Tag: encouragement

YOU HAVE TO REMIND YOURSELF.

This is a very important point to ponder.  It can be so easy to ride the waves of negative emotions, but that just leads to am ocean of despair and depression. That is not to say you should not validate your emotions. Like the quote above says, “feel your feelings” To that i would add to look for the lessons and what you can learn from them. Then, take a walk outside. You will be greeted with all kinds of beautiful reminders.

A change in mindset is required. The payoff is even with all of the challenges, you will see, and more importantly feel, life is a miracle instead of a job. Walking in nature helps this. You see the beauty in the trees, the birds and other animals we share this planet with. I love seeing elderly couples out waking together. It not only gives you hope of lasting love, but let’s you know it is never too late to fall in love.

Miracles surround us everyday. Granted it can be hard to see them when we find ourselves down and out emotionally. That is when it is the most important to do. One way to accomplish this is to find as many things to be grateful for as you walk. It could be the fact that you can walk. Maybe not as well as you used to, but you still can. How about the fact we now have sidewalks and stop lights? Quite different in the 1800’s. Most parks have rest rooms available. If not, there are usually businesses in near proximity.

The world is full of miracles. Use the power of gratitude to unlock them. When you are feeling down, or even if you are not, take time to walk about, look up and notice them all.

DON’T JUST EXIST, LIVE!

Oscar Wilde sure was an amusing gent. This quote is sadly accurate. I’m not sure what happens as we age, but for a good many of us life becomes “wake up, work, pay bills and repeat.” This continues until one day we don’t wake up at all.

In preparation for my upcoming book, I have been asking people their take on what they believe can help put the passion back in life. There have been some great answers given. It was one gentleman’s failure to have an answer that really started me thinking.

We will call this gentleman Bill. He can retire at any moment he chooses. He has enough years, his house is paid off and he has a good amount saved for retirement. In addition, Bill spends a good amount of time and energy complaining about the job. His age, the cold and the aches and pains of not being a young man anymore.

I inquired with Bill why he doesn’t retire off into the sunset. His answer surprised me. “I don’t want to be bored.” He said. There was a great deal of sadness and resignation in his tone. He went on to explain that he really doesn’t have any hobbies. There is nothing that he really looks forward too. In not so many words, Bill confessed being the the “wake up, pay bills and repeat” cycle for so long he forgot that there was anything else out there.

Hopefully, Bill will find himself once again and enjoy life and family. He is not alone in this circumstance. Many people die shortly after retirement. It is due to a lack of purpose. They tie their identity to their occupation. When that ends, they feel they have no value and no purpose for being. Make sure not to find yourself in this situation. Do not just exist. Make sure to live!

WHEN YOU JUST CAN’T SEEM TO CHANGE THINGS…

We discussed challenging times in our last post. If you haven’t had the chance to read it, perhaps it would serve you to do so after our time is finished today. The above quote was from a man who was imprisoned in a concentration camp in the second world war. That may be one of the most challenging situations to survive. Still, survive he did. He went on to write one of the most powerful books I have ever read, Man’s Search for Meaning. In this book he discusses how each inmates view of the future impacted his rate of survival in the camp.

I do not think any of us can imagine going through something as awful as one of those camps. That being said, the world today is not always an easy place to live in. The constant barrage of negative information that we are fed through the media can crack even the toughest shell. The price of even the most basic items seems to rise daily. Not to mention the price of the dreams so many of us hold dear in our hearts. All of this can lead to feelings of sadness, helplessness and depression. When we feel that our life is in a downward spiral and we have no control over it, what can we do then?

It is then that we are often faced with the pressure to make one of the most difficult, yet powerful, changes in our life. While it is true there are a great many things that are beyond our ability to control, there remains one that is. That item over which we have complete and utter control over is ourselves. The man or woman who stares back at us in the mirror is both our greatest responsibility and our greatest opportunity. The reality is that we cannot control a great deal of our life. Instead of putting our energy and focus on outside circumstances, we would be much better served putting that energy on improving ourselves.

