Tag: Business

NEVER FORGET YOUR WORTH…

“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth”

-quote from the website ‘livelifehappy.com’

I have posted on this subject before. To often we let outside circumstances determine how we feel. The most obvious situation in which this manifests is relationships. Someone is with an abusive spouse and they find themselves doubting their own value. Perhaps they just have a string of bad relationships and ask “What is wrong with me?” I am not going to go into too much depth about that as the other post was dedicated to that. What I do want to talk about with you today is the other ways in which these feelings can come about. If you are a member of a certain race or culture and are the unfortunate victim of harassment for that you may even subconsciously start to believe some of those stereotypes. There is even another way in which people and circumstances can make you feel less than valued and that is in the job market. Perhaps you expected that raise or a good review and did not get it. Perhaps due to downsizing and office politics you find your position has been reduced or even eliminated. That actually happened to me last week. Now you can find yourself asking “Why me?” or feeling anger for your boss, supervisor or whoever was responsible for that decision. Most of all you can find yourself feeling under valued and under appreciated. So how can we prepare for any of these or the countless other situations that can leave us doubting our own value? Be proactive! If you find yourself in the middle of one of these situations this exercise will still work, but it would save a lot of heartache and self-doubt if you were to do it before one even comes up. The simple answer here, determine your own value. Grab your trusty pad and paper and begin to list all of the things that make you the amazing person you are. If you find yourself having a hard time accomplishing this list you could employ the help of a trusted friend. Another idea is to carry a pen and paper with you and note what people compliment you on. I’ll give you an example of what I had written in my case. 1.) I knew I provided great customer service skills in an organization that greatly needs them 2.) I genuinely care about my customers and have brought several great things to the communities I serve. 3.) I have great attendance and can be counted on to be there when I am needed 4.) I am an honest and loyal employee. Now when you do have your list of positive attributes down even if it is just a few, you have a great foundation for several things. One, you have great material for a job interview or to accent on a first date depending on what you may be using this for. You also have the beginnings of a great self-confidence booster. Once you do realize how much you bring to the equation you will be less willing to settle for less than you are worth be it in a job, relationship or any other circumstance. Then outside events fail to maintain their ugly grip on your emotions. If you find yourself struggling to come up with much of a list then you may consider developing a list of skills you would like to bring to the table…but that is a subject for tomorrow’s post!

HOW HOT ARE YOU??

“Be the thermostat instead of the thermometer! Set the atmosphere you want to work in instead of working in other people’s expectations”

-from the website Boomsocial.net

This is similar to the post I had entitled “waking up in Neutral” Ask yourself to you respond to your environment or do you create the environment you choose to have? It can be the difference between merely looking at the thermometer or setting the thermostat. Notice one is passive, one is active. If you do not take action to change your life you will be at the mercy of others and circumstances beyond your control. If you take focused and determined action you are guaranteed to succeed. It may not be in the time frame you hoped for and may not be in exactly the way you expected, but it will happen. Of course you must check how you set your thermostat. What do I mean? Let’s look at the way a thermostat works. The temperature gets so cold and then the thermostat kicks the heat on. Some people are the same. They wait until their life gets so far out of control to take action. The idea here is to set your temperature so that your heat turns on well before your life is too crazy. Take action consistently.  Now let us look at the opposite way this can operate. The other function of a thermostat is to not let things get to hot. When the temperature gets so high the air conditioning turns on to cool things off. How does this relate to your life? Have you ever been in a situation, a relationship perhaps, where things are going so well you start to get a little uncomfortable? Perhaps you say or do something to sabotage your own success? Why on earth would we do something like that? There are truly a million reasons. Some people are fatalistic. Some people are very uncomfortable with their own success. Have you ever heard someone say “Well it’s good now, but it can’t last”? My reply is always why the hell not? Why can’t it get better? Set your thermostat higher. Become comfortable with your own success. You wouldn’t sit in a house that is too cold or hot without doing something about it. Don’t settle for the same in your life. Stop staring at the thermometer and get up and change the thermostat!

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING YOU…

In a world where you can be anything, be yourself

this was a random quote I saw on Facebook. It is a great reminder that while people pull us in a million different directions it is vital we stay true to ourselves and our core values and beliefs. We will examine in greater detail how to do this and why it is important later in the week. For today let us just ponder this amazing thought.

