Just a quick reminder to cherish everyone in your life. Take a second today to let one person know how much they mean to you. Who will that person be and what will you tell them?
A QUICK THURSDAY REMINDER
I GUESS I’M A FARMER AFTER ALL
Going back generations, my family has been farmers. I, however, have never been a farmer. Considering my luck with house plants, this is probably a good thing. Last Saturday I had dinner with a group of friends. While in the midst of a conversation with my friends father a revelation hit me, I might be a farmer after all. If not a farmer, at least a harvester. I have the great fortune to harvest a very important crop that others before me have planted. Best part? I do not even have to wear overalls and work in the field from dawn until dusk.
When you plant a crop the time between planting and harvest varies on many factors. Each plant has its own length to maturity. This is also influenced by the environment, the soil condition and many other factors. This holds true for the crop that I am harvesting. Is it wheat? Corn? Bananas? No. The crop I am talking about harvesting is thoughts and life lessons. Does this sound familiar to you? Someone shares some knowledge with you and you dismiss it. Years later as you learn and develop, you find yourself realizing something that was told to you years prior.
Vivid in my mind are lessons I heard either directly from, or by listening to conversations between my great uncle and grandfather. As a young man at the time I recall thinking things such as, “These old men don’t have a clue about how the world is now.” or just disagreeing with opinions and thoughts that to me seemed terribly out of date. My grandfather has been gone over 20 years now, my great uncle even more so. Still, to this very day, and even the night of the conversation with my friends father, I am still learning from both of them. There are bits of knowledge that I could only come to understand with years of experience and going through some things on my own. If I would’ve listened a little more closely, I would have probably had to go through a lot less in my life. These ‘seeds’ that were planted over 20 years ago are finally being harvested. It is a shame they are not here to see the benefit of the wisdom they passed along. I guess the soil they put them in, or my mind at the time, just wasn’t ready to let them grow.
This lead me to two very important epiphanies. First, never dismiss knowledge that is shared with you. It may not make sense to you now, but years later you may wish you had listened closer. This seems to be especially true if the knowledge comes from a party that is older than you. They have seen more and been through things you may not have even thought of yet. Second, never underestimate the power of your own seeds. There are people I do my best to offer little seeds of wisdom that I have gathered through my life and they seem to fall on barren soil. It can be frustrating to see people making some of the same mistakes you have made in life, especially people you care about, and wanting to help them avoid the same painful consequences you did. What I have learned through the experience I described to you in this blog, is to still plant away. You may be dead and gone by the time your seeds are harvested, but what a great legacy to leave. Plant seeds of knowledge, kindness and love wherever you go. They may grow and be harvested all at different times and you may not even be around to see it, but grow they will.
2021 FAIR REFLECTIONS
Most of you know that this time of year is when I have the most fun. It is our local State Fair and I enjoy every minute of it. The length of the fair is 11 days and I go every day, or at least I have since 1996. I enjoy many different events including trying different foods and reviewing them for the website Chow Down in Milwaukee, which I highly suggest you visit. I also get to enjoy local bands, see some animals I don’t see often, enjoy gardens, works of art, do some shopping for things I never knew I needed as well as spending some quality time with friends.
At the end of these 11 days there is always a bit of sadness. My yearly vacation is over, summer is drawing to a close and of course this wonderful festival I enjoy so much is over for another year. Margie does her best to remind me things such as, “It is less than a year now until the next state fair” and “Think about all the fun memories we made this year!” It is the latter of those two statements that I would like to write about today. With the State Fair being canceled in 2020, I was interested to see how things would rebound in 2021. Would people return to the fair or would they still be a bit too cautious? I guess the answer turned out to be a little bit of both. There were several things I noticed that were different this year than the last few. I am going to note a few of the more optimistic changes here and hope they continue for years to come!
The food. Let us take a second to talk about the changes in food over the last two years. There were our regular favorites such as large pickles and choices from Krautland. There were some new options that dazzled our taste buds. There was several new quesadillas that we enjoyed. Specialty tater tots and, of course, all of the ‘Sporkie’ or award winning foods. These included a pork sandwich that was sandwiched between two glazed doughnuts, a deep-fried pineapple that was crusted with coconut and even bacon and cinnamon cheese curds. I felt stands really got creative, but their efforts were a little hampered by available staff. This caused wait times to be a little longer and food to not always be served at the proper temperature. Still, they did their best and I look forward to trying several of these dishes next year when we hope staffing will be less of an issue. Speaking of things to look forward to, there was one food that we got to sample that will be premiering next year and I can’t wait. Firehouse Chicken has created a dish that combines sweet potato fries with a sauce that will have you thinking you are enjoying an entire sweet potato casserole! The best thing is that you can do this as you walk along taking in many of the fun activities the fair has to offer.
