My fourth book will be dedicated to taking you from a life of striving, to one of thriving. As we all waitfor the release of this future bestseller, I wanted to get you a tip many of us skip over.
In our busy working world, we can become so focused on what we have to ‘do’ and ‘overcome’ that we forget to give attention to what we want to ‘be’and who we want to ‘become’. Which is why we are doing and overcoming those things in the first place.
Today, take a few minutes to focus on the goals and dreams you are working for. It will not only strengthen your drive, but refresh your spirit.It will also give you a moments break from all of the challenges.
This gent is Jocko Willink. One of the people I listen to for strategy and tools for improving myself. As a former Navy Seal, he has learned some valuable lessons. His book, Discipline Equals Freedom, is a must read for anyone looking to take charge of their life. He also has some very helpful YouTube videos I would recommend checking out. It was in one of these very videos that I got the idea for today’s post. In the video, Jocko discusses people’s need for constant motivation. Personally, I surround myself with as many motivating tools as I can. From pictures to playlists, I do my best to always have something motivating at arm’s length. It is so easy to slip, that I think we could always use a helping hand.
The point of his video was that he did not like what the words ‘self-improvement’, ‘self-help’ and ‘motivation’ have come to mean. In today’s world, rather than spend time working on themselves, people spend that time looking for a hack, or quick fix that requires very little effort. The time they spent looking for this hack, could have been spent in diligent effort on long-lasting improvement. When he came to the word ‘motivation’ that’s when something clicked. He mentioned that people think this means having someone acting as a cheerleader or standing behind them yelling at them to push forward. That is not at all what it means.
If you take the word ‘motivation’ apart, it means to find, or have, a motive. In other words, knowing your ‘why’. I heard a saying once that the difference between a warrior and a soldier is that a soldier fights because he hates who is front of him, but a warrior fights because he loves who is behind him. When you are reminded why you started your goal in the first place, and what you have to lose if you fail to achieve it, that is the best motivation.When you are working out, if you think of how important it is to be healthy to be around for those you love and who depend on you, it will be a lot easier to do that extra rep.
In addition to that playlist you have in your phone, on top of that speech you listen to in order to get fired up, remember to discover your motive. This will keep you going when all else fails.
It is estimated that we have 60,000 thoughts a day. It may be hard to imagine, but when you think of how much our brain jumps from one thought to the next, it really shouldn’t be. As an author, I think that number might even be double.
This year, let us focus on making a good percentage of those thoughts positive and empowering. According to the national science foundation, 80% of our thoughts are negative. Somehow, that is the human default. Scary part is, 95% of our thoughts are repetitive. If you are keeping score at home, 80% of what we think is negative and we repeat that 95% of the time. Is it any wonder our lives are not ones of overwhelming joy and fulfillment?
This year, take some time, even 5 minutes a day, to relax and focus on something positive. I would recommend starting with things you are grateful for. Then even try adding thingsyou are looking forward to. Let us make this year one where we defy the numbers and have more positive thoughts and repeat them!
When I was growing up, multi-tasking was the ‘in’ thing to do. Sadly, there is nothing that ruins productivity more. Firstly, you can’t truly work on multiple tasks at the same time. Our brains are not wired for that. Even if I had 2 computers going at the same time, I could not write both my books and my blogs at the same time. They would end up coming out in a language that does not even exist. If I were to write a book for 5 minutes, then switch to my blog writing computer and let us throw in running over to my microphone to add an episode to the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. What kind of quality content do you think I would be putting out? It would be garbage. I would be chasing 2, or in this case 3, rabbits and end up catching none.
A far better course of action is to become laser-focused on one activity, finish it and become focused on the next. Do you know how long it takes the brain, on average, to regain focus? The answer is 23 minutes. Now, if we are constantly switching from one task to another we are never fully in focus on any one of them. In the end, this will cost us both time and productivity. Just at the point where we are getting in focus and our brains are adjusting to the task we are working on, we switch gears. This makes little to no sense. Let us look at an even better example.
I like trees, and I hope none are harmed in the reading of this post, but the point should be pretty clear. When we are multi-tasking, we are hitting that tree in a 1000 different places. When we are focusing our efforts and hitting that tree 1000 times in the same spot, we will accomplish our goal in a far quicker time. Think of this next time you want to work on a million projects at the same time.
