Author: drrock00

A bartender and Postal worker by trade I was witness to the overwhelming negativity that is so common in todays society. A firm believer in the motto "Better to light a candle than curse the darkness" I created this site to bring some of the positivity back into the world and share with otheres.

WORK/LIFE BALANCE AND CHASING RABBITS 🐇

I had the great pleasure of going to the “Best of Milwaukee” party as my lovely lady’s bakery was nominated for 3 different awards. While there I met a new friend who was also an entrepreneur. As we talked, some familiar topics began to creep up. As a business owner she struggled with work life balance. Wondering what was the key to keeping her family healthy and happy as well as keeping her business thriving. She was just wondering how to get to that happy place where both had her best and were doing equally as well.

You do not have to be a business owner, or a mother to find yourself in this position. Although, I believe that emotionally that may be one of the toughest combinations. Many people try their best to balance work and life. Does it not seem that just when you are getting your career on track, your family feels deserted? When you work to increase the love and connection with those you love, you find your bank account is near empty and your career or business is suffering. That is because we have been lied to. We have accepted a truth that does not exist. That false truth is work/life balance.

In order for us to feel satisfied that we have done our best in any area of our life, we must feel we have given 100% of ourselves to it. If you give 100% of yourself to something, how much does that leave left over for any other area of your life? That would be zero. Although that truth does not sound as satisfying as achieving some sort of nirvana work/life balance, it is how the human mind and heart operate. Our joy at our success in the area of achievement will be tempered by a feeling of guilt to those areas we have neglected. This is especially true of high achievers who wish to be their best at everything. Best parent, best business owner, best parent, best spouse or best friend. As the picture above alludes to, you cannot chase two rabbits and catch both of them.

As dismal as this may sound, it is also very liberating. Knowing that it is impossible to be amazing at everything all at once eliminates the pressure of having to be. We should still have the desire to be the best version of ourselves that we can be, and it all the facets that we can be. How do we manage that? One way to do this is set times for each area of your life. Give 100% of yourself to that area in the designated time. Then when the time comes to move to another area, give 100% to that area. You will be giving 100% of yourself, but still setting limits as to not burn yourself out. Also, especially if you are a high-achiever, set a designated time to give 100% to active self-care. If you do not take care of yourself, you will not be able to give to your family, business, job or spouse. The better shape you are in, the better you can give.

Another thing to consider is that each area of your life will experience peaks and valleys. It is not a reflection of a failure on your part. It is the natural way of things. Sometimes your business will be suffering and need a little more of your time. Take note that I said ‘more of your time’ and not ‘all of your time’. If you neglect one area for another, you may find yourself running from fire to fire in your life always feeling like you are failing. It may be hard to take a step back from an area that is not at the level you are striving to get it, but it is essential for creating that balance. The most difficult area to do this is self-care. When your business and family need some attention, you can feel guilty taking time for yourself. It is so important to remember that even a little time giving 100% to self-care can allow you to come back with a better ability to serve the area of your life that needs it.

That is not to say any of this is easy. There will still be days you may feel like a failure in some area of your life. It is merely a sign you care. Now that the more you set defined boundaries and take care of yourself, the better your life will be. The balance is in not trying to do it all at once. Keep in mind there will be peaks and valleys and play the long game. You got this!

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO READ THIS! ❤️

I seldom share data like this, but here are the stats for this website for the year. As you can see over 24,000 of you have viewed this site over 30,000 times as of the writing of this post. That is the second most views and the most people since inception. If you would have told me a mere moth ago that we would have reached this many people, I would have had a hard time believing you. It is my sincerest hope that we will continue to reach, inspire, motivate and encourage people from every corner of the globe, which brings us to our next data point.

