Do not let the fact that it is Monday stop, or even intimate you. Discover what is holding you back from reaching your goals. Make that your enemy. Remember to focus on what you can control. Placing the blame on outside people and circumstances only puts you under their control and makes you weak.
The truth is most of the time it is not a lack of resources that stop you, but a lack of resourcefulness. Use those people and circumstances for motivation, not for excuses. Do not let them stop you. Find what you can do inside of you to improve your situation and move closer to your goals. You’ve got this!
Life isn’t as complicated as we sometimes make it. Take Monday for example. Here we are. The start of the work week. Most of what makes Monday so dreadful is a the psychology. We begin to dread the day the night before. The end of our weekend. Back to the grind.
What if we took a few steps to make Monday a lot more successful? The photo above is a great start. Stay focused on your goals. In other words, think of the big picture. Maybe you have a vacation coming up in a few months? Maybe you are saving up for a gift for someone you love. Think of everything your job allows you to do.
Next is keeping a positive attitude. That can be made a lot easier by thinking of what your job allows you to do. Would we rather be able to make money sitting on the beach? Sure, but the next best thing is to earn money to take that beach vacation. Not to mention keeping the lights and power on until then.
Lastly is work hard. I’ve said it before. Hard work cures a lot of ills. When you work hard you have little time to waste on petty drama so many worry about. When you work hard you earn your sleep. Hard work builds character and self-confidence.
This Monday, focus on your goals, stay positive and work hard. Friday will be here before you know it!
This picture is great! Obviously a point about focus. You may be thinking, like I was, “Not me! I appreciate what Ihave!” Then I took another look at the picture and thought what I would do if someone handed me a cake with one slice missing. What would you do? Can you imagine going to the store buying a cake with one slice gone? What about a slice of cake? A lot less, but if someone handed you a slice of cake, you would not ask where the rest of the cake went.
People are a little like the cake. Most are not as sweet, but the theory is the same. If someone shared a lot with you, but kept one part of their life secret, we would feel like we were missing something. Like the cake with a slice missing. Yet, if someone were to share just a little with us, we would feel like they were giving us something a little special. Just like a slice of cake.
I live with the most beautiful baker, trust me when I tell you I know a thing or 2 about cake! Whether we are given a little, or a lot with just one thing missing we should appreciate what we have. Changing focus will take us from expectation to appreciation! Imagine how that could change your life!
This quote could not be more accurate for the world today. Unlike any other time in history, there are so many distractions to keep us from focusing on our goals. As a writer I can tell you that this is true quite often. Usually, most of my writing is done in coffee shops. Today is a rare time in which I am writing from home. I do that for the simple reason that there are less distractions at the coffee shop. At home I look up and see household chores I am supposed to be doing. Maybe my beautiful lady walks by and I pause and appreciate how lucky I am. None of that exists at the coffee shop.
That is not to say that there are no distractions. I use my phone to do research on topics I am writing about on my laptop. As I am looking up something about how the subconscious mind works, I see that the Dalai Lama sent me a friend request. (This didn’t really happen, but would be cool) Suddenly I am scrolling through social media for several minutes. Then a man in a strange hat comes into the coffee shop and I pause to notice him. I glance to the parking lot to make sure some over-caffeinated soul does not back into my car. There are a million things that can take your attention away from your goal.
The secret is knowing this ahead of time and taking actions to block out the distractions. That could be plugging in your phone in the other room while you clean. It should be not texting while you are driving. You no doubt have your own examples. We need to see distractions for what they are – the enemy. We must take action like we would for any other enemy. We must be merciless. I can hear some of you saying, “But Neil, I need to take a break.” Well, how bad do you want the goal you are working towards? Understand the more you give into your distractions, the further away from your goal you are getting.
Make your goal a priority. My fourth book has been coming out for a while now. I must sit down and complete writing it. There are social events I will have to say ‘no’ to. Sleep might be a little less. Of course that will also be no time to see what uncle Fred has posted to his Facebook page. I would love to know what are some of the distractions that get to you the most and what ways have you found to help you stay focused. The more we share with each other, the more ideas we can have and the closer we will all be to living an amazing life.
This is an interesting thought. So many people are talking about gratitude and its power to change life. What is ironic is that most people have an interesting definition of what gratitude really is. This was brought home when I was listening to the audiobook, The Magic by Rhonda Byrne the other morning. She said how if people asked her years ago if she was a grateful person she would have told them that she was. Her justification for that answer is that she always thanked people for a gift, or for opening the door for her. When we speak of gratitude here, or when you hear about the power of gratitude, it is far more than that.
