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WHAT I LEARNED FROM A BEAR

Margie and I saw the movie Paddington 2 the other night. If you are not familiar with the story of Paddington allow me to catch you up. He is a bear that lived in Peru, but found his way to London and was adopted by the Brown family.

Paddington is a lovable bear who, despite the best of intentions, often finds himself in sticky situations. Sometimes figuratively, often literally due to his love of marmalade.

Despite being very entertaining, there is often moral lessons to every Paddington story. It is one of these I would like to share with you.

Everywhere Paddington goes, he seems to make friends. That is due to his moral code installed in him by his aunt Lucy who lives in the home for retired bears in Peru. I know this all may seem a bit silly and over the top, but bear with me (every pun intended) I think we will all have a lesson we can use.

Paddington is a constant example of good manners and virtue. 2 of the lessons he got from aunt Lucy are, if you are courteous and polite the world will be right and if you look for the good in people you will find it.

Stop and think if everyone on earth took these two lessons from this lovable bear, how amazing would this planet be? Perhaps you don’t have a moral code, or even an aunt Lucy to give you one, but I’m sure Paddington wouldn’t mind if we borrowed his.

MASTER THE FUNDAMENTALS

Recently I was asked a very good question. “Neil, do you ever get angry or depressed?” Reading my material it would be easy to assume I am floating through life on a cloud, and to be honest, that is my general state of being. This is only possible because of the two decades of research and work in the self-improvement field, and even more so because of the continued work I do on improving myself.

There are days, however, that emotions get the best of me. Being an author and speaker does not make me immune to the trials life gives us all. In fact, 2017 might have been the single most trying year of my adult life. One dislocated shoulder, 3 cars, 4 funerals and 3 eulogies makes for a year you would rather not repeat.

A better question to ask is what difference all of this self-improvement work makes when life gives you a challenge. The difference it makes is that the tough times do not last as long, and generally become less intense. When you are focused on increasing the passion and joy you feel in life, you are not focused on anger and sadness.

There are days when both emotions creep up on even the best of us. Just last Saturday I woke up feeling very sad and I couldn’t even figure out why. Talk about frustrating. Here is what made the difference, fundamentals. The picture for this post is of one of my favorite philosophers, Fred Rogers. People always get a chuckle when I mention that, but he was a master of the fundamentals. Such as the title in the picture, “What do you do with the mad that you feel?” How many adults do not have a constructive way of dealing with anger? Quite a few I would say.

Having mastered the fundamentals of what works to calm you down and help you focus when you are angry, or cheer you up and change your focus when you are sad, makes a big difference. These tools can vary from person to person, but should be thought of and practiced before sadness strikes. When you are angry or depressed, you are most likely not in your most constructive and creative mindset. Having developed these tools ahead of time takes the thinking out of the situation which can be very helpful when you are in a state of high negative emotion. Like I tell people at my seminars, the time to learn to swim is on the shore, not when the boat is sinking.

Personally, I have a playlist of songs (you can also burn a CD of songs) that make me happy. I am constantly updating this list as I hear new songs and think of ones I have forgot. I also have a list of movies that make me laugh, places I enjoy going and even people I enjoy talking to. Being able to just push play and hear music to help me change my state, or grab a list of movies and pop one in and be taken away to somewhere happier for two hours without having to think about it has helped me more often than I can think of.

There are lots of other tools that make a big difference. I have a lot of them in my book, A Happy Life for Busy People and at my live seminars. The important thing to remember is that a lot of these should be set up and practiced daily to help you avoid falling into that state. When it can’t be helped, or when life just gets the better of you, then you will have tools you know work and have already practiced. You will have learned to swim on the shore.

One more thing I should mention makes a big difference, your posse. That being the people you surround yourself with on a daily basis. Make sure there are people in your life that know what makes you tick. Even if you have all of the tools, sometimes when you are in an especially dark place, or just one of those funks you can’t get out of they can help you remember what makes you happy even when you can’t. Last Saturday, I spoke with both my beautiful lady Margie, and my good friend Russ. Both of these people know me better than I know myself on occasion. They helped to remind me of what is important to me and what I should be focused on. Having a supportive network of encouraging and loving people can make the biggest difference.

