What an important reminder. We know there are things in our lives that we need to change. We look in the mirror and see a little too much of us to love. We open our mouth and everything that comes out is not necessarily kind and encouraging. Our bank account seems to have the decimal point in the wrong place. These can all seem like tall orders to tackle. How do we transform our physique? How do we remember to speak life and hope to others? How can we turn around our finances?
Here is the important thing to consider, these issues did not occur in a day and so it may take some time to turn them around. Do not let that discourage you. Quite the opposite. I am guilty of this myself. We look at how long it may take to achieve the end state and give up before we begin. It is so vital to remember all of the small wins you will experience along the way. You cannot solve the problem in one day, but you can begin to turn things around. Introduce one healthy meal or snack into your diet. Go for a walk after dinner. Share one genuine compliment a day. Start an automatic savings plan. All of these may not seem like much at the time, but they will grow into success.
Perhaps the most important thing is to keep yourself inspired. It can seem overwhelming when things may not seem to be happening at the rate you had planned, or maybe even take a step back. It is important to keep a source of inspiration nearby. Perhaps reading this blog every day.Keep those little reminders present because there will still be times life seems overwhelming, and you need to be reminded… one at a time.
I have written about this in the past, and even done a YouTube video about it. (check out my channel at Neil Panosian) It is so important it needs repeating. Do you want a life that is better than most? Do you want to live a life that is filled with more happiness than most? Than decide to! This really shouldn’t be a secret, but for some reason it remains so to many.
When you ask most people if they are going to have a good day, they respond by telling you they do not know. Maybe they even are cautious and say, “We will have to wait and see?” Wait for what? If you are waiting to see if the world and the people in it will cooperate with you so that your day can be good, most of the time you will be disappointed. That means most of the time you will not be happy. That is how the majority of people on the planet live their life. They leave their happiness up to circumstances beyond their control.
What can we do to take back control from those circumstances and begin to choose to have a happy day? Let us look at what most people do when they start their day. Many lament the sound of the alarm, and often hit snooze so they can experience it yet again. They look at their phone and see what drama others in their life may have. They may even, if they are of the less informed, watch the news to discover all that is wrong with the world. Then, they ‘fight traffic’, go to a job they have been dreading and do the same on the way home. That is not the formula for a happy day.
Our goal is to pick rituals and an environment where a great day can’t help but blossom. What does this include? That is really up to you. It can be having inspiring things attached to your mirror like the lady in the picture above. It can be thinking of three things you are grateful for before you get out of bed. Listen to something inspiring on the way to work. That way, if you get stuck in traffic it is just more inspiration. Will this make all of your days sunshine and rainbows? Of course not. Starting the day with an intention and determination for happiness does a lot more than leaving it up to chance.
How about you? What will you do to create a great day instead of leaving it up to chance? What rituals or environment to you have that helps start your day in the right direction? Please share with us so we can all benefit. If you are so inspired, click the link below to check out my YouTube video I filmed years ago on this very subject.
This quote is a great reminder in a world focused on material and status accomplishment. While that is great, it is what you have gone through to get there that is impressive. Your persistence in accomplishing your goal is what makes you who you are. Trying to eat better and accidentally slip and fall and a doughnut lands in your mouth? That could be enough for most people to beat themselves up and go back to eating junk. If you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and grab a salad for lunch, you are my kind of hero.
Please do not under value the fortitude it takes to keep pushing after a setback. It is something that defines character, internal strength and gives us the ability to handle difficulty in the future. If you have ever fallen and got back up, remember you are the hero. You deserve the glory. Keep fighting. It is within that fight that the glory lives.
Today’s post is a combination of a lot of great sources. It also contains one of the great secrets to turn your life from one you just have, to one you love. If you are looking for more of these, my book Living the Dream, is full of them. I will leave a link for it at the end of the post. What is great about this strategy is that it is free, anyone can do it, and the more upside down your life seems to be, the better it will work for you. All that is required is a single change in perception. While this is certainly simple, it takes a bit of practice to get the hang of.