KEEP MOTIVATED…DAILY! PART ONE

To paraphrase the late Zig Ziglar motivation expert and author, Motivation doesn’t last, neither does bathing that is why we must do it daily. So how to capture this? How can we work in motivation every single day with limited or no effort on our part? How can there be a reminder every single day to seed our mind to greatness and expand our compassion and our drive for success. The answer can be found on your wall, or on your desk, or on that table by the television. It is a great tool that is often overlooked. The day by day calendar. Whoever started this great idea was on to something. it is getting to be that time of year where calendar stores start popping up at your local mall. I strongly suggest paying a visit to one. For roughly the price of one dinner out you can be treated to daily motivation right in your home! They have calendars for all different angles. Trying to become more driven? They have calendars for people who are starting their own business. looking to create more peace and tranquility in your life? Try a zen calendar. The one I am currently using is ‘insight from the Dalai lama’ he is a man I greatly respect and his words give me a lot to think about as I go through my life. All I do to accomplish this is tear off a little piece of paper as I grab my daily cup of coffee. Think of whatever goal you are aspiring to, now imagine 365 powerful thoughts towards its creation. All of them already written and waiting for you with no effort on your behalf. how much closer to accomplishing your goal, whether it will be to be more relaxed, prosperous or enlightened if you could focus on it in a different manner 365 ways in a year. a great thing about these calendars you can tear off the sheet, which is roughly 4 inches by 4 inches and take it with you. fold it up and put it in your pocket/wallet/purse whatever. Then you can take it out and think about it several times a day. My aunt who either has far more ambition, time or both than myself even saved a few of her favorites and made a scrap-book of them. Thus, they can keep inspiring her for years to come. Now if I could only find that calendar with beautiful beaches, lovely island girls and motivational quotes I would be set. Seriously, stop by your local calendar store and take a look around, see what may work for you. Also there are nice little desk calendars and even wall calendars that can provide you with inspirational thoughts weekly or monthly. They are great for developing mantras and building on a single idea for a prolonged period of time. Recently my amazing friend Crystal gave me one and I love it! Not only do I enjoy the inspirational quotes, but I am always reminded of, and grateful for the amazing friend I have in her. So they also make wonderful gifts to inspire others.

DENTAL PAIN AND THE CLARITY OF PAIN PILLS…

How many of us can remember our last toothache? Well it seems you just can’t focus on anything else.  I remember being at my dentist having a bridge put in.  In is not only a rather uncomfortable experience, but I think by the time we were done my wallet was hurting.  What was odd, and what I took away from that experience was a very valuable lesson.  In the middle of some drilling, grinding and I think maybe a pick axe was involved somewhere the dentist keen eye of observation picked up on the fact I was less than comfortable.  He said “can I ask you one question?”. Personally I was hoping it was something about sedation dentistry or laughing gas, but he simply asked me, “How does your leg feel?”.  I managed to change my expression from contorted pain to a slight ‘are you out of your mind’ type look.  He went on to ask me specifics “it’s not numb is it?” “good elevation for you leg?” I started to worry if maybe he hit the laughing gas before we started.  Every few moments this process was repeated.  After the procedure he explained to me that it helps take the patients focus of the ‘discomfort’ they are feeling in their tooth and he tries to get them to really focus on other things.  As the pain pills started to kick in I began to formulate some brilliant ideas.  Some were interesting things you could do with rum, but I’ll save those for if you come visit me at the bar.  No the whole concept of focus and the power it can have came into a crystal clear euphoria.  How many of us have been in a disagreement with someone close to us?  Ok, I think that pretty much covers everyone.  Even if you think the world of the person you are in the disagreement with, all you can think about is what they have done to upset you.  How about suddenly trying to recall the last thing they did that made you very happy.  Would that change the course of the discussion? When we are in a disagreement with people it can be borderline impossible to remember all the fun we may have shared.  Has this every happened to you, you have a disagreement with your husband or wife.  Suddenly you notice every thing they do seems to annoy you to know end?  It all has to do with the state we are in.  When we are thinking or stewing on some difference of opinion, we seem to notice every little thing that bothers us about that person.  So how to change this.  I would start by thinking of the people you are most likely to get in a heated discussion with. Usually, ironically these tend to be those closest to us.  Start by composing a list, either mental, or written.  I suggest written because when you are in the middle of an argument it can be hard to get off that track.  You might even just randomly mention to them how much you appreciate those things. Then when discord pops up, you have a list to refer to in order to change your state.  Having that opposition helps you better maintain a rational mindset in the face of anger or sadness.  In the next blog we will examine how to apply this technique to other areas of your life.