Despite what we may have been told growing up, or even what we think currently, thanking people when they do nice things for us is not living gratefully. It is actually just really good manners. There is nothing wrong with that. If we want to discover the true power of gratitude, it has to involve more than that. True gratitude cannot be conditional. A few posts back we discussed how I was choosing to focus on what I had to be grateful for in my life despite the challenges I have currently been experiencing. In doing so, it has help me feel good and enjoy my life so much more. That is the power of gratitude.
How about you? Are you only grateful when conditions give you something to be grateful for? Here is a secret. There is always a condition to be grateful for. Gratitude, like much of life, is a decision. When you want to feel grateful, just look around. There are so many things in our life that we take for granted that we should be so grateful for. Our health for one. Going to work on a Monday morning can be tough, but doing so with a cold is even tougher. We can dread work or be thankful we do not have to deal with a cold while working. Things like sanitation, communication, entertainment choices we have, clean water, a place to live and a million other things. One of the best ways to appreciate things you take for granted is to have them taken away from you. It is rare you will hear someone who used to be homeless complaining about the color of their kitchen walls.
Even in the terrible situation of losing something, we can be grateful that it is bringing to our attention things we might have taken for granted. Even that is something to be grateful for. Here is another secret to an amazing life. Feeling grateful feels amazing! The more we feel grateful, the better the quality of our life will be. Do yourself a favor and start to work on developing an attitude of gratitude today!
This picture reminds me of a couple of things. First is the fact that for the first time in 4 years, Margie and I will not be going on a nice tropical vacation. Saving for a wedding will do that. Second, and most important for our time together today, is the power behind focus. These people are on the same bus, yet they are focused on two very different scenes. That focus will go a long way to determining the quality of their journey. The same is true in our life. That is why the power of gratitude, and developing an attitude of gratitude is so important.
In my own life, this could not be more true right now. My 2025 has started with these events. My grandmother on my father’s side passed away. Then, I dislocated my shoulder. Shortly there after I got an ear infection. Recently, my younger cousin on my mother’s side passed away. Nobody even knew she was sick. Yesterday, I found out my aunt on my father’s side passed away. All that and it is only February. Not quite the start to the year I would have chosen, but here we are. I could focus on all of this and start to predict what a miserable year I was having. If we looked at the facts, I could be excused for thinking and saying so.
While all of those above facts are true, here is some other things that are true as well. With the passing of my one cousin, I have reconnected with another cousin. I was able to purchase a new car which has made not going on vacation a little more tolerable. My health has rebounded and with therapy I am getting better every day. My beautiful lady and I continue to make progress planning our wedding for next year. Finally, there are words typed out to start the fourth book I have been working on for years. With any luck, it will even be published later this year. These facts are also true and are what I am deciding to focus on.
This is not me being ignorant to the fact that there is a good amount of challenging circumstances that have occurred in my life so far this year. It is just that I am choosing to focus on the ones that reflect all the blessings and good fortune I am grateful enough to have. I am choosing to be like our friend in the bus looking out the window. Yes, it is a choice. What wrong is always available. What right is also available to focus on as well.
Some may view that as ‘sticking your head in the sand’ or ‘looking at the world through rose-colored glasses’. As if it were somehow cheating hardship. The opposite is the truth. It takes more work to look for and focus on the positive. Especially when there can be so much negativity and chaos occurring around you. Being able to say confidently, “Despite all I may be going through, I sure have a lot to be grateful for.” takes a lot of courage and resilience.
Remember the axiom, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” What we focus on determines how we feel. How we feel determines the quality of our lives.
There are several examples of this that we can look at. In 2024 we may have been hurt. We might have been knocked down. None of this could have been our fault. What we must focus on in the new year is what is our responsibility. That is our healing. There is a Latin phrase Amor Fati. It means the love of one’s fate. What we should strive for in the new year is accept what our situation is and learn how to make the best of it. We might not be where we want to be, but we must be honest about where we are. Not quite a best-selling author just yet? Good. You have a chance to learn more about the wonderful worldof book marketing. Perhaps your blog that is followed in over 200 countries is still not in Greenland? Great! There is still room to expand and goals to reach. These examples are purely hypothetical of course.
The point of all of this is to say that we must not curse our fate, but learn how we can improve it. Change our focus from our hurt to our healing. That is how we will make the best of the coming year. 365 days from now we can look back and be grateful for the healing we have experienced. We may still have hurt, we may still have struggle. By changing our focus from hurt to healing, we will be well on the path to inner peace and a more fulfilling life in 2025.
