In beginning any new undertaking one of the greatest things we can do is ask others for help. Be it a new creative project or just attempting to live our lives with more joy and passion, there is always someone who can make some part of our journey easier. Now with the internet and email asking people for help became that much easier and widespread. A few of you may have been cringing inside reading those last few lines, but that is about to change. I used to be the same way. “nobody likes to ask for help it’s a sign of weakness” That is what I used to think. One day one of my mentors changed that for me. When we were out for lunch and I began to argue to pay the bill he asked me “how do you think it makes me feel to buy you lunch?” I told him I honestly didn’t know how it made him feel. “How would it make you feel?” he asked me. I told him it always makes me feel good to be able to treat my friends for dinner. “Oh it does?” he asked. “Yet you were going to deprive me of experiencing that same feeling?” Truly he knew that was not my intent, but it did get me thinking. When I started this blog I asked a million people a million different questions. Friends who write their own blogs, friends who know how to promote things. Friends who are also trying to bring light to others. Then I stopped. I started to worry I was ‘bothering’ them. Did I appear that I didn’t know what I was doing? One day, just to show you how long it takes for me to get a point, I apologised to me friend for asking her to many questions about her blog. “Why would that bother me? I’m sure you’ll be happy to be able to help me later on” she said. I was taken back to my friend at lunch that day. Not only does asking for help make our journey easier and quite often saves us a lot of time and grief, but think of how it makes the other person feel. Better yet, think of how you feel when someone kindly asks for your help. Do you look down on them? Chances are you do not and you feel pretty important and valuable. Now why would we deny another that feeling? To make things even better, it often forms new bonds between friends and supplies us the perfect opportunity to practice gratitude.
Month: February 2013
WHAT IS THE SECRET?
Many people ask after reading this blog, “well what is the secret?” “How do I start living a positive rewarding life?”. First things first, there is no magic formula to wake up and start living a positive life. In fact, I’m going to be honest it may take a week, maybe a month, maybe more. The closest comparison I can draw is getting in shape or learning to play an instrument. You don’t pick up the violin one time and suddenly become a master. Neither do you go to the gym once and expect to be in shape for the rest of your life. Developing a positive attitude is a lifetime journey. Just like playing and instrument or becoming physically fit different ways may work for different people. Now before this starts to sound too much like work or just another challenge you may not have time for. Remember that the journey to a positive rewarding life, although a struggle, brings with it rewards of a far greater proportion than the effort it takes to obtain them. Not to mention they continue to compound on each other. There are times people ask me, “ok how do I remain positive when ‘x’ happens?” The answer to that is two-fold. First, there are times when it is certainly ok not to be happy. Nobody is happy all the time and nobody should be. There are moments in life that try our souls and make us cry. Yet out of our sorrow we can even come to appreciate our joy more. The second part of that answer is that is a lifestyle change. When something goes wrong in our lives is not the time to start to be concerned with focusing on joy. Although I have seen tough times refocus some people. No, the perfect time to begin our journey is today, right this very second. That way when tough times come, as they will, we can face them with a more hopeful spirit and a positive outlook.
LOSS OF A LOVED ONE
There are times when living a positive life may seem impossible and may even need to be put on hold. When we must walk a balance of supporting others while shouldering our own share of the grief.
One of the most challenging moments we can have in our lives is the loss of a loved one. We look for anything and everything we can to heal the pain. It has been my experience that only time can do that. There are a few things that help keep my spirit going on when faced with such a situation. First, it is to cling to and remind those you are still fortunate enough to have in your life in the physical realm. Remind them how much you love them. Even better if given any opportunity show them. Remember too that it is only in the physical plain that you are separated. I am not here to speak to any after life or what one may believe, but our loved ones always live on in our hearts and in our memories. When my cousin was taken at the young age of 22 a few years ago right before christmas all of the other cousins, including myself and a few others who don’t even smoke, enjoyed one of his favorite cigars in his honor. Well this may sound silly to some I think it helped us all feel a little closer to him. Now, here is something I try to do that also really seems to help. Each one of us brings their own light into the world. I know my grandmother used to be the perfect hostess and loved playing card games with the rest of the family. When she passed away that left a hole in the family. To this day when the family is together I always try to make sure everyone has a cup of coffee or whatever they need. Not to mention I love playing card games with everyone. So be it a game of cards, or a terrific sense of humor, remember when we loose a loved one it is our duty, honor and privilege to let them live on by trying to keep the light they brought to the world burning, both in our hearts and for others to see.
dedicated to my dear friend Lory, you will always be missed and never be forgoten.
HOW DO I BEGIN??
Confession time. I have a terrible flaw. When beginning any project I tend to think ten steps in advance. I worry about what will happen months, sometimes years down the road. On several occasions this overwhelms me to the point I fail to even begin. On my road to self discovery I am learning to address and understand that as time goes on. In fact, had I not this blog would not exist. Which, some of you tell me would not be a good thing and I thank you for that.
The point of this confession? Is that I can understand when people tell me that in today’s world it just seems to difficult to achieve, much less maintain a positive outlook. What do they do about all the crabby people they encounter(more on that in another post) or how do they balance being informed without subjecting themselves to the negativity of their local paper or the evening news (also a subject to be addressed later this week) “It seems just to hard and hopeless I don’t even know where to begin” one lady recently told me. Well, thanks to some wise words from a dear old friend I was reminded of a great place that makes it fun and easy to start. One of my favorite books I have read in the last few years. Don’t worry for those of you who do not like to read it is also available on audio book. Even better, there is also a dvd! What is the title of this collection? “The Secret” I’m sure several of you have heard about it, and some of you may have not. personally if you can I recommend picking up all three as there is something to be gained from each different format. If you are not sure, or do not have the time or funds to dedicate to all three I strongly suggest starting with the movie. Imagine sitting down with a big bowl of popcorn, or your other favorite snack, putting in dvd, relaxing on your couch and in a mere two hours you can be on your way to beginning a more positive life. Now the movie is more about the law of attraction, but once you watch it you can see how close the topics of the law of attraction and living a positive life are connected. It also does a fine job of explaining why feeling good is so important and offers suggestions to help you to that end. I encourage you to watch it with at least one other person if you are able as it could become a fun and interesting conversation for years to follow. If you are unable to find a friend to watch it with you feel free to discuss it here with myself or other followers of this site as we are all here to help each other on the path.
A COMMON THREAD
Working with the public you sometimes hear a lot of views expressed you would rather not. Now I don’t advocate any spiritual belief except for the one that the individual decides is right for them. In making that decision, however, it does not free you up to pass judgment on those whose opinions are different then yours. After all, much like politics, what good will it do? Telling them your beliefs are right and theirs are wrong, or worse yet, calling them names will not make them change their mind. In fact, it only sheds a bad light on whatever spiritual path you may have chosen.
In every subject in which there is strong opinion my first suggestion is to understand. My second suggestion, find common ground. One ‘common thread’ that I have noticed runs through most of the common spiritual paths is the golden rule. We have heard it a million times, said a million different ways since we were young. ironically the teaching of the golden rule encourages us to look for that common thread. We will discuss this ‘rule’ in another post. Here I thought it might be interesting to show how the same phrase is present in several of the main belief systems.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” –Christianity
“What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow-man. That is the entire law; all the rest is commentary” –Judaism
“Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful” –Buddhism
“No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself” –Islam
“Blessed is he who preferreth his brother before himself” – Baha’i faith
So if people ask, “How can you like these kind of people” you can see, because we are all human and we are not that different.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 