Remember that doing the right thing once in a while is not what will take you to the top. Want to get healthy? You don’t go to the gym, or workout once and then you are done. You need to show up and take care of your body every day. Want to improve your diet? It is not a faddiet, but improving your relationship with food that works.
These are obvious examples. If you think of other important areas of your life the same holds true. Want to be a better spouse? It is respecting and learning about your partner every day. It is showing up and working hard at it. Same with career. The same goes for self-improvement. It is showing up daily. Winning the daily battle against laziness and procrastination. Discipline is what will solve 80%of your problems
Today’s post will feature a deep dive into an answer to a question I posed to several friends and associates. The question was, “What, in your opinion, makes for a truly fulfilling life?” We will take a deeper dive into the answer featured in today’s post. This includes looking at how we can implement their ideas for fulfillment into our own life. This will allow all of us to wake up with a greater sense of inner peace and joy. If these answers inspire you, and you would like to share your own feeling on what makes life fulfilling, feel free to do so in the comments below. You could be featured in a future post or in my next book! Now let us take a look at today’s answer!
Today’s answer comes from my good friend Kurt. I’m not going to post his entire answer for the sake of brevity. His answer, like many Kurt will give, involves a great deal of thought. He is a man of many talents. Kurt is a DJ, an author and an entrepreneur. If you get a chance, I highly recommend his book, Nothing is Everything, which you can purchase on Amazon. I promise it will be both entertaining as well as enlightening. Just like a conversation with Kurt is.
Now for Kurt’s answer. He put fourth that in order to live a truly fulfilling life, one must remain true to yourself. Although, often with the best of intentions, others will advise you as to what makes a fulfilling life, you still must decide for yourself. While it is true that things such as gratitude, contributions, and appreciation for your friends and family are all good places to start,they are not what works for everyone.
When I asked the question “What makes for a fulfilling life?” I received many different answers. In fact, none of them were the same. They may have shared certain aspects with each other, but they were as unique as the people givingthem. Trying to feel fulfillment by using another person’s definition of the word is like trying to put a round peg in a square hole.
Yes, self-care is important. What that means to you can be as different as night and day to your neighbor, your friends, or even your spouse. A personal exampleis Margie and me. When I need self-care I head to the gym or out in nature for a vigorous hike. These things she views as a stressful chore. Her, on the other hand, likes to go shopping, often at stores filled with people. This is something I find stressful.
Telling Margie to go to the gym to relax just because that works for me makes no more sense than me going to a crowded store to go shopping. That is just fine. It is important to realize that staying true to ourselves, our priorities, and our inner nature arevital to living afulfilling life.
How about you? Have you ever found yourself trying to be fulfilled in something that someone else, or society, has told you that you should find fulfillment in? Have you discovered that didn’t work for you? Did it make you feel like something might have been wrong with you? It is time to throw that thinking and those feelings of guilt in the trash. Find fulfillment in your own unique way. Your source of fulfillment is as special and individual as you are!
A few months ago I hired a personal trainer at my gym. About a month ago, she quit. Hopefully that is no reflection on me as a client. A new trainer, Mia, was assigned to me. Being very thorough, she sat down with me to better understand me and my fitness goals. One of the questions she asked was what my favorite piece of equipment was at the gym. After some deep reflection, I answered her honestly and said “The massage bed is great.”
After a chuckle between us, I answered with a few machines. Here is the lesson in this. The massage bed is great. Helps you relax and feel good. This is true of so many things in life. The help us feel comfortable. The other machines at the gym wear you out and can leave you sore for days. Just like challenges in life. Many things we do will be uncomfortable and could even hurt mentally, emotionally, or even physically long after the event is over.
Why even bother with any of that? Why not stick to only things that are easy and comfortable? In one word, growth. What kind of shape would I be in if the only machine I used at the gym was the massage bed?Sure I would be comfortable at the time, but when the time came to do anything physical, I would be no better off and may even be worse. Using the machines that cause momentary discomfort will allow our muscles to grow and be better in the future.
This is also the way it works in life. If we only stick to things that make us comfortable we will be no stronger of a person when challenges come. In fact, we may even be weaker. It is not fun to have that difficult conversation or make those tough decisions. It is easier to stay in bed than get up to go to work or clean the house. Still, it makes our life easier in the long term. Think of this next time you have to decide on your favorite discomfort.
Over 2 decades in the self-improvement field. Over 2 decades as a self-improvement author. Over 2 decades writing this blog. Over a decade with my YouTube channel. These facts not only make me feel a little old, but show me I have been doing this a very long time. I have given seminars in some of the strangest places. There have been countless books read, seminars attended, podcasts listened to, and conversations had. There continues to be as learning should be a life-long endeavor.
