I’M DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. WHY THAT’S GOOD.

Above is the results for a 5K race that I ran last Wednesday. I run this race every year. It is held at the Wisconsin State Fair park. This is one of my favorite places to go. This year, I had open-heart surgery in January. My goal was to come back and finish the race in 30 minutes or less. As you can see, I fell short by 7 minutes. I was disappointed to learn this. My cardiovascular and breathing were just not up to the task. I vented to those that did the race with me. I figured 6 months after surgery would have been enough to get back in shape. I was reminded for the first 4 months after surgery, you are advised to do little, if anything at all. This means that I really only had 2 months to train for this race.

Although this made me feel slightly better, I am still a little disappointed I did not make me goal. Normally, I am the fellow who advises you to find and focus on the positives in a situation. This is true here too. After having my chest sawed in half and a chunk of my heart cut out and replaced (and dying for a brief period of time) I still finished with the same time I did the year prior. It was only 6 months after surgery, and I was told it will take a full year to be back at 100%. Still, I want to keep this feeling of disappointment with me. Why on earth would I want to do that? I want to do what I advise everyone to do in my book Living the Dream. Find a way to use your emotions instead of letting them use you.

In this case, on the days I do not feel like going to the gym, I am going to remember that feeling of disappointment. When I do not feel like eating better, I am going to remember how it felt to struggle as I ran. These feelings will not only serve to keep me on track, but will push me to better myself. That is how to put negative feelings to work for you. Is there something you are disappointed in yourself for? Did you yell at your spouse when they didn’t deserve it? Use that to push you to get a better control of your temper and to find ways to make it up to yourself. Disappointed you didn’t get what you wanted done at home? Use that feeling to get you up and out of bed the next day to tackle the activity you want to accomplish.

So called negative emotions will always be a part of our lives. As we work to limit them, we should also find ways to put them to use for us as well. In that way we turn what used to be a negative into a positive. What are some ways in which you have done this in your own life?

HOW DO YOU SEE THE WORLD?🌏

Which one are you?

Look at the picture above. You can see the difference in perspective. Both men find themselves locked up in prison. One can see only the bars and what is holding him prisoner. The other focuses on the beauty right outside their cell.

Most pessimists, or even realist, as they sometimes prefer to call themselves will point out this does not change the fact that both men are still in jail. That is true. Let us take a look at what both men are experiencing.

First the man painting the bars. He undoubtedly is focused on what is holding him back. This will have him feeling oppressed and depressed. He is venting this thoughts by creating a painting and visual reminder of the same. This will further expand his feelings and make his sentence and more arduous one.

Next, the man who painted the nature scene. He is focused on the beauty he can see even if it is not directly in his environment. Although stuck in a cell he is thinking of the birds, the trees and the sunshine. He is creating a work of art that can help take him there mentally.

Even if they stay in jail for the same amount of time, whose prison sentence do you think we be worse? It is the same with us and life. Are you focused on what is holding you back? Are you constantly talking or posting on social media about it? How does that make you feel? Maybe you are like the second fellow and focused on the beauty of life even if it is just outside your current reality. Thinking about that tropical vacation or cool new sports car, even though they are not yours yet. How does that make you feel?

The difference in the quality of our lives is more greatly determined by our internal feelings than our external situations. Focus on where true change comes from.

WHAT CAN I CELEBRATE?🥳

Here is a great question to ask yourself daily – what can I celebrate? Living life in a constant state of celebration can certainly make it amazing. Truth is, there is always something to celebrate!

You can celebrate the birth of your favorite author (mine is next Friday) you can celebrate one of the odd holidays that they come up with. Just Google “what holiday is today” it will be national chilli dog day or some other celebration you can join.

These are all great ideas. (I especially enjoy the author birthday one) In my humble opinion, the best way to find something to celebrate is to ask the question, “what am I grateful for today?” Whatever answer you come up with, celebrate that. One thing you are grateful for a day and just find ways to celebrate. I would LOVE to hear what you are going to celebrate today!

YOUR JOB THIS WEEKEND

I know, I know. Nobody wants to work on the weekend. You at probably thinking, “Neil, I just put in 40+ hours this week. I deserve a break. ” This is certainly true. What else you deserve is an amazing life. That is why I created this site, secret2anamazinglife.com, to share what I have learned in my 20+ years of research on the subject.

One of the best ways to start enjoying your life more is to stop and appreciate all the little things, as we refer to them. They are actually not little at all. You see the picture of a sunset i took while leaving the movies with Margie the other night. A sunset, a little thing. Yet, we could not recreate it with all the money in the world. It only lasted a few minutes, but is a memory that will last forever. So is the picture below of a wall I was on with my mom.

