ARE YOU TRULY WHAT YOU ARE?

At first, this question may seem silly. Of course you are who you are. Looking at the quote above, we can dig a little deeper. The quote from Mr. Jung, whom I do not always agree with, brings some good questions to mind. How many of us know people who always seem to be preaching one thing, but doing another? You know the ones. They talk about how you should be healthy, all while they go out and get drunk several nights a week. How about those who tell us they can’t stand drama, but a few minutes later are whispering the latest gossip in your ear? I am sure we all know people like this.

Here is where things can get a little uncomfortable. It many ways, that person could be found in the mirror. On my YouTube channel (Neil Panosian) and in my second book, Living the Dream, I advocate an exercise that can be very beneficial. That is to write our own eulogy. This can sound morbid to some, but it is a very powerful tool for transforming your life. It has certainly made a huge difference in my own. This idea occurred to me while contemplating the death of my cousin in his early twenties. It solidified when I was asked to write 5 eulogies in 2 years. I began to think of what people would say about me when I was gone.

More to the point, I began to think of what I wanted them to say. I quickly scratched a few notes down on paper. I wanted to be known as someone who made a positive difference in people’s lives. I wanted to be a light that caused others to keep going when they wanted to give up. I wanted to be an example for how a man should treat a lady. I wanted to give to the greater good and leave the world a better place than I found it. I had parroted most of these statements for years. Then I had to ask myself a very important question – was I living them? In many ways, the stark truth was that I was not. At least I was not doing so to the fullest. In some cases I was at sometimes, and then not others. No consistency. My actions did not always match my words.

How about you? Do your actions match your words? Do you honestly think people will describe you as you hope to be when you pass on? In my own life, doing this exercise of writing my eulogy, helped me become clear, for the first time in my life, as to the person I wished to be. It also helped provide me a good course of action as well as a set of guidelines. These were not rules others were telling me, but instead ones that went with the values I had chosen to be remembered as. I can ask myself, is what I am doing an example of how to treat the one that you love? How about be a gentleman? What about leaving the world a better place? If the answer is ‘no’ I know that I need to change those actions to better match the person I am striving to be. If the answer is ‘yes’ I know that the actions I am taking are in line with the values I have and the kind of person I wish to be remembered as. How about you? How do you wish to be remembered? Are you taking actions that will lead others to remember you that way, or are you someone who they will remember as a person who said one thing and did another?

ARE YOU RUNNING WITH THE PACK?🐺

Running in packs sure can have its advantages. Just ask wolves. Their cooperative hunting strategies have allowed them to flourish and be more successful. They same can be said for those of us working on team projects. It certainly can come in handy in our spiritual faith. When we feel that faith faltering, it can be our ‘pack’ that can lift us up. How about our friends and family? That can be an amazing pack! They can check on us and have us feeling loved and cared about. They can also be a great source to lean on when we are down.

Where packs can turn from an asset to a detriment, is when we allow the pack to do our thinking for us. This seems especially true in both politics and faith. As we described earlier, the latter can help us a great deal. I am not sure about the former, but I digress. I have seen, in my own family, people leave their own family behind for no other reason than their faith was different. It is important to be able to step back from the pack, on occasion, and think for ourselves. If your pack is asking you to believe, and act in a certain way, it is ok to question that way. It does not make you a ‘bad’ member of the pack. In fact, you could be the one to lead the pack in an entirely different direction. You can still make good use of the pack, and be able to think and act on your own.

It can certainly be tempting to allow our thoughts and actions to be influenced by the pack. It is something we must stand guard against. If your pack infers, or outright says, that people of a certain group should be avoided, or worse looked down upon, because they are different, ask yourself if that is what you truly believe. In a word that seems to be growing more divided by the day, it is our pack of humanity that must learn to work together. Just like the wolves, we will survive and be more successful if we do.

HOW DO YOU CHERISH?

I love this quote by Bob Marley. It causes us to take a step back and reflect how we treat the people in our lives. When you have a person with a certain skill set, do you cherish or use that skill? There is nothing wrong with ordering a cake from someone you know who has a talent at creating them, hypothetically. It is also important to cherish that skill and that person. What is the difference in this case? I think cherish can be replaced by the word appreciate. I think that is what is tricky in this situation. Even those of us, myself included, need a gentle reminder to cherish as well as utilize the people in our lives.

The obvious next question is how we can do this. I think this is where many of today’s technological offerings can be put to good use. If people only spoke with me when they needed some writing, that can go two ways. On one hand, it certainly is a compliment. You know my skill set and would like to make use of it. If, however, that is the only time you ever speak to me, after a while, I could feel somewhat used. If you were to blend this with a mention on social media, or even a compliment in person, that would mean the world to me.