The most popular question I get whether at a book signing, a seminar or even an impromptu conversation in a men’s room is, “What is the best thing I can do to improve my life.” In my second book, Living the Dream, I devote a whole section to what I personally feel is the best activity you can do to change your life. In my many years of experience and in my own life it was what has worked the best. That is developing an attitude of gratitude. What way is the best to do that? Is it a gratitude journal? Is it gratitude affirmations? Is gratitude really better than goal setting or visualization? The answer is the same activity you would use if you were looking to get in shape, lose some weight, improve your relationship or just about anything else in life.
Regardless of the area of your life you wish to improve, the activity you should use is the same. Are you on the edge of your seat? Wondering what this activity is? Personal trainers, life coaches and others will back me up on this. The activity you should use to improve your life is the one you enjoy the most. Take fitness for an example. Squats are one of the best exercises for improving your body. If you committed to doing squats, but did not like them, how long would you stick with it? A month? A week? Maybe only until the soreness kicks in. Taking a walk with your spouse after dinner is not as impactful as a few sets of squats a day. If you enjoy doing that and stick with it for a year, it will have a far greater impact than doing a week of squats and then quitting.
We began this conversation talking about self-improvement. The same holds true here too. Maybe you do not like keeping a gratitude journal. If you do it for a week and quit you are not likely to see a great impact. Maybe saying what you are grateful for out loud is better for you? If you do that for a month you are far likely to see an impact. Next post we will look at an additional way to develop an attitude of gratitude. What if gratitude just isn’t your thing? What if you would rather create a vison board? Maybe you like meditation? Then do those things. If there is something you enjoy, you are more likely to stick with it. The longer you do, the greater impact it will have in your life.
There you have it. The best self-improvement tool is the one you like the most and are most likely to stick with.Whatever that may be. Again, personally I think gratitude is super powerful, but I would rather see you engaged in an activity that works for you. If you are interested in developing an greater sense of gratitude in your life but you haven’t found something that really works for you, come back next post where we look at a way that makes gratitude almost automatic! Feel free to share what is the self-improvement activity you enjoy the most in the comments below!
As soon as I heard this quote, it became one of my new favorites! You think of all these people on squat racks lifting insane amount of weight. You think of men with huge arms doing bicep curls. Still, the heaviest and hardest weight at the gym is the front door. Not literally. Most are made of lightweight material. I believe the doors at my gym are mostly glass. It is the heaviest because actually opening the door and beginning your workout is one of the most difficult things to overcome. It reflects the law of motion. An object at rest tends to stay at rest. To overcome that urge to stay on the couch takes a great amount of effort.
This is something to keep in mind when you are either starting to workout, or like me, working to stay consistent. There is not all bad news. The other part of the law of motion states An object in motion tends to stay in motion. Meaning, once you get into a disciplined routine of fitness and healthy eating, it becomes easier to maintain. It is in overcoming that initial resistance that most of the work will be required. As you get in shape, staying there is easier than getting there. Climbing the mountain is a lot more difficult than staying at the top.
Keep this in mind as you begin your fitness journey. Once you tackle the weight of the front door, the weights inside the gym will become a lot easier.
This picture says a lot. In today’s world, everyone is looking for a quick fix. The latest trend is weight loss injections. No doubt there is some benefit for those whose weight is causing a health emergency, but that is not who seems to be the majority of who is taking it. As a society we are looking for a quick fix. Nobody wants to spend months adjusting their behavior and eating style. Why would you when there is a shot you can take that will do it for you? There are several very important reasons. Let us take a look at a few.
One of the main reasons is the complications these medications can create. There are now stories of individuals suing the makers of these drugs because they will no longer be able to eat regular food, as in the rest of their life. I am sure these cases of negative reactions are far and few between, but that is too much of a risk for me to take. Another reason is what you fail to gain by taking the ‘easy way out’. It takes discipline, control over our own urges and emotions to change our diet and lifestyle. Gaining control over our minds when it comes to eating healthy and being consistent in our workouts will transfer positively into the rest of our lives. You could be more disciplined at work. You could control your emotions in your relationship. These benefits would serve you well.
Lastly, there is the feeling of accomplishment. Engaging in the above discipline will give us something to be proud of. The inner health we accomplish through the discipline of fitness on a consistent level is something to be proud of. Where as taking an injection has both risks, and little in return of health and feelings of accomplishment.