UNDERWEAR AND NICKLES

Here is one of those odd conversations you have. My friend Russ and I were recently having a telephone conversation. We try to catch up with each other about once a week if we can. Russ is like the brother I never had. We share philosophy, jokes, memories and on occasion a weird topic tends to pop up. Today was one of those days.

After the usual update on each other’s lives the topic of underwear came up. Not sure who brought it up, or exactly how and why two men in their early forties found this to begin discussing new styles of underwear we came across and how comfortable the were and how well they performed while working out. We discussed the fact that they cost a little more than we are used to spending, but how we planned to slowly replace all of our underwear with these new, comfortable and costly style.

Reading this as I type it the conversation still seems a little odd. That is who are, two odd gentleman with a panache for discussing off the wall topics. Noting that, I said to Russ, if I had a nickel for every time I had a discussion like this, I would have…a nickel. We both agreed that those extra nickels would be best spent on the products we had been discussing.

A day later I began to think how a younger me would find spending so much money on something nobody else would see might seem foolish. As we grow older, our priorities  change. Suddenly buying those expensive shoes for the brand name, becomes more about buying the most comfortable and durable shoes regardless of the brand. Spending your extra nickels on underwear that keep you comfortable not only makes sense, but should be a priority. After all, you wear underwear daily, it is close to your skin and can make a big difference in the quality of your day.

Stop and think of what you are spending your nickels on. Is it to impress others? Are you focused on things that will make the biggest difference even though nobody else may notice? If you have a friend to have a crazy conversation with, be grateful, you never know where it may take you.

THE LANGUAGE OF CHAMPIONS

This is a picture of my lady, Margie, and myself. It was taken at the “Best of Milwaukee” awards put on by Shepherd Express magazine. Both of us were runner up in our categories. Even the bar we DJ at, actually all three, were nominated as well. How did we manage to accomplish all of that? By speaking the language of champions.

What on earth is that, other than some fancy catch phrase? It is a set of standards that people who excel in any field adhere to. Have you noticed that giants in different industries can often be seen together sharing ideas? Have you ever wondered what on earth can Bill Gates and Aaron Rogers talk about other than ways to spend large amounts of cash? I can’t imagine Bill gates in shoulder pads any more than I can imagine Aaron Rogers running a Microsoft board meeting.

What they do have in common is the way they approach their craft. The same way the couple above, an author and motivational speaker with a cake and floral designer, can discuss strategy. Margie has a hard time reading more than a page without falling asleep, and if I tried to design a cake it would have to be explained away as an example of what not to do. That being the case, I believe given time and desire both of us could learn to excel in each other’s field. Not to the level we are both at, because I believe there is something to be said about natural talent, but I do believe we could be successful. This is not to sound narcissistic, for anyone can learn to be this way too. We all know famous people who seem to go from the movies, to music, or perhaps the other way around. These people are not just lucky or extra talented, but know the secret language of champions. It is the language I am going to introduce you to.

This is the first secret. In the last 3 months I have been not only nominated for the award mentioned above, but have been featured in 2 publications, and the guest on a national podcast. My website now has followers in over 100 different countries. All of these milestones have been reached in the last 3 months.

That sounds like a lot of success for a short period of time. What is not mentioned is the 6 years I have been writing blog posts, the 5 years since my book was published, and the seminars I gave where at one point only 10 people showed up. Was I tempted to give up? Sure, several times, but I didn’t. I kept writing, I kept speaking and promoting. Later this year I will be flying across the country to speak to a industry convention. (More on that in a future post)

I know I will be successful because of all I went through. Champions look like champions on game day because of all the hours they put in at practice. My lady’s cakes look like masterpieces because of all the years she spent developing her craft. I swear she can do things with a spatula I never imagined.

Do things ever go wrong for her on occasion? Absolutely. I recall one day coming home from my day job while she was decorating a cake and asking her how it was coming along. She looked up from the cake, spun around and with a look that spoke of a mix of insanity and frustration began to explain to me what happens when it is too hot and humid and frosting melts as it is on the cake. Being that I am a fan of hot humid weather, I felt it would be best if I pondered this cake lesson…while working out at the gym.

What makes her a champion is she learned from that experience and has updated her freezer, checked the mix of the frosting and some other cake magic involving unicorns, fairy dust and other things I will never understand. That is what makes a champion, the work. Jim Rohn once said “You cannot pay anyone to do your pushups for you.” Champions know that and enjoy the pushups. They learn and understand everything they go through can either make them bitter or better and they choose the latter way more often than the former.

