Last post we discussed a great secret to an amazing life. That is changing up your inner dialogue by including certain empowering questions. A lot of people have the habit of asking dis-empowering questions such as “Why me?” or “Why do things always go wrong for me?” Trust me when I tell you whatever you focus on you will find. Here is a great secret. You will find it even if it is not entirely true. If you keep asking why things go wrong in your life, your subconscious mind, which is always listening, will go to work to prove you right. It will begin to highlight all of the things that are going wrong in your life. The things that go right? You won’t even notice them because your brain will not see them as fitting your definition of life.
How do we turn all of this around? Begin to ask questions that serve us. Put life to work for you. Is it really that easy? No, but it is that simple. Like forming any new habit, it will take time and some effort but the payoff is an amazing life. I suggest writing these questions down and carry them with you throughout the day. Why? When forming a new habit we can use all the help we can give ourselves. I still carry them with me as a reminder. I suggest writing these three questions down.
- ” How can I use this?”
- ” How can I use this for positive inspiration?”
- “What is good about this?”
I suggest adding them one at a time starting with the first one. The reason being is when we are in a negative state it can be very hard, without practice, to ask ourselves what is good about that situation. Normally, our brain will respond quickly with an answer such as “Nothing!” If we start with “How can I use this?” it will allow us to put that negative situation to work for us. By doing so we can begin to see how there might be something to use in the situation after all. Let us take the unfortunate example of having a tire go flat while we are out in our car. That is never a fun experience. It would be all too easy to let anger and frustration get the best of us. If we stand there cursing and kicking the flat tire long enough we will begin to display physical symptoms as well. Our blood pressure will rise, our nerves will begin to fray and lots of other unpleasant symptoms.
What is the alternative? Put the situation to work for you. While we are waiting for roadside assistance try practicing meditation. Even just closing our eyes and picturing a vacation we have been on, or even want to go on, can supply us with a quick mental vacation. We could even read something inspirational…like a blog dedicated to helping you live an amazing life. We could begin to think of people and situations we are grateful for. Changing the tire yourself? We could practice trying to do it quickly, like they do in professional racing. Try singing our favorite song as we put the lug nuts back on. There are countless of possibilities.
If we learn from every challenge in life, we put it to work for us. If all we do is feel sorry for ourselves, the failures and challenges tend to weigh us down and prevent us from taking actions to improve our life. Once we begin learning from them, it may allow us to see something to be grateful for in the situation. Take our tire going flat example. You could begin by being grateful it did not cause us to be in a serious accident resulting in injury or loss of life to ourselves or others. We could be grateful it was not anything more serious in terms of car repairs. We can let it inspire us to take new actions. We could learn to change a tire ourselves. We could finally take action to purchase that roadside assistance program. We could be inspired to keep a motivational book in our car and begin reading it daily. The possibilities are endless.
When we have so called ‘failures’ in our life it is up to us whether we let the weigh us down or put them to work for us. One way is the sure path to an amazing life. The other is a sure path to feeling down and living a less than inspired life.