Cherishing a person does not even have to be limited to professional avenues either. Do you have a spouse that is an amazing cook? A friend that is a great listener? Let them know! Maybe even get them a little card to say thank you. Send them an email. Buy your spouse flowers and let them know you appreciate their hard work in the kitchen. It can be easy to unconsciously almost take people for granted. Whether that is making a cake, writing, being a good cook, a good listener or just a good friend. It is for more likely for us to think, “I need someone to listen to me. I know Jane is a good listener. I am going to call her.” Than to make that same call to thank Jane for being a good listener. We often assume they know how we feel. They may not. Even if they do, it is good to both be reminded and cherished, or appreciated.

How do you appreciate all of the amazing people in your life? From the friendly bus driver to the helpful person at the coffee shop. How can you make them feel like the cherished people they are? We are always looking for good ideas. Please share yours.

START THE WEEK WITH ACTION!😃

As the week starts, what actions are you taking to attack your problems?

YOU GOT THIS!!😃😃

Just a quick reminder to all of my followers. You are awesome people! Whatever life is throwing at you… YOU GOT THIS! You owe it to yourself not to give up!

CREATE YOUR OWN NEIGHBORHOOD

One glance at the picture above and I am instantly transported to Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. As most of you who have followed me for any length of time already know, I am a big fan of that famous childhood program. I still think the self-improvement fundamentals taught on that show could apply to many adults to this very day. Do you know of anyone who could benefit from watching the episode “What to do when you are mad”? It would appear many of us have either forgotten, or could use a gentle reminder of many of the qualities that make us all good humans.

In today’s social and political climate, it is “You either agree with me or you are evil”. It would seem many of us have forgotten how to be civil to each other. Add to that, many of us do the bulk of our communicating behind a keyboard and it becomes worse. It seems without the personal accountability and responsibility of face to face communication, we do not feel constrained by manners. Social media, ironically, has made us forget how to be properly social. There are terrible acts of violence against each other in the news almost daily. Some are politically motivated, some are completely random. When I come across these items it makes me long for a neighborhood like Mr. Rogers had on his program. One of mutual respect and admiration.

Then it occurred to me. Each of us is responsible for creating this neighborhood. It is in not only teaching the fundamentals that were taught to children on Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, but even more importantly, living them. Include people who are different. Learn about them and their culture. Not with a motive to judge, but to understand and appreciate. Learn to respect those whose opinions may be different than those of your own. Learn new skills, sing songs and yes, learn what to do when you are mad. A great way might be to check out some episodes of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. Yes, the program was made for children, but the values are just as important, if not more, to adults of today’s world.

Many will say this is wishful thinking. They will argue how much difference can one person spreading kindness and compassion make in a world of people spreading hate and judgement. Can you imagine what a difference it would make if every ‘one person’ who was told that would have taken action? There are roughly 8 billion people on this planet. Can you imagine what it would be like if even 1 out of every 10 decided to indulge in random acts of kindness? Think of the ripple effect and how many people that would affect? Do you know where it starts? It all starts here and with you. Be that one person. Start that ripple effect. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Create your own neighborhood.

REASON TO HANG IN THERE

Isn’t it rough when 2 tough days seem to come back to back? That is what happened to me the other day. Nothing too tragic, just feeling worn out and life putting me through the ringer. We have all had that sort of run of luck. One of the things I do in that situation is refer to my list of things that fill me with energy and joy. The day prior to this one, I had gone for a walk with my mother in the park. We usually see plenty of natural beauty and get a little fitness in as well. The day prior, for some reason, we did not see a single animal. I also seemed to have a tough time with the fitness part. My body seemed to ache everywhere. The weather here is up and down this time of year and I am sure that played into it.

I also love grocery shopping when I am in a funk. For some reason, that seems to lift my spirits. My mother and I had been meaning to stop by this small grocery store for a few months and both decided that this day would be a good one to do so. On the drive there is was raining and traffic was understandably slow due to the weather. No sunshine was to be had. It seemed even a trip to one of my favorite stores would be a trying journey. As we shopped, I did my best to be in the moment. I looked for fun new items to put into the cart to bring home to Margie for us to try. Slowly, the funk of the last 2 days lifted. I pushed the cart out of the store hoping the rain was not too bad. To my surprise, I saw the image above – a double rainbow! The mood started to lift even more. We stopped to take several pictures; as you can see. That had us feeling a little more cheery.

The next day when we decided to try our luck walking in the park, we saw 4 Blue Herons. This is my favorite local bird. Some sightings were rather close and they seemed generally unconcerned by our appearance. We both got to take pictures and spend some time gazing at this wonderful bird. We went on to see some green herons, a muskrat and two deer that seemed just as interested in watching us as we were in watching them! Just the day before, it had seemed if every animal had left the park and now we were able to see several! Proof if you stick out the tough storms in life there will eventually be a double rainbow (or a Blue Heron) to brighten your day. This also had me thinking of another factor. The day before, it was cool and gloomy and our mood was not the best. Did that have something to do with our luck? I am not sure. It does seem when you are in a good emotional state, more wonderful things seem attracted to you.