This is in no way a judgmental statement. For this is something I must remind myself of daily. As many of you know, I struggle in the winter months. The lack of sunshine and cold weather seem to do a number on my ability to enjoy life as I should. It is easy to spend the day bemoaning the weather. Do you know what that does not change? The weather. That energy would be better spent working on self-care and projects to keep my spirits high. Your lament may certainly be different than mine, but one thing is certain, improving ourselves will improve every area of our life.

When you become a better version of yourself, every area of your life improves. This is not only true of an author with a raging case of seasonal affective disorder, but of everyone. When we focus on improving ourselves, even those situations over which we have no control will seem to fall more in line. At the very least we will be better equipped to face them.

WE WILL MAKE IT THROUGH

This site, secret2anamazinglife.com, is generally filled with tools and strategies to live an…well…amazing life. How to succeed and excel in every area of your life. We touch on such important areas as your health, your career and your relationships. Somedays, pursuing lofty ideals do not even cross your mind. It does not escape my attention that there are days when all of us just struggle to make it through. There are days when the struggles of life weigh heavy and it seems the world is on our shoulders. On these days we may not be interested in hearing about self-care, certainly not self-improvement. We are just doing our best to make it through to the next sunrise. On some days it can take all we have to get out of bed. On the toughest of days, we might not even be able to do that.

It is for these very days that what we share with each other here is so important. When your world seems dark, the last thing you want to think about is being the light for others. That can seem impossible when you cannot see the light yourself. It is okay to have these days. There is nothing wrong with calling in sick to work when you feel a sadness you just can’t seem to shake. That is what sick days are for. We can suffer physically, mentally, but we can also suffer emotionally and spiritually. There are days when you may feel sick in your heart and spirit. Take the time you need. Even the strongest of us have days in which it can become too much for us to handle. There is no shame in that.

Days like that remind us of why the kindness we show each other is so important. That can be the kindness of a friend, or a simple, but powerful, smile from a stranger. We may not be having one of those days today but we know what it is like to have one. The smile on someone’s face can be hiding a pain we know nothing of. That is why it is important to stay together and help each other out on this journey we call life. Whether we like it or not, we are all in this together. The easier you make the journey of your fellow human, the easier yours will be too. Whether you are the one we needs to take a day to recover, or you are running into someone who does, we must stick together. Despite differences, despite disagreements, we must all show each other love and respect. Doing this we will be able to get through this together.

THEY ARE ALL TEACHERS

It can be hard to deal with some challenging people. Maybe they are always negative and complaining. Maybe they are impatient or judgemental? One way to look at the situation is ask yourself, “What can this person teach me?” These answers can range from ‘how to be patient’ to ‘what not to be like as a human’. Either way, every negative person in our life brings us a gift in the form of a teaching. We should not miss the gift just because we do not like the wrapping paper.

We will end this on a positive note. Think about how grateful you are for the people who bring light and medicine to your life. This can be someone who always listens. It can be someone who always brings a smile. There are people who just make us feel better by their presence.

Everyone is a teacher. Which kind are you?

USE YOUR GPS!

I like this quote. It is an easy way for us to think when we encounter a challenge in life. It is much like encountering a closed road. We would not throw our hands up and abandon the trip. We should do the same for our life and our goals. We can adjust the route. Maybe take a detour, but keep our eyes on the destination.

This year, let us embrace the detours and see what we can learn along the way. Success is never linear. When we experience a delay, it is not a denial. It just may be a detour. Although these are seldom appreciated at the moment, it may be just what we need.

A GREAT DAY FOR THIS!

There are a lot of crazy and negative things going on in the world today. It can be a lot just to make it through the day. One can begin to wonder what we can do to rally against all of this negativity. The answer is a little counter intuitive. It can be found in the picture above. Have a great day. You may find yourself thinking, “How can I have a great day when the day around me is far from great?” That is exactly when we need to have great days the most. It can be hard to not let outside circumstances dictate our inner condition. Not only is it possible, but it is really how we were meant to live. We cannot let the negativity win. How can we accomplish that? It involves a change of mindset.

