Even those of us who enjoy the gym often have a hard time getting there. I heard a quote once, “The heaviest weight at the gym is the front door. ” Meaning that getting to the gym is the hardest part. I can agree on this point. I love working out. It reduces my stress and provides me energy. After an 8 hour work day, it still takes all the convincing I have to get myself there.
Why, if I know and enjoy all the benefits, do I still have to argue with myself to go? It has a great deal to do with mindset. Looking at the gym as something we have to do instead of something we get to do. So many people who are physically unable to workout would love to trade places with us.
Dick Van Dyke has a great outlook here. It has served him well and can do the same for us. How about you? When you face having to do something you don’t want, what is your attitude about it? Do you have to go to work, or are you grateful for being employed? Do you have to pay your bills or are you grateful you have the funds to do so?
To some this may seem like a small difference, but it will make a big impact on how your life feels and how productive it will be. What is your favorite hack to improve your mindset?
After working on being grateful for these last 28 days, this is a fun one. What small thing happened today that you are grateful for? It is a million little things. That is the idea behind taking a month and being grateful for something different each day. Just last post we looked at the things we use daily that we are grateful for. Without which we would be terribly inconvenienced. In that post we thought of several you could be grateful for before you even leave the house. A toothbrush, clean water, deodorant. After I wrote that post, my mother mentioned a toilet. It sure is a lot more convenient than having to walk out to an outhouse. This is true especially when the temperature falls below freezing.
The question remains. What small thing happened to me that I was grateful for? It was a moment that occurred just before I began writing this blog. As I was waiting for my computer to boot up, my screen saver popped up. It is a picture of my lovely lady and I in Jamaica. I thought of how we will be there again soon. I also thought of all the fun we are going to have. How grateful I am to have her in my life. “It really is a good day.” I thought to myself. I have just returned from a workout with my mother. She joined my gym and will be continuing her fitness journey. That was really a great time we had. The sun is shinning and the weather is unseasonably warm today. That makes me very happy and grateful.
Looking at any of these things, one may not think they are that important, but together they make for a great day. Having that moment where you feel so happy, content and blessed before you even start writing is an awesome situation to be in. It is that moment, and all of the moments that went into creating it, that I am most grateful for today. All that and the day is not even halfway over! What about you? Is there a little thing that happened to you that you are grateful for today?
I am going to ask you a few questions. Stick with me as I think we will both learn a lot through our answers. I found this chart really helpful with my gym and workouts. After a full body workout, the next day you may feel like you may be able to lift a small car, but struggle to get off the toilet because it was leg day. Looking at this chart, does it not make sense that different muscles in the body take different time to recover? They are different shapes, and involved in different processes in the body.
Sticking with this idea, would it make sense to you that they may recover quicker after some workouts than others? How about the time to recover may be different from person to person? My muscles tend to recover rather quickly. Margie 2 days after a workout might need assistance picking up her cell phone. Our bodies and the way they react after a workout differ. Some days I am ready to go the next day. Other days it takes me a while. Does that make sense to you? To recap, different muscles recover at different rates. On any given day they may recover quicker or slower. Muscle recovery not only varies from muscle to muscle and day to day, but certainly from person to person. This all seems pretty logical right?
While this seems to make sense with muscles, let me ask you another question. How long does it take to recover from the end of a relationship? How about the loss of a job? The loss of a loved one? I often use fitness as a way to show different aspects of self-improvement as they are very similar. We never think there is something wrong with us because it took us a little longer to recover from a workout than it did last time. We never feel less than because Bob or Betty recovered from their leg day better than we did. Why should it be any different when it comes to how we recover from a personal tragedy?
One last thought on this. When we have had a particularly tough workout, we are not afraid to use tools or ask for help in our recovery. That could be those glorious massage beds at the gym, consuming some protein or a simple pain pill. When we need to recover from life we feel like we cannot ask for help, or we do not use any tools to help us recover. Many of us do not even have any tools or strategies that could help us. You would not workout without a plan for recovery. Why would you go through life without one?
My point is this – just as muscles recover different, so do people. Just like it can take us longer to recover after some workouts than others, life can be tougher to tackle sometimes. When we are having problems recovering from a workout we go for a massage or take some type of pain pill. We may even ask for some advice from a personal trainer. The same should be true when we are struggling to recover from what life throws at us. Maybe we need to take a day off or indulge in some self-care. We may even reach out for help to a friend or therapist. This should make us feel no different than needing help after a tough workout.
