Tag: values

LIVE YOUR VALUES

This quote could not come at a better time. It seems the world is arguing about whose values are right. Many people are doing their best to force their values on others. That never works. Why, in the year 2025, have we not figured that out is beyond me. If we truly feel our values are ones other people would benefit by adopting, there is only one way in which we can have them desire to do so. Notice I did not say convince or force them to. When we attempt to do that, it creates resentment and often negatively represents whatever value we are attempting to inspire others to adopt.

The one way in which we can demonstrate to others the benefits of adapting this value is to live it ourselves. If we are advocating a particular health lifestyle, but we are sick all of the time and lack energy, it would seem unlikely anyone would follow our advice. In my line of work it is much the same. I wrote a book titled, Living the Dream. If you ran into me and saw that I was in a constant state of depression, my health was poor and so was I, would you be likely to buy the book? I know I would not. The reality of the situation is that I have people asking me the secret of my happiness and the relationship I share with the woman I love. I guess I could tell them to “Read the book.”

It is not just what is in the book, but the fact that I live and practice the activities that I wrote in there. If you read that book, available on Amazon I might mention, you will have the very same tools and strategies that I use in my own life. Speaking of my amazing lady, there is another secret to living your values – having people in your life that call you out when you are not. It can be a bit frustrating when I am busy feeling sorry for myself and I hear my love’s sweet voice ring out, “That is not living an attitude of gratitude.” Having someone who holds you accountable is one of the best tools to living an amazing life. We all slip from time to time. Having someone remind us of the values we hold dear is worth its weight in gold.

4 WORDS FOR YOUR WEEKEND… AND YOUR FUTURE 4️⃣

A few posts back, I shared a great insight I had received from my new friend and teacher CJ. As an example of how important surrounding yourself with the right people can be, I would like to share another amazing nugget of self-improvement gold I get from him. This tool is only four words long, but can transform your way of thinking and thus, your way of approaching life.

Four words to change your life? Really? Like many of the tools and strategies in my first two books, this one is customizable, but I am going to relay it to you the way CJ told me. He came across this idea of measuring his actions and patterns against four words that represented his values. The four words, or four H words, were honest, hungry, hone able and humble. When a challenge arises, he reviews it through the lens of these four words. Is he being honest? This could be honest with others, but what about being honest with himself? Honest about his motives? Honest about his intentions? Hungry is a good one. Les Brown says hunger is one of the most powerful forces in the human spirit. Napoleon Hill calls it ‘burning desire’, but it amounts to the same thing. You must passionately pursue that which you are chasing. This holds true not only for career and financial goals, but what about your relationships? If you are not continuously hungry for that love between you and your partner, the relationship is vulnerable. Hone-able technically not a word, but being able to hone ourselves and our skills is essential. A closed mind is never open to opportunities. Humble. That word is worth its weight in gold in a society where everyone is looking for their fifteen minutes of fame. Knowing that you do not know it all will allow you to learn more and be open to more.

I challenge you to use these four words this weekend. Ask yourself if you are living up to them in every area of your life. Where you are not, ask yourself how you can improve. Try this for the next 48 hours. Then what? Come up with your own four words. What core values would you like to represent? If you are having a hard time coming up with some, just ask yourself how you would like others to view you. When your name comes up, what would you like them to say? I would love to hear what you come up with.

ARE YOU TRULY WHAT YOU ARE?

At first, this question may seem silly. Of course you are who you are. Looking at the quote above, we can dig a little deeper. The quote from Mr. Jung, whom I do not always agree with, brings some good questions to mind. How many of us know people who always seem to be preaching one thing, but doing another? You know the ones. They talk about how you should be healthy, all while they go out and get drunk several nights a week. How about those who tell us they can’t stand drama, but a few minutes later are whispering the latest gossip in your ear? I am sure we all know people like this.

Here is where things can get a little uncomfortable. It many ways, that person could be found in the mirror. On my YouTube channel (Neil Panosian) and in my second book, Living the Dream, I advocate an exercise that can be very beneficial. That is to write our own eulogy. This can sound morbid to some, but it is a very powerful tool for transforming your life. It has certainly made a huge difference in my own. This idea occurred to me while contemplating the death of my cousin in his early twenties. It solidified when I was asked to write 5 eulogies in 2 years. I began to think of what people would say about me when I was gone.

More to the point, I began to think of what I wanted them to say. I quickly scratched a few notes down on paper. I wanted to be known as someone who made a positive difference in people’s lives. I wanted to be a light that caused others to keep going when they wanted to give up. I wanted to be an example for how a man should treat a lady. I wanted to give to the greater good and leave the world a better place than I found it. I had parroted most of these statements for years. Then I had to ask myself a very important question – was I living them? In many ways, the stark truth was that I was not. At least I was not doing so to the fullest. In some cases I was at sometimes, and then not others. No consistency. My actions did not always match my words.

How about you? Do your actions match your words? Do you honestly think people will describe you as you hope to be when you pass on? In my own life, doing this exercise of writing my eulogy, helped me become clear, for the first time in my life, as to the person I wished to be. It also helped provide me a good course of action as well as a set of guidelines. These were not rules others were telling me, but instead ones that went with the values I had chosen to be remembered as. I can ask myself, is what I am doing an example of how to treat the one that you love? How about be a gentleman? What about leaving the world a better place? If the answer is ‘no’ I know that I need to change those actions to better match the person I am striving to be. If the answer is ‘yes’ I know that the actions I am taking are in line with the values I have and the kind of person I wish to be remembered as. How about you? How do you wish to be remembered? Are you taking actions that will lead others to remember you that way, or are you someone who they will remember as a person who said one thing and did another?

GET ON MY LEVEL

I really like this saying. What it reminds me of is this, that when we receive criticism from somebody we must stop and consider the source. What a person places as their priorities and their experiences in life are different than ours. If a person is a vegetarian they may very well say something about you eating meat. If their parents were alcoholics, they made give you a critical glance for enjoying that cocktail.

It is not even always this black and white. Depending on people’s goals, whether realized or not, they can be critical. Somebody who is driven and works on their passions 7 days a week may be accused of not having enough fun by the person who spends their weekends partying. The person involved with getting in touch with themselves spiritually may be looked down on by the person who is driven for taking time to meditate instead of work. (Although if you follow my work you will know that regular meditation can make you less stressed and more productive) It depends on what we value and where we want to go in life.

All of this being said, one of the first questions I recommend asking ourselves when we receive any sort of criticism is whether or not there is any truth in it. Often the way criticism is presented prevents us from gaining any real value out of it. If instead of hearing “You are a selfish jerk!” you heard “I think you could really benefit from trying harder to see situations from other people’s point of view.” We would be more likely to listen and contemplate if indeed there is truth in the statement. Sadly, often times by the time someone offers us criticism they are too emotional to word it productively. It is up to us to look past the harsh words and decide if the criticism is due to different values, or if indeed they have a valid point. Another way to learn if there is something you might need to work on is if you hear the same critique from several different people.

So, my friends, be confident enough in yourself to not let others opinions of you become your reality, but humble enough to realize they may be pointing out something you may have missed.