This is me…I believe that I am lost in thought here. At least that is what I am telling myself. If you have read my book or followed this blog for any length of time you know that I am an advocate of filling your life with motivational and inspirational things daily. In addition to that I recommend listening to them over and over again. Why would we want to listen to something we have already listened to? Wouldn’t we be better served listening to something new? Actually we should do a mixture of both. As to why we should listen to the same message several times, it is to get the most out of it.

Depending on our mood at the time we can hear and look at things in an entirely different way. Another reason is that as we experience different things in life we can appreciate things differently. Getting married changes our perspective on relationships. Being in a different economical bracket can change our opinions on what places to eat at. It doesn’t have to even be such major changes. Meeting new people, learning new things can all change how we view the world. Sometimes it takes hearing something several times for it to click.

I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person, but just the other day a concept I had understood on an intellectual level finally made sense emotionally. You could say I finally got the message in my spirit. That message is you have to give to get. The first time I heard it the message sounded like a paradox. How can you give the very thing you wish to receive? If you are looking for financial freedom how does giving away some of your money help? This was made clear through the help of many of my mentors. First, Earl Nightingale, the dean of personal development. Earl described the life some people live as sitting in front of a woodstove saying “Give me heat and then I will put in the wood.” It just doesn’t work that way. Zig Ziglar, another great speaker, put it this way, “You can’t pay anyone to do your pushups.”

Still the one that finally made it click was a video by Greg Plitt the late fitness model and motivator. I was close to hyperventilating on a treadmill while watching one of his videos. In this video he talked about people who go to the gym for the month of January and then give up because they are not seeing any results. He used a very great analogy. Imagine your body as a lump of cold clay. You place that clay on a pottery wheel and begin to try and shape it. You put some water on it as well as the friction and heat of your hands. What happens? At first not much. The clay has been sitting like that for quite some time, so even if you push very hard it will not move much. Now, keep spinning it and rubbing it with your hands and the clay begins to warm up. That is like starting to go to the gym when you are out of shape. Your body has not moved for years, now suddenly you are moving and working. It is like pushing on the cold clay, it doesn’t change very much. After the clay begins to heat up, however, it begins to get easier and easier to mold. If you stop and let the clay get cold again, you have to start all over. Most people just get to the place where they are about to see changes, or when the clay is warm if you will, and then stop. If only they had pushed on a little longer they would have seen the beginning of the results they were seeking.

Ok, great story, but what does it all mean. I realized then and there (maybe lack of oxygen had something to do with it) that everything truly worthwhile in life I had to give something to get. When I learned to bartend I studied great communicators as well as drink recipes. When I was getting in better shape I had given up some of my free time to the gym.

If you are looking at a specific goal take some time to think what you may have to give up to get that goal and start giving!


We left off last week discussing looking at all we have to be grateful for verses all that is wrong.  We discussed how to do it with other people.  We discussed how to do it with things and situations in our life.  Now we are going to discuss one of the most important ways to apply this principle, with ourselves.  I was hanging out with a very beautiful friend of mine the other night and out of the blue she says “I am so unattractive right now”.  I set down my cup of coffee to try to figure out where this random statement came from.  “Why?” was pretty much all I could muster.  She went on to explain that she thinks nobody would find her attractive because in the last year she has gained 30 pounds.  Now I would have never guessed that to be the case, but taking her at her word I asked her several questions.  Do you like your make-up?  How is your fashion sense?  Do you always shower and try to look nice?  With the exception of an occasional roll of the eyes she had to say yes to all of them.  Just because we have one flaw does not make us a flawed person.  We all have strengths, we all have weaknesses.  What seems odd to me is as a culture we seem to address these issues backwards.  Focusing all of our energy on our faults as we see them can only lead us to feeling inferior and depressed.  Now I am not saying if you do have an issue to work on that you should ignore it, not at all.  Work on it, but do not focus on it.  We should do our best to focus on our strengths to use the natural skills we have to bring the maximum amount of greatness to the world.  As we do we stand the best chance of helping others and our confidence will soar.  Knowing how well we can do things will put us in a far better frame to address the concerns we have with the other aspects of our lives.  Then when we look in the mirror and see those faults, just as we did with others we will understand it is the situation, not the person we are unhappy with.