Last post we took a long hard look at our view of discipline and how it can be sabotaging our success. If you did not have a chance to read that, may I strongly suggest that you go back to take a look. Today we are going to look at a somewhat broader category of how we view life in general. It will not only give you the motivation to get more done, but make life a lot more enjoyable. Especially the struggles we all have to go through on our journey of self-improvement.
When we are looking to purchase something, the first question many of us ask is, “What will this cost?” This makes sense. We need to understand how much of our funds, time or effort will this item cost. Is there a more economical option? If so, we generally will gravitate towards that. This holds true for most material things. Then why do any of us buy a diamond ring? Surely there are cheaper options. When I asked my beautiful lady to marry me, I could have got the ring out of a gumball machine. Despite what I told her, that is not what happened. Before we answer why we often purchase more expensive items, let us look at some other examples.
Think of effort. There are things that take a great deal of effort. Working out to get in shape. That takes a lot of effort. Who would want to do that? There are gyms that are always busy though. Speaking of gyms, after the new year they are usually even busier. By February, they are back to their usual amount of people. Why? This can be answered with the mindset we will be discussing. How about healthy eating? How many people start with the best intention and end up with a face full of tacos? Think of projects we begin with great enthusiasm. Maybe a house renovation or even a relationship? Only to find our house the same or with one less person in it.
How can we work to improve success in all of those endeavors and why do we sometimes purchase more expensive items when there are cheaper ones readily available? The picture above does an amazing job of answering that question. Here is how to both increase your chances of success in life as well as making it less stressful. How does that sound for a great equation? Greater success and less stress getting it? Making it through that hard workout without throwing in the towel, literally and figuratively? Will you still be hyperventilating and sweating like a high schooler on exam day? Sure, but you will be doing so with a smile on your face and a determination to stick with it. This will not only help you say ‘no’ to the free doughnuts in the breakroom and stick to your healthy eating goals, but whatever resolution you make on New Year’s Eve or any other day as well.
This change in mindset will also help free you from spending time on things that are not really important to you. The mindset change simply involves asking yourself one different question. Instead of asking yourself “What will this cost me?” switch to asking yourself “What is this worth to me?” In addition to focusing on the destination, it gives purpose to the goal. When you are on the treadmill and your lungs feel like they are about to explode, are you thinking about the pain and discomfort? Most of us are. That is why it is so hard for people to stick with a fitness plan. The next time they are going to the gym they are thinking of everything it is going to cost them. The drive there. The discomfort of their muscles as they are working out. The soreness they will experience after. If you are focused on all of these things, you will not make it long-term.
Now, if you ask yourself, “Is good physical fitness worth it to me?” That will lead to a different focus. Is it worth it to be able to keep up with your kids or grandkids? Is it worth it to be able to go up a flight of stairs without the aid of a team of sherpas and a liter of oxygen? Are the sore muscles worth being able to stand for long periods of time without your back feeling like it is going to break in two? Is the stigma of being the oldest person in the gym worth not being the youngest person in the nursing home?
That is the fitness example. It is pretty straight forward and easy to understand. Here is something a little trickier and more sensitive. It works the same in your relationships. When you think of a relationship there is lots of work involved. This is especially true if you want a deep and successful one. Is it worth sacrificing your happiness for that of your partner or the relationship on occasion? Is having awkward and difficult discussions to establish rules and borders within the relationship? How about the disagreements when you have opposing values? When you focus on these things, staying single seems like a better option.
Now ask yourself questions about worth. Is it worth it to have a person to always come home to? Is it worth it to have someone who often understands you better than you understand yourself? Is having someone you know will always have your back? How about love that will grow and continue to teach you about yourself and life in general? Having someone to wrap your arms around on a cold winter night, is that worth it to you? If it is, you will gladly suffer the costs if you continue to focus on the value and worth of the relationship.
In some of these cases the honest answer may be ‘no’ and that is ok. It would be better for us to know this at the onset. If you tell yourself “I am going to start working out in the new year.” Ask yourself how much is being physically fit worth to you? Is it worth the challenges you will have to overcome? If not, it may be better for you to focus on a goal that is more in line with your value.