It may be a little hard to decipher the colors on this map, but everything in shades of green is where are site has been viewed this year. As you can see with the exception of Greenland and a few countries in Africa, we have been viewed pretty much everywhere. Not only does this make me proud, but it highlights a very important point for all of us. That is that self-improvement is universal. I have had the pleasure of chatting with people all around the globe and am constantly reminded that although we are separated by borders, culture and politics, our basic human needs and desire to be better versions of ourselves can be found no matter where you call home.

I mention that point because we all deserve to encourage and help each other on the journey. It also gives me great pleasure to hear from those of you who read this blog, so always feel free to comment or message us your thoughts and ideas. We at Secret2anamazinglife.com want to serve our global community and leave this world a better place than we found it. Thank you all for support and I look forward to having the honor of sharing everything I learn with you.

ONE OF THE PUREST FORMS OF LOVE ❤️

This post could have been titled “Secret to an amazing relationship”. That is what this quote is. A truly great relationship is not just about intensity, but longevity. That may seem painfully obvious, but it is worth saying here in black and white. Even if a relationship has the burning passion of a bonfire, what good is that passion if it burns out rather quickly? Of course it would be great to have a passionate relationship that lasts for a very long time, if not forever. The million dollar question is how to do that.

Consideration is one of the very important tools you can use to give your relationship longevity. Being able to look at a situation, and consider its ramifications, from your partner’s point of view is a priceless skill. It is true that we will never know with 100% certainty how something will affect our partner, friend or coworker. What we can do is use the tools and strategies at our disposal to be able to have an educated and informed thought on the matter.

What tools and strategies will allow you to best be able to consider the other party’s feelings and how the situation may affect them? There are a few big ones I would advocate putting into practice. The first one is active listening. When the other party is venting about something that upsets them, pay attention. When they mention what would bring them joy, pay attention. If you ever have a question about the matter, do not assume. Asking questions for clarity is part of active listening. Listening with the purpose of learning and understanding is also part of active listening. If you go into a conversation with a plan of learning more about the other person, you are more likely to be successful with it.

The other aspect that can really help you better consider another party’s position on a matter is having meaningful dialogue. Many people call this “Having the hard conversations”. They may seem like something you may not want to do, but being able to know where someone stands on a difficult issue prior to that issue occurring, is a big advantage. Begin the conversation by letting them know you are asking because you want to know how best to act should that situation come up. Make it clear you are interested in their feelings and the health of the relationship between both of you. When they do tell you how they feel, or where they stand on a certain issue, accept it without judgement. Remember you are not trying to get them to think like you, just understand how they think.

Using these tools and strategies your relationships will stand a lot better chance of succeeding. When you show consideration for another, it demonstrates that you value them as a person and their roll in your life. If you are wrong in your estimation of how a situation may affect them, or how they feel about it, learn from that too. Before long, all of your relationships will start to improve.

NEVER BE ASHAMED

Today we are celebrating 1250 days in a row we have met here to discuss tools and strategies for success and living an amazing life. Hopefully, today’s post will inspire you and assist you in both of these endeavors. It is about a subject that many struggle with, including those who sit in powerful positions. That is the art, and ability to admit we are wrong.

Admitting we are wrong is never an easy thing to do. It does not feel good. We fear that it makes us look unintelligent or at the very least, not as impressive in someone else’s eyes. The quote above may help us to look at admitting we are wrong in a different light. It not only shows that you are capable of learning and adding to your intellect as Mr. Swift noted, but I think there are a few more things that admitting we are wrong actually do for us. Let us take a look at a few of them below.

Have you ever encountered one of those people who are totally incapable of admitting they are wrong? They come across as arrogant and it actually makes them look fragile. It takes a good deal of self-confidence to admit fault. It shows a certain vulnerability and humbleness. In the case of disagreements in our personal relationships, I think it shows that we are more committed to a solution and solving a problem than being right. It also demonstrates that you are capable of considering the other persons feelings and point of view.

