If you know me personally, or follow this blog for any length of time, you may guess that my answer here would be summer. I do love that season and the warmth and sunshine that comes with it. Certainly no denying that. I would like to offer gratitude for the upcoming season today. That season being spring. Where I live, it seems that winter lasts about 9 months of the year. It is also listed as the 8th gloomiest city in the nation. For someone who loves sunshine as much as I do, that can be hard to take. That is why spring is so inspiring. Even if you are a fan of winter, by this time most of us have had enough. Enough of the shoveling and driving through snow. Enough of the grey sky and dead looking trees.
Spring, often starts with the same sort of weather, but in the back of our minds there is hope. When that snow comes we think to ourselves, “At least it will not last that long.” We look for buds on trees and other signs that old man winter is on his way out. We are looking for the sky of grey to become one of a resplendent blue. We hope the ray of sunshine will not only warm the air, but our hearts as well. So I am grateful for the coming of spring, which will arrive here in less than a week.
The talk of spring brings attention to other seasons that we should be grateful for as well. How about the season of growth in our own life? Just like the season of spring with its up and down weather including rain and sun mixed with clouds, our own growth is the same. A season of growth causes us to learn lessons, not always in a comfortable way. We must often let go of things to make room for something better. We do so because we believe something better will take its place. That is a season of hope. In a world that can often be dark, we must know that a better time is coming. A time when there will be more love for our neighbors and less division. We must hold on to that hope. A season of hope can help us make it through many dark times. That is truly a season to be grateful for.
To catch you up to date, we are doing a month of gratitude. Today is day 2. Feel free to go back and read yesterday’s post as well. We love to hear your answers in the comments that follow today’s post.
Ah technology. Many people curse this, but few stop and appreciate all we have to be thankful for. Personally, I have many. We will start with a popular one – cell phones. Yes, they have their drawbacks, but think of all they bring us. I can stay in contact with my lovely lady. That helps me worry less. You can retrieve information at the drop of a hat. It reduces the amount of graffiti on rest room stalls.
I also love the technology in my new car. I am not a fan of the cold weather. My new car allows me to start the car from my cell phone! By the time I get in, the heated seats and steering wheel are already warm. Two more technology items I am grateful for! They make winter so much more!
How about you? What technology are you especially grateful for? There are so many to choose from! I would love to hear what you think!
Above is a list of 30 days of gratitude. We did this a few year’s back and many of you asked for a repeat. We are going to take one day at a time. I’ll share my personal answer and you are welcome to do the same. Each day we will explore something new to be gratefulfor!
Our first answer involves one of the most powerful senses – smell! Do you know often realtors bake chocolate chip cookies in houses they are showing? It gives the perspective buyers a feeling of home. Smells have a unique path in our brains. That is why a scent can bring up a memory.
There are many different smells I am grateful for. I love the smell of damp earth when I am walking out in nature. I love the smell of a diner when you walk in. That mix of eggs, toast and coffee. I love the scents of coconut and vanilla. Anything that reminds me of vacation.
How about you? What are some of the smells you are grateful for? Are there some that bring back great memories? Share with us in the comments below!
This is a simple, yet powerful quote. In all of our lives we have had situations that have knocked us down. It could be a divorce, a sudden job loss, a health crisis or abuse of any kind. Most of the time, none of these are our faults. It is, however, 100% of our responsibility what we do with the situation that we are placed in. Eric Thomas said it best when he said, “It may not be your fault that you have been knocked down, but if I come back in a year and you are still laying there that is on you.”
In no way is this an attempt to belittle what you have been through. You may have been a victim of fate, the economy or even another person. That can be cruel and unfair. Whether you stay a victim is up to you. This does not mean it is easy. It does not mean crawling out of that situation will not be painful. What it does mean is that you have decided not to let them hurt you anymore. Every day that you use your circumstances as an excuse instead of motivation, you are giving power to them and taking away power from yourself. Yes, your boss may have fired you unfairly. Yes, the economic crash may have been brought on by rich politicians who could care less about the working class. None of that is your fault.
It is time to look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself these two important words – Now What? Your name was slandered by a cyber bully. Now what? You could seek revenge, which is a terrible waste of energy and can even end up adding validation to their accusations. Better option would be to commit to living your life in such a fashion that anyone who would speak against you would be the one to look foolish. You had no choice in the actions of the bully, but the responsibility in your response is all on you. Many people have had terrible childhoods filled with abuse that we can’t even imagine. Still, the responsibility falls on them to either heal or not. I am blessed to have friends who have took the painful journey of confronting their abuse, healing and now help others. I have seen others fall into a world of addiction and have their life end far too soon.
Whether we like it or not, there is no connection between fault and responsibility. None of what happened to you may be your fault, but your life is still your responsibility. This may seem unfair, but it is also terribly liberating and empowering. That means our past, as painful as it might have been, does not have to limit our future. It only will if we decide to let it. If you need help in your journey, reach out to a friend or a professional. Do not let your past determine your future.