In any endeavor, there is the easy way to get ahead and there is the right way. Very rarely are these two things the same. You could see some benefits when it comes to taking the easy way, but that is usually in the short term and at a cost. Doing things the right way may seem more difficult and take much longer, but what you gain and who you become is what makes all the difference.
Continuing the video series I did promoting local businesses, we check out Peak Physique. Run by a gentleman named Ricky who was recently voted best trainer in Milwaukee by Shepherd Express magazine.
This video not only explores the business, but the man and his motivation. If you would like to learn a little about fitness, the city or just watch 2 charming gentleman banter back and forth, I highly suggest you click the link below to watch the video.
These are the two jobs we all have. Our lives should be dedicated to improving ourselves, and to contribute to the happiness of others, which you are doing just by getting the information here on this site. We give you the tools and strategies to accomplish both of these. Here is another amazing secret, by doing either of these, you are closer to accomplishing the other. Let us take a look at what we mean.
First is improving our lives. It is important to keep moving ahead. Why? The reason is that nothing stays stagnant. We are either moving ahead, or falling behind. This is true in any area of our life. Fitness for example. If we get in shape and think to ourselves, “I am in shape. Now I can stop exercising and just eat pizza and ice cream all day.” I am sure you can imagine what would happen. Another are which people constantly need reminding of is relationships. We somehow believe if we court someone, marry them and maybe even start a family, that we have this area of our life ‘handled’. Much like physical fitness, the fitness of your relationship will start to decline if you do not constantly work on that. The only way to improve your relationship, is to improve yourself. Learn to become more romantic. Learn to be a better listener. This holds true for every area of our life. Career, spirituality, and education. Obviously, the better of a person we become, the more we are able to serve others. We can see how that would help contribute to their happiness.
Speaking of contributing to other’s happiness, how does that help improve us? By finding ways in which we can add more happiness to the lives of others, we often have to learn, or at least practice, certain skills. This will only help us level up in our own lives. At the very least, we are able to practice our own interpersonal skills. That is how to relate to others. Especially in a world where far too much of our relationships are online, this is a skill that could use some polishing.
There you have it. Two jobs that compliment and help feed each other. If we focused exclusively on these two tasks, our world would improve exponentially. Do yourself a favor and ask if the action you are about to take would either help improve you, or add happiness to the life of another. If not, is it a good use of your energy?
Great advice from one of history’s greatest thinkers. It aligns with one of the principles I teach. That is you should focus on adding the positive rather than eliminating the negative. There are several reasons you should do this. The main one is that is changes your focus from a feeling of sacrifice, to one of accomplishment. Take healthy eating for example. If your entire focus is “How can I stop eating all the bad for me food I love?” That sure feels, and sounds if we are being honest, like you are sacrificing or ‘giving something up’. That makes it feel difficult. If you ask yourself, “How can I add healthy and delicious meals to my meal plan?” That sounds as if you are adding something to your life.
Weight loss is another example. Thinking “I have to lose all this weight.” Certainly does not sound fun or like something we would look forward to doing. However, “How can I live a more active and healthy lifestyle that I enjoy?” sounds a lot better. Instead of thinking of grueling hours in the gym and fad diets, it will have us thinking of bike rides or walks with the family and discovering new healthy dishes. This may sound like splitting hairs on the subject, but it results in an entirely different reality.
Which lifestyle do you think you would be more likely to maintain, one of sacrifice or one of building? One that makes you feel like you are losing or lack something, or one that feels like you are gaining something or building towards a new and exciting future?
The point of this quote should be obvious. In case it is not, let me expand on it. The more we prepare, the better we will be when faced with a challenge. This really holds true across all areas of life. If we save money, or work to create a good side-hustle, we will be prepared for any financial challenge that may arise. If we work on our health and fitness, we will be better prepared for a challenge in that arena. This came in handy for me when I needed immediate open-heart surgery. The doctor telling me, “If you hadn’t been in such good shape, we would not be having this conversation.” Some good food for thought there. Had I waited to take care of my health until I was told that I had a problem, you might not be reading this.
The common theme through all of these is that if you work on yourself, you will be better prepared to take on any challenge in life. One of the more interesting ones that many of us may not think of is our spirituality. Whatever your faith may be, even if that is faith in yourself, it needs to be fostered and grown. The more you do so, the more you will be ready to face life’s toughest challenges. Many times it is difficult to find the motivation to do what needs to be done in our lives. It is the work we put in when nobody is watching that not only allows us to face challenges, but to grow into the best version of ourselves.
Every second of training and preparation we do, is less damage we will incur when we face a challenge. Trust me when I tell you, face a challenge we all will. You never know when life will test you. The better prepared you are, the more likely you are to pass that test.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 