Tag: encouragement

GPS AS A MOTIVATOR?

There are so many times that every day life gives us keys to an amazing life we often miss. This is one of them. Yes, I realize that GPS is a machine. It does not have emotions. It does not overthink. Do you know what it also does not do? Give up! Can you imagine if we did one thing that our GPS does? Whenever life, or our plans, do not work out the way we planned, say out loud, “Recalculating route!”. You may think you look a little crazy, people may laugh at you. Laugh with them! This is a great way to remind ourselves that a change in route is not a failure, but an adjustment. We can still get to our destination, it may take longer. We may need a different route. We will still get there.

Can you imagine if GPS acted like us sometimes? We are running late and encounter a closed road and our GPS just says, “You’re screwed. Your day is over.” How about if we take a wrong turn and our GPS says, “You are an idiot! Why did you do that?” No. It just recalculates how to get there. It takes in account we did not take the way initially planned and make adjustments. You think you have found the perfect life partner and they turn out to by a lying loser? Yes, that sucks. Just walk away and say, “Recalculating route.” Lose the job you thought you would retire from? It can be a very difficult set back. There is no doubt about that. Say “Recalculating route!” and brush up that resume!

Life is not always easy. There are challenges. A cute saying like this does not fix them. What it can help us realize is that life is not over, it is just taking a different route. Next time you hear your GPS utter this familiar phrase, smile to yourself and know that life is much like a unplanned detour on a car trip. Recalculate your route and enjoy the journey!

IF YOU CAN’T BE KIND, BE QUIET

Today is Monday. Regardless of what day you have found this post on, this is a good rule to follow. In a society that wants to be noticed, many people feel the need to say something. Sadly, many of these people say things that are sarcastic, rude or just mean. None of them need be said. We all have days where we are feeling less than optimal. It could have been a lack of sleep, feeling under the weather or just irritated. Whatever the reason, we do not feel social. In this case, it is ok to just be quiet. If you come across someone who is normally social and they tell you they are not up to it, they might just be following this rule.

Taking this up a notch, run what you are about to say through this filter. It even has a nice, handy acronym. If what you are about to say does not fit at least one of these metrics, hopefully more, than it is not really worth saying. If you still feel compelled to speak, than spend some time coming up with something that is one of the above. Let us focus less on being heard and more on providing something worth hearing.

WHAT MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE

Changing the world is a goal for so many people. “I sure wish the world was more ____.” We hear so many people say. It seems like an out of reach goal, but really it is not. A big change is many little changes put together. If you just kept your yard in order, that really wouldn’t change too much. Let us say all of your neighbors did the same thing. Suddenly, the neighborhood is transformed. All of you did only one little thing, yet put together it transformed an entire neighborhood. This is how it works on a global scale as well. We may think what we do is too small to make a difference. If everyone who thought that acted anyway, it would make a global difference.

How about you? Are there small acts of kindness or action that you could take? This works especially well in interpersonal relations. One smile to a stranger can have a ripple effect with everyone they meet as well. This can continue on and on transforming many lives by sharing just one smile. In addition, a simple act of kindness can save a life. Have you ever thought of that? That stranger you smile at could be hanging on by a thread. They can be feeling that nobody cares. Your simple act of kindness can give them the hope they need to make it through one more day. In this way, you will touch the lives of so many.

Another great thing about small acts of kindness is there is never a wrong time to do them. One thing that can seem dispiriting is when someone is under a great deal of stress and you strive to say or do something kind and it seems to fail to make an impression. At the time, it may seem like it has no effect. Often, it takes a while to sink in. You may not be around to see the effect of your kindness. That does not mean it is still not worth doing. It would be great if we could all see the effect of the good we put into the world, but we do not have that luxury. If you want to see the effect, look inside. What I mean by that is think of how the good people have done has affected your life. You may not have reacted right away, especially if you are stressed at the moment. It may have occurred to you much later. A feeling of gratitude might have overcome you later. It was still a wonderful feeling, wasn’t it?