We spent the last few posts discussing the power of gratitude. Today, we are going to discuss another emotion with a great impact in our life. That is the power of belief. What we believe will determine, to a great deal, what we will or will not do in life. If we believe that all charities are scams, we are unlikely to donate money to any cause. If we believe all people in life are out to get something, we may have a hard time accepting compliments as being genuine. You may have not stop to consider how your belief about other people’s motivations could impact your ability to accept compliments about yourself, but you can see how it would impact that.
This post is about another important belief, our belief in ourselves. Do you believe in yourself? Sure, it may have some to do with the situation. My belief in myself when it comes to speaking in front of others is a lot greater than dancing in front of others. For you it might be the exact opposite. What happens when that belief falters? There are two very important steps we can take to help us in just such a situation. This is not mere theory. Just today practicing the second of these steps allowed me to write when I didn’t think I had it in me. We will get to that after discussing the first step.
The first is to keep track of some of the great things we have done in our life. Especially if it involves overcoming any kind of challenge. David Goggins, one of my favorite speakers and authors, calls it the cookie jar. When you are young and you were upset, you could often reach in the cookie jar and pull out a cookie to make you feel better. Sadly, that may only work so well as an adult. The cookie jar we are talking about is the reminders of all that we have accomplished. Often when we think we would be unable to. David Goggins is also an ultra marathon runner. He was asked what he thinks about at mile 50 or mile 75 when his body just wants to give up. This was a question that interested me. Not only in terms of what the hell would you think about after running 75 miles? Also because it is a great metaphor for life. How often can work, family or relationship stress feel like running a 100 mile race? Sometimes running may even sound easier than what we are going through. Our belief in ourself may come into question. Perhaps the task is seemingly insurmountable or we have already made some terrible mistake? Then what? We need to go into that cookie jar in our brain and pull out one of those ‘cookies’ of our past accomplishments. When we overcame the odds or accomplished something great. We need to remind ourselves how awesome we are.
The second thing that is important to do is to surround ourselves with people who also believe in us. Sometimes we just can’t reach the cookie jar and we need someone else to reach inside and hand us a cookie. The more they know and care about us, the better they are able to do this. It is another great reason to put in the work to build and grow your relationships. It will come back to serve you as well. I promised you a personal example of this. The people in the two pictures above are myself and my lovely lady. I am the one with the facial hair in case you are still confused. We have been together going on 12 years. Just yesterday, I took her on a date. Why am I still dating my lady after 12 years? Here is why. Today I was having a bad case of writer’s block. I messaged her to tell her. Her response? “I believe in you. You are always so smart and patient.” Those few words gave me the belief in myself to write several blogs, including the very one you are reading. Having someone to believe in you when you are doubting yourself is not only a great gift, but why a relationship is a great responsibility. It is also why a beautiful sweet lady is one of the greatest gifts and one that I treasure.
Believing in ourselves allows to accomplish far more than if we doubt ourself. Taking these two steps can help us either develop or improve that belief. Keeping a ‘mental cookie jar’ of our accomplishments and fostering our relationships with those who do believe in us will help keep us going. As I was writing this, a new self-improvement tool popped into my head. It will be in the upcoming book, but you will hear it hear first. It may not be a bad idea to keep an actual cookie jar and write down your accomplishments to put in there. When we need that emotional ‘cookie’, it can be hard to come up with. Especially if we are in a negative emotional state. Having written examples of them will take the thinking part out of the equation and still help our belief in ourself. This certainly isn’t necessary, but does make the process a lot easier and more effective. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you add these two steps to your life to improve the belief you have in yourself. Use that belief to accomplish the greatness that is inside of you.
This is a very important point to ponder. It can be so easy to ride the waves of negative emotions, but that just leads to am ocean of despair and depression. That is not to say you should not validate your emotions. Like the quote above says, “feel your feelings” To that i would add to look for the lessons and what you can learn from them. Then, take a walk outside. You will be greeted with all kinds of beautiful reminders.
A change in mindset is required. The payoff is even with all of the challenges, you will see, and more importantly feel, life is a miracle instead of a job. Walking in nature helps this. You see the beauty in the trees, the birds and other animals we share this planet with. I love seeing elderly couples out waking together. It not only gives you hope of lasting love, but let’s you know it is never too late to fall in love.
Miracles surround us everyday. Granted it can be hard to see them when we find ourselves down and out emotionally. That is when it is the most important to do. One way to accomplish this is to find as many things to be grateful for as you walk. It could be the fact that you can walk. Maybe not as well as you used to, but you still can. How about the fact we now have sidewalks and stop lights? Quite different in the 1800’s. Most parks have rest rooms available. If not, there are usually businesses in near proximity.
The world is full of miracles. Use the power of gratitude to unlock them. When you are feeling down, or even if you are not, take time to walk about, look up and notice them all.
Oscar Wilde sure was an amusing gent. This quote is sadly accurate. I’m not sure what happens as we age, but for a good many of us life becomes “wake up, work, pay bills and repeat.” This continues until one day we don’t wake up at all.
In preparation for my upcoming book, I have been asking people their take on what they believe can help put the passion back in life. There have been some great answers given. It was one gentleman’s failure to have an answer that really started me thinking.
