Tag: Viktor Frankl

THINK ABOUT THIS MONDAY MORNING

Here we are at Monday again! Seems like there is 52 of them a year. So many of us dread Monday. It can be understandable. Back to work, away from the family. You can’t sleep in and spend the day drinking coffee and relaxing with those you love. Unless, of course that is your job. In which case, please let me know where they are hiring. On Monday we have obligations to meet. This time of year we might have some weather to contend with. There are far more challenges than on the weekend.

This quote from the Dalai Lama reminds us that despite our challenges, or often including them, the gift is to be alive. We need to change a little mindset on a Monday. Instead of asking ourselves how we can make it through, I feel we should ask ourselves how we can make sure not to waste it. If we adopt the saying from the Dalai Lama above, we will begin each day with both gratitude for the gift of being alive and an intention to make something out of that gift of life we have been given. This may not always lead to a successful day full of joy and dancing unicorns and rainbows, but the chances sure will improve with intent.

This may seem a bit over-the-top for some of you. It really shouldn’t be. Our lives can be one phone call, one diagnosis away from being flipped upside down. I do not think any of us could argue that. There are people in the hospital wishing and praying for the life we know have. There are people who would have gave anything to make it as long as we have. Their life may have been tragically cut short. Yes, we all have challenges and things we need to overcome. That is part of life and what helps us grow and discover new and wonderful things about ourselves and the world around us.

As for the intent portion of the equation, how much better would our day go if we looked in the mirror and declared that we were going to have a wonderful day no matter what the world threw at us? It is admitting that things may not go according to plan, but we still can maintain control over our emotions. I recall reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. In that book he describes his experiences at a Nazi concentration camp and how he managed to maintain control over his emotions. Dare I say, we will not face something so grave, but we will still face our share of challenges. It may seem like wearing rose colored glasses when we claim we can maintain our inner peace and joy despite outside circumstances, but that is not so. We can still admit we would desire things were different than they were, but that there are still many reasons to be grateful the way things are. Even if, as the quote above says, it is the gift of being alive.

IN MY LIFE THIS HAS MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE ðŸ¤”

This simple phrase has unlocked an entirely different life for me. This is not an exaggeration. It is not hyperbole. Wherever you are reading this, take a look at the people around you. If you are by yourself, imagine the people in your life. Most of them do not operate on this principle.

The majority of the world spends their time focused on influencing outside circumstances. How much control do you have over other people, places and things in your life? Limited at best. Energy spent on these endeavors is not well spent. Conversely, how much control do you have over you?

The man who wrote this spent part of his life in a concentration camp. In there, he had zero control of outside circumstances. He realized what he did have control of was his mind. It is the same with you and I. Our circumstances are not anywhere near as dire.

Think of it like this. You are driving in your car and you want to go to Walmart. Would you just keep driving straight and hope someone builds a Walmart in front of your car? As asinine as that sounds, that is what we are doing when we are wishing the boss would become better, our spouse would be more loving, the economy would get better.

Here’s a thought. Grab the steering wheel and drive to a Walmart. What I mean by that is to take control of your life and direct it where you want it to go.  Your boss sucks? Maybe they are motivating you to find a better job? Your spouse not as loving as you would like? They are providing you an opportunity to brush up on your own courting skills. The economy is a little tough? Work on creative spending and savings plans.

It is about the choice from going from a victim mentality to a victory mentality. Don’t wait for the waves to change direction. Adjust your rudder and sail and get there no matter what the waves are like. Conquer the ocean of life!

THE SECRET THAT IS REALLY NOT A SECRET🤫

Recently, Margie and I attended a wonderful graduation party. I did not know anyone there. As we took our seats, I found myself next to a woman who was several years my senior. She began to talk openly with me from the very first second. Not only was she one of the sweetest souls I have encountered, we discovered many things we had in common. We both enjoyed the Wisconsin State Fair immensely. We also both enjoy reading and began to share some of our favorite books. As so often happens, this took us to sharing our philosophy on life. We came to many common conclusions. One, more than the rest, seemed to stand out to me and I would like to share it with you today.

There are a few things in life, that when we pay proper attention to them, can impact nearly every area of our life. With just one simple tweak to these areas, we can radically transform how we experience our time on this planet. One that I think everyone may overlook, or that the very least take for granted, is our perception. What I mean by that is the meaning we give every situation in life. Inky Johnson, one of my favorite speakers, puts it this way, “Perception drives performance every day of the week.” meaning how you view what you do, will determine how you do what you do. Feel free to slowly read that last line again. This may be hard to follow and even harder to believe, but I am going to give you a few examples that really drive the point home.

One of the books we both thought had a powerful impact on our lives was this one. Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Viktor was a phycologist who was a prisoner in a concentration camp during World War II. To read what this man went through is enough to break your heart. How he managed to make it through was by finding a positive purpose in that journey and immersing himself in it. When I reach a challenging point in my life, I think of a man who was able to make it through one of the most hellish circumstances that a man can be put through. If he could make it through that, how am I to complain about car trouble, or not seeing eye to eye with a friend. Yes, those both can be frustrating situations, but when compared to surviving a death camp, it feels a little foolish to become to upset about them.

I mentioned Inky Johnson earlier. Inky was a football player who was only games away from being drafted into the National Football League. During that game, he made a tackle and through no fault of anyone, lost use of his right arm and hand. He was planning to help his family put and end to generational poverty but was now facing a dilemma of how he could support himself, much less anyone else. To have a dream you have chased since you were 7 years old crushed right before it was about to happen would be soul-crushing enough. To have it happen right after you inform your family you are going to be able to lift them out of a state of poverty would be more than most of us could handle.