Always do what good you can, where you can do it. You may think it will not make a difference. It may seem small to you. When all of the small acts of good and kindness are put together, that is what changes the world. The more of them we do, the quicker the world will change.

LET US POSTPONE NOTHING!

There is a cliche that says, “If you live each day like your last, one day you’ll be right.” That is uncomfortably true. As we have discussed numerous times on this site, the funny thing about death is that it seldom calls ahead. Even if you know you the end is near, you are often in a comprised state unable to fulfill all of your desires.

Keeping this in mind, it would be wise for us to start living this way today. There are things that take energy, vitality and time that we should begin today. If you wait until the grim reaper sends you a telegram, it can often be too late.

An added bonus to living this lifestyle is that it brings peace of mind. When you are living life to the fullest, and know it, it is far easier to lay your head on the pillow at night. How about you? Are you living life to the fullest? Are you going to face your end with peace or with regret?

BEAUTY IN THE NEAR DARKNESS

Most of you know I leave for work at 4am. On Monday this follows a night of being a DJ that has me home around 1am. That’s a tough turnaround. I have a fairly long commute. Going on 2 hours of sleep it can be difficult to maintain a grateful and positive attitude on occasion.

There are, however, many things that are a beautiful observation should I pay attention. The sun just beginning to rise this time of year created the amazing image above. That one you can’t help but notice. There are a few that are a little more subtle, but just as heartwarming.

About halfway to work I drive down a more secluded and quiet street. I enjoy the lack of stoplights, and the wildlife. One other thing I at every morning is an elderly couple going for their morning walk. They hold hands and look so loving. I hope to be doing the same with my lovely lady when we reach their age.

The point is, even with 2 hours of sleep heading in to a 9 hour workday, there are still plenty of things to make me smile. The only requirement is to be on the lookout for them. How about you? What are some of the things you are grateful for every morning?

FRIENDS FROM ACROSS THE POND

On our most recent trip to Jamaica, the best souvenir that Margie and I brought home was the new connections and friendships that we returned home with. It is one of these I wanted to discuss with you today.

While lounging at the swim-up bar, we overheard a conversation between a lively British couple. The young lady, Bronte, was discussing some heroic acts that her husband Tom had engaged in to allow her to stay sober on an excursion they had embarked on. It ended being a comical affair that involved a shower and a towel as a pillow.

As we engaged in conversation with this wonderful couple, we discovered they were enjoying their honeymoon. In the course of routine conversation we learned enlightening things I would like to share with you.

Bronte informed us she used to be a nurse with a lot of experience in end-of-life care. Inquiring why she no longer was, she shared a story that was both sad and enlightening. Bronte explained that she was an empathetic person and really enjoyed connecting with her patients. Even though she knew their time was short, she wanted them to know someone cared. This made the passing of these people rather hard on her. She told us Tom would routinely pick her up and find her in tears. An example of how important it is to have a supportive spouse.

Despite the difficulties of this, she wanted to stay and bring compassion to her patients even if it cost her some emotional distress. What pushed her over the edge was the medical establishment’s solution. She was routinely told to distance herself from the patients and treat them more as cases and less like people. She watched as others did just that and it broke her heart. Ultimately, she had to make the decision to step away from that profession.

I really thought Bronte would enjoy my third book which chronicles my journey through open-heart surgery and my brief flirtation with death. Sadly, in many ways, I found medical care similar on this side of the pond. There was amazing people I interacted with from nurses to dietitians. They were the exception instead of the rule. After hearing Bronte’s story, I can better understand why.

What this story reminded me of, was Oprah Winfrey. When she began covering news stories she often became emotional hearing of loss and family tragedy. The media solution was the same as the one given to our friend Bronte. That was to view the people as a story and not fellow human beings.

Not only is the lack of empathy in both our medical and media worlds disheartening, but there is something worse. Both of these women were made to feel their empathy and compassion were a character flaw. Something they should work to get rid of. It is fortunate for the world the world that both of these ladies were brave enough not to let that happen.

