. How about you? Who are the people in your life who make your life amazing just by being in it?

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THESE PEOPLE. 🫂

I had the pleasure of taking my beautiful lady out to lunch the other day and she inspired an interesting thought I would like to share with you. Right now, she is on a health and fitness journey. She has really been working hard changing her diet and making physical fitness a regular part of her life. Recently, her gym had her fill out a goal sheet for her immediate future. We were discussing what she wrote down, when she paused, took a deep breath, sighed and confessed, “I just do not want to be the least fit person in a group of people anymore.”

I admired her bravery and really getting in touch with her ‘why’. This, I am sure, will allow her to reach the goals she has set for herself. It reminded me of a joke. “If you want to look thinner, hang around people who are less thin than you.” Although this joke is old, and quite dated as you can see, it made me think how many of us do this. We tend to surround ourselves with people who are in our comfort zone. This is good for keeping the stress level low, but does not really push us to grow to a better version of ourselves, and can even stunt the growth when we do attempt it.

When you start to work on improving yourself, I notice there are people who get intimidated. There are many reasons for why this might be. If you suddenly go back to school, or start studying a certain subject you may hear things such as “Oh, trying to show off now?” If your friends like to binge watch Netflicks and eat pizza everyday and you start getting in shape, they may either tell you that you are spending too much time and the gym, or even make you feel guilty for being so. I think they do this because your improvement makes them uncomfortable about their own lack of improvement. There are also those who worry that if you improve too much, you might end up leaving them behind. This leaves them two choices. They can either level up their life, or try to pull you back to level down yours. I don’t have to tell you which choice most people make, even if it is subconsciously.

It is like the boiling crabs in a bucket story. If one crab is about to escape, the others pull them back in. does it help them? No. It certainly does not help our friendly crustation who almost had their freedom. Instead, you want to be part of a group that is constantly lifting each other up and helping each other reach new levels. Sometimes you might be the one doing the lifting, sometimes you might be the one being lifted. This includes both the emotional aspect, like in the first picture. As well as physically. Remember our example of getting in shape? As ironic as it sounds, our haters can often be of more help than our friends. If one of them see you slipping on your diet or workout routine, they will not only make sure to let you know about it, but everyone else as well. That is a good motivation to stay on track. It is also a good way to put your haters to work for you. Our well-meaning friends, on the other hand, might be more reassuring. Telling us things like, “It is ok if you just missed one workout.” or “Don’t be so hard on yourself for eating badly today.”

Take some time and think about the people you surround yourself with. Are they helping you become the best version of yourself? This can be supportive or motivating. We need both. Just make sure they are not holding you back from growing into the amazing person you know you can be. Look, self-improvement can occasionally be tough journey. We need all the help we can get. We certainly cannot have anyone making our journey more difficult.