Let us take a look at some of those fun activities you were able to do at the fair for the first time in two years. Although shortened hours and staff along with extreme weather tended to shorten or even cancel many events, there were still a great many things to enjoy if you knew where to look. Margie and I missed seeing one of our favorite bands, Here Come the Mummies, due to a weather event. However, my mom was able to take in a concert of the band Firehouse with me. They performed quite well. There was also the return of the always amazing bird show from the Schlitz Audubon Nature center. Great information, new birds and staff were also brought in the mix. The animal shows and judging gave the opportunity for children from the rural communities show and teach the city kids a few things. It was good to see their hard work rewarded. In the ‘Exploratory Park’ portion of the fair, there were new tranquil areas that provided an escape from the crowds and bustle of the main portion of the fair. There was also a complete transformation of the central area of the grounds that included additional seating and greenery. Also a few comfortable swings.
Some of the things I noticed that I thought were really positive at the state fair this year were a spirit of kindness and connectedness. Part of that was the relief at being able to gather and the precious ability to do so. I personally witnessed a young lady standing in line for the restroom with a toddler that obviously could not wait much longer. Even though every lady in line had the same pressing need, three women let this lady go ahead of them. There were more people holding doors and exchanging pleasantries. Considering all of the division we have been hearing about and even witnessing to some degree, it was great to see people happy just to be able to gather together again. There was almost a whisper of “We haven’t been able to do this in a while, and we don’t know how long we will be able to continue to do it so we better not screw it up.” Another awesome thing to see was people of all races coming together and having fun. Whether that was a couple, or just a group of friends, it seemed a more diverse community than ever before. Sometimes I feel it is good to block out the deluge of news and media reports on a subject and get out in the world and experience it for yourself. In this case it was people not caring where their ancestors came from or what their politics were and more about getting a cream puff, how to get the best seats at the pig races and what band they were there to see.
All that being said, my favorite memory of the 2021 Wisconsin State Fair was the memories I created. I was able to see friends I have not seen in a very long time and spend some quality time with them. There were people I see when Margie and I are working as DJs, that we often don’t get to see more than a minute at a time. Being able to sit down with them and watch a band, eat some food or just have a conversation was fun. For the second fair in a row, I was able to join up with Amanda, Margie and my mom to review some of the award-winning and new foods for the afore mentioned Chow Down in Milwaukee. My mother and I did both the ‘Garden Walk’ and ‘Art Walk’ which explore both the gardens and art in the park. These are fun because they take you to areas you do not normally see. Most of all, I loved the memories created with the love of my life. I know Margie does not have to be there and on many occasions I am not sure she wants to be there, but I love that we get to share memories at my favorite place. We got together later in life and this is one of the areas I feel myself trying to ‘make up for lost time’ as they say. I want to experience and create as many memories with her as I can. Even just the thought that she puts up with the hours of walking, the heat and the excitement of her crazy man is something that makes me love her more.
As you can see from the pictures and what I have written, it was another successful run for my favorite time of the year. Sure, there are things I would like to do that I missed. That happens every year. As a whole, it was great to have the State Fair back again. I look forward to reviewing pictures and memories in the months to come. I would love to hear some of your favorite summer memories.
MONDAY MOTIVATION
WHAT TO SAY TO PEOPLE EVERYDAY
It is Friday! We are heading into the weekend. It is usually reserved for social interactions with those we are truly excited to be around. We are also more likely to attend social functions. As for me, I will be on my last weekend of vacation attending our local State Fair, hopefully running in to old friends and making new ones. It some fashion, I think weekends are about friendships for most of us.
Here is something very important to consider, what impact can you have in passing? We are asked about our ‘elevator speech’ or how we describe what we do in 30 seconds or less. Roughly the same time we ride the elevator with someone. Here is a thought, what is your 30 second impact speech? We greet friends, and to a lesser degree even strangers, several times a day. What impact do we have on them? Negative? Demanding? Positive? Inspiring? Most of the time we do not put much thought into this at all. “I’ll talk to them more next time I see them.” We think. As we grow older, we realize the importance of each moment. The poignant, and kind of scary, fact is that one day what we will say to them will be the last time we ever speak to them. Here is another fact, we never know when that may be. Even if it is a coworker we see every day or a family member we see every holiday.
Life throws so many curve balls at us we never know when the last time we see somebody might be. Sure the odds of it being the last time we see 90 year old uncle Harry may be greater than our 25 year old coworker, but that still doesn’t bring them down to zero. Without getting overly morose, there are several reasons why life can take someone out of our life. We also never know who may be struggling that day. Some people are certainly better at hiding their pain than others. If we talk to and treat everyone as if they were really hurting and it would be the last time we would see them, we will be filled with a lot less regret and worry. What if we do see them again and we have told them we care about and love them? I don’t think any relationship would be hurt by telling someone you truly feel as though they are a gift in your life.