We know the greatness that Oprah accomplished by not only accepting her empathy, but showcasing it in a way that serves others. I have no doubt that Bronte will reach greatness by sticking to her values and not allowing the world to make her cold. It is my hope that we will change to understand what a gift people who bring compassion and care for others are. If you find one in your life, make sure to thank them for being brave enough to care for others.

THE WEEK AHEAD

The quote here applies to all genders. As we are in the middle of another work week, keep this in mind. Plenty of people and circumstances will test your patience and resolve. True strength is being able to remain calm in the middle of chaos.

Why is remaining calm so important? When we react with emotions, we seldom make good decisions both in our words and actions. This tends to make our situation even worse. When we act from a calm state of mind, we speak and act with a better state of mind. This may help us out of chaos. At the very least, it will not take us further in it.

Remaining calm in the middle of chaos is not easy, but it is worth it.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON TO IMPRESS

This may be an unpopular stance in a social media and ‘like’ driven world, but we really need to work on the relationship we have with ourselves. The world is filled with people who will do just about anything to get out attention. When your focus is on getting attention and approval from others, they become your master.

The paradox of all of this is that when we are most authentically ourselves is when we are most impressive. An original work of art is always more impressive than a copy. You are most valuable when you are being the truest version of you. Why? There cannot be another. You are that original work of art.

People worry, “What if they do not like me for who I really am?” That is a legitimate worry. If you are trying to be something you are not and someone doesn’t like you, at least you can tell yourself, “They never knew the real me. ” If you are brave enough to be the real you and they still do not like you? That hits deeper.

To that we will go back to our art example. Not everyone likes the same art. Does that make it any less of a work of art? No it does not. You might not be someone’s cup of tea, as the saying goes. They might be a coffee drinker and that’s ok. It does not mean you are not an amazing cup of tea.

Before we get lost in analogy, let us answer a very important question. How do we become impressed with ourselves? We do hard things. We keep our word with others and with ourselves. We never stop working to become the best version of ourselves. When we do these things, we will not be hurt if some people don’t like us.

HEY YOU, MIRACLE WORKER!

How many of you saw this headline and thought “Oh, Neil is talking to me!”? I am guessing not to many of you. Still, the truth is that it applies to all of us. We may never know all of the lives we have impacted and miracles we have worked. Have you ever seen the movie It’s a Wonderful Life? In the movie, the main character is shown what the world would look like had he never been born. He is then able to see all of the lives he has impacted and miracles he has created. Far be it from me to give advice to the Creator, but it strikes me that this would benefit many more people than it wouldn’t.

I have been blessed (I can think of no other word to use here) to be told that my words have saved the lives of several people. Just one person would have made this all worth while. On the occasion that I get hung up on the frustration of not being able to reach more people, I have this beautiful lady who reminds me of all the lives I have touched. That doesn’t stop me from wanting to reach more, but it does remind me of the impact I have had. The truth is that we all have that impact. It could be treating a retail worker with kindness when they have had a tough day. It could be someone watching us from afar and being inspired by our actions. If you are a parent, you have already worked many miracles.

How would you live your life different if you stopped and realized that you are indeed are a miracle worker? If you were to stop and consider the impact your actions had on the lives of others, would you be more inspired to be kinder and more inspiring? Well here is your wake up call! You are a miracle worker. You have touched more lives than you will ever know. When the world wants to knock you down, go forth with the knowledge that you have lifted others up. Often without ever knowing. You are a miracle worker.

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING YOU CAN DO TODAY

Who would not want a more beautiful world? These days things are getting a little ugly in many places. We can feel helpless to make any real change. Most of us are not leaders of countries. We are not those who make laws. We do not lead religions or are not celebrities who have millions of followers. Considering these facts, how can any of us hope to make changes that can make the world a more beautiful place?

The answer can be found in our own lives. When we think about who made the greatest difference in our life it was not the government or a celebrity. No. It was usually a kind word from a friend. Perhaps an encouraging word from our parents. A supportive and loving word from our partner can change our life. Even random kind acts from strangers have a greater impact in our life.

The point is simple. If you wish for a more beautiful world, then spread kindness and love to all you meet. It is those interactions that change people’s lives.