If you have been in the self-improvement arena for any length of time, you have undoubtedly seen this picture. It is worth another reminder here at the midweek point. We never know how close we are. Our goal may just be one more away.
This could be one more call, one more email. At the gym it could be one more workout before we start seeing and feeling the results. In our relationship, it could be one more “I love you” to melt the heart of the one we love. Don’t give up! Remember, results could be one more away.
This weekend, what actions are you going to take to build both your life and your confidence? Remember, these don’t have to be completing a project, or achieving a goal, just taking actions to propel yourself forward. It is getting in the gym to get that workout done. It is spending time on that meal prep. It might not get you in shape, or help you drop that weight that day, but it will give you the confidence to keep going.
Many of us concern ourselves with being powerful. We try to control situations as much as we are able. Some of us even try to control others. Those are fools endeavors. You will never be able to fully control any situation. There are just too many variables and doing so will only add stress to it. Controlling others is not only morally incorrect, but it leads to resentment and loss of respect. If we wish to be truly powerful, we should focus solely on controlling ourselves.
When we allow someone to affect our emotional state, they in turn become our master. If we put the key to our happiness in someone else’s pocket, true happiness will be a door that forever remains locked. Our emotions are powerful. Our mind is beyond powerful. It is up to us to control and direct that power to a worthwhile end. If we do not, it will be at the whim of outside circumstances. Our live will feel out of control, and worse than that, it actually will be.
This is not a state secret. The mind is a very powerful force. The constant conversation existing there can either be encouraging, or limiting. We can be filled with confidence, or with doubt. The difference is having control of our mind. How do we get control of our mind? There are many ways. Meditation is one. Learning to harness all of our runaway thoughts. To strengthen the mind/body connection so that we may use it for healing instead of sickness. Another way to control our minds is developing discipline. Many people think this is just for overachievers. Not so. Your mind will forever convince you that you have earned that binge watching session on the couch. Maybe you have. Delaying immediate gratification for accomplishment of long-term goals means you will not be a slave to your desires.
You may be asking yourself what the big deal is in all of this. Who cares if I take an extra break? Would not life be more enjoyable spending extra time in pleasure activities? It would be…if we earn them. To know that our paper isn’t written, or our housework is not done will be a constant source of stress no matter how hard we work to ignore it. Think you are pulling one over on the boss by taking an extra break? For several reasons this is not so. The obvious one is that you will be one of the first employees to go when the company hits hard times. Even worse is the knowledge that you are getting paid for more than you are doing. Your coworkers could see it. Your boss certainly might notice. Even if you manage to fool all of them, the loss of pride and self-realization that you are not being the best version of yourself at whatever endeavor you are engaged in, will haunt you when you are alone.
Today, do not give in to the voices in your head. Become the master and not the mastered. You deserve to bring the best of you, not only to the world, but to whatever you are doing. Put off immediate gratification. Remember the long term goal. It may not seem as ‘fun’ but it will leave you with a sense of pride in yourself that will feel better than any binge watching session or high-calorie indulgence you may be considering. You can do this. You got this!
In life, it can be easy to confuse battles with wars. What exactly does this mean? Our goals are like a war to win. In the journey to achieve them, we must fight several battles. My goal of reaches and serving as many souls with my writing is one that has its ups and downs. My first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, was a great success. It has sold roughly 5000 copies and is owned by rockstars, movie stars and billionaires. Some have even sent me personal letters to thank me. My most recent book, The Beat Goes On, has not done nearly as well as I had hoped. Does that make me a failure as a writer? No, it just means that battle did not turn out as I had planned.
Just like in war, we can learn even more from our loses than from our successes. Many people think viewing their goals as a war to win seems a bit over the top. That viewing life as some sort of life or death struggle may be a bit too dramatic. I am here to tell you that life is a constant struggle for territory, as Les Brown likes to say. If you do not stay committed to living a positive rewarding life, those negative thoughts will start creeping in. If you do not stay dedicated to your health and fitness, those calories will start showing themselves in unflattering ways.