Let us begin to train our focus to work on one thing at a time. We will not only use our brains to their greatest potential, we will accomplish a lot more and do it in a far shorter amount of time. By developing this habit, we will make the coming year the most productive, and a lot less stressful, year that we have had in a long time.
The title of this post may sound a bit critical. To some men it may sound far worse than that. Fear not. There is a benign but still very important meaning to this. It has to do with one of the most important, and powerful, aspects of self-improvement – goal setting. You hear a lot about the importance of goals from many people in many places. Even the bible says, “Without a vision, the people parish.” A vision, is just another name for a goal. Here is the tricky bit. Most of us set goals based on the person we are. This may sound logical. How could we set goals for a person we are not? What is meant in the photo above, is we have to set goals that will force us to grow and become more than who we are.
One of my main passions is to encourage others to share their stories. EVERYONE has a story that would inspire many if they only shared it. Whether that is to show someone how to improve their lives, or just let them know they are not alone in the struggles they face, every single person can be a hero to many. That includes you. One of the responses that I often hear when putting this forth, is “I can’t write a book/start a YouTube channel/write a blog.” The reasons are varied, but include not having enough time. Not being disciplined enough. Not knowing anything about those activities. These excuses may be valid, but only in regards to who you are now. My friend Kurt recently completed his first book. As we was writing it, he learned and developed many new skills. The person he was when he was done, was not the person who started the project. He had grown and developed a whole new set of skills. His book, Nothing is Everything, is definitely worth a read!
Setting goals can be a scary endeavor. There is the thought of how you might feel if you do not reach the goal. Which is better, to fail or to fail to try? Two very important things to remember. If you work towards your goal and fall short of completing it, you have not failed, you have learned and can attempt it again, only full of more knowledge. I like this next fact. When they interviewed people who were close to the end of their lives, the number one regret was not the goals they didn’t reach. It was not even the mistakes they made. The number one regret was the things they did not try. Let that sink in. Do you want to reach the end of your life and regret all of the things you could have done and who you could have been? If my words were not enough to inspire you, allow me to leave you with this great thought attributed to Dr. Howard Thurman.
This past Monday was a bit crazy for me. Margie and I ran our DJ show Sunday night until early Monday morning. My alarm for work went off at 4am. When that happened, I had only had a little over 2 hours of sleep. I put in a 9 hour day at my day job. It was an unusually nice day out, weather wise. On the way home, I spoke with my mother who inquired if I would like to go for a little hike. Deciding to take advantage of the sunshine and good weather while it was here, I agreed. We hiked for 2.3 miles. After that, I knew I had to create some content for this site. (Hearing this may help you understand some of my typos that can be found.) I stopped at the local coffee shop with barely enough strength to open my laptop.
How on earth was I going to be able to create anything worthwhile? That was the million-dollar question. There was an idea I had been looking forward to writing about. Several in this case. As I began to write, the strangest thing began to happen. As I related personal examples of the tools and strategies I was conveying, things began to click. Not just for the post itself, but my writing and my life in general. The more I wrote, the more clarity seemed to come. While it is true I drank a medium coffee, my energy began to climb through the roof! I had promised Margie I would be home in time to joy the amazing Jerk Chicken she had prepared for us, so I closed my laptop and called it a night.
On the way to the car, I think I actually floated. As I drove home, the Michael Franti songs I were listening to also seemed to make more sense. Everything had a sense of clarity I had not had in a great deal of time. I sang along to the music at the top of my lungs. Thankfully for the other motorists, the weather had cooled off by this point and my car windows were closed. I arrived home and felt sorry for the love of my life. I was keyed up! Bouncing around at the prospect of finally knowing how my fourth book was going to come together. I had a lot more confidence on the message I would deliver at my next speaking engagement. Life seemed to all make sense.
I am not advocating sleeping 2 hours, working 9 and then hiking 2.3 miles. When it comes to my life, I would not recommend following my sleeping habits at all. What I cannot recommend strongly enough is to make sure you devote a portion of your life to your goals and dreams. Do not only do it when you find yourself with ‘extra time’. Do not wait until you are well rested. Do not wait until you have a day off, or finally take your vacation. Like the picture above says, do not work 8 hours for a company and then go home and not work on your goals. You will be amazed at the energy working on something that feeds your passion will give you. Plus, who would want to argue with The Rock?