If you find yourself in a funk, do these 2 things. First, hang in there. The storms of life will come and go. Make sure you do not come and go with them. Stay strong and know the sun will return eventually. Also, do your best to find something to be grateful for and feel good about. Even if it is a little thing, it will begin to change your state. This will open the door to even more good!

ANOTHER WAY TO BEAT LIFE’S CHALLENGES

Last post we talked about the frustration of road construction and how we can view it differently. I am going to share another method for not being set back by life’s little challenges. This great and power secret (which really isn’t a secret at all) is to find the humor in the situation. Like the meme I found above in regards to road construction signs. I never thought about how the ‘end road work’ sign could sound like a protest. It made me laugh out loud when I read it. Guess what happens every time I pass one of these signs? You guessed it, I chuckle to myself. This is particularly good because I am usually just leaving some road construction I have just driven through.

Steve Rizzo calls this ‘getting in touch with your humor being’. He says that when stuck in traffic he talks like the lion from Wizard of Oz. Why? Because it makes everything more humorous. What if you picked your favorite comedian and tried to imagine the situation through their eyes? I find Groucho Marx works good for this, but that is a personal preference. What about a famed explorer? How about a television reporter who is covering your situation? A narrator in the movie of your life? “Margie looked down at the floor to discover the bag of powdered sugar she was carrying had left a trail showing where she had been.” Does this sound a little absurd or insane to you? Good! Life can be both a little absurd and insane. Go with it.

Doing this does two very important things for us. First, it adds something to laugh at. The more time you spend smiling and laughing in life, the better your life is. Second, and perhaps more importantly, it reduces the amount of stress in a situation. It may even transform it into a situation that causes you to laugh. Do you know what you call a life that has less stress and more laughter? A better one! Who would not want a less stressful, more joyful life? I know I would!

I will continue to search for the humor in life. Lucky for me, and for all of us, life is constantly supplying us with situations full of humor if we are looking for them. I have a lady that also supplies a great deal of humor. If you are not so blessed as to have a spouse who does the same, there are plenty of ways to add humor to your life. You can add an app to your phone that sends a joke a day. Perhaps get a group of friends together that look for funny signs. That way you all are working to bring humor to the group. What about a funny day by day calendar? How about joining a humorous social media page? The more ways you find humor in life, the more ways YOU win!

Road construction

Sometimes your life improving can be as simple as changing your perspective. This was brought home by something very common, yet very frustrating – road construction. In Wisconsin, where I live, there seems to be two seasons, winter and road construction. By the time the ice and snow on the roads disappear, they are replaced by orange barrels. This can lead to many unpleasant surprises. This can range from the simply frustrating longer commute times, to the more expensive flat tires and repair to your cars suspension system.

This had been taken a step further this year in my very own neighborhood. I live on the east side of our fine city. Most of what I enjoy doing is in the west part of the city. Normally, not too much of an issue. The drive is roughly 10 to 15 minutes for most places. That is until recently. They closed two of the main streets that connect where I live to the west part of the city. Just the other day, I went to pick up some flyers I had made up for my upcoming book signing. This should have been a 10 minute trip. It ended up being a 20 minute trip. With the current price of gasoline, this was a bit irritating. What I did learn was an entirely new way to get to where I was going. It also showed me a few different businesses I had either forgotten about, or never knew about. It was taking this detour that introduced me to them.

Another good thing about this detour caused by road construction, it caused me to use my brain. Often, we can get in a rut. How many of you take the same route to work every day? You drive on autopilot almost. When one street is closed, it can throw us for a loop. Much like no longer having to remember phone numbers because they are all stored in our phones, our brains tend to get a little lazy. What were to happen if we were in an emergency situation and we had lost our cell phone? Would we still be able to contact our work or our loved ones? By having to consciously come up with a new route to travel, and having to be alert on that route, my brain was getting a little bit of a workout. What happens if we never make our bodies workout? Do you not the same result could happen to a mind that no longer has to work?

Viewing the inconvenience of the road closer in this light, I found I had a lot to be grateful for. The new path caused me to be more alert and forced my brain to put in a little more effort. With cerebral decline becoming an issue the older we get, it is wise to take advantage of any brain workout we can fit in. The detour also introduced me to a host of new businesses and some that I forgot about. It allowed me to see a different part of my city I may have never had the reason to explore. These reasons turned the curse of road construction into a blessing. Next time orange barrels block or slow your progress, think of what benefits you may get out of the situation.