Do not take my word on this. Try it for yourself. Trade focusing on cost to focusing on worth and see how much more determination and discipline you will find yourself having. It will also help reduce the stress going through these challenges knowing how much the payoff is worth to you.
The last couple of posts we have been discussing being the light in the darkness and appreciating the present with love and gratitude. One of the challenges of this is when we are focused on our own self-improvement, it can come with a lot of growing pains. What we must do is realize that these growing pains are a blessing. Remember we cannot have growing pains without…well…growth!
Think of when you are working your hardest to overcome a negative habit. It can be so deflating at times. You promise yourself, and maybe even those closest to you, that you are going to the gym regularly. Before you know it, a week has passed and you find yourself “too busy” to focus on your health. Maybe it is your diet that you are working on fixing. As you are enjoying your second free doughnut in the breakroom, you are so upset with yourself. You could even mutter, “It is no use. I will never be able to beat these cravings.”
What many of us fail to realize is that these moments of disappointment in ourselves are signs that we are getting better. The fact that our perceived ‘failures’ are making us doubt ourselves, are signs that our goal has become more important to us. Celebrate the fact that you are feeling more pain at straying from your goal. Then, go on to use that disappointment in yourself as fuel to better your life. Next time you say no to the doughnuts in the breakroom, or go to the gym when you say you are going to, celebrate yourself. acknowledge that you have taken a step towards becoming a better you. Next time you drop the ball and disappoint yourself, remember the fact that you are experiencing growing pains is a blessing. You are growing and it is not always easy, but you are taking a step in the right direction.
People are looking for the secret to an amazing life. That is the purpose of this website. Part of an amazing life is keeping your mood up. Doing so with pharmaceutical products leads to side effects and other undesirable aspects.
Working out not only outperformed many of these products, but it also helps you physically. A two-for-one if you like. Certainly every form of therapy has its purpose, but if you can take one actin that will help you in many ways, why not do it?
If you have read any of my books or have followed this blog for any amount of time, you know that I often use fitness to describe certain aspects of personal development. That is because improving your physical body shares many of the same skill requirements as improving yourself as a person. It also serves up many of the same lessons. As we struggle on the journey we develop character. The same is true in the world of self-improvement. In both, nobody can do it for you. You can‘t pay someone to workout for you and expect the results. Just as you can’t buy that self-improvement book, or even attend that course, and expect any result if you are not willing to put in the work.
What do you get from all of this hard work? In a word – respect. Not only respect from others, but respect from yourself! Even long before you reach your fitness goals, you respect yourself and your efforts. The same is true with self-improvement. It is the act of improving ourselves that gives us self-respect. It is a lifelong journey. Everyday that we work on becoming the best versions of ourselves, whether that is physical or with our character, we earn respect for ourself. That is why we must endeavor to improve. Let us use this to keep us motivated when times are tough.
Here is another post about freedom. It is the freedom that is controlled by the power of our thoughts. Listening to some motivational content the other morning, I heard a good description of this freedom. The gym is a place a lot of people dread going or find like their are ‘forcing themselves’ to go to. The ironic aspect is that most of the people who feel this way are the people who are reasonably healthy and working to get better. If you find someone who has experienced a major health challenge such as a heart attack or a form of cancer and they realize that the gym offers them the freedom of a healthier lifestyle. It not only allows them the freedom of better mobility and energy, but quite often the freedom of being alive.
On the opposite end of the spectrum are people for which it is too late to attend the gym. Maybe they let their health slide to a point they are no longer able to be mobile, or even worse. If you would give them a chance to go back in time to go to the gym and reclaim their life, they would jump at the chance to do so. If you are constantly chasing pleasure, you have become its slave.
Quite often, the difference between prison and opportunity exists in our minds. Take your job, for example. Many people feel as if they are in prison when they are at work. Studies show that 87% of people dislike their jobs. A simple shift in mindset could great assist us in this matter. If we realize what our jobs afford us to do. With them we can pay our bills to have a roof over our heads, the lights on and food on the table. Another great way to turn our prison into opportunity is to attach a bigger meaning than a simple paycheck to what we do. When I worked more directly with the public at my day job, I focused on bringing as much joy and encouragement to everyone I came in contact with. Knowing I was doing more than earning a paycheck, I was blessing lives, made going to work a lot more enjoyable. This mentality is one that everyone who works with the public should adopt. Judging by some of the service I have received lately, it is one many choose not to. Viewed simply, you have to be there because you are getting paid. The customer has to be there because they need your good or service. Why not make it the most fun the interaction can be? It will be far more enjoyable for both of you.