WHEN WE HAVE NO CONTROL..

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves”

-Viktor Frankl

Often I am asked “How can I be expected to live a positive motivated life when I am surrounded by all these negative people at work?” or “How can I remain positive and motivated when my loved one just passed away?”  Again I am here to be the first to tell you this blog is not about being happy 100% of the time.  It is about being happier and being so more often.  There will be times in our lives that situations happen beyond our control.  That is when we are forced to grow.  When our emotional fortitude is strengthened. When we are forced to look for a deeper meaning than what lies on the surface.  You have heard the saying “We can’t control our circumstances we can just control how we react to them”  As the quote above indicates there are times when there will be nothing we can do to change our situations.  Sure you could always quit your job and go looking for another.  You better not be a single parent or like eating very much though.  Once a loved one has passed on there is nothing we can do to bring them back.  That quote actually came from the author of a book entitled “Man’s Search for Meaning”.  Viktor Frankl was a prisoner in a Nazi death camp with his family.  He was spared from the gas chambers, but had the terrible job of removing all of the dead bodies.  Some of which were his friends and relatives.  Now I realize this may not be all that inspiring, but my point is very few of us face a situation that tough.  This man did.  He knew that he could not single-handedly change that situation.  What he could do was change what it meant in his own mind.  He used his goal of being able to survive to be able to tell his story to both prevent something that terrible from happening again as well as to show others they have the power to impart meaning to any situation they face.  So next time life gives us a challenge, remember it is not only our chance to grow, but our chance to look for the beauty, to look for the empowering meaning.

YOU MAY NEVER KNOW…

Yesterday marked the end of a very important issue in my life.  a few years ago I was all but forced to take out a loan for $11,000.  Yesterday I made the final payment to finish off that loan.  Although that is indeed reason to celebrate, and I shall, it is not the reason for this post.  No, what I wish to discuss today is how I came to have that debt in the first place.  The year was 2009, after several great years at the post office things began to unravel.  That year began the uneasiness that continues to this day.  One day you may have a job, one day you may not.  One week 40 hours, one week 4 hours.  So the stress of not knowing where the money may be coming from day-to-day really gives you an opportunity to test your faith in the universe.  Well, add to that a letter I received right before christmas.  Like many Americans I had credit card debt.  In relation to my income at the time is was incurred it was not much, but with my job situation shaky at best it became oppressive.  Just the same, I never missed a payment and at the very least managed to make the minimum payment.  So imagine my shock when I read in the fine print I believe they do not expect you to read, that my interest rate was going from 9% to 19.9%! Knowing that would raise my minimum payment to something I may not be able to afford, I called the company and asked why my interest was being more than doubled if I had never missed a payment in 7 years.  The answer took me by surprise “Not everyone pays like you” the lady on the other end said.  For clarification I inquired whether I was being asked to pay more to make up for the companies loss on those who didn’t pay. “If that’s the way you choose to see it” was her reply. I was dumb-founded. So I attempted to bargain with her “how about 12%? 13?” the answer was a firm ‘no’.  Then I had one of those moments where words come out of my mouth without traveling through the brain.  I swear it goes right from the vocal cords to someone else’s ears. In this case the words were “Then I shall take my business elsewhere”.  To which the helpful customer service rep said “Well do what you have to” I million thoughts raced through my mind ‘How can a company turn away business like that?’ ‘where is the other place I am going to take this debt?’ Who would give me a card with the limit to cover the debt and a lower interest rate?’ ‘What if I lose my job and can’t pay any of it?’ Looking back I realize i was focusing on the all the problems, and potential problems, and not on the solution. I felt life was being so unfair.   The company I worked so hard for the last 13 years seemed to care less about my well-being, the credit card company I faithfully paid for the last 7 was pretty much the same. While venting this to one of my favorite bankers, who also happens to be my mother, she simply said, “why not get a loan?” great idea except I had to collateral and a job that couldn’t be counted on. She said “let me sleep on it” The next day she agreed to put up some of her assets as collateral and we went to the bank and I signed for a loan for $11,000.  Now other than reminding me what an amazing mother I had, this brought a whole new set of worry.  If I had defaulted on the credit card it would reflect bad on me, now if I don’t make the loan payment it would reflect on my mother as well.  Not only did that spur me on to pay it off quickly, but my interest rate was far lower than the initial credit card rate.  So as I wrote the final check today, I realized something. Had that world not been so ‘unfair’ that year, had the post office not cut my hours, had the credit card company not raised my rate, or even settled for one of my offers, or if the customer service lady on the phone been nicer, I still would have that debt.  So it took 4 years, but I realized several blessings out of what seemed like one of the darkest periods. Remember, without the rain, we would not appreciate the sunshine so greatly!