With all of these great traits to be shown by being wrong, we should never be afraid of admitting it. Something to keep in mind is how you handle it when someone admits they are wrong to you. Do you hold it over them? Do you see the traits we mentioned above? How you handle someone else’s mistakes will go a long way in determining how they will handle yours. Show appreciation for them being brave enough to admit their mistake to you. Be thankful you are not with someone who never admits they are wrong.

IT IS HUMP DAY. KEEP WORKING!

We work so hard on our goals. We work hard on our health. If we are smart, we work very hard on our relationships. Still, there is one thing that we often skip working on. The irony is that by working on improving this one thing, we will improve on everything else in our life.

That one thing is ourselves! When was the last time you sat down and thought of ways you could improve? Better yet, when was the last time you came up with a concrete plan to do so? With New Years right around the corner, let’s do more than come up with random wishes to improve our life. Let us come up with a measurable plan to do so. It will not only improve ourselves, it will improve our life!

TIME TO CELEBRATE!

Today, Margie and I will be attending the “Best of Milwaukee” awards ceremony. The bakery she owns with her daughter was nominated for 3 different awards. I cannot tell you how proud I am. They work so hard and deserve the recognition. Being an unpaid employee of said bakery, I get to go along to the ceremony. Our DJ show also nominated for best in Milwaukee. We are so thankful for our supporters in every area.

Although this party will be great from a personal level, it is about so much more than that. It is a celebration of local businesses and people who make a difference in the community. Not only is that vitally important, but the votes were cast by members of that community. Where celebration and involvement come together, that leads to a closer and stronger community. Make sure you take the time to celebrate the people who have positively impacted you and your community. That can be filling out a survey for the business online, taking the time to show appreciation for an employee during the busy holiday season or maybe a positive post about the business on your social media account. All of these do not cost you a single penny, but can mean the world to a business or stressed out employee.

When we celebrate and honor each other, all of us our winners.

UNDERSTAND YOUR POWER

New month, better attitude! So many people underestimate the power they hold in their own lives. This picture above gives us three powerful things to think about. Let us take them one at a time. By the time we are done exploring and examining it, we will have some new tools, strategies and powers we can use to positively impact our lives. Sound good? Let us get to it!

The first one is one of my favorites! The power of our words. This is one area that people overlook or do not think is as powerful as it is. Do not take my word for it. This is backed by science. Dr. Masaru Emoto did some amazing experiments using the effects of words on water. He showed that when water was exposed to words such as hate, anger and the emotions behind it, the molecules became fractured and deformed. However, when exposed to words like love, peace and the emotions behind it, they formed perfect molecules. You may think, “So a guy yelling at water made it deformed. What does that have to do with me?” Your body is roughly 50 to 60% water! If you change the molecules in 60% of your body, how will could that not affect you? This can be a negative cliche’ you recite by force of habit. It can be overreacting when you are ill. Many of us focus on what is wrong and what we lack in our life. You can see, from a scientific standpoint, how this can affect our physical well-being.

Next is the power of our thoughts. According to research, the average individual thinks over 60,000 thoughts a day. Driving in the recent snow storm, it appears I live in a city with many below average people, but I digress. Further research states that over 80% of what we think on a daily basis is negative and 95% of it is repeat thoughts from the day before. Can you imagine hanging around with someone who talks negative 80% of the time? What if that same person says tells you 95% of that same stuff everyday? How long do you think you would hang out with them? Ironically, that is what is occurring in our own heads! Most of this occurs without us paying much attention. What we think will have a great impact on what do and are willing to try. That has a great impact on our life!

Lastly, is the power of our presence. How many of us tolerate being places we are not tolerated or at the very least, not appreciated? This is one I have to remind myself of often. There is something to be said for making compromise for the ones we love, but it should not come at the cost of our own peace.

For this last month of the year, take control of your words, your thoughts and your presence. See what a difference it will make in your own life. See how much power you hold to positively impact your life.