If you have been in the self-improvement arena for any length of time, you have undoubtedly seen this picture. It is worth another reminder here at the midweek point. We never know how close we are. Our goal may just be one more away.
This could be one more call, one more email. At the gym it could be one more workout before we start seeing and feeling the results. In our relationship, it could be one more “I love you” to melt the heart of the one we love. Don’t give up! Remember, results could be one more away.
This weekend, what actions are you going to take to build both your life and your confidence? Remember, these don’t have to be completing a project, or achieving a goal, just taking actions to propel yourself forward. It is getting in the gym to get that workout done. It is spending time on that meal prep. It might not get you in shape, or help you drop that weight that day, but it will give you the confidence to keep going.
Many of us concern ourselves with being powerful. We try to control situations as much as we are able. Some of us even try to control others. Those are fools endeavors. You will never be able to fully control any situation. There are just too many variables and doing so will only add stress to it. Controlling others is not only morally incorrect, but it leads to resentment and loss of respect. If we wish to be truly powerful, we should focus solely on controlling ourselves.
When we allow someone to affect our emotional state, they in turn become our master. If we put the key to our happiness in someone else’s pocket, true happiness will be a door that forever remains locked. Our emotions are powerful. Our mind is beyond powerful. It is up to us to control and direct that power to a worthwhile end. If we do not, it will be at the whim of outside circumstances. Our live will feel out of control, and worse than that, it actually will be.
This is not a state secret. The mind is a very powerful force. The constant conversation existing there can either be encouraging, or limiting. We can be filled with confidence, or with doubt. The difference is having control of our mind. How do we get control of our mind? There are many ways. Meditation is one. Learning to harness all of our runaway thoughts. To strengthen the mind/body connection so that we may use it for healing instead of sickness. Another way to control our minds is developing discipline. Many people think this is just for overachievers. Not so. Your mind will forever convince you that you have earned that binge watching session on the couch. Maybe you have. Delaying immediate gratification for accomplishment of long-term goals means you will not be a slave to your desires.
You may be asking yourself what the big deal is in all of this. Who cares if I take an extra break? Would not life be more enjoyable spending extra time in pleasure activities? It would be…if we earn them. To know that our paper isn’t written, or our housework is not done will be a constant source of stress no matter how hard we work to ignore it. Think you are pulling one over on the boss by taking an extra break? For several reasons this is not so. The obvious one is that you will be one of the first employees to go when the company hits hard times. Even worse is the knowledge that you are getting paid for more than you are doing. Your coworkers could see it. Your boss certainly might notice. Even if you manage to fool all of them, the loss of pride and self-realization that you are not being the best version of yourself at whatever endeavor you are engaged in, will haunt you when you are alone.
Today, do not give in to the voices in your head. Become the master and not the mastered. You deserve to bring the best of you, not only to the world, but to whatever you are doing. Put off immediate gratification. Remember the long term goal. It may not seem as ‘fun’ but it will leave you with a sense of pride in yourself that will feel better than any binge watching session or high-calorie indulgence you may be considering. You can do this. You got this!
In life, it can be easy to confuse battles with wars. What exactly does this mean? Our goals are like a war to win. In the journey to achieve them, we must fight several battles. My goal of reaches and serving as many souls with my writing is one that has its ups and downs. My first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, was a great success. It has sold roughly 5000 copies and is owned by rockstars, movie stars and billionaires. Some have even sent me personal letters to thank me. My most recent book, The Beat Goes On, has not done nearly as well as I had hoped. Does that make me a failure as a writer? No, it just means that battle did not turn out as I had planned.
Just like in war, we can learn even more from our loses than from our successes. Many people think viewing their goals as a war to win seems a bit over the top. That viewing life as some sort of life or death struggle may be a bit too dramatic. I am here to tell you that life is a constant struggle for territory, as Les Brown likes to say. If you do not stay committed to living a positive rewarding life, those negative thoughts will start creeping in. If you do not stay dedicated to your health and fitness, those calories will start showing themselves in unflattering ways.
Even in these examples, there are wins and loses. You may lose your temper and snap at someone who does not deserve it. You may give in and have one of those doughnuts in the breakroom…or two. This does not mean you are a failure, or have lost the war. No, it simply means that you have lost a battle. Use that to motivate you. Use it to learn from. The more battles you win, the sooner you will win the war.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 