A few posts back we talked about how your mindset can turn a hell into a heaven and the other way around. It would seem that life sought to provide me a personal example. My 2024 Toyota Rav 4already has a bad sensor that needed to be replaced. They informed me when I made the appointment it would take roughly 30 minutes and I could wait. So, after my 10 hour work day I made my way to the dealer. Upon arrival, Iwas told it would now be a 2 hour affair as they had to check other parts as well.
A few things come to mind here. Of course after a 10 hour workday I could easily be irritated about having to wait 4 times as long as I was told. I could have brought a book or some other form of entertainment. I could have arranged a ride to go home and come back when it was done. All of this would be legitimate to think and feel. It would also lead to anunhappy and stressful evening.
Instead, I am going to look at and use this time constructively. I shall avail myself to the available coffee and snacks. I will use my cell phone to write this very blog you are reading now. Most importantly, I shall focus on the fact that I am so grateful to have the vehicleI do.
Both of these sets of facts are true. They both also come with an entirely different set of feelings. Would it be better if I had my laptop? Sure. It is far easier to write on that. Am I grateful that I can still write on my phone? Absolutely!
Life is full of choices. One of the most important is what we choose to focus on. As you can see, the difference can be between feeling stressed and feeling grateful. That may not seem like a big deal in the course of an evening. If you put enough of those evenings together, it is the difference between a negative and stressful life, or one where you choose to focus on gratitude and opportunities.
Have you ever read a great deal of negative news, or perhaps been a part of a very negative conversation? One so negative that you actually felt exhausted when it was over? That is because you have spent a great deal of your most valuable currency foolishly. We only have so much mental, emotional and spiritual energy. It can vary from day to day. Just like you have more physical energy on some days than you do on others. Maybe you didn’t sleep well? Maybe you have a physically exhausting job to tackle. The next day you may have gotten sleep, had an extra cup of coffee and are ready to go!
The same can be said for our emotional and spiritual energy as well. We only have a finite amount of it every day. Are we going to waste it on the negative news of the day? The sad part is that often we waste so much of our energy on the unfulfilling, that we are ‘energy bankrupt’ and unable to afford to give any attention to things that would fill our hearts with joy.
Mastering our attention does not mean being ignorant to the fact there are challenges in life. It is deciding how much of our energy and/ focus currency we are going to spend on them. It would be a good idea to use the 80/20 principle here. Spend 20% of our attention on the problem. Defining it clearly. Then, spend the remaining 80% of the time on possible solutions. It would be a great idea to start every morning giving our attention to something that feeds our soul. Read something from your faith. Find an inspirational website, such as the one you are currently reading. Begin each day giving attention to something positive. It would also be wise to devote your last bit of energy before sleep to something positive as well. This again could be reading something positive. It could also be keeping a gratitude journal, meditation or a host of other things. You will not only sleep more peacefully, you will wake up with more positive energy for the following day.
Think of this as you go throughout your day. Remind yourself you only have so much energy and focus currency. Ask yourself, “Is this really what I want to be spending my emotional currency on?” If not, acknowledge the issue and move along to something that makes your heart happier.
Before some well-meaning reader reminds me, I am fully aware that I used this quote in a post not long ago. No, I am not getting lazy on my mission to post inspiring content for 1000 days straight ( this is day 855) I am posting this quote again because this came up in conversation the other day. One of the wonderful things about having conversations in the self-improvement field is that there is always so much to learn. Even after over 2 decades in the field, I benefit tremendously by staying humble and keeping an open mind. The moment you think you know it all is the moment you cannot learn anything else.
Case in point, this quote. When I wrote about it last time, I used the example of someone who is multitasking. This is a great example as to why that is not a good idea. When we picture someone, even ourselves, trying to chase two rabbits at the same time, the visual is pretty hilarious. That is always how I viewed this quote. The person I was speaking with reminded me of the flipside. “I think it means that when you focus, you are more likely to ‘catch the rabbit'” they said.
What a great way of looking at this quote. It is a reminder of the power of focus, and the penalty of the lack of focus. Working together we had come to this conclusion! There were so many lessons to take away from this. If I had acted as if I knew everything there was to know in the self-improvement industry (which is impossible) than I would not have been open to hearing his great interpretation of this quote. If I had been stuck in my way of thinking I may not have rejoiced in seeing his. Working together we more than doubled the knowledge we took from this inspirational quote.
Keep your mind open and stay humble. Do not forget the power of focus and the penalty for not focusing.Remember, if we chase too many ‘rabbits’ at once we will catch none of them.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 