IT IS ABOUT MORE THAN THE MONEY

This is exactly what it was like in my neighborhood yesterday. It also nicely sums up my opinion on snow and winter. We might even want to add a word after ‘this’. The sad part was it was also what they call “Small business Saturday”. You are supposed to support locally owned businesses. It helps support those who support the community by giving them your business. It is about much more than just helping Bob or Betty with their business.

Did you know that roughly 50% of people are employed by small businesses? That means you are helping half of the people and their families by shopping at a local business. Not to mention the heart and soul that small business owners bring to a community that large corporations usually lack.

It was unfortunate that there was a terrible snow storm where I live on this day. We still have many days left before the holidays and I am sure you have one or two people you need to shop for. I encourage you to do so at a small business. You will not only get a far better gift, but your purchase will be an investment in the community. It is a win/win situation. This should not be limited to the holidays. Supporting small businesses should be a yearlong endeavor. Next time you have a purchase to make, consider doing so at a small business.

STAY SAFE

Just a quick reminder as we go through a crazy snow storm here at Secret2anamazinglife.com, that you should always remember to be safe this holiday season. We will be back tomorrow with a more complete post

HOW TO MAKE LIFE CONSISTENTLY AMAZING

We will get to why this question is indeed one of the most important questions in just a minute. First, I would like to share with you an event that got me thinking about this. A gentleman I see occasionally at my day job paid me one of the most unique, but meaningful compliments. He told me what he most admired about me was my consistency of character. How despite outside circumstances, I remain upbeat and treat everyone I meet with kindness and compassion. I would love to tell you this is true all of the time, but it is not. It is true enough that a gent would notice and compliment me on it. So what is my secret? How do I remain upbeat and always treat others kindly? How can I do this despite what my outside circumstances are? More importantly, how can you manage to do this as well?

The first step is to answer what good old Albert said was the most important question. Is the universe a friendly place? Here is the tricky answer. Whatever we decide the answer is, we can find corresponding evidence for it. If we look for examples that the universe is a terrible place with people only out for themselves, there is no shortage of that. If, however, we are brave enough to believe the universe is a wonderful place with people showing kindness and compassion towards others, we will find that too. We may have to look a little harder as that kind of news does not sell as well. They are both there. I am here to tell you life will be much more rewarding and joyous if you decide the universe is a wonderful place to be.

One good way to do this is to find a guiding quote that speaks to you in that regard. Although not an overly religious person, that quote from the bible is one of my favorites. Whether you are religious, spiritual or not, find one that speaks to you. If you decide that the universe is is a friendly place, than even when things seem to be going sideways, you will understand that it is ultimately for a good purpose. This may sound like a bunch of B.S., and it is. Belief system that is. If your belief system is that the world is generally a good place, you will understand if the dark and the challenges bring their own blessings.

Does that mean your life will suddenly be rainbows and unicorns? Of course not. You will, however, begin to see the gifts that challenges bring. You will find yourself saying things like, “Boy this person is testing my patience. By testing my patience, it will help me strengthen it.” This could be to yourself or out loud. By developing this mindset you will be able to be more consistent in how you are living your life. This not only can apply to the overall purpose of your life, but to specific areas as well.

Recently, a friend mentioned how they struggled to keep a positive attitude about the business they started. When you are excited about your business and nobody seems to come through the door, how do you stay excited? That is a challenge. If you have a firm belief in what you do and why you are doing it, view those ‘down’ times as a test of your dedication to your business and an opportunity to learn different ways to attract customers and improve on that which you are now doing. My third book did not go over nearly as well as I had hoped. Instead of viewing myself as a failed author, I took that opportunity to examine how I bring my message to people, how I promote my books and what I could do better with my upcoming fourth book.

The secret to a consistently amazing life is to decide that your universe is a friendly place, or whatever goal you are pursuing is worthwhile. If that is the case, then how could anything not be working towards your greater good? Put both the victories as well as the challenges to work for you. The more you do this, the more life will be amazing and the easier it will be to be consistent in all you do and who you are.