ARE YOU SUCCESSFUL?

For years I always wondered what the secret to success was.  I read books to learn.  Listened to cds, went to seminars and workshops trying to find this elusive piece of inspiration.  Never quite felt that ‘I had it’.  So I began to listen to friends, co-workers and customers who I felt embodied success.  Strangest thing was, a lot of them said they were unsuccessful and searching for the secret to success as well.  It was quite by accident, or perhaps fate, that this all changed.  I stumbled upon this secret when I asked one of these people whom I considered quite successful what I considered a simple question. What is the definition of success?  He looked at me quizzically and replied “you know I don’t really know”.  The fact was, neither did I.  How on earth was I ever to find the secret of success when I didn’t even have a personal definition of what it meant to me.  Ask yourself, what does success mean to you?  Is it being a caring parent?  A loving spouse perhaps?  obtaining a certain income or place in your business?  Although these are all very worthwhile goals they all have one fatal flaw.  After you reach them, then what?  Are you then successful?  Is the game over?

Allow me to share with you the best definition of success I have ever heard.  It was from Earl Nightingale. Long before the movie ‘The Secret” or law of attraction was so in fashion,  Earl was the first person to ever receive a gold record for spoken word.  The piece was called “the Strangest Secret” I encourage you all to check it out.  In it, Mr Nightingale describes success as this  “The progressive realization of a worthy ideal”.  What does this mean exactly?  Well let us take the goal of being a great parent.  If that is your goal and you are working towards it, then by all accounts you are a success.  Now what if you make a mistake?  Well that is part of the journey as well, we learn from our mistakes.  So you are even more of a success.  Let me get a little more personal.  My goal is to have a daily blog that is viewed across the globe (six countries so far) that brings positivity and a rewarding life to all who read it.  I also am working on a book of the same design.  Now does that mean I will only be a success when my book is printed and my blog is read in every country?  Not hardly.  I have my goal and am working toward it,  so now I consider myself a success.

So today think about your goal.  What is your life’s ambition.  Write it down so you can see it every day.  Keep in your mind’s eye as you go about your day.  Know as soon as you do this you are already a success. Soon paths that you never would have seen shall open up and you will be on your way. If you need a little encouragement or a good solid plan I suggest you check out “The Strangest Secret” available at nightingale.com.  Here’s to all of us being a success!

WAKING UP IN NEUTRAL

What kind of day are you going to have today?  About 90% of people will answer that question with “I don’t know” or some form there of.  After all, how do we know if the alarm will go off at the right time?  How traffic will be on the way to work?  What mood the boss will be in?  Simple answer, we don’t.  Then why, day after day to we give the power over to situations?  To often we let circumstances beyond our control dictate how we will feel about our day and to some extent ourselves.  When you stop and think about it, that really is a foolish idea.  So what to do?  Stop ‘waking up in neutral’!  At night when you go to sleep say to yourself, or even better out loud “Tomorrow will be a great day” if anyone asks you why, be honest.  Say “I don’t know, it just will”. Then when you wake up repeat that statement.  Repeat it as often as you can throughout the day, but especially early in the day.  You make the decision how your day is going to go.  Don’t leave it up to others, especially those who may not know or even care how your day goes.  It may surprise you how effective this will be.  Like anything else it may take a while to get used to, but stick with it.  Take back control of your life! Then when the inevitable challenges do arise, you will know that even though the situation may not be exactly to your liking it will still be a good day.  This often separates the happy from the unhappy.  Don’t believe me?  I’ll leave you with this quote from a former first lady.

“The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances”

-Martha Washington

So let’s get out there and make it an amazing day!