Enjoy the process. Learn and use what you are going through right now. In other words, work harder in the preseason and when the championship comes, you will be ready.

INTRODUCING THE MOHAWK MOTIVATOR!

My newest YouTube video explains what we are doing wrong with our New Year’s resolutions and how to implement any change successfully

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!

After what turned out to be an extended process, I am front page in today’s business section in The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

Please enjoy the article, I would love to hear your feedback.

https://www.jsonline.com/story/money/columnists/steve-jagler/2018/01/19/steve-jagler-c-level-neil-panosian-introspection/1045220001/

IT IS IN YOUR BLOOD

Not only does this statement ring true for me, as my blood type really is B+, but deep down I believe inside of each of us is a joyful soul.

I know a few of you may be rolling your eyes thinking of somebody you know. Maybe the person at work whose cubicle could be dubbed the ‘black hole’ due to the lack of light in their demeanor. Maybe it is that friend who you swear looks forward to sharing all that is wrong in their world? Perhaps there is a gentleman you occasionally run into when you are out that takes pride in being a jerk? Maybe even that family member who… well you know your family better than I do. We all have the one family member who drives us crazy.

So how can these people have a positive person inside of them? More importantly, for the love of all that’s good, why do they choose not to let them out? I think it comes down to two reasons, ignorance and fear.

Most people, unlike yourself, do not take advantage of informative and entertaining blog such as this. They simply are unaware of how to change their life. When they do have glimpses of solutions, without knowledge of the science behind them, they can’t comprehend how and why the information may help them. This being the case, they may be quick to dismiss any chance for improvement and continue along their negative path.

Then we have fear. The Power that paralyzes more people then anything else I can think of. How can fear make you act like a jerk? When you raise your standards for yourself and your life, there is a certain amount of responsibility that goes with that. A lot of people are afraid they cannot live up to their own standards. Instead of learning, and persistent effort at improvement they lower their standards. Some may even cover up this fear with a sense of bravado. I have even heard one man brag about what a jerk he was. I just sat back thinking, “No, you are gutless.” Step up and admit your faults and begin to work on them. It is not an easy thing to be positive and compassionate. As we discussed in our post about Martin Luther king Jr on Monday. Understanding those who treat you or others harshly suffer from fear and ignorance, often both, may help you view them and there behavior with more compassion.

Being positive takes courage and hard work, but I would not wish to live my life any other way. If you come across someone who’s blood type is not “be positive” perhaps what is needed is a transfusion of kindness.

HELP ME, HELP YOU

Here’s what I love – INSPIRING AND HELPING PEOPLE!!

How do I do that? There are live events, but if you have a busy schedule, like most of us, or don’t want to travel, FEAR NOT! You can benefit from my years of wisdom without leaving your home!

HOW?

there is – http://www.secret2anamazinglife.com – where you will find over 700 articles to learn from and be inspired!

Don’t like, or don’t have time to read? Check out my YouTube channel Neil Panosian. I invite you to subscribe for videos that are entertaining, inspiring and may enlighten you to new and exciting possibilities! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh7SnwBeP_wFq7YBQnLv-QA

Here is the link for my channel

Help me help you. Subscribe to one or both of the FREE sources listed above and begin to change your life for the better!

CELEBRATE THE OVEN, EVEN WHEN YOU WANT THE MICROWAVE

Success is a funny thing. Earl Nightingale defined success the best I have ever heard it done. He said, “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” Meaning if you have a worthwhile goal and are working towards it, by definition you are a success. This is all well and good, especially in the 1950s and 1960s when Earl made that statement. Today’s world is a lot different. We can do everything in a nanosecond and with the push of a button.

This can make focusing on the big picture rather difficult. It can feel discouraging when you are working towards a ‘worthy ideal’ as Mr. Nightingale so wonderfully described, and you do not seem to be getting anywhere. How do you keep going? How do you stay motivated and inspired?

Allow me to use myself as an example. My goal is to become a best-selling author. I would love to get my books in the hands of as many people as I can. In this way, I can share, teach and inspire people to reduce their stress, increase their joy and become the best version of themselves. It is my dream to have a world full of people who can see the beauty in themselves, others and the world around them. To that end, I have done author festivals, started this website, and even started making YouTube videos for all of those who are not that keen on reading. Still, some days it feels as if I hit a plateau and that nothing is working. What do you do then? You celebrate!!!