This weekend, your job is to stop and really appreciate one of the little Miracles in your life. If you would like, share with us what that might be, as I have shared my two with you.

BE THE BEST & KEEP THE FAITH

As we look to finish the week strong, let us remind ourselves to keep our perspective fresh and positive. That does not mean pretending the challenges of life are not there. It simply means focusing on the blessings. It also means having faith that those challenges will eventually turn around.

Keep a mind full of joy and a heart full of faith my friends

I’M DOING WHAT?!😲

Today I am doing something that I like to do every year, I am going to run a 5K. This may not sound too crazy. Especially to any of my friends who are runners. Let me explain, I do not fit into that category. My body is better equipped to cheer on runners than do any of the running myself. This is exactly why I do it. It is important to test and push yourself.

This year will be a little bit different than the last 5 years I have done this run. In addition to my asthma, and the fear of hyperventilating, I am only 6 months removed from open heart surgery. Some people think I am crazy, but I am excited to not give up on the idea of self-improvement due to a set back like heart surgery.

I am not advocating being foolish with your health. My doctor advised me to listen to my body. There is a certain growth and self-realization that only comes when you push yourself and become uncomfortable. There is also a feeling of pride and accomplishment when you complete the task.

Think of ways in which you can push yourself, and step outside of your comfort zone. Think of ways you have done this in the past. What growth came out of that?

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING YOU GET FOR FREE?

There are so many things in life that we fail to appreciate because they are free. Yet, often these are the things that would affect our life the greatest if they were missing. Can you imagine your life with no laughter? What if you never saw anyone smile ever again?

Please take a second and share what free thing in your life means a lot to you.

WHICH PAIN WILL YOU CHOOSE TODAY?🤔

It is Monday, and that can be a pain. People generally focus on what is causing them pain in their lives. Why? In a physical sense, it can be pretty hard to ignore. When the pain is mental or emotional, it can be overwhelming.

The bad news first, there will always be pain in your life. Pretty inspiring for a Monday, right? Pain is not always a bad thing. It can be one of life’s greatest teachers. It can let us know when something is not right in our lives. This can be the pain of a physical injury, where our body is letting us know something is wrong. Even the heartache of a toxic relationship is pain that is telling us that person is not right for us.

The good news is that in many ways you can choose your pain. In most cases this comes down to the decision of the pain of discipline verses the pain of regret. I am forever reminding Margie that “discipline equals freedom” a quote I stole from Jocko Willink. So much so, she probably is sick of hearing it. That does not make it any less true. If we choose to skip the initial pain of discipline, we will have to face the pain of regret.

Let us look at our examples above. In the case of a physical injury, physical therapy and doing exercises can be painful. If we do not do them, we could heal incorrectly and suffer the pain of regret. Toxic relationship? Breaking up with someone can be hard and painful. Staying in that relationship can have us waking up to the pain of regret with every painful episode.

How about you? Are there disciplines you are putting off because they are painful? Not disciplined in your fitness because you “don’t have time” or it is “too hard”. Let me tell you from experience. The pain of a good workout goes away in time. The pain of being out of shape is something you have to deal with daily. Not disciplined in your diet because you would just rather “eat what you like. ” or “eat what tastes good.” Then you must suffer the regret of all the pains an unhealthy diet give you. These pains, such as heart disease, can be fatal.

This week, if you find yourself trying to get out of the pain of discipline,ask yourself what the pain of regret will be if you don’t follow through. Be honest with yourself. The pain of missing just one workout or the pain of eating just one doughnut can lead to the regret of choosing bad habits over good ones.

A SUNDAY THOUGHT 🙂

Use some of this Sunday to relax and recharge. Starting the week with a fresh body certainly has its Advantages. Your ability to handle any stress the work week can throw at you will be increased. In the likely event responsibilities may cause you to sacrifice some sleep, you’ll be better off if you have rested during the weekend. Even your immune system will be stronger!

All of this seems pretty obvious. What about relaxing and recharging your spirit? This is equally, if not more, important. What can you do to take on the week with a relaxed and recharged mind and spirit? Personally, I spend some time alone in meditation or even some sacred silence. Your mind is usually going 100 miles a minute during the week, give it a break on Sunday.

My Sunday to Monday is always a bit rough. Margie and I get home from our DJ gig at 2am, and my alarm for the post office goes off at 4:45am. To account for this, I make sure to get as much physical and mental relaxation as I can. What do you do to relax and recharge your mind, body and spirit?

WHAT YOU SHOULD BE THIS WEEKEND