The first source of inspiration was my mother. After a nice 3 mile walk through the park, as seen above, we stopped to enjoy an iced coffee. While relaxing and taking in some sun, she mentioned this plaque she had seen. It mentioned something about turning your challenges into blessings. I fail to remember the exact words. This is the great secret. Do not be tempted to discount such a powerful tool. By seeing what we often think of as challenges in life as the blessings they often are, it can change our entire emotional state.
As we discussed this subject, more examples jumped into my mind. This also shows my interest in a vast amount of subjects, but that is for another post. First was Bishop T.D. Jakes. I enjoy a lot of his thoughts, and am currently in the middle of reading one of his books. He said that a lot of people do not open the gifts God has given them because they do not like the wrapping paper. Ponder that for a second. How many times in our life do we reflect on what seems to be a challenge, or even a tragedy, and realize without it, we would not have received some very important good things? To further accent the point, some lyrics also popped into my head. Michael Franti sings a great song called Work Hard and Be Nice to People. One of the lyrics from that song states, “Take all of the lessons, add a little love and turn them into blessings.” With a little love, any situation can be used to help both us and the world around us.
The last example that came to my mind was that of David Blair. He was a British merchant seaman in the early 1900s. He was going to get a big pay day by being part of a crew on a new ship’s first voyage. At the last minute, another ship owned by the same company was held over for repairs. The crew from that ship was transferred to Blair’s ship and our good friend David was told to stay home. He was very mad that he was going to miss the prestige, the pay day and the experience of sailing on this ship. He was stuck on land. The ship he got kicked off of at the last moment? The Titanic. 1500 people lost their life on that ship and no doubt David Blaine would have been one. What looked like bad luck ended up saving his life.
As we can see in these examples, what often seems like misfortune can turn into some of the greatest blessings in our life. We cannot often see it at the time, but it pays to ask the question, “What is the blessing in this challenge?” it can turn the event around, turn your day around and turn your life around. Here is one final example about how bad luck can be good fortune generations later. My Great-grandmother was scheduled to sail over to America on the Titanic. For some reason that has been lost to time, she was unable to. No doubt disappointed at the time, it saved her life. That in turn allowed my life to be and you to be reading this post right now. How many challenges in your life have turned out to be blessings?
We discussed a few posts ago how chasing happiness is a fool’s errand. The comparison was of chasing a butterfly. It will only fly away. If you create an environment where a butterfly would like to be you will attract one to you. Same with happiness. It isn’t about finding it somewhere outside of you. It is not in the new car, the new house or even the new relationship. How many people do we hear of who have all of these and are still not happy. Instead of chasing these things, we would be better off creating and cultivating an environment where happiness flourishes.
How do we create our own ‘happiness garden’ to stick with the metaphor? Above are 5 great ideas to start with. Freeing our hearts of hatred we are holding on to certainly helps. It is impossible to feel both hatred and happiness at the same time. Not to mention, hatred is extremely bad for our health. The same can be said for worry. There was a study showing that 98% of everything we worry about is beyond our control or completely unnecessary. Why not spend that moment focused on gratitude? Live simply is another great way to create happiness. The less we require to be happy, the more likely we are to be so. A pretty simple equation. Give more. Giving really can be a secret to happiness. Giving not only brightens the day of the person you are giving to, but yours as well. That is a win/win situation. Those kinds of situations certainly create happiness. Expecting less, much like living simply, increases our chances of being happy.
Stop chasing happiness and focus on creating an environment where happiness flourishes. Try these 5 items to start. If you have any other suggestions, please share them in the comments below. Any ‘gardening tips’ for happiness will be appreciated by all.
Today is a rare and pleasant day. The sun is shining, there is a slight breeze and the world seems relaxed. I decided to venture out to a local coffee shop. I had planned to write blogs as I was due to create more. As I pulled up to the coffee shop, and with some urging from a conversation with my mother earlier, I decided to do a little light reading first. I am in the middle of a great book by Bill Bryson. I enjoy his offerings, even though he has never thanked me for the book I have sent him. Here is something crazy, I rarely do this.