Celebrate? Yes, make sure you take time to celebrate each and every little success along the way. For example, that is a copy of my book on the shelves of Barnes and Noble. (the bright yellow one) Even though my book is available online there is something special about seeing it on the shelf of a major retailor. It is my hope that people who need this book the most will be drawn to it and it will benefit their lives as they need. Even celebrating your so-called failures will help. Approaching them with a “I’m glad I got that lesson out of the way.” spirit will go a long way to helping you keep your chin up. Remember even a mistake, as awful as it may seem, is one step closer to success.

Success can be like cooking something in the oven. It takes a while, but cones out so delicious. A lot of us would like to throw our success in the microwave and have it come to iss right away. Much like microwave food, the reward for that can be not worth having.

Celebrate each and every day leading up to the achievement of your final goal and you will reach it quicker than you can imagine and you will do so with a smile on your face!

TOGETHER IS THE ONLY WAY FORWARD

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Today we celebrate the birth of Martin Luther King Jr. American minister and civil rights leader. This gentleman is someone I greatly admire. He had the bravery to stand up and bring to light the deplorable treatment of his race. Knowing standing up to speak his mind and do what is right may very well cost him his very life is something I cannot grasp. Not only to do so on a personal level, but in the national spotlight so that every person full of hate would know exactly who you were and where you lived. Risking not only your safety, but that of your family and friends. How many of us would be willing to do that just because it is the right and just thing to do?

That bravery, as amazing and mind-blowing as it is to me, is not what I admire and respect most about this man. It is something entirely different and something we can learn from his legacy. His bravery to me is easily trumped by a skill that I think has gotten lost in those who crusade for causes of both racial and social justice – compassion. In everything he stood for, Dr. King never advocated revenge, he never proposed the use of violence or crime. He never asked to be given anything other than equality, which all people, everywhere, so richly deserve.

Reading this may sound like compassion is nothing to difficult, but think of this, in the time Dr. King was alive, he was spit on, called vile unspeakable names, physically assaulted, had his life and the life of his family threatened, and as we all know, ended up having his life taken.

Throughout all of this one would not blame him if he screamed things in return such as, “You owe me!” or wanted to burn down their houses and threaten their families in return. I certainly do not want to imagine what my reaction would be if I were treated in the same fashion.

What impresses me most about Martin Luther King Jr. is his not only willingness, but insistence on working together. Dr. King understood that to make equality work we need not only the qualities of bravery, strength, and persistence, but also those of compassion, faith and understanding. Much like Nelson Mandela when he was released after having 25 years of his life taken away solely because of his race, he did not seek revenge, but said “Let us work together to lead our country.” When I read that my first thought was, “he said what?!” How many of us would be able to put our egos and feelings of vengeance aside for the greater good? How many of us would be able to understand that violence and crime are not protests and will not lead to a solution.

Which brings me to another thing I deeply admire about Martin Luther King Jr. He always encouraged every member of his race to be the most upstanding individuals they could be. There is nothing that takes away the validity of prejudice, than proving their venomous opinions wrong through right action. Just as there is nothing that feeds the fire of hatred propagated by those filled with racism and prejudice than behaving just as they describe. There is nothing that shows these traits as being archaic and asinine as forcing someone to say, “See that person helping the homeless over there with a smile and compassion? We should hate them because they are gay/black/Muslim/left-handed or whatever idiotic hatred I feel like spewing today.” Then they are the ones who look foolish.

Any intelligent person knows there are good and bad people in each and every group you examine. In today’s world where hate can often steal the front page, we must work harder than ever to love and understand one another. We must do so by not only passing laws to punish discrimination, but more importantly by addressing beliefs and behavior behind the actions of hatred. Real change happens first in the heart, then in the court of law.

It will take all the strength we have not to respond to judgment and hatred thrust upon us with hatred of our own, but we must be vigilant in our fight to make the world a more peaceful and loving place. We must do that by not only being the best person we can be, but having patience, understanding and compassion for those who need it the most, those who hate.

I leave you with one of my favorite quotes by Martin Luther King Jr. that I feel captures what we have been discussing here today.

“Darkness cannot drive our darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

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