Even in these examples, there are wins and loses. You may lose your temper and snap at someone who does not deserve it. You may give in and have one of those doughnuts in the breakroom…or two. This does not mean you are a failure, or have lost the war. No, it simply means that you have lost a battle. Use that to motivate you. Use it to learn from. The more battles you win, the sooner you will win the war.
Friday, we made it through another week! In all of our lives we have those monsters. It could be a demanding boss. It could be that relative that looks down on us. Anyone in our lives looking for us to fail. Those who are jealous of us. Those who are just unhappy with their own lives. Maybe it is just our inner demons, telling us we can’t succeed.
Like Frank Sinatra said, “The best revenge is massive success.” Of blue eyes was on to something there. Smiling in the face of any monster, be it internal or external, is the greatest victory. You might be asking, “Neil, what if my week was not a success?” Great question. Even if your week has been a total dumpster fire, you are still here. You made it through and there is still the potential for success.
Earl Nightingale gave us this definition of success, “success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” The key word is progressive. As long as you are still working towards your goal, YOU are a success. Enjoy your Friday. Smile at the monster.
So many books, movies and philosophies are concerned with the meaning of life. I guess it is good to ponder the direction one’s life is going. Do you know what is infinitely better? Creating it!
This weekend, if you haven’t already, take some time to get clear as to what the meaning of your life is going to be. This doesn’t matter if you are 18 or 80. As the saying goes, “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today. ”
Getting clear, for the first time perhaps, as to what the purpose of your life is, will have amazing benefits! Stress will be reduced. Energy will be increased. Indecision will be a thing of the past. You will have a definite idea of what is right and wrong for your life. Most importantly, you will be able to decipher if you are going in the right direction or not. If not, you will be able to take corrective actions.
With all of these benefits, and more, isn’t spending some time deciding what the purpose of your life worth it? In fact, it is worth its weight in gold!
Today’s post may seem like a no brainer and it really is. If you want your life to change, you will have to make some changes. If you want your life to get better, you are going to have to get better. I believe Jim Rohn said something like that quite often. What are these changes that we must make? More to the point, how can way maintain the discipline to continue to make them even when the motivation to do so has long faded away? The answer to both is to think backwards. What I mean by that is to get crystal clear on the result you are after. This will make both discovering the changes that need to be made as well as sticking to them a lot easier.
Now that I have found the Jim Rohn quote, let us look at a few examples. Let us say the result is that you would like a better body by this time next year. What changes would you have to make? The clearer you are on the specifics of those changes, the better. At the very least, write the result you are seeking on the top of a piece a paper and the changes you are willing to make underneath. This could include engaging in physical activity at least 3 times a week for 30 minutes. This goal is a lot more powerful than “Move more.” How about changing your eating habits? Instead of writing “Eat better”, try not eating after 7pm. Maybe add have 3 servings of vegetables a day.
This works especially well if your life is a total dumpster fire at this point. Changing your focus on what result you would like to see in your life is a great first step in turning it all around. As you are working towards this result, you can ask yourself the thought-provoking question, “Is this action going to take me closer to, or further away from my result?” That may allow you to pause before having one of those free doughnuts in the breakroom, or telling your friend that you can’t make it to the gym. I find it is also helpful to have measurable points along the way. If your goal is to lose 30 pounds by next year, it would help you to break that down by 12 to see how much you should be losing each month. That would be 2.5 pounds a month in this case. If we only think about 30 pounds a year from now, one doughnut may not seem that big of a deal. When we know we have to lose 2.5 pounds in the next 30 days, it becomes a little more of a big deal. Same with skipping the workout.
Pick your result and write it at the top of a piece of paper. Then, list the changes you will need to make in order to reach that result. Be prepared to do what Jim Rohn said – If you want your life to be better, you must get better. If you want your life to change, you must be willing to change.
As you can see, here at secret2anamazinglife.com, we are celebrating 400 days straight of bringing you motivational and inspirational content. Technically, we are on vacation right now. Even while enjoying the bliss that is time away from the daily grind we must still keep our goals firmly in sight. In this case, that is sharing a post everyday this year.