Why is sitting out on a sunny day with a good book such a rare thing for me? It is too expensive. The cup of coffee is roughly $3. It includes a free refill making each cup only $1.50. The book was a gift, so that was not much at all. Why do I say it is so expensive? See if this sounds familiar to you. As I sat down to do something for simply pleasure, in this case reading, all of the things I needed to do popped into my head. I needed to write blogs. I needed to work on my fourth book. The house needs attending to. Just sitting and reading almost made me feel guilty. I was doing so at the expense at all of the things that I needed to accomplish.
Here is what is important to remember – you need moments like this. Just as you need diet and exercise to feed your body, and you need reading and learning to feed your mind, you also need simple pleasures to feed the spirit. If you are still feeling guilty, let me tell you something else that you can do while experiencing these simple pleasures. In our busy world, taking time for simple pleasures can seem like quite a luxury. Another thing that can seem impossible in our busy world is being present. This is extremely important to do while taking time to enjoy simple pleasures. If you just want to sit and listen to music, do that. Hear the music, feel the music. Do not fill your head with all of the thoughts that you have about what needs to be done, or problems in your life. Be present for your simple pleasures. Above is a list of simple pleasures for you to enjoy. Think about how you can be present and totally enjoy these brief vacations of the spirit in an otherwise chaotic world.
If taking a few moments for yourself makes you feel guilty, it may be a sign that you need to do it more. Remember, you are still doing some very important things while you are taking time for yourself. You are feeding your spirit. That is one third of your total being. You are also taking a moment to be totally present and that is a very valuable skill in today’s world. Pick a few of the items that speak to you off of the list above and give yourself some moments of simple pleasure today.
There is a lot to unpack here, and I hope to have these words make sense to you. If you are a student of self-improvement for any length of time, you have undoubtedly heard the story of the lion and the gazelle. It is a great way to view motivation. The gazelle is motivated by outside circumstances. In this case, the lion. If the lion is not there, he will continue to eat grass and chill. The lion, however, has an internal motivation – his hunger. Sure, maybe there is the thought about feeding the rest of the pack, but the driving force is his hunger. The same should be true in our lives. We should not only be motivated by outside circumstances, but by internal ones. Do we only study and improve ourselves when we think our job might be in jeopardy, or we do it because we are hungry to become the best version of ourselves?
The same is true with competition. We are not competing to be smarter than Bob, or more beautiful than Betty. We want to improve ourselves and become the best version of us that we can be. Not to mention, the world does not need another Bob or Betty. What the world needs is for us to be the most authentic and best versions of us that we can be. What is preventing us from doing that is also internal. It is not Bob, Betty, our spouse or our boss. No, it is our habits, our lack of consistent action. When we are trying to lose weight, it is not Little Debby’s fault that we eat a box of snack cakes. No, it is our lack of personal control.
This week, remember we are competing against that version of ourselves that wants to hold us back through laziness, lack of focus and lack of effort. Can we defeat the challenges of the old version of ourselves? That is the true competition. That is what we are up against.
If you did not read the last post, let me fill you in on what we are discussing. Margie surprised me with tickets to a Michael Franti concert. He is one of our favorite singers that we discovered together. It was in a city that was a little over an hour away, but she made it happen. If you are a fan of this blog and the motivational and inspirational material we discuss, I highly suggest you check out Michael Franti’s music.
We left shortly after I had gotten off of work and Margie had finished the cake she was creating that day. After the drive, we parked and wondered to a park nearby the concert area. Michael was taking time to hang out with fans. Sitting in the grass, playing his guitar and just enjoying a chance to meet people that would be going to the concert later. Not many musicians make such an effort to connect to the fans. He was also kind enough to take a picture with Margie and me, which you can see below. This was just the first of many good things that was conveyed during this experience.
The show had Stephen Marley, son of the late Bob Marley, as the opening act. Most of you know that I am a HUGE Bob Marley fan. Not only do I enjoy his music, but more importantly, the message that both he and the music convey. His son had that same great message as well as the same infectious spirit. Promoting a feeling of love and unity, he had the crowd singing along with his songs, as well as his fathers. This was impressive to me because his father passed away 43 years ago. This was longer than many of the concert goers had been living. Yet, they all sang along word for word. Proof that people gravitate towards messages of love and that our legacy can live on long after we do.