Through his faith, Inky understood that he was being redirected. He is now one of the top motivational speakers in the world, and as you can see in the photo above, an author as well. He not only has earned a fair sum and has a career that will outlast any he may have had on the football field, he has also changed and positively impacted countless lives. This is a reward he would not have had if he had not been injured and, more to the point, if he had given up. His accent on why he did what he did, allowed him to continue to push forward and not give up. His perception did truly drive his performance.

What we believe about life and how we view life, will go a long way in determining how we live our life. If we view every obstacle as proof our life was not meant to succeed, then that is what shall be. We will live feeling defeated and beaten down. If we view them as life providing us opportunities to grow stronger, then we will feel as if we are growing with each obstacle we face. The same thing can be said for ‘Failure’. Some of us may view it as a defeat. Others may view it as a stepping stone to success. You can imagine both viewpoints would lead to not only a different emotional state, but different actions being taken. I suggest you not only get your hands on a copy of Viktor Frankl’s book, but take a hard look at your perception of life and how it is impacting the way you live.

FINDING BEAUTY IN HELL

This may be one of the more intense things you read today. I know it is one of the more intense posts I have written in a while. I hope by the time we leave each other today, you will be inspired to look at the world in an entirely different way. The above picture is the outside of a concentration camp from World War II. It still blows my mind how humans can sink to this level of evil towards their fellow human beings. To have a total disregard for the extreme value of human life is beyond me. As you all know, I believe each one of us have a unique gift to bring to the world and a loss of even just one life is too many.

There were so many families that were torn about. Generations that were eliminated from existence in these terrible places. Above is a picture of one man who lived through this nightmare. His name is Viktor Frankl. He was from Austria. As a medical student studying to be a phycologist, he was concerned with the high rate of teen suicide at the time. He set up free clinics in his town that were made available to those who needed them. In 1931, there were no teen suicides thanks in great part to the role of this man. You would think such a caring soul and brilliant mind would be treasured and his programs expanded upon. Sadly, in 1938 Austria became part of the Nazi empire.

In 1942 Viktor married the love of his life. Only nine months later, his entire family were sent to the concentration camp. His father died of starvation. His mother and brother were killed in the gas chamber. His wife died of typhus. Viktor spent 3 long years in the camps. While in there, he practiced what he called logotherapy. One of the aspects of which is that meaning plays a central motivating factor and force in one’s life. He also stated that people find meaning in one of three ways. Making a difference in the world, having particular experiences, or by adopting particular attitudes.

The quote above is a great encapsulation of the book Man’s Search for Meaning. While living in deplorable conditions. Even witnessing the death of his father, his mother, his brother and his wife, Viktor found beauty. Even while being treated as less than human, he found beauty. How on earth was this even possible? One, he was determined that his circumstances, no matter how extremely hellacious they were, would not determine his attitude. He refused to let the evil captures dictate how he was to think. The last freedom, as he stated above, that he had left. He also found beauty in the most extreme situations. One of the examples I found gut-wrenching, yet oddly inspiring, was his story about his soup. The prisoners were given a daily broth of potato water that was somehow supposed to sustain them. One day, while looking in his bowl, he found a potato peel. He celebrated this turn of good fortune as if he had won the lottery. My friend Linda, remembered a story where he saw sunlight shining through a piece of glass and enjoyed the beauty of that.

Man’s Search for Meaning is a book that at once details the unspeakable depths that man can sink to, but also the resilience of the human spirit and will. Everyone should read this book. I think I will do so again shortly. What really stands out to me is, when determined, a man could find beauty in a living hell. When I start to complain about aspects of my life, I think of Victor Frankl. If he could find a beautiful life in the most deplorable conditions, then my inability to find beauty in my own life has less to do with my circumstances and more to do with my attitude.

WHEN WE HAVE NO CONTROL..

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves”

-Viktor Frankl

Often I am asked “How can I be expected to live a positive motivated life when I am surrounded by all these negative people at work?” or “How can I remain positive and motivated when my loved one just passed away?”  Again I am here to be the first to tell you this blog is not about being happy 100% of the time.  It is about being happier and being so more often.  There will be times in our lives that situations happen beyond our control.  That is when we are forced to grow.  When our emotional fortitude is strengthened. When we are forced to look for a deeper meaning than what lies on the surface.  You have heard the saying “We can’t control our circumstances we can just control how we react to them”  As the quote above indicates there are times when there will be nothing we can do to change our situations.  Sure you could always quit your job and go looking for another.  You better not be a single parent or like eating very much though.  Once a loved one has passed on there is nothing we can do to bring them back.  That quote actually came from the author of a book entitled “Man’s Search for Meaning”.  Viktor Frankl was a prisoner in a Nazi death camp with his family.  He was spared from the gas chambers, but had the terrible job of removing all of the dead bodies.  Some of which were his friends and relatives.  Now I realize this may not be all that inspiring, but my point is very few of us face a situation that tough.  This man did.  He knew that he could not single-handedly change that situation.  What he could do was change what it meant in his own mind.  He used his goal of being able to survive to be able to tell his story to both prevent something that terrible from happening again as well as to show others they have the power to impart meaning to any situation they face.  So next time life gives us a challenge, remember it is not only our chance to grow, but our chance to look for the beauty, to look for the empowering meaning.