Whether it is working out, or working, your mentality has a lot more to do with your situation than even the facts do. Look for the opportunity in every situation and your life will never be the same.
We like to share secrets to amazing relationships on this site as well. This should be no surprise as relationships are one of the things that can have the greatest impact on your life. Nowhere is this more true than your romantic relationship. The romantic partner you choose in life can have a greater impact on the success or failure of your life than almost any other choice you make. How you take care of this relationship will make all of the difference.
The first order of business is to understand that the fitness of your relationship is very much like the fitness of your body. It is never ‘handled’. What would happen if you got into the best shape of your life and then stopped working out and started eating all of the junk food you could find? In no time flat, all of your efforts would be in vain. The same is true for your relationships. If you work to achieve a loving, caring and growth-minded relationship and then stop working at it, soon you will not have that relationship anymore.
Here is another ‘secret’. When you are first starting to workout, it is extremely hard. You must put in a lot of work upfront. It can be very difficult to develop a discipline to engage in physical activity on a regular basis. I heard a quote that said the heaviest weight at the gym is the front door. That is so true. Once you are at the gym, working out is a lot easier to do. Dedicating the time and getting to the gym is where the struggle is. The same when you are first working on growing your relationship. There is a lot to learn. There will be fights. Both of you will say and do the wrong things. You will forget to say and do the right things. Setting up and dedicating time and effort to work on your relationship can often be where the difficultly lies.
Here is some good news, both for fitness and relationships. Once you get into shape, it takes a lot less effort to stay there than it did to get there. Although, you must put in the effort just the same as we discussed above. In a relationship, once you learn how to develop a loving and healthy relationship with your partner, it is a lot easier to maintain and grow than it was to get there. Once again, you must put in the effort just the same. Just as you will continue to discover new things about health and fitness, you will do the same about relationships. You will also experience challenges in both. I cannot count the times I was on a roll at the gym and then got an injury or illness. It is hard to keep that discipline and often start over. Same in love. You will have a long period of love and romance when it seems nothing could come between your hearts. Then, a disagreement pops up out of nowhere.
It is important to learn from these. When you get injured at the gym, it might be form or perhaps a muscle that needs special attention. When there is a difficulty in a relationship, there may be some communication that needs to be cleaned up, or affection that needs to be redefined. Both of these situations, as humbling as they are, provide us an opportunity to come back stronger. We can make sure they happen less frequently and with less severity as time goes on. We can also walk away with additional knowledge we did not have before.
As a side note, this is not the post I sat down to write at all. Therefore, there will be more relationship secrets in the next post!
I belong to a lot of fitness pages online. They serve a great purpose. People sharing their journeys of accomplishing their goals. Emotional and encouraging support for one another. As well as knowledge in regards to the world of health and fitness
One of the things they do is have a day for people to show off the hard work they have put in. In other words, to literally flex their muscles. To me, fitness is a great accomplishment. It shows a discipline that only hard work can accomplish. It involves sacrifice, strong will and dedication. As Zig Ziglar said, “You can’t pay anyone to do your push-ups for you.”
There are some people online who think that wealth and material gain are the ultimate flex. If done ethically, this can be a great accomplishment to be proud of as well. It can show intelligence, hard work and saving. It is still, however, not the ultimate flex.
This, my friends, is the ultimate flex. Making lives better. Inspiring others and giving them a sense of hope and encouragement. In a world that seems to be telling us that we are not enough, how valuable is it to hear what a difference you make?
One of the most powerful ways to change the world is to just be kind. I realize at first blush this may sound new-age, or even weak to many of you. Far from it. In a world often filled with insults, sarcasm and negativity, how brave is it to stand up and encourage and genuinely compliment someone?
By changing lives and inspiring others to become the best versions of themselves, we are not only doing good by those souls, but by the world at large. By not only encouraging others to be all they can be, but giving them space and permission to be so! You want to impress the world? Show us how many people you have positively impacted. How many lives have you changed for the better?
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 