I once heard someone say, “You are older than you have ever been and younger now than you will ever be again.” Sounds crazy, but if you ponder that, it is really true. How quickly can life be turned upside down? You could lose a physical ability you have today in an instant. A friend or relative could move away, or worse pass away. Every second is such a gift. Can you think back 10 years? What would you have done differently or wish you would have done? Realize the same will hold true 10 years from now. Live life to its fullest every second of every day.
I would love to hear some of your stories. What do you wish you would have done differently 10 years ago? What do you do to enjoy life in the present? What do you suggest for our readers that will help them enjoy their life more?
I have been waiting to have the time to sit down and write this post. Thank you for stopping in today at Secret2anamazinglife.com. Throughout our over 10 year run, the topic that comes up the most is gratitude. Some of you may even be rolling your eyes at the thought of yet another post about gratitude. The reason we post so much about this subject is that I firmly believe in order to change your life, you have to change your mindset. There is nothing that works with more speed and impact to change your mindset than gratitude.
In my 2 decades of work in the self-improvement field, I have shared this opinion to everyone who would listen. It is what changed my life for the better, and still does. If you use it, I promise it will do the same for you. What most people struggle with is believing that gratitude can do all of this, and how to use it in their own life. They think of people who are constantly preaching the gospel of gratitude as people who go through life ‘wearing rose-colored glasses’. That is not what true gratitude is about at all.
It is not believing that there is no weeds in the garden. Gratitude is realizing that in addition to the weeds, and sometimes in spite of them, wonderful plants and flowers bloom. It is also not just focusing on the plants and pretending there is no weeds. It is working on the weeds while caring for the plants. In case this metaphor is not perfectly clear, we will spell it out. The weeds are the challenges, or what is wrong in life. The plants and flowers represent what is right and good in our world. Just as a garden is rarely, if ever, free of weeds, our life is rarely if ever free of challenges. We must work on overcoming our challenges, while still being grateful for all that is good. You would not give up on a garden because there are a few weeds. You should not give up on life because there are challenges.
Developing an attitude of gratitude is one of the best things you can do for your life. It does not mean that you are denying or ignoring the challenges in life. You are making the bold stand that there is beauty in, and that life is worth while despite the challenges. It is often in the challenges that the true beauty and reasons to be grateful can be found.
I love this thought. With life as busy as it is, many of the simple joys get pushed on the back burner. It is not only time to rediscover them, but to make a point of adding them into our life. These can be simple, inexpensive things that make us smile. Let me give you an example.
Whenever I go to a coffee shop, I’m there for one of two purposes. I’m either there to write. This could be the very blog you are now reading, or working on my next book. The second purpose is to connect and enjoy the company of others. After 23 years of being a bartender, my favorite place to meet friends is a coffee shop.
What does this have to do with simple joys? Those things do give me joy. What i forgot is the simple pleasure of a cup of coffee and a good book. Just relaxing and reading. Deadlines always looming, it makes it hard not to feel guilty about this simple pleasure. It is these simple pleasures that refresh our soul and allow us to face the world. What is your simple pleasure?
When the world around us tends to look darkness, perhaps it is is who need to be the light. We can be like the lotus in mud. A bit of beauty in an ugly world. When you find yourself in a negative situation, do not only look for the light, but think of ways in which you can be the light!
I would love to hear any of the personal examples you may have.
It is often when we are down that we fail to appreciate, and sometimes even notice, the little gifts that life provides every day. This can be when we are hurting, when we are exhausted or in my case Monday mornings, when we are tired.
Most of you know already that going from being a DJ to my day job on Monday I get about 2 hours of sleep. It can be tough to look around and appreciate the Miracles of life when you are that tired. It is exactly that which will give us the energy and keep our vibration from slipping lower. Draining us physically, mentally and emotionally.
This past Monday serves as a good example. As I was driving to work, cursing the lack of sleep and energy I was feeling my favorite song came on the radio. Being it is not one of the 10 the are paid to play on repeat all day, in fact it is quite rare, made it stand out. I felt grateful.
It was also a wake up call to remind me to focus on what was working and good in my life instead of what was lacking. After over 20 years of working in self-improvement and with the law of attraction you would think I should know this. As stated earlier, being in a depleted state can make you forget what you know.
The great thing was after that initial noticing, I started to notice other things to appreciate. The great cup of coffee that not only tasted great but would help me wake up. The car that helped me get to work. Even the work I was going to as so many others are looking forwork. Make sure you are always on the lookout for the little Miracles life sends you.
Sometimes life is ‘addition by subtraction’. That is, there are things we have, or do, in our lives that make them worse. Is it an addiction to sugar? Maybe we are prone to gossip? Perhaps it is hanging with a crowd we just know are not good for us. Whatever the case, our lives would be better without them.
What we struggle with is the perception of these things. They are not just ‘bad habits’, they are literally stopping us from becoming all we can be! They are an internal enemy! We must fight to eliminate them from our life!
My suggestion is to think of one food, habit or person that you would be better off leaving in the past. Work on eliminating that from your life. I would love to hear what you are working on!
Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers out there from us at Secret2anamazinglife.com. We begin, as it should be, with recognition to my mother. You can see both of us in the throw back photo above. Credit goes to her for raising yours truly. As a single parent that couldn’t have been easy. Having a child who would watch the news instead of Sesame Street also couldn’t have been easy. Despite all of this, I learned valuable lessons from my mother.
The skill of resilience. To keep on keeping on, as they say. To keep pushing when others may quit. To do so in a virtuous manner and not cut corners or cheat, even if you have an excuse to do so. The power of kindness and compassion towards others. I still recall all of the great memories we made serving at the local meal program. To turn towards your faith when times get rough. To have that belief that “everything will be OK” as she always says.
Then there is this cute mother, my Margie. She inspires me to be a better man, and loves me even when I fail to do so. She is not only an amazing mother in her own right, she also helped me overcome some of my own childish behavior.
She continues to demonstrate the love and concern she has for her children every day. She works hard to continue to grow and be a good example to them and makes me proud.
How lucky am I to have the influence and to share my life with 2 such amazing mothers? Remember to recognize all of the mothers you see today. The hard work and sacrifice of being a mother can only be paid with love and appreciation.
If the world can be summed up in one word right now, that word might be division. It is no wonder as there are many people who would benefit by having us working against each other and not paying close attention to what they are doing. People working together and having meaningful dialogue can pretty much solve most problems without the interference of some form of leadership. So, to keep their positions of power, they do their best to convince us that we are all evil. That is simply not so. While it is true there are people whose intent and motives are of the more questionable nature, I think if you look hard enough you will find them in all groups.
The picture above demonstrates a very important point when it comes to the faith we follow. There are many examples where I am hearing people belittle other faiths. These comments come not only from the congregation, but from behind the pulpit as well. As you can see by glancing the picture above, we all have some pretty basic things in common. One day I may very well write and entire book on the subject. Sure, some of the finer points we disagree on, but that should not stop us from pursuing peace and compassion in a world so bereft of it.
How many more problems could we solve if we focused more on what we had in common and were more accepting of what makes us different? People are good and people are not so good. Being a member of a certain group, faith or ethnicity does not make that so. It is what is in their heart, the words they speak and the actions they take.
Life is a balance. This quote is a good representation. I think most of us fall on either side of this equation. How about you? Do you act without engaging your thinking apparatus? Perhaps opening your mouth while keeping your mind shut? Perhaps you are someone who sits on the sideline wargaming everything but never engaging in action? Worried about making the wrong decision so you never make any decision at all.
Next time you are facing a challenge in your life, ask yourself which one of these two camps you fall in. Are you acting without thinking things through? Maybe you are spending too much time in your head and need to get out there and start taking more action. Even if the action you take is incorrect, you will certainly learn that quicker than if you never acted in the first place. Can it really be this simple? Find out for yourself. Next time you are challenged, ask yourself if you need to act or to think more.
Love the last line of this quote, “and it’s not only about trains.” Raise your hand if you have found yourself on the ‘wrong train’ in life? If you do not have your hand up, you have been extremely lucky or are not being completely honest with yourself. We have all been there and there is no harm in getting on a wrong train. That could be a job, a relationship or any other area of life. Sometimes it takes a while to realize where the train is headed. Sometimes we change our destination and need to adjust what train we are on. Life can be like that sometimes.
What is meant by the longer you stay on the train the more expensive the return trip will be is that the more we persist in the wrong actions, the more difficult, and often more expensive, turning things around will be. How many of us have heard people stay in jobs or relationships they know are wrong because they have been there a long time. It is equivalent to staying on a train that is heading to the wrong destination. Here is another fact to keep in mind. Even when we do get on the right train, we do not get to our destination right away. We may often have to travel back through some of the same ground that we have already passed. Take relationships for example. You may finally find the right partner, but experience some of the same problems from the partner you left. This can be for 2 very good reasons. First, you might be part of the problem. Second, to this relationship, the problem is brand new. You may have fought about it with your ex countless times, but hey, this is a new train. If you are practicing the tools and strategies on this site and in my books, you will be better equipped to handle it in a more productive fashion than you have in the past.
While you are traveling on your right train, be sure to enjoy the scenery. Often, we are so focused on the destination we miss enjoying the trip. Plus, the scenery can tell us that we are on the wrong train, or at the very least, our train might be on the wrong track. Perhaps you do have the right partner, but your relationship may need a little guidance. Focusing on a shared destination and what is important to see on the journey.
Speaking of the journey, it can often be misleading. On the way to a tropical destination, you might have to go through the mountains and see some snow. Keep the destination in mind and adjust your travels. If you are looking to get to the tropics and the weather outside the train seems snowy for far too long, maybe it is a sign to ask yourself, “Is this train headed in the direction I want to go?” If it is not, maybe you need to switch trains, or switch tracks.
Same with careers. Is your job using you or are you using your job? My day job used to feel very incorrect for me, but I have learned to ‘switch tracks’ and put it to use for me. I practice the tools and strategies I learn on my coworkers, helping them level up and live the best life they can. Can you find ways to put what may seem like the wrong train on the right track?
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 