This weekend treat everyone as if they are the most important person on earth. We do this for two very important reasons. First of all, according to that person, they are. Secondly, that is how human beings should treat each other. You do this and I promise you that you will be rewarded with deeper relationships and be content that everyone has walked away feeling better for your company. It will give you an inner sense of peace and make you a lot more friends.
IF ONLY WE COULD REALIZE THIS SOONER
I love Winston Churchill. He was a little bit grumpy, but certainly got to the point. This quote above is really true and could make a big difference and save us a lot of time in our lives. Many of us, especially in this social media driven world, are so preoccupied with what others think of us that we forget to focus on what is truly important. Doing something for ‘likes’ on social media is one of the least productive actions we can take.
The truth is really in the last line – no one was ever thinking about you in the first place. Most people are focused on their own lives. Those who are focused on what others are doing? What do we call those people? Gossips? Haters? It is never good. Every minute you spend worrying about what others are thinking about what you are doing is 60 seconds you are losing that could have been used to build a better life.
Let us stop focusing on what others think, or being better than Kurt, Nicci or anyone else. Let us focus on what we are doing and being better people than we were yesterday. That is where the power and personal freedom truly can be found.
A FUN GAME TO PLAY WITH FRIENDS
It is hump day! The middle of the week. We are quickly approaching the weekend. We are beginning to be excited for the weekend and any plans we may have, even if they are just relaxing and not working. I am currently on vacation and have lots to enjoy. Here is fun game you can play with family and friends. The winner will really benefit, but even those who don’t ‘come out on top’ will still win! The prize? Not some plastic participation trophy or ribbon, but a greater sense of joy and inner peace.
The game is simply this, find as many things you can be truly grateful for and why. The why is important because it makes things compelling. To appreciate the sunshine (which I do more than most of you can imagine) is one thing. To realize you are appreciating it because it gives you a feeling of being alive or reminds you of being on vacation in the tropics is an entirely different animal. Pick a group of friends and family and see who can find the most things to be grateful for. Most of us live in such an abundance of riches, it is almost a disgrace what we take for granted. There is a big push to wash your hands often these days. Can you imagine how difficult that would be without clean running water? Water than can be set to a desired temperature and is pretty much available everywhere we are? The ability to wash our entire bodies anytime we desire in that same water? We have personal space where we can adjust the temperature to our liking, take our time and be clean and healthy? So many things in those two statements alone. Write down as many as you can think of and compare with those you are playing the game with. At the end of it, everyone will realize, and hopefully feel, how truly rich we all are and how much we have to be grateful for.
Looking around your life for what you have to be grateful for can be a magical transformation. This may sound like a bunch of hype, but trust me it is not. No, wait. Do not trust me! Try it for yourself. This is what caused me to realize how powerful this was. I wrote down what I was grateful for in my life for 30 days. I did it to prove it didn’t affect much. 20 years later I am writing my third book in the field of self-improvement. This fun game stands the power to transform your life. Even the fact you have the ability to read this information is truly something amazing! I would love to hear your results of playing this game.
WHICH ONE DO YOU DO?
This is one of those lessons that seem like a no-brainer. To be honest, this is one that needs reminding in the lives of all of us. Margie really helped me master this concept. It is also one of the most difficult to remember in the heat of an emotional disagreement. The question is how can we change from having arguments to having discussions? I think there is a two-fold answer to this and it begins as soon as the situations comes up.
When we are hurt/sad/upset/angry with something that someone else did or said, or maybe even something we think they did or said, it is important we bring that feeling into light. The reason it is important is because repression grows into resentment. You might want to read that last part again. When we repress our emotions, the other person may continue to do the very thing that angered us in the first place again and again. Not because they are trying to make our life some living hell, but because they are ignorant to the fact we are upset in the first place. That is our fault and our problem to address.
Here is where it gets a little tricky. Before we begin to convey our feelings, we should take a second to ask ourselves some very important questions. The first question I would ask myself is, “If I was in their place, how would I want this brought to my attention?” Nobody likes to hear they upset someone or hurt their feelings. It can feel like they failed. It is also important to not place them on the defensive. Saying things like “You really hurt me” and “You did this just to make me mad!” Can place people on the defensive. Even if they did do something malicious on purpose, you will only compound the issue by attacking them. Remember to ask yourself how you would like to be approached. A more positive approach, and one I recommend very highly, is to ask them for help. Nobody likes to be reprimanded, but everyone likes to feel like they helped. An example could be, “I was wondering if you could help me with something. When you said _____ it really hurt my feelings. I know that wasn’t what you meant to do, but is there a way we could word this differently?” You notice you are asking for their assistance in discovering a solution? You also give them the benefit of the doubt when it comes to their intent, which we can never truly know anyway. How would you respond if someone approached you that way?