When Michael Franti was due to start, the show opened with a brief film recalling his challenging childhood and path to self-acceptance. Even better, the film wrapped up reminding us that not only are we 99% the same, but that the 1% difference we do have is something to be celebrated, and not something to divide us. This message was relayed many times during the show. It was best described by a personal example he gave. I think it rings true for many of us. See if you can relate.
He relayed that there are days he becomes so wrapped up in technology and social media that he ends up feeling drained. What he reads has him feeling as though the world is divided and full of hate. When he goes out and spends time with people, such as he did in the park before the show, he realizes there are plenty examples of people standing up for and loving each other. As he so wonderfully quipped, “We need less scroll and more soul.”
There were many lessons I walked away from after this show. Not only a feeling of a large group of people dedicated to love and acceptance of one another, but so much more. It was great to see someone who values those that support him in his creativity and allow him to tour the world. It is great to see a celebrity display both humility and well as gratitude. Not to mention the positive messages conveyed in both his music as well as that of Stephen Marley. Proof you can be both inspired and entertained at the same time.
Here is a picture of my lovely Margie and me from this past Thursday. She took me on a special date to a concert about an hour and a half away. It was a gentleman we both discovered and began listening to together. More on the concert next post. This post I would like to talk about the date itself and how much it meant and what it can teach us about relationships. It is my sincere wish that you not only enjoy this cute romantic tale, but use it to add a spark to your own relationship.
What makes our story so exciting is the fact that Margie and I are one of, if not the, busiest couples. I work 53 hours a week at my day job, write a blog a day for the last 700+ days, working on book four as well. Margie is a fabulous and talented cake designer who has more work than she has time for. She is also the cutest cake designer, but I might be a little biased on that point. Add to this we also DJ together on Sunday night and all too often, we barely have time for us. This makes the fact that she planned a fun evening of a concert, dinner and love that much more valuable.
In doing this date, there were several things that made it so heartwarming to me. First, was the fact she learned about it, knew I would enjoy the show and took action to get the tickets. Second, that she took time out of her crazy cake making schedule to go with me there. Lastly, that it was someone we had discovered together. Yes, the concert was amazing. Again, there will be a whole post about that tomorrow. What really made this special was all the fun things that went into creating this great memory.
When you are looking to create a special memory for you and someone else, you do not need to spend a great deal of money. What makes moments special is both the thought that goes into it, as well as the connection that is forms between the two of you. You could go to a really fancy dinner, but it would be more meaningful to go back to the place you went on your first date. On the way there listening to the song you first danced to. Maybe even wear the same fragrance you did on your first date. It is these seemingly little things that really are not so little. I know that I will be loving my lady for all she did on this date over and over again for a very long time. When I reflect on it in the future, I may not remember all the songs that were played, but I will remember all the love I experienced with her.
I have written about this in the past. I may have even used this very picture. It remains as true now as it has ever been. With all of the divisive political rhetoric, people searching for the most direct path to fortune and fame, and the lack of significance many people feel, we need to embrace this little lesson above. It will not only address all of the issue mentioned previously, it will also make the world a better place as a whole.
Want to solve the great political divide? Be a decent human and accept other people might hold different opinions than you. Further more, those opinions could be right for them and their beliefs. Want to look for the quickest path to fame? Find a need and fill it. The more people you can serve, the more you will be in demand. Providing life hacks, inspiring and empowering people or just being encouraging are great ways to start. If you feel that you are not very important, or wish to be more valuable to those you care about and the world around you, be a wonderful human being. Be a good listener. Treat everyone with compassion and understanding. Uplift the spirits of everyone you come in contact with. Do all of these and your presence will be coveted by kings and peasants alike. Everyone loves someone who makes them feel like the special individual they are.
Lastly, filling the world with one more good human being benefits us all. It is a blessing for those you interact with and an example from those observing you. It is perhaps the most rewarding career field you can go into. As the photo above mentions, there is very little competition.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 