How about you? What goals are you pursuing? What are the likely distractions that could get you off course? Even by writing them down, you are more likely to overcome them because you will be on the lookout for them. This week, focus on your goals. Hopefully you already have those writtendown. If not, do so right away. Also write down distractions that may tripyou up so you can be on the lookout for them as well.
I want to share a story about a farmer with you. There was a young man who wanted to be a farmer. He thought it would be an easy endeavor. “All you do is plant the seed and the crop comes.” He believed all he would have to do was work one time and he would reap the rewards as long as the crop grew. He bought some seeds and quickly put them in the ground. Then he proceeded to relax in the knowledge that soon the crop would come and he would be rich.
A few days went by and there was no crop to speak of. Concerned the young farmer went out and dug up the seeds to see why they were not growing. The few he found had not even sprouted. He put them back in the ground and began to impatiently wait some more. A few more days; still no plants. He decided the seeds he had got where no good and went back in town to complain to the seed store where he had purchased them. “Those seeds were just fine.” the man behind the counter informed him. “Farmer John bought the same seeds and already has a crop coming in.” Informed he would not get his money back, he decided to start bad-mouthing the store and its owner to everyone in town. Within a few minutes he ran into farmer John. “What kind of soil did you plant those seeds in? Was it properly tilled?” farmer John asked him. The man said he had just placed the seeds in the land behind his house. “Did you at least water and fertilize them?” Farmer John asked. The young farmer looked down as he confessed ignorance to knowing that he was required to do that. “Oh yes. Not to mention you must look out for the weeds and the insects that will come to ruin your crop once it starts growing.” farmer john offered. The young farmer just walked away meekly complaining about the bad seeds he was sold.
This farmer may sound like a complete idiot. Perhaps he should have learned about farming and what was involved before getting started. He should have not have been looking for the easy way out. Before we pass judgement on our young farmer friend, let us make sure we do not have more in common with him that we think. How many of us are looking for an opportunity to take the easy road in life? Whether that is playing the lottery, hitting up the casino or buying into some get rich quick scheme? Maybe we even think starting our own business is the way to riches.
For every budding entrepreneur, there are a million who dive in planting seeds without testing or tilling the soil. That is, they start businesses without knowledge of what is really involved. They do not develop their own self-discipline and work ethic. They do not craft a solid business plan. They do not research markets and set a good foundation. They also are not patient to understand the time it may take to succeed. They are like our young farmer digging up seeds they just planted. They move from one opportunity to another. They also do not take the time to invest in their endeavors. Putting in the effort. They think they can just put in effort one time and it will succeed. This makes no more sense than skipping the watering and fertilizing like our young farmer. What about preparing for those pesky weeds and insects? In every endeavor we embark on, there will be challenges and people who will be obstacles on our path to success. If we are not prepared for that, it will destroy our crop as farmer John warned.
How about you? Are you taking all the steps necessary to be a successful farmer? Are you setting a foundation to make sure your undertaking has the best possibility to succeed, or are you just starting anywhere? Once you have begun, are you willing to put in the work even after you start seeing results? How about those insects and weeds, or negative people and challenges, that will show up? To you have a plan in place to deal with them, or will you let them destroy your crop you have worked so hard on? Be a smart farmer. Be like farmer John.
*Side note – my grandfather’s name was John and he was a farmer as a young man.
Our lives are a constant balancing act. We must make sure to balance enough self-care and relaxation with our efforts to create and maintain the life we desire. That equation changes daily. Some days we work more and some days we recharge more.
One temptation on the weekend is to throw that scale 100% in the direction of relaxation. After all, you did just work hard all week right? I am one for making the most out of the time we have for recharging. Especially after we earn it. Just as spending all of our time working is not healthy for us, neither is 100% relaxation.
Working all the time without recharging will lead to burnout and a host of physical problems. Spending of our time on leisure activities will lead to us falling behind on our dreams and leave us feeling frustrated and even disappointed in ourselves.
This weekend, just do one thing that will bring you closer to your goals. Remember, most people do not work on the weekends. If you want a life that is more amazing than the average person, you will need to put in a little work. I would love to hear what one thing you will do this weekend to bring you closer to your goals!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 