The second, and just as important, thing to ask ourselves is “What is the desired outcome?” Seldom is the answer “I want to make them feel bad because they hurt my feelings.” It may feel like that at the time, but if we are honest with ourselves, the answer is completely different. We usually want to create a mutual understanding that what was said or done caused some emotional distress. It is important to do that with eloquence. Once it is said and understood, immediately switch to working to create a plan to avoid the same situation from happening in the future. I actually ask myself that several times in my head in the course of a discussion. “What is my end goal?” Again, ask for help. “How can we work together to make this work in the future?” stands a far greater chance of success than, “You better not do that again!”
Remember, in any relationship, when there is a disagreement, a discussion is a far better result than an argument. Focus on how you would want to be talked to and realize the other party would probably like to be talked to in the same manner. Stay focused on a solution and not dishing out blame. In fact, blame does little or nothing to create solution. Ask for help. involve the other party and you will have many more productive discussions.
THE PARTY BEGINS!!
You may have noticed that last Friday’s blog post seemed to lack a little something…like being there. I apologize for that, but Thursday started our state fair here in Wisconsin. I have been attending this festival ever since I was born in 1975. Around 1996, I made a decision that was rather unique to me back then. If I really enjoyed every time I went to the State Fair, why not go as often as I could. In this case, that would be 11 days as that is how long our state fair lasts. Beginning that year I have done just that very thing. The Wisconsin State Fair became my annual vacation. I take those days off from my day job and make every effort to have other obligations either rescheduled or taken care of.
I have received my fair share of flack for this decision over the years. People ask me such questions as how do I not get bored going every day, how do I manage to afford it and certainly questions about the health aspects of such an adventure. These are all valid concerns and here are some quick answers. Doing something you love rarely tends to become boring. Doing it 11 days straight, for almost 20 years can bring that into possibility. For me, this has never been a problem. As a personal characteristic, I cannot remember the last time I was bored. It is a fact that if I had 3 lifetimes I could not do all that I wanted to do. Involving different people in my life makes each experience new and different. Margie likes to see bands and shop. My mother, she likes the baby animals and doing the garden and art walks. Everyone loves to explore new and exciting foods. Trying them makes each yea, and sometimes day, different and exciting. I learned I can apply this to anything I enjoy in my life. Going for coffee with my mom is one experience. Doing the very same thing with my friend Nick is something different entirely.
Another question was how do I afford going to the fair every year? Several ways. They all involve planning ahead of time. In about April, they begin to sell tickets at a discounted price. This saves me $5 a day. They also have coupon books available. I purchased one for $4 and if I use the ones I plan to, that will save me a total of $70 on food, drink and items throughout the 11 days. It is also using my time there to discover where and what presents the best deals. Nachos may be a dollar cheaper at one stand, but you may get twice as much at another. I turn it into a fun game. Thinking of the different foods and drink and where is the best place to go.
Speaking of food, another concern, often voiced by my doctor, is the health aspects of spending 11 days eating fair food. I’ll be the first to agree this is not the healthiest 11 days I spend in a year, but there are several factors to consider here as well. The first being that this is an exception and not the rule. As Margie, Amanda, my mother and myself were sampling several of the new foods for a review on Chow Down in Milwaukee (which I will link at the end of this post) We all discussed how we do not normally consume fried food (Like the fried fish fry above, which was rather delicious) Another tip is while finding the best value at the state fair, I also look for several healthier options. There is a gluten-free stand for those that need those foods. There is a stand that serves grilled chicken over a bed of rice. Snacks such as dried tart cherries and cranberries can be found among all of the chocolate and fudge. Same holds true with beverages. You can always find soda, beer and cocktails. You can however find water, juice and even a stand for a business named Urbal Tea that serves…you guessed it, herbal tea. Not only healthier option, but refreshing one as well. Couple these tricks with the incredible amount of walking I do and a trip to the Wisconsin State Fair is not as unhealthy as it could be.
When you find something that does not harm you or others that you enjoy in life, I recommend incorporating it as much as you can. There are ways to make it exciting, economical and healthy. Try doing it with different people and notice how that can expand your enjoyment. You may notice things that escaped your attention. Find ways in which it can be planned and maybe done more economically. This could involve purchasing tickets ahead of time like I do, or joining and organization, going in with others or a host of other ideas. Find ways to make it healthier too. Is there a particular run/walk you do every year? Maybe get a group of friends to start training with you. Whatever it is you enjoy in life, think of ways in which you cannot only do it more, but do it better. I would love to hear what activities you enjoy doing every year.
CLICK HERE TO READ OUR REVIEW OF THIS YEAR’S FAIR FOOD ON CHOW DOWN IN MILWAUKEE
MAY YOU ALL ENJOY A LITTLE PARADISE TODAY
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 