A personal example for me is as follows. I am currently dealing with a fractured, and who knows what else, foot. It is preventing me from working out as I would like to do. Not to mention it hurts fairly bad. It is well below freezing where I live and has been for weeks. I am a fan of the sun and beach. The vacation I had planned next Wednesday to get away was recently canceled due to the hotel being hit by a hurricane. As you can see, I have plenty of reasons I could feel down. Do you know what else is equally true? I was able to go to the gym this morning and workout in different ways. I went out to lunch with Margie and my mother. We had one of our favorite servers, Estela. Then I went to write these blogs and look what they wrote on my cup! Both of these lists of items are true and factual. Focusing on one would have me frustrated and depressed. Focusing on the other will have me feeling grateful and happy. That is why it is a great day to have a great day.

The news can have you believe the sky is falling. In many ways there are lots of crazy things happening. This is not about denying any of that. What it is about is reminding ourselves how many good things are still out there. If we choose, we can make a great day out of anything. Why not make today a great day?

THE POWER OF CHOICE

Far too many of us feel that we are victims of our emotions. We allow circumstances determine our emotional well-being. Yes, it is true that I would find it happier to be on a beach in the tropics instead of here in Wisconsin where the temperature has been below freezing for weeks. If I am depressed, it is because I have chosen to be. Instead, could I focus on what i have to be grateful for? Of course.

One of my favorite Bob Marley lyrics compares complaining to prayers to the devil. When we complain, it brings down the mood of not only those around us,  but ourselves as well. Without action, complaining is less than useless it is counter-productive.

Gossip is another one. We can choose to talk bad about those we feel deserve it, or we could instead build up those we think are amazing. There are 2 reasons to do the latter. The first one should be obvious. It will make you, and those around you, in a better mood. Even more importantly, is how it reflects on you. They may not say it, but when all people hear you say is negative things about others, they will wonder what you are saying about them when they are not around.

Feel free to read through the first photo and ask yourself what choices you could improve on. None of this means denying reality. It is choosing which aspect of reality to focus on!

YOU MADE IT THROUGH!

This is more for my friends in the Northern hemisphere. For someone who is a fan of warm weather and sunshine, but lives in a state with 9 months of winter, this is a glimmer of hope. Although this graphic is about the weather, in many ways in mimics life in general. We have dark periods in our life. Much like the weather, we have little or no control over outside circumstances. What we can do is find ways to change our mindset and find ways in which to find as much light in the darkness as we can. Sometimes that consists in just knowing that the darkness does not last forever.

Another way in which this is like life is that the seasons are cyclical. Every year there is a dark period followed by a period of rebirth and growth. Life is much the same. We have periods of darkness. There are times when nothing seems to be going right. People pass away, jobs are lost and health is compromised. After which, we find a period of light. We find a job that we enjoy more, or perhaps pays better. We gain our health and maybe make some new friends. Knowing that there are cycles to this crazy adventure we call life can help us better appreciate and make it through some of the darker times.

As of right now, those of us in the north have made it through some of the darkest days. There will be some challenges ahead to be sure. The days will continue to grow longer and eventually the temperatures will rise as well. Knowing this helps us make it through the snow and frigid weather. Just like knowing there will be a brighter time in our life can help us make it through the darker times. We have done it before and we will do it again!

WEEKEND PONDERING…

This quote from Epictetus really makes it simple. For those of you who do not know, Epictetus was a slave before becoming a philosopher. That is certainly an auspicious start of there ever was one.

Picturing who you want to be is something we should do daily. Keep focused on the individual we wish to see looking back at us in the mirror. Myself, I wish to be staring back at a best-selling author who is changing people’s lives for the better and leaving the world a better place.

Once we get clear on exactly who we wish to be, the next step is thinking about what it will take to get there. Even if we do not know the exact steps to get there, we can focus on the traits this person would have. A best-selling author would write every day. They would focus on developing their craft and vocabulary. This is why, for the last 1300 days, you have seen a blog from me.

This weekend take some time to get clear about the kind of person you wish to be. This is not only professional, but personal as well. Do you wish to be more positive? More disciplined? Then decide what you have to do to get there. It would help to write it down and check in with yourself every morning. Maybe while looking in that mirror? Before long the person starting back at you will be the person you want to be!