We will call this gentleman Bill. He can retire at any moment he chooses. He has enough years, his house is paid off and he has a good amount saved for retirement. In addition, Bill spends a good amount of time and energy complaining about the job. His age, the cold and the aches and pains of not being a young man anymore.
I inquired with Bill why he doesn’t retire off into the sunset. His answer surprised me. “I don’t want to be bored.” He said. There was a great deal of sadness and resignation in his tone. He went on to explain that he really doesn’t have any hobbies. There is nothing that he really looks forward too. In not so many words, Bill confessed being the the “wake up, pay bills and repeat” cycle for so long he forgot that there was anything else out there.
Hopefully, Bill will find himself once again and enjoy life and family. He is not alone in this circumstance. Many people die shortly after retirement. It is due to a lack of purpose. They tie their identity to their occupation. When that ends, they feel they have no value and no purpose for being. Make sure not to find yourself in this situation. Do not just exist. Make sure to live!
We discussed challenging times in our last post. If you haven’t had the chance to read it, perhaps it would serve you to do so after our time is finished today. The above quote was from a man who was imprisoned in a concentration camp in the second world war. That may be one of the most challenging situations to survive. Still, survive he did. He went on to write one of the most powerful books I have ever read, Man’s Search for Meaning. In this book he discusses how each inmates view of the future impacted his rate of survival in the camp.
I do not think any of us can imagine going through something as awful as one of those camps. That being said, the world today is not always an easy place to live in. The constant barrage of negative information that we are fed through the media can crack even the toughest shell. The price of even the most basic items seems to rise daily. Not to mention the price of the dreams so many of us hold dear in our hearts. All of this can lead to feelings of sadness, helplessness and depression. When we feel that our life is in a downward spiral and we have no control over it, what can we do then?
It is then that we are often faced with the pressure to make one of the most difficult, yet powerful, changes in our life. While it is true there are a great many things that are beyond our ability to control, there remains one that is. That item over which we have complete and utter control over is ourselves. The man or woman who stares back at us in the mirror is both our greatest responsibility and our greatest opportunity. The reality is that we cannot control a great deal of our life. Instead of putting our energy and focus on outside circumstances, we would be much better served putting that energy on improving ourselves.
This is in no way a judgmental statement. For this is something I must remind myself of daily. As many of you know, I struggle in the winter months. The lack of sunshine and cold weather seem to do a number on my ability to enjoy life as I should. It is easy to spend the day bemoaning the weather. Do you know what that does not change? The weather. That energy would be better spent working on self-care and projects to keep my spirits high. Your lament may certainly be different than mine, but one thing is certain, improving ourselves will improve every area of our life.
When you become a better version of yourself, every area of your life improves. This is not only true of an author with a raging case of seasonal affective disorder, but of everyone. When we focus on improving ourselves, even those situations over which we have no control will seem to fall more in line. At the very least we will be better equipped to face them.
This site, secret2anamazinglife.com, is generally filled with tools and strategies to live an…well…amazing life. How to succeed and excel in every area of your life. We touch on such important areas as your health, your career and your relationships. Somedays, pursuing lofty ideals do not even cross your mind. It does not escape my attention that there are days when all of us just struggle to make it through. There are days when the struggles of life weigh heavy and it seems the world is on our shoulders. On these days we may not be interested in hearing about self-care, certainly not self-improvement. We are just doing our best to make it through to the next sunrise. On some days it can take all we have to get out of bed. On the toughest of days, we might not even be able to do that.
It is for these very days that what we share with each other here is so important. When your world seems dark, the last thing you want to think about is being the light for others. That can seem impossible when you cannot see the light yourself. It is okay to have these days. There is nothing wrong with calling in sick to work when you feel a sadness you just can’t seem to shake. That is what sick days are for. We can suffer physically, mentally, but we can also suffer emotionally and spiritually. There are days when you may feel sick in your heart and spirit. Take the time you need. Even the strongest of us have days in which it can become too much for us to handle. There is no shame in that.
Days like that remind us of why the kindness we show each other is so important. That can be the kindness of a friend, or a simple, but powerful, smile from a stranger. We may not be having one of those days today but we know what it is like to have one. The smile on someone’s face can be hiding a pain we know nothing of. That is why it is important to stay together and help each other out on this journey we call life. Whether we like it or not, we are all in this together. The easier you make the journey of your fellow human, the easier yours will be too. Whether you are the one we needs to take a day to recover, or you are running into someone who does, we must stick together. Despite differences, despite disagreements, we must all show each other love and respect. Doing this we will be able to get through this together.
It can be hard to deal with some challenging people. Maybe they are always negative and complaining. Maybe they are impatient or judgemental? One way to look at the situation is ask yourself, “What can this person teach me?” These answers can range from ‘how to be patient’ to ‘what not to be like as a human’. Either way, every negative person in our life brings us a gift in the form of a teaching. We should not miss the gift just because we do not like the wrapping paper.
We will end this on a positive note. Think about how grateful you are for the people who bring light and medicine to your life. This can be someone who always listens. It can be someone who always brings a smile. There